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 400speedfilm
Joined: 10/15/2016
Msg: 1
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Message response ratePage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I have been on here for about a year at this point, I have sent out 199 messages all to different individuals (I keep track, I like statistics).

Anyways whenever I send a message, I have an 18% response rate. So that means 82% of my messages get ignored. Is this normal for guys, or is this really bad? I have read that some guys only have like a 5% response rate.

Also, I do not put just 'Hey' or 'Hi', my first message always ties into a common interest.


Thanks for any advice.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 2
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Message response rate
Posted: 8/17/2017 8:42:41 PM
my response rate is .001%, but typically women message me first, so its ok......
 slavedriver8
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 3
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Posted: 8/17/2017 9:36:03 PM
My response is about 3%. Of those replies I do get, about 75% call me a sick pervert or worse. Just because I'm more than a little kinky and looking for the same.

I actually don't send very many messages anymore. The kinky ones eventually find me. Too bad most of them seem to be in England. Is there something in the water over there?
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 4
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Message response rate
Posted: 8/18/2017 10:23:16 AM
Good luck on all your number crunching..nerds!..wait..I am an accountant and it makes sense..carry on.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 5
Message response rate
Posted: 8/18/2017 10:53:13 AM
Response rate does not matter much, as long as you get some responses. You only need one good one in the end.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 6
Message response rate
Posted: 8/18/2017 2:35:05 PM
About 5% on POF and 10% Match. However I had more first dates / meetings from women that contacted me first.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 7
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Message response rate
Posted: 8/18/2017 3:28:11 PM
Lots of things to factor in. You don't even know if you are messaging women who have active profiles. Hard to know if your response rate is on point because we have no idea who you are reaching out to. Seems like you have a high response rate compared to a lot of the men who post in the forums.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 8
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Message response rate
Posted: 8/18/2017 5:59:49 PM

Is this normal for guys, or is this really bad?


It is more than normal for regular guys.

It is really bad for 6 foot tall male models who drive a $1.4 million Ferrari LaFerrari.

Just pick a category that you feel you fit into.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 9
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Message response rate
Posted: 8/19/2017 5:21:03 AM


Anyways whenever I send a message, I have an 18% response rate. So that means 82% of my messages get ignored. Is this normal for guys, or is this really bad? I have read that some guys only have like a 5% response rate.


Just the opposite- you're doing quite well.

If I had a 5% response rate, I'd be excited. Do I sound excited?


"Online dating for the good man is a soul crushing experience of unanswered messages and an empty inbox."


I've adopted that theory. I didn't want to. I had to. That sales pitch to get you to sign up for OLD, is just that. They really want you to send them money, so that you can be out money, as well as time. Suggestion- sit on your wallet, be thankful for what you have.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 10
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Message response rate
Posted: 8/19/2017 11:22:18 AM

Anyways whenever I send a message, I have an 18% response rate. So that means 82% of my messages get ignored. Is this normal for guys, or is this really bad?

In general, it's Above Average. But it all depends on WHO you write to. Being a slender, nice looking 30 year old guy -- if you were to only hit up cubby-checker gals 25-35, that'd be too low. If you were to hit The Hottest gals in your district (regardless of what words are in their profile), that'd be Really good.

In a nutshell, you're doing fine getting a response out of every 5. Just estimating here, but a guy should expect 1 out of every 7 to just merely get a response... but about 1 out of 15 to get a real conversation + date.
 Dedelf6809
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 11
Message response rate
Posted: 8/21/2017 10:15:44 PM
Since April I've sent thought out custom first contacts to over 200 women. I've had responses from five. Three of the five were one word responses that ended at that. Of the two that said more than one word one was obviously not looking for anything more substantial than a pen-pal and the other it just didn't work out. This is just over four months. And I only initiate contact with women that on a scale of 1 to 10 are struggling to reach 1. My math skills suck but I think I can anticipate having maybe one or two more real conversations over the course of the next 8 months.

The number that have initiated contact with me in this same time period: 2. Both of those conversations ended in less than four messages.
 LOLTrump
Joined: 3/7/2017
Msg: 12
Message response rate
Posted: 8/22/2017 8:06:51 PM

Anyways whenever I send a message, I have an 18% response rate. So that means 82% of my messages get ignored. Is this normal for guys, or is this really bad?


The amount of responses you get is not indicative of being normal or abnormal.

Maybe you meant to ask if it is above or below average, which is impossible to say and also it really does not matter.

As getting a 99% rate vs a 0.01% rate means nothing, as the only thing that matters is the end goal.

The only thing that is bad, is caring about it.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 13
Message response rate
Posted: 8/23/2017 1:35:32 PM

Response rate does not matter much, as long as you get some responses. You only need one good one in the end.


Getting more responses doesn't guarantee more dates and a possible relationship. I do think it gives people a relatively better chance though. When I was using OLD, I could be talking to multiple women at the same time and end up having a date with about half of them.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 14
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 9:46:12 AM
I can't even remember the last time I sent out a msg....I think I've yet to send one THIS YEAR

The last 2 I sent were to women who added me to their faves, thinking surely they would respond right ?

Nope

POF ?
More like PO WTF ?????
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 15
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Posted: 8/29/2017 11:02:07 AM

Getting more responses doesn't guarantee more dates and a possible relationship.


Perhaps not, but, getting NO responses does guarantee NO dates and NO relationships from OLD.
 Dedelf6809
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 16
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 12:03:53 PM
This thread made me start thinking so I decided to do an experiment to see what would happen to my response rate if I adjust what sort of women I message and message every woman that was presented to me by plenty of fish.

Usually I decide if I'm going to message a woman by first looking to see where she lives. This is Maine and winter is right around the corner so anything that requires more than a half hour drive in good weather is not reasonable in the winter. Then I look at their profile pictures. Normally I only message women that are, by conventional standards, fat AND ugly and I avoid messaging women that look like other guys might find them attractive. I'd place myself as at least a 4 or 5 on a scale of 1-10 so the thought process is somebody struggling to be considered a 1 would be more inclined to at least say hello (For those wondering, it doesn't work that way). Then I read the profile and see if anything about me fits what they are looking for. By existing and being female they're already the girl of my dreams so the important thing is to see if I'd fit what they are looking for.

Earlier in the thread I posted the results from doing things that way.

For the experiment I changed my search criteria on the site. I left the distance at 25 miles, changed body type to average, a few extra and overweight (it used to only be a few extra and overweight so that's an improvement!), ages between 30 and 45, only women who list their education above high school (I actually do care about intelligence even if I don't care about much else). Strangely enough there are only 198 women listed that fit that criteria so I wonder if those settings are still too restrictive. Women with athletic or slender builds make my skin crawl so I would rather not even message women in those categories as part of the experiment. Yeah I can message them and then just not respond if they say something but then I'd feel like a butthead. I'd feel obligated to continue talking to them and I'd have to find a way to convince them they want nothing to do with me. Too much hassle so I just didn't bother with adding them to the experiment. All other search criteria was left as anything.

Since I didn't have anything else to do over the last week I messaged every single woman the search results showed me and then a few more because new users joined. None of my messages were less than four full sentences long and the content was restricted strictly to things listed in their profiles and other getting to know you type questions. No comments about pictures unless there was a picture that stood out in its uniqueness or gave an opening for conversation and absolutely no discussion about sex or appearance.

Women who responded with one sentence or less: 0
Conversations started: 0
Profile views: 1
Unsolicited messages from women that don't fit the criteria: 2
Unsolicited conversations that lasted more than a few sentences: 1
Prospects:0

So since April I have messaged every single woman in the area that fits my basic criteria plus the women in my area that almost but don't quite fit my personal criteria. And I'm walking away with nothing but an increased sense of dread about my future.
 Dedelf6809
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 17
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 12:25:03 PM

In a nutshell, you're doing fine getting a response out of every 5. Just estimating here, but a guy should expect 1 out of every 7 to just merely get a response... but about 1 out of 15 to get a real conversation + date.
Another dating site, I forget which one, analyzed the messaging habits of their users. How many messages were sent, when they sent them, how often they received a response etc. Their number crunching showed males need to send on average 114 first contact messages in order to receive 1 response. Women need to send 5.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 18
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 1:21:13 PM
^^^Jeepers.
I hope the women you are messaging don't read these threads
and see what your criteria is.

:o(
 Dedelf6809
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 19
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 2:02:46 PM


^^^Jeepers.
I hope the women you are messaging don't read these threads and see what your criteria is.

:o(
I thought about that before posting but all things considered it felt like a pretty safe bet it wouldn't matter. When you've sent out several hundred messages and received less than a half dozen replies back and nothing of substance it's safe to say none of them would be bothered by knowing I only messaged them because I don't think anyone else would.

I'm not messaging beauty queens, the girl next door, or the average Jane. I'm not aiming too high and hoping for the best. I'm aiming at the ground.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 20
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 2:12:02 PM

I'm not messaging beauty queens, the girl next door, or the average Jane. I'm not aiming too high and hoping for the best. I'm aiming at the ground.


Well, here's hoping you get what it is you desire and deserve.
 Dedelf6809
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 21
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 4:08:16 PM

Well, here's hoping you get what it is you desire and deserve.
Thanks but I stopped looking for what I desire fifteen or twenty years ago. What I want is a woman that fits my definition of attractive (5'7" or less, 150-250 or so pounds, small or average (but definitely not large) boobs, plain face) enjoys my company, respects me (and doesn't constantly use my O.C.D. as a source of entertainment) is affectionate, enjoys sex but isn't obsessed with it and at least graduated middle school. I've never met a woman that had all of those qualities at the same time so now it's "if it has a pulse and I don't throw up when I see them they win".
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 22
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 4:11:39 PM
" You have a pulse and I don't throw up when I look at you - HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ! "


So romantic !
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 23
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Posted: 8/29/2017 4:26:18 PM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I don't vomit
When I look at you
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 24
Message response rate
Posted: 8/29/2017 5:21:09 PM
And then some people are forever a 0
4 or 5? snerk
Violets are blue
So are some men's balls
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 25
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Bluer than blue
Posted: 8/29/2017 5:47:21 PM
Violets are blue
So are some men's balls

This made me laugh out loud.
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