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 AUTHOR
 Camile2099
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1
POF as Car CatalogPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I think many men see singles sites like POF as a car catalog where they decide what make, model, year, color, and size they want and then look at the photos to order one up without any effort of their part. They don’t see POF as a big social gathering of equals where they need to sell themselves as well as being the consumer. Therefore they just send out a series of grunts like Hi, Hello, Hey There or Send Photo and don’t bother to converse about themselves or what they have to offer and expect women to start their engines without any effort on their part.
 Profile_Cliche_Gurl
Joined: 10/9/2017
Msg: 2
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/6/2017 10:47:02 AM
Okay. Women do the same stuff.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 3
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/6/2017 11:26:47 AM
Did you have a question for us, or is this just another rant?
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 4
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History
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/6/2017 1:21:28 PM

They don’t see POF as a big social gathering of equals where they need to sell themselves as well as being the consumer.

POF is not a big social gathering of equals, it is an online people catalog of unequals.
You fish in the catalog with good bait (you), and hope a tasty fish (them) runs into your hook.
If the fish are only nibbling and spitting it out, that is not the fishes' fault.
As a matter of fact, it's better than getting caught and thrown back.
Cheers
9
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 5
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POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/6/2017 2:54:55 PM
Selling yourself takes a lot of time and effort. In many cases, a great deal of wasted effort.

Four years ago, I decided to skip the message cycle. It was just a huge waste of my time. Then I started to pay attention to what was out there in real life. It didn't take long to figure out that women were just as bad in real life. They beat around the bush, won't show a lick of interest, but expect a man to be a mind reader. I decided the heck with it. I'll put in as much effort into finding someone to date as they do-Which is none.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 6
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/6/2017 3:16:20 PM
"they just send out a series of grunts like Hi, Hello, Hey There or Send Photo and don’t bother to converse about themselves or what they have to offer and expect women to start their engines without any effort on their part."



Wow, guess what ?

Women do this very thing ALL THE TIME ....except for the grunting part .... I would hope
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 7
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/6/2017 5:55:28 PM
The "right pick-up truck" / The "perfect Harley" / THE lil'red sportster, never grunts,..............It purrs.
(The secret is to learn how to transform, "Hi, Hello, Hey there, into ...............Puuuuurrrrrrrrrr)
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 8
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/7/2017 6:42:49 AM
OP- Internet dating has slowly evolved into what it is today. Back in the mid eighties when I first used this site to actually date I had a lot of fun. I met people who were respectfully representing themselves, and their desires online. Their profiles were well written, thoughtful, and appealing. Over time I could see the degradation of written profiles, and the time it takes to respond. I see all this as an even bigger problem with our youth that are connected to technology like life support. What are their social skills going to be like in the future?

For example we had a large family gathering before Thanksgiving for the holiday season at a local restaurant. There were 150 of us, 87 of which I am related to. At the children' tables what did I see? A bunch of kids glued to their phones, so I went around and asked them all if they could turn them off for an hour. Needless to say I was shocked that they all flipped a lid along with a few of their parents. I made a craft and activities table for them all to interact with one another which began as an epic fail. I finally had the backing of one of the dad's that physically took everyone's phones and put them into a basket. They were coerced to actually play and interact out of lack of anything else to do.

OP- I see that basic same thing happening with dating today. Socializing online is easy, as many find the internet a place to connect. However interpersonal "live" connections are becoming more difficult because of it.
 Camile2099
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 9
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/7/2017 7:40:22 AM

Did you have a question for us, or is this just another rant?


Are you one of those long-timers who lives on the forums and tries to monitor who can post what? If you don't like a subject just move on.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 10
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/7/2017 10:42:12 AM

Are you one of those long-timers who lives on the forums and tries to monitor who can post what? If you don't like a subject just move on.


I simply disagree with you, which I'm entitled to do. I see no purpose in starting a thread with the intent of pitting the sexes against one another. Men and women both do the same thing. A dating site is a catalog of men AND women---everyone is free to select, or reject.

With such a bitter attitude, it's no surprise men are passing you by.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 11
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/7/2017 3:38:34 PM

Are you one of those long-timers who lives on the forums and tries to monitor who can post what? If you don't like a subject just move on.


If you have the arrogance to start a thread about those long timers, may I suggest you eliminate your ignorance and read the posting rules. There should be an actual question along with your little rant about those guys and cars.


Personally I like trucks.

So I don't get the comparison.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 12
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POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/7/2017 7:01:03 PM

whosmeow
OP- Internet dating has slowly evolved into what it is today. Back in the mid eighties when I first used this site to actually date I had a lot of fun.

“mid eighties” ?? Really?? Man, you gotta ease up on them drugs, I’m tellin’ ya for your own good.

Oh, wait, that was a woman. Whatever.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 13
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POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/7/2017 7:11:52 PM
Cant fix Grumpy
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 14
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POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/7/2017 7:20:19 PM

Women do the same stuff.


And they don't seem to be very good at it.

So many of them end up with a Yugo when they could have had a sporty Mustang.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 15
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/8/2017 2:00:56 PM
PlentyOfFish

Match Group div IAC Inc 2015
Internet
Founded
2003
Headquarters
Vancouver,
British Columbia, Canada


“mid eighties” ?? Really?? Man, you gotta ease up on them drugs, I’m tellin’ ya for your own good.


Times fun when you're havin' flies.............Oh wait...........Time flies .........and all that jazz! Pour another!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 16
hey, there's a nice mustang around here
Posted: 12/8/2017 9:09:29 PM
maaaan, I WISH dating here was like a car catalog (as I watch Mecum Auction on NBCSN). But both genders see online shopping as...online shopping. And if they have what other people are looking for...they sure can get away with that attitude. They can meet people they wouldn't meet in real life, esp. in a large city or otherwise populated area.

when we are an actual equal, we have to sell ourselves. the majority tends to only extend itself for potential partners out of their league.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 17
hey, there's a nice mustang around here
Posted: 12/9/2017 10:09:03 AM
First of all Camille....you're 72. It's not as easy as when we were younger.
I'm sure there are a lot of men that aren't vital and good communicaters on here ...as there are women.
It is not going to get any easier. I have noticed a shift from 10 years back. In interest from men and "me".
Could be my age or the "Thrill is Gone"....

Some have had bad marriages/breakups/deaths/been burnt and are jaded against relationships/women in general...but the urge is there to make up a profile and put little to no effort in...then complain.
How much effort do you put into finding a match for yourself?
Do you put up a current picture...NO
Do you sound inviting and warm...NO
Do you sound ****y...YES....

Have you read mens profiles and messaged them first or asked them out for a coffee/tea/drink?
Join some groups....if online dating isn't working for you.
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 18
hey, there's a nice mustang around here
Posted: 12/9/2017 4:18:14 PM
LOL~ I'm still the typo queen :)
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 19
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Thank-you :)
Posted: 12/9/2017 4:24:33 PM
I saw a profile of someone looking for their "soul mate" with blond hair. How many soul mates are out there for each person? One brunette, one blond, and one red head? I wouldn't have been so perplexed, except this person didn't spell it "sole" mate, which is a rarity in my region. Sorry, I'm rambling. I post, therefore I am.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 20
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POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/9/2017 5:13:21 PM

I think many men see singles sites like POF as a car catalog where they decide what make, model, year, color, and size they want and then look at the photos to order one up without any effort of their part.

That's how it is for everyone. That's kind of what the whole lure about singles sites. But you're not ordering one up -- you're competing with other people to possibly buy it (or take it for a test drive, or anything in-between). It'd be naive and foolish to believe women aren't much the same way. It's the construct of a matchmaking site.

They don’t see POF as a big social gathering of equals where they need to sell themselves as well as being the consumer.

Well, not of equals -- and it's not. Some can be a sports car that we have a fat chance of ever getting -- or a junker of a car that we wouldn't want given to us. That said, men do sell themselves and realize they're a consumer. Dunno where you get that idea. It's a sausage-fest. If anything, too many guys try to Over sell themselves to try and consume high-quality gals.

Therefore they just send out a series of grunts like Hi, Hello, Hey There

Women do pretty much the same thing. If you had a (fake) male profile, you'd quickly see it being the same way. Guys just don't complain about it, because they rarely get the 1st message, and anything's good. They also realize there's not a real problem with it -- it's just not the best marketing when you're likely not a "WOW" to the gal who's reading your profile. But there's fewer women on here than half the men. So gals don't have to try very hard. Nor should they -- nor should men -- when it's a 1st message that's Just Pinging the other anyway. But yes, a mere "Hey there," is coming up short. Should at least be a "Hey there, liked your profile. Having a good day?" Which really isn't much more, but has a more conversational tone to it.

But you can reply to it, if his profile seems attractive with a "Hey there yourself. What's up?" -- and if he just gives you a tidbit, ignore... if that opened up the gates for him to Actually chat, great. :)
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 21
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/10/2017 11:03:15 AM
There sure are a lot of tire-kickers here!

Like dey say in the car business, "There is a butt for every seat"!
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 22
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/10/2017 12:58:44 PM

Msg 19:
I saw a profile of someone looking for their "soul mate" with blond hair. How many soul mates are out there for each person? One brunette, one blond, and one red head?


I'm thinking along the same line when it comes to people claiming "love at first sight" with a total stranger. Is it possible to have at first sight multiple times? Can a person have love at first sight twice on Monday, 3 times on Tuesday, and so on?
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 23
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History
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/11/2017 12:56:31 AM
I can't begin to tell you how many times I've had to
tell prospective dates how they can turn their texting device
into a phone.You wouldn't by chance no anyone selling
a 1967 Lancia Fulvia HF would you?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 24
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/11/2017 6:37:46 AM
those who confuse "falling in love" with "falling in lust", can probably accomplish it often at first sight.

those who confuse "being in love with the emotions that come from being in love", with "being in love", probably can do so, as well.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 25
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 12/11/2017 8:05:12 AM
"those who confuse "falling in love" with "falling in lust", can probably accomplish it often at first sight."

Over the years, when talking to people about how they met their spouse-to-be, some women have said "As soon as I saw him, I knew right away that he's the man I'm going to marry"-even though they were total strangers who didn't know each other at the time. I guess whatever causes that instant "I found the one" hasn't crossed over into the cyber world.
I have never heard anyone say "As soon as I saw his profile picture, I knew he was the one that I'm going to marry."
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