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 Lance014
Joined: 9/6/2017
Msg: 1
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Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!Page 1 of 1    
OK. So I seem to be having bad profile problems. I did my best to make my profile, have tweaked it a few times now. Even got a haircut and had my daughter take pictures of me. I am sending out messages. I don't think I am saying anything creepy. I typically try to personalize my messages. So far no responses - only the crickets chirping... Though I have noticed that at least the women are taking the time to view me after I send out a message.

Can someone take a look? Criticism very welcome!!

I don't know how to post a link to my profile. Hopefully it is easy to get to through my user name??

Thanks,

Lance
 Lance014
Joined: 9/6/2017
Msg: 2
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Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/10/2017 6:39:07 PM
One more thing. I am pretty new to POF. I signed up for another site before POF. Was getting no responses there either. The user base on POF does seem better than the last one for Dayton OH. I basically took my profile from that and tweaked it some more. So it's about a month old.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 3
Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/10/2017 8:17:23 PM
It's obvious you made a real effort. Thank you for that.

A few thoughts -

The username is really difficult. How many underscores are there? If someone puts 5 and it should be 4, they'd never find you. Just a thought...

There is no legit reason to post photos with your underage minor children. Period. However, a note in your profile mentioning how many/how old/how often is helpful.

Many of the Interests can be amended from the generic (ie: Music) to a specific one or two-word favourite. Otherwise the Interests won't stick in your viewer's memory as they fall under the typical generics everyone else uses. Be you.

The profile does have a ton of information, it's just really badly organized. No need to list all the previous States you've ever lived in as it sounds like you move a lot and that could discourage contact. (unless you DO move a lot and plan to move again).

A couple of lines describing the personality/character of the lady you'd like to meet may help someone decide to initiate contact or reply to a message. Good luck!!
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 4
Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/11/2017 3:33:36 AM
It's all a bit bland and generic. Nothing terrible in there, but nothing memorable either. All I can remember after reading it is that you're a rocket scientist but actually just like the next 10 guys. Try to pump up the excitement and passion. It reads more like a technical manual than what it should be: an ADVERT.

Several negativities which could turn off the reader. What if she likes country and/or rap? What if she likes a certain chain restaurant? Better to phrase these things positively, eg. I like to support small independent local restaurants.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 5
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Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/11/2017 12:58:23 PM
Hey Lance...

Two things jump out at me reading your profile...and I may be reading it entirely incorrectly. One...liberal point of view and Two...travel/moving.

The first...and it’s a hotbed one, so I’ll try to break this down and briefly. I don’t wanna box you in or get to in the weeds with this...but I used to live and I’m from that general region of the country. Been all around the nation, currently in the SF Bay Area. Yeaaahhh...soooo, I think you know that a SF ‘liberal’ is different than one from the Heartland. So...as a ‘political consultant’ as to national candidates, I would say, in these parts...hit the ‘banks and corporations are screwing you...’ speech and go lighter on ‘Identity politics.’ As to the environment, we wanna be clean, but we still have smokestack jobs and we can’t solve ALL our problems with another app.

Pushing away from that, there is also a lifestyle difference, which I’m sure you’ve picked up on. Living in California, travel is a constant activity. In fact, ‘what are you doing this weekend’ is a common Friday question you’ll be asked at stores and offices...complete with Monday morning reports. Here, that could be multiple road trips, without family and friends, flying somewhere both foreign or domestic. In Middle America, and particularly where you are, in the Fall/Winter months, it’s, ‘Got wings and beer, going to watch the games, family coming over.’ And...on that 'Family note,’ it plays big there, while here, you could argue, we get some of those who are running AWAY from Family.

That brings me to perhaps the biggest point. When you say 'Have spacesuit,’ is that travel or moving ? Being that you’ve moved already several times already. I’m in a business where we move a lot, I’ve probably moved three times as often as you. I can tell you, as a general rule, women see that as a negative. Even if you tell them strait up, this is the deal. They’ll accept it until it happens. Moving for a better career opportunity or standard of living is not much consolation for them, when they have to leave mom and dad.

Last note here. You appear a smart guy, have impressive academic credentials and a respectable job title. How that translates to pragmatic living...not sure. You’ve heard ‘smart is the new sexy.’ That means the dumb pretty boy is out. That doesn’t necessarily mean revenge of the nerds and geeks here. I’ve seen plenty of women’s profiles say just that. They like smarts, just not nerdy/geeky. While often used pejoratively, being neutral or even complimentary here, it seems to describe you. It may not be read as a positive, however. Transcending that to the 'spirit of debate and discussion’ I don’t think people enjoy that in their private relationships as much as they ever say. Because it leads to arguments and while they can be entertaining in art, in life, they can be divisive. It’s one thing to argue about practical things, it’s quite another over academic/abstract issues. Communication can defuse conflicts...it can also create them.
 Lance014
Joined: 9/6/2017
Msg: 6
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Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/12/2017 7:08:44 PM
I appreciate your for the comments. I have made a bunch of changes now. Lots of restructuring and fiddling. Hopefully better?

I think I have made changes to each item you mentioned except the username because I don't know how to change it. Also, if I do, does it delete my messages and such?

Many thanks!

Lance
 Lance014
Joined: 9/6/2017
Msg: 7
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Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/12/2017 7:12:40 PM
Hi Mark_It_Up,

I am definitely guilty of making it sound like a technical manual. The curse of my day job! So I restructured it to sound more like an essay. Hopefully more personal?

Also got rid of the negativities, I hope. Makes sense, now that I think of it.

Thanks for the review,

Lance
 Lance014
Joined: 9/6/2017
Msg: 8
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Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/12/2017 7:23:37 PM
Thanks Flyover_boy,

Definitely I am guilty as charged of being liberal. I hid this for now, but it might reemerge. I am not really interested in conservative women. I often feel out of place in Ohio. Perhaps I need to find women from other places who have moved here... They are definitely the ones that I relate to the most. I suppose these types of women are my target audience?

The travel vibe was a mistake on my part. Thanks for pointing it out. I have actually lived in Dayton for a long time now. Those were the places that I have lived over my whole life. I have changed that part up a bit.

The "Have Spacesuit..." thing is actually a title of a Sci-fi book by Heinlein. Shows my nerdiness, but most will miss this. Those that don't will hopefully appreciate?

Your comments still require more thought on my part. Perhaps more changes to come...

Thanks for the review,

Lance
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 9
Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/12/2017 9:20:57 PM
Better! A couple more quickies...

There is a caption feature attached to the photos you can use to add humour/personality/description.

Personal pet peeve: "Single father/50% custody". No. You are a father. You are a co-parent. It's assumed you are 'single' as you're on a dating site. I was a widow, which is a true single parent. Instead - "I am the father of a couple of great kids age (# and #) who I have half of the time".
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 10
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Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/13/2017 6:29:54 PM
Profile looks good just as it is now.
 Lance014
Joined: 9/6/2017
Msg: 11
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Profile Review - Brutal honesty requested!
Posted: 9/13/2017 6:40:47 PM
Thanks! I definitely feel better about it now. So it's only been up that way for about a day now and I am already getting replies from people that I have sent messages... Well, two, but not being ignored is very nice! (Two in one day is good for me.)

Regards,

Lance
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