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 Leanne00011
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 1
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POF is bottom of the barrelPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Due to not having a social life online dating has become my only avenue for finding a partner. However I am disappointed in the pool of men on here, it really is bottom of the barrel. I rarely find a man that I am attracted to and my standards aren't even that high. I certainly don't get messaged by anyone I find attractive and I find this depressing. I will not settle for someone I do not find attractive, but this seems to be my only option. Any other women disappointed in this site? I'm not holding out my hopes anymore.

In before 'don't let the door hit you on the way out'.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 2
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/8/2017 7:40:55 PM
Leanne, My first experience with OLD was 2010, on a site I had to pay to use. A few months later I found POF. Over the next 4 years, on and off I used approx 7 different sites. I met 151 men in those 4 years. #151 was a keeper. He was not on POF.
More often than not, the men on POF were the same men I found on the other sites.

It is up to you, to present yourself in the best light, with the best pictures and the best write up about your self, in order to be successful.........................in the Online dating world. Be positive, be patient, and be proactive.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 3
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/8/2017 9:06:37 PM
Off to Profile Review for you.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 4
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/8/2017 10:24:49 PM
You professed lack of a social life is a huge Red Flag with a big cement truck blocking the road.
You say POF is bottom - have you even tried other sites, have you even tried pay sites, have you even tried sites that are focused on your favorite activities or interests - or is all that much too much work or too depressing to even think about?

A hammer doesn't do anything by itself. A pair of scissors are pretty useless while in the junk drawer. EVERY dating site is only a tool. You either use it well, or you don't. A site gives you a way to contact other people. YOU have to make the contact. YOU have to show up for a date. YOU have to be social enough to garner another date. A web site does NONE of those things - all it provides is a searchable list for you to get started. If that's too depressing, then you are in the wrong place.

If you can't be bothered to take initiative or generate interest in anyone, perhaps you should hire someone to do it for you.
The best profile on the Internet is useless if you're just going to be anti-social when someone contacts you.
 magicstillaroundme
Joined: 10/2/2017
Msg: 5
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/8/2017 11:38:43 PM
Dissenting opinion:

Just accept the fact that there aren't enough good ones to go around. It's harder for everybody for that very reason. Put dating aside because you are a little late in the game and there really isn't much out there to satisfy you. On the up side, giving up would leave you the time to become a veterinarian or chase some other dream. That might be cold comfort but the bottom feeders that you don't settle for have even worse prospects.
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 6
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 12:08:21 AM
Put your profile picture right side up get a few pictures of you smiling and of what you enjoy doing. Don't sound negative maybe a picture with contacts. You seem like a hidden gem in beauty but you need to make it shine once in awhile.
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 7
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 1:33:50 AM
I don't think it is just women. I think men have this problem to. I have seen other men like post about not having any luck. Me my self I think I have messaged like 100-150 women on here and have had like 3 message me back and out of the 3 they all where only 1 message so not enough to really try to talk and maybe set up a time to meat or any thing and I have tried doing different types of messages to see if something works. I don't even message women on here much any more because most of the women I find attractive on here I have already messaged. There are not a lot left that I find attractive around my age and even the ones that I do I can tell we have nothing in common so the physical attractiveness means nothing. I think the problem is with both online and off line that most the people you find attractive and may have things in common with are either taken or they don't find you physical attractive at all. If you found like 200 women around my age that could be a match most likely 200 of them would already be taken and the other like 100 would not find me physical attractive and yeah I am not going to settle either. People that says looks don't matter are just lying. Yeah looks are not the only thing that matter but no matter how much I have in common with some one if I don't find them physical attractive I am only going to be able to think of them has a friend.
 outdoorsguy705
Joined: 2/7/2017
Msg: 8
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 11:27:49 AM
What I find is people are looking for something that doesn't exist on internet dating. I have sent out hundreds of messages to women and have gotten very few responses. I have found many sugar seekers. Honestly I don't have many no go on dating the only things that put me off is drugs, smoking and heavy drinking.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 9
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 2:13:39 PM
OP, answer 1 question:

Why do you deserve only someone you're attracted to?
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 2:20:48 PM
Is there a reason you haven't bothered to rotate the only picture you've posted?

I've met my husband here so I can't agree that there are NO good men on there. However, it did take a long time to meet him, and I certainly put in a lot of effort until I did.
 Leanne00011
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 11
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 2:38:49 PM
In your crazy universe I may not 'deserve' it but there's absolutely no point in being with someone you don't fancy. The sex would be terrible.
 Leanne00011
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 12
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 2:41:05 PM

Is there a reason you haven't bothered to rotate the only picture you've posted?


I rotated the file on my computer, but this didn't translate when it was uploaded on POF. I've tried doing it several times but it still comes out on it's side.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 13
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 4:05:31 PM
OP: Have you contacted anyone you might consider good looking enough? If you're sitting back, waiting for Prince Charming to show up at your doorstep and sweep you off of your feet, you'll be waiting a long time. A little effort on your part may go a long way. If POF is for the bottom of the barrel, what dating site has the most beautiful people-and why aren't you solely focusing on the sites for the beautiful people?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 14
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/10/2017 6:48:00 AM

Off to Profile Review for you.

Ditto and get that chip off your shoulder before you go. It will just hinder you.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 15
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/10/2017 1:28:49 PM

I certainly don't get messaged by anyone I find attractive


The ones you find attractive are probably messaging the ones *they* find attractive, because I'm sure they can't be with someone they're not attracted to, either.

Interesting how this all plays out, yes?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 16
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/10/2017 2:33:56 PM
I agree with others that you need a profile review. I'd also get rid of your age range between 18-45. There's a definite creep factor there. Why would a woman of 31 be looking for an 18 year old?

Are you hoping to get lucky that a 45 year old guy might have a son that age, and you could get a 2-for-1 package deal?
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 17
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/10/2017 5:21:54 PM

I am disappointed in the pool of men on here,


We're even, then.

I am disappointed in the pool of women on here.


my standards aren't even that high.


Mine are.


I find this depressing.


Welcome to the club.


it really is bottom of the barrel.


Well, I'm stuck to the lid.


There are not a lot left that I find attractive around my age


I see plenty of women my age and all ages that are PHYSICALLY attractive.
It's the mental attractiveness that falls way short.


The best profile on the Internet


My ears were burning.
Thank you.
I agree.
 GQManOfTheYear
Joined: 1/7/2011
Msg: 18
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/10/2017 7:53:09 PM
Wait a minute, I called women "bottom of the barrel," both on my profile and here on the forums. Yet, when I did it, I was censored. American/western society's double standards.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 19
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/10/2017 8:36:11 PM
As someone else noted, you're going to want to enhance your profile. You have a very negative look on things in general, even from reading it (not to mention your solo photo with that drab facial expression). Improve it, and improve your outlook/POV... or at least put on a happy face and look at things leaning on the potential positive.

However I am disappointed in the pool of men on here, it really is bottom of the barrel.

I can understand that claim when you're talking %-wise. But I don't see it that way, even in your area. Your POV is skewed.

I rarely find a man that I am attracted to and my standards aren't even that high.

If you're talking about life in general -- then rarely finding a man attractive = your standards being high in attraction. That's like, the definition. Not high in the normal common standards sense, but it defines High aka overly-picky in your own tastes.

If you mean just on here -- then I have to disagree with you, and heck, I'm a hetero guy. Not to say you can be legit in rolling your eyes at how many men you have to scroll through to find one who's reasonably attractive -- OK. But not going by %s, yes, there are sexually attractive guys on here in your area mixed in, and guys out of your league too. :)

I certainly don't get messaged by anyone I find attractive and I find this depressing.

Why? You just said you can't even Find a guy you find attractive on here. Why would it be depressing that unattractive men don't (phew) write you?

I will not settle for someone I do not find attractive, but this seems to be my only option.

Okay, this is what I'm thinking: You know there ARE attractive guys on here in your general area but they're not writing you. :) You can write guys, but fix up your profile, girl! Add more pics, be appealing. Don't expect everything to come to you based on "what I deserve!" and the like. You're no more special or deserving than anyone else browsing thru profiles and seeing your thumbnail in a list. You have to draw them in -- and yeah, even write some guys too after you fix up your profile wording and pics, etc. You're just going about it with slumped shoulders, expecting everything to come to you with little to no effort. Not a wise idea. :)
 magicstillaroundme
Joined: 10/2/2017
Msg: 20
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/10/2017 9:38:34 PM
People seem to be underestimating what the OP is up against. She is living in a demographic nightmare. In the UK, a HUGE percentage of men her age are deemed completely unemployable. I forget the exact numbers but it is a quarter or more.

The OP is educated. She says her standards are not that high. Even if she just wanted the absolute minimum, someone somewhat literate and reasonably reliable, there may not be any. Think of it... men that are only barely civilized are unavailable to her.

She could live in or near one of the UK's many so called "man deserts". Mile after mile of council houses occupied by single mothers and their children but men are excluded.

Just twisting her picture and punching up her profile is only going to get her some illiterate jughead that likes to drink himself silly and start gang fights at football games. She should settle for that? Really? As sad as it may be, she is better off by herself.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 21
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/10/2017 10:08:07 PM

People seem to be underestimating what the OP is up against. She is living in a demographic nightmare.


Then it's up to her to relocate. If she can't do it now, she needs to make it a goal. I have said many times I believe the biggest issue with many of the "I can't find anyone" people is location.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 22
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/11/2017 12:02:45 AM

People seem to be underestimating what the OP is up against. She is living in a demographic nightmare. In the UK, a HUGE percentage of men her age are deemed completely unemployable. I forget the exact numbers but it is a quarter or more.

Sure, but you're missing the bigger picture. Click on her profile and see thumbnails of some nice looking women (without logging in to clash with built-in age/locale filters) -- many working. Then log in... and advanced search Grantham, England, 25m radius, as Female seeking Male, Thin/Athletic/Average + has car there in England, from 27-35. Plenty of decent looking guys with jobs on there. She lives in a populated environment within 25 miles. It hits up all 35 pages of "Online Today" in the Advanced Search. It's not a bottom of the barrel arena. Check it out. And man, they got better looking gals running around than where I'm from, in a 25 mile radius! Of course, more densely populated area.

Even if she just wanted the absolute minimum, someone somewhat literate and reasonably reliable, there may not be any.

Search. It's easy to see. :)

Just twisting her picture and punching up her profile is only going to get her some illiterate jughead that likes to drink himself silly and start gang fights at football games.

No, not only. Her profile is unideal. It's costing her that and ones that are more to her liking.

After reading thru what she wrote, I think what she's referring to as the men -- are just the ones who Write her. As she says, it's depressing that nobody she finds attractive writes her.
 kissntells
Joined: 11/20/2016
Msg: 23
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POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/11/2017 12:25:16 PM
"I rotated the file on my computer, but this didn't translate when it was uploaded on POF. I've tried doing it several times but it still comes out on it's side."

My guess would be you're not saving the picture once rotated.

Go to "Paint"
Click on "File" then "Open"...and select the picture that needs rotated.
In the toolbar at the top click on "Rotate" then click "Rotate right 90"
Go back to "File" and click on "Save as"
In "File Name" (Near bottom) ...select any name you like and type it in.
Click on "Save"
Go to POF and use the name of the picture you just created.

Hope this helps. If you need any more directions with this let me know...Class 101 now open! :)

btw ...I think there are some good men on here. Pictures just aren't the whole story. Personality has a lot to with attraction (at least for me anyway.) There are men in rl I wouldn't physically be attracted to until I started talking to them! I have a neighbor whos the same height (may even be slightly shorter) Online it'd be a "click next" - but in rl -a "big yes"! (and no -he has no fancy house or car) lol
Just sayin...maybe give some of these "quick click no" a meet!

Good luck in your search. :)
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 24
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/11/2017 5:44:08 PM
The picture can be rotated within POF itself.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 25
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/12/2017 9:58:10 AM

I'm currently unemployed

Ironic that you may consider someone bottom of the barrel. They may think the same of you.
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