Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Need a advice      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LS7uru
Joined: 5/22/2014
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Need a advicePage 1 of 1    
Hello,

I met this girl while hiking. We spoke for 2-3 hours going down the mountain and eventually exchanged contact info. I messaged her that night that I’d like to take her for dinner to get to know her more. she replied saying that she will taking me up the offer when her schedule frees up a bit. I wasn’t sure if that was a nice rejection on her end or she was actually busy. Normally when someone agrees to meet but doesn’t give a timeline, I move on, but I really like this girl and I wouldn’t want to move on without another chance. How and when do I follow up with her without sounding too pushy or desperate.

thanks
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Need a advice
Posted: 9/7/2017 12:11:02 AM
TOO LATE. You already sound desperate. In fact, asking such a question on a dating FORUM is a desperate move. If your mind is already in this state - there is no way anyone else can help you on a date - you are going to spit out one desperate plea after another.

Count yourself lucky if she calls, but it's obvious she has no intention of contacting you again. She probably gave you her number in hopes that you would NOT follow her home.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 3
Need a advice
Posted: 9/7/2017 9:47:07 AM
Ive never been too busy to go out with someone that Im really interested in. I would not follow up with her at this point.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Need a advice
Posted: 9/7/2017 1:53:29 PM
Hmmmm, LH is old enough to be your mom..................No bears hiding in the woods? No dental floss in her pocket?

(LOL couldn't resist, inside Forum joke)

Please don't over think this. IF she wants to see you..................she will contact you. Easy peasy!
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 5
Need a advice
Posted: 9/7/2017 2:32:23 PM
"she replied saying that she will taking me up the offer when her schedule frees up a bit. "




Translation :

" I'm a hiking ho and I have too many guys giving me the Grouse Grind at the moment. I'll let you know if I need a new Tuesday stud "
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Need a advice
Posted: 9/7/2017 5:31:38 PM
With little info in your post, I can't say much really. I'm not sure how long you last texted/emailed her. But your reply to her "taking up the offer when the schedules free up a bit" should be "great. Let me know when it's good for you" and leave it at that.

if she's interested, she'll contact you. It's possible that her schedule is really busy at the moment. Give her space and time.

However, if you don't hear from her in a week or two, you may text her once more. Something like, hey, how're things? Still crazy busy? Keep it light and non pushy. Also be prepared for disappointment.

Good luck.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Need a advice
Posted: 9/7/2017 11:08:13 PM
If there was a time to follow up it would have been to ask when she thought her schedule would "free up". What does that even mean? After Christmas, in the year 2525? You should have asked when and made a plan to contact her after said date. She didn't agree to anything. You let her leave you vague and so were you. You're gonna be pushy and desperate if your hanging onto an imaginary timeline. She didn't give you one? You didn't ask for one.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Need a advice
Posted: 9/13/2017 8:22:42 PM
Absolutely nothing wrong with calling her in a week or two just to ask.
Don't be wishy-washy. Have a plan in mind in advance.
If you don't have positive and upbeat feedback from her, don't call a third time.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Need a advice
Posted: 9/26/2017 4:08:26 PM

she replied saying that she will taking me up the offer when her schedule frees up a bit. I wasn’t sure if that was a nice rejection on her end or she was actually busy.

Depends on how she follows up. By default, you give it an 80% chance it's a rejection. 10% chance it's not a rejection, but, unless something comes up (don't hold breath), her interest will fade into one. 10% chance she meant what she said and will follow-thru.

but I really like this girl and I wouldn’t want to move on without another chance.

That's the motivation asked for in the Official Stalker Handbook (Chapter 3, page 87).

How and when do I follow up with her without sounding too pushy or desperate.

What you should have done was responded after that last response of hers, since you like her so much... with a "Understandable. Just hit me up if anything comes up pretty soon, otherwise, we can touch base [a day that would be about 7-10 days from now] and see if anything's potentially open. No rush. :)". If she finds that "too strong", 100% chance she wasn't liking you anyway. But at least there, the "we can touch base" part -- you open it up so you're not weird if you texted her 9 days later after not hearing from her and go a not-really-a-Date-route with a "Hey Jen, thought I'd touch base. My friends and I are going to [this little event downtown] -- thought I'd see if you were available." No response? Done. Game Over. Response that she's tied up that evening, but no suggestion on her part? Put the ball in her court like "No prob, just thought I'd ask. Feel free to hit me up some time if/when you're free. :)" -- and don't expect anything (just giving her the opportunity to hit you up out of boredom someday possibly; Very low low % chance, hence, treat it like it Is Done).
 Roseanna001
Joined: 11/16/2017
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Need a advice
Posted: 11/22/2017 2:12:36 PM
Here's the thing, chances are she had a life, plans, things going on before she climbed the mountain. Those plans and things were waiting when she came down the mountain and meeting you didn't change those. People can be busy and focused and honest when they say "I'll let you know." Chances are she didn't fall in love with you on the way down the mountain, just as you didn't fall in love with her. To think she's being dishonest by not accepting your invitation is premature in my opinion.
It may have been a nice rejection or an honest response based on what she knows of her plans. She didn't ask you to wait for her, that's something you're thinking of doing on your own. Continue to follow your gut, when you're ready, you can send a message saying hi or let it go. This really is in your court because she never gave you a definitive timeline for her response.
 Nezz123
Joined: 9/6/2011
Msg: 12
Need a advice
Posted: 12/13/2017 9:46:15 AM
Hmm. I sadly don't have psychic powers (or I'd be rich ~_~) but my guess is that she really means is:

"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer when I know you a little better".

Your goal is now to initiate light conversation that shows you're a safe, fun person to spend time without any pressure!

My Suggestion:
1.) Try to remember something that came up in conversation before and text of something related to it from the real world. For example, if she mentioned loving dogs....take a pic of the next friendly dog you meet and text it to her with an upbeat caption. Then waaait for her to respond so you can gauge her interest. (Note: This only works if the photo is from the real world. If you just find the pic online...she'll know it's bait. You want it to feel a bit spontaneous).

2.) Text her a quick update on something in her wheelhouse. Example: if she recommended a good author, borrow a book by that writer and text her a pic of the cover with a caption like, "Took your advice. Starting chapter 1. No spoilers! XD"

Once you've established rapport and been chatting a while, then maybe suggest a quick/light/low-pressure meetup. Coffee and/or tacos are perfect!

Good luck! :D
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 13
Need a advice
Posted: 12/13/2017 9:59:48 AM
The OP never returned to say what happened
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Need a advice