Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger t      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
His profile says he's 51 but he said he's actually 61, that when he first went online and had his real age, he didn't get any hits, so he changed his age. He otherwise sounds very interesting but I'm really put off by this. What do others think? I've found that lying about one's age is, unfortunately, very common on dating sites. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to say oh, I understand, I lied about my age, too! I'm actually 74, not 64! But I didn't, I blew it, I said I found that a real turn-off.

What would you do? Would that be a deal-breaker or would you meet them anyway?
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 1:28:51 AM
A better question is if he represented an age of 57 and then confessed to being 67, would you have any doubt? Polling others will not resolve this for you ... that will be internal as you negotiate the value of his potential youth and energy with his violation of your extensive list of rigid guidelines which already prohibit contact from those whose age is incorrect.

My acceptance or rejection of that would be moot to you and the poll without value, in determining how it relates to you, now that we have established profiles are riddled with lies, deception and fantasy. And coming up with the clever retort reminds me of George Constanza pigging out on all the shrimp, being the butt of a joke for it, and the day later plotting and planning how to get his jerk-store retort in. In this case of what value are such games?

If Julia Louis Dreyfus claimed she were 46 and had a clean bill of health, and I later learned both were false it would not be a deal-breaker, as she and I never had a deal, never a mutual understanding she violated. I personally don't care what a profile says if the person is interesting. Everything starts from zero when we actually communicate and meet. I am not here to enforce the pof code of conduct. This is a jungle and people are doing what they can to come out on top. Everything gets its appropriate weight in its context, so it does count, but not in an artificial ruling. Now looking at your impeccable profile, it is extremely descriptive, and a distant outlier for its long list of do's and don't in highly educated prose. So, for you, he is obviously not going to work as a relationship.

Being introspective about this: Are you truly on a higher moral ground than he? You have a couple of unlabeled ten year old pictures, and all but one are at least three years old. The only current picture looks potentially photo-shopped or from a studio. Is this not on gaming on par with his manipulation of the website to get a desired outcome? Is it intentionally obfuscated; Can we detect any hypocrisy, not that there's anything wrong with that? Not to be exculpatory - just to maintain the intrinsic divinity of the scales of justice. And what about the drive to engage in heckling games with people like this wily gentleman - does your profile do justice in saying you 'do not live superficially'? What does it mean to live superficially, then, according to whose arbitrary rulebook?

9
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 3
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 2:19:41 AM
You can only love someone as far as you can trust them so even a little white lie like age in the beginning can be a turnoff, I understand.

All I can do is suggest that people don't do it.
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 4
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 9:26:06 AM
To me when someone lies about their age by a decade+ it means they are looking to date younger and maybe have an aversion to dating people their own age because of self entitlement, etc. What else are they lying about? What is funny about this scenario is I am sure some of these folks get burned because they think they are meeting someone 10 years their junior (because many other people lie about their age by a decade) and it turns out they are the same age.

A few years back I met a man who I thought was three years younger than myself. During our meet I looked at him and asked, "How old are you really?", and he told me he was quite a few years older. In that very moment I felt so disappointed and it ruined any chance of me pursuing him. I liked him and was attracted to him, but got so turned off. Is it really worth it? I guess the majority who lie feel like it isn't a big deal and that the person will accept the lie as they themselves may be lying (or not).

BTW there are tons of threads on 'lying on profiles'. What irks me is when I've met men who said they were of a certain age, not married, had no kids only to find out that everything was a lie. How many lies can a person keep up? To me that takes a lot of effort.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 9:39:06 AM
I don’t lie. I will admit that I don’t disclose everything up front, but nothing in my profile is incorrect or even exaggerated. Age, height, marital status, all correct, right down to the decimal point.

I have encountered many women misleading their potential dates, incorrect age, body type, etc. I don’t get bent out of shape about it, life is too short. When I meet with the lady, she is either attractive to me (physically, mentally, emotionally), or she isn’t. I can afford to waste an hour of my time, no big deal, just move on to the next.

The most common lie (or perhaps I should say “deception”?) that I encounter is body type. Women (some women, definitely not all) will go to great lengths to hide the fact that they are overweight. I think that’s a very bad idea, you should go with what you have, what you are. One of the first things I realized when I started this journey (OLD), the very worst thing that can happen to you is to see a look of disappointment on their face when they first set eyes on you.

That has happened to me, and I found it to be a soul crushing experience that I never want to repeat. Never.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 6
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 10:44:27 AM
Well Henry.....you are one of the few and proud....

I agree with you that it's always good to be up front and honest.....-always the best policy

And yes....being lied to about age, weight, and looks - not resembling the photos has happened to me too.....and it stinks!

I can't tell you how many times the guys I've met up with lied about their body type....they say "athletic"....but in all reality......Big and Tall might describe them better.....

I don't mind a person being Big and Tall as I myself am a BBW.....as long as you are making SOME SORT OF ATTEMPT to improve yourself.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 10:54:18 AM

Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?


No.


Would that be a deal-breaker


Yes.

You're either part of the problem, or part of the solution.

People who lie about their age are part of the problem, of ageism.

I really am 61.

An atypical 61.

The age probably doesn't help me any on a dating site, but it is what it is.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 12:34:08 PM

His profile says he's 51 but he said he's actually 61, that when he first went online and had his real age, he didn't get any hits, so he changed his age. He otherwise sounds very interesting but I'm really put off by this. What do others think?

I wouldn't be put off if they told me thru initial conversation ONLINE. The profile wasn't made for you -- it was just an ad on a bulletin board, and he came out and said it. We don't want to turn disappointment into them Actually Wronging us. Again, the ad wasn't an email from him to you. Now, if he waited until date #2/3/4, then I'd have some issues about it, yeah. But even during date #1, I wouldn't.

Here's a litmus test: You're 64. This guy you see is 68. Great looking for his age, great stats, initial conversation seems great... But then he says he's actually 59. He could change his age early on but didn't know it'd lock. Would you be just as upset?

You're great looking for your age. Say 20 years ago you and I chat online (I know, hardly anything online - lol). But you put you're 54, not 44, which you tell me after initial convo starts... or even during the 1st date when having some drinks. Am I going to be upset? I'll raise an eyebrow wondering why of course. I'd be put off your answer was "Because I like f-ing with people", sure. But if it's a "Too many younger guys kept hitting on me online, so I just bumped up my age since I'm new to this as I like older men too -- but I couldn't change it back. I figure I'd only give this online thing a try for a little while anyway, but yeah, I'm 44, not 54." I wouldn't have a problem. 44? "Hey, you're in my dateable range, and not some 'older woman' just for a fling!" is what I'd be thinking.
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 2:09:22 PM
Once I met a guy on here. He has a respectable career as well. His profile said that he was 5 years younger than me. During the 3rd date, he was telling me that he was actually one year older (he shaved his age off by 6 years). He tried to bring it up as naturally as possible. I didn't like it at all but kept quiet. After that 3rd date, he ghosted me and set up different new profiles on POF, always with a younger age than he actually is. I'm so glad he ghosted me. Good riddance.

I think a lot of folks want to show up on the search of the younger age groups so they cut their age by 5-10 years. I personally don't care. If anyone doesn't want to date me because of my age, so be it. I had quite a few younger guys (8-12 years younger) message me and ask me out. I see no need to lie about my age. Now that I no longer look to date, i left my profile as it is.

I just can't see myself Ina relationship with a guy I don't trust. So to answer your question, OP, no, I won't go out with a guy who lies about his age. In fact, dishonesty of all forms are deal breakers for me.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 3:59:26 PM
Well....you've been given two choices, so either way that person has already told you a lie. Consider that. Will every question you pose have two answers?
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/6/2017 11:35:10 PM
Ageism is the new frontier.Old people that don't like old
people are just the kind of people I want to no!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 12
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 5:51:08 AM
I've been on this forum long enough, to have heard of every hurdle, real or imagined, people have to overcome in order to get a date online. IF a person interested me, AND they were the one expected to pay for things, then sure, i'd go...with my eyes and ears wide open.

maybe he's real interesting b/c he lies about everything else. So go in with eyes and ears open, listen for anything that doesn't jive, and have no hopes going in. Consider it a fun time with someone who may just turn out to be nothing more than a good storyteller.

at least he told the truth about the age. Perhaps that's the only lie he tells. "all fair in love and war" and all that. He could have kept that secret from you.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 7:43:57 AM
He may have misrepresented himself
on his profile...but he was honest
in telling you the truth before you
met.
Some show up hoping you won't notice.
I hear this all the time with age and size.

So yes I would still meet.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 14
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 10:00:16 AM
"some show up, hoping you won't notice. I hear this all the time, about age and size"

>>>I assume you meant, body size. It is cold out, after all. another reason to wrap it up.
 butheremails
Joined: 11/1/2017
Msg: 15
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 10:28:32 AM

What would you do? Would that be a deal-breaker or would you meet them anyway?


Well if I had a statement on my profile that went something along of the lines of...

P.S. Factual statements made in this profile are true at the time of writing, as far as we can determine. (i.e. age, etc.) We expect the same of you. False or misleading statements, such as misrepresenting your age, are grounds for immediate dismissal.

I think the answer would be pretty simple, unless I had built my profile around a bunch of lies in an attempt to attract someone not smart enough to see them and if that is the case sounds like you two are a match.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 11:13:16 AM
I believe most that have a younger or older age on their profile do it so they can message people in the desired age range. I had a lady that was 53 with a profile that said 38 message me recently. With online dating, the percentage of crazy to non-crazy people is extremely high, so any red flags should be taken seriously.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 17
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 12:01:06 PM
^^^^I always figured people changed their ages to get within the age limits of people they are
interested in.
I get a lot of messages from men in their 70's....some in their 50's but not too many that are my
age.

I always think age is a number, until someone 75 messages me...then it freaks me out...I'm not
going to lie. I know I'm old, but I just don't see myself having much in common with someone
in their 75's.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 12:28:39 PM

If someone is lying about something so basic and fundamental at the beginning then just no.

Yeah, but they're not lying right to you -- they're fibbing in their profile. Sure, saying they're 35 when they're 55 is one thing (unless they actually DO look around 35, which would be 0.00001% of the population). That's a red flag. But a gal (or guy) who's really 42 but says they're 39 and looks 35-39? (shrug)

I'm more concerned with their pics not looking like them -- not a # thing (age is just a #; within reason) -- for the sake of getting honest chances. I can see saying you're 39 in a profile but really 42 and breaking it to them after talking a bit would slide your chances some. But they're letting you know out of the gates. People can say "UGH! Online has this crap going on," -- but what most people forget is this:

Online has Other Crap going on, that fuels both unjustified And justified fibbing on certain things in certain situations (when in reason; key) -- your Ad is an bulletin post to the masses, to get yays or nays for those to write or respond. And this "other crap" is that in this environment, too many people are overly-picky, much more than IRL when online. So it's understandable that people are going to "tweak" certain things -- exaggerating some of their activities like their life is more fun & fruitful like on a commercial, or they very well may be a size bigger than what they appear in their photos. There's a lot more to be concerned about people going overboard on that actually Does make a difference. :)

And why do people cut corners on certain things online? Because it does work, when in reason.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 19
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 12:35:34 PM
Speaking of cutting corners.
*takes away norwegian's a, e, i, o and u keys*
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 4:25:47 PM

Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?

No.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 21
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 4:36:20 PM

Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?



If her profile told me she was between 18 and 20, I'd take one for the Gipper.


(I didn't dare put any lower age in my answer for fear of being called a perv or sumttin)
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 22
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 4:50:40 PM
How would you know someone is lying-by 10 years-about their age, until you meet them, get to know the person, and find out the person's birthday? Some people may look 10 years older or younger than their actual age (and depending on what age range being discussed), so appearance alone won't necessarily tell you they are lying.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 5:15:32 PM
^^^ In the scenario the OP describes, the person told her he is ten years older than he claims to be in his profile.
 HikernBiker74
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 24
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 9:24:19 PM
Deal breaker: Most definitely!

Makes you wonder what else they're lying about or will lie about in the future.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?
Posted: 11/7/2017 9:42:20 PM
Most at some point have lied
about their age.
Not a deal breaker for me.
What's a deal breaker is pics
10 years old and passing them
off as recent.
Or
Say average body and been 300lbs.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Would you meet someone whose profile says they are 10 years younger than they actually are?