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 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 1
Can say any thing nowPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I recall years ago that you had to be-careful and be polite what you say when you message any of the members here. Now no-one gives a crap. Anyone can be as nasty and rude as they like. I don't think anyone monitors or even cares anymore. Everything goes here now.
Hm, I wonder if that is good or bad.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 2
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Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/8/2017 2:26:00 AM
Good and bad....
Bantering can be healthy when
there is respect.
I myself are glad there is no more
MOD's for I have seen some dirty
play on some ppls parts who let
it go to their heads.
Saw whole threads disappear
because of one bad apple.
Seen parts of ppl hard work in
Poems and Quotes go bye bye.
To this day I can't start a thread
for a MOD worked their magic.
Damn I'm still pissed!
 zsuzsa62
Joined: 1/31/2016
Msg: 3
Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/8/2017 6:40:25 AM
"I recall years ago that you had to be-careful and be polite what you say when you message any of the members here."

I know eh...and some guys, they even talk about having "bonners" (and other impolite things). Geez. Us smart ones though, we know what they really mean.
(I'm just teasing.)
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 4
Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/8/2017 6:44:24 AM
I have a huge election right now.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 5
we can see clearly now, the reign is gone.
Posted: 12/8/2017 7:03:00 AM
unless one has a thin skin...its great. why? b/c you get to really know your fellow posters. No more code phrases or "dog whistles" to cover up prejudices, some people are proud to wave their flags. Those who like to play amateur psychiatrist, who guessed or wondered what another poster was really like in person...can now get a better idea (or, I guess, confirmation their guess was correct) b/c posters feel free to say what they really think.

But it hasn't been so good for the thin-skinned. Some people who enjoyed "Telling it like it is", have found that street runs in two directions. I used to say the "other matters" section was the back alley of the forum, where posters went to swing punches. Now the whole forum is MAD--mutually assured destruction.

There may be some people who are less likely to hold up a mirror to other posters, now that other posters are free to hold up a mirror for them to see their true selves in. but that's probably wistful thinking--human nature cannot be repealed.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 6
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we can see clearly now, the reign is gone.
Posted: 12/8/2017 9:37:52 AM

I have a huge election right now.


That's just fake news!

 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 7
we can see clearly now, the reign is gone.
Posted: 12/8/2017 2:47:31 PM
or a woman got royally screwed by it.

:)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 8
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Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/8/2017 2:51:05 PM
You're not the only one. I got locked out from posting new threads. Took me a bit of time to figure out that I was, since I hadn't posted my first one. I made a couple attempts, still a no-go. I figured I must have pissed off one of the grammar nazis, and took it upon themselves to ban me from starting any.

I just won't get mad about it. That would mean I lent them space in my head. They get to *ssholes all by themselves.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 9
Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/8/2017 6:47:15 PM

Everything goes here now


Bye bye, Op................or is it Bye bye bye?
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 10
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Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/10/2017 5:41:29 PM
Certain people had to be polite. Me for one. People would say nasty stuff and never get banned but the day I defended myself after an insult I got an 8 year ban. There's definitely a "teacher's pet" situation in here.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 11
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Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/11/2017 3:59:38 PM

People would say nasty stuff and never get banned but the day I defended myself after an insult I got an 8 year ban.

But wait -- it says you joined in 2005. Got deleted in 1997? :)
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 12
Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/12/2017 4:30:36 AM


That's just fake news!


Need I remind you that you are not too young for me to turn you over my knee?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 13
Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/12/2017 5:21:29 AM


But wait -- it says you joined in 2005. Got deleted in 1997? :)


Back then, you could be banned from the forums but not necessarily lose your profile.

 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 14
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Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/13/2017 5:49:40 PM
I remember the banning that went on with Miss Alison who could not spell "cat" and must have been a high school student.
You did not have right of reply and she would block you for years to come. I prefer it the way it is now. A free for all.
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 15
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Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/13/2017 6:29:25 PM

Need I remind you that you are not too young for me to turn you over my knee?

Sounds like the birthday special
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 16
Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/14/2017 11:24:58 AM
The one injustice in the poetry forum Cyn speaks of was plain dirty. Years of personal history in writes gone in an instant. The ganging up on posters not liked by the forum "posse" was something else. I had many pages of one of my threads go poof, but that was nothing in comparison.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 17
Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/14/2017 11:28:05 AM
Yeah the ol TallIQ2 carnage that took place here a few years ago

I wonder what ever happened to that strange dude ?
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 18
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Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/14/2017 5:51:17 PM
In real life, an anything-goes anarchy is pretty crappy. Online, it can be awesome. About a week ago I called some whiny crybaby just that because he only gets a small percent of replies. And even crunched all the numbers to arrive at a bunch of worthless stats. And calling him out felt good. I've had insults hurled at me here, so go ahead and pass them on like a digital game of hot potato.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 19
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Can say any thing now but should you?
Posted: 12/15/2017 5:14:40 AM
I do believe that the mods often erred in their decisions. It was clear when they played favorites and it was clear when they took a personal dislike to someone. The mods didn't even attempt to have the appearance of impartiality. They were pretty transparent in their feelings about individuals. I had interaction outside the forums with a couple of the mods. One was innocuous and the other took it to a place that caused me to message Markus and block the mod.

There were many deleted threads, comments, and profiles over the years. Many times a thread was rendered worthless because so many comments were deleted that it no longer had any flow or made sense. It was clear when a mod gutted these threads due to personal reasons. It was a shame that what was often regular discourse for a forum such as these was deleted because of personal feelings (or favors).

Anyone who has been around for a long time ('06 for me) remembers when the link to the forums was on the blue banner across the top of the dating side page and your last five forum posts were listed at the bottom of your profile. Obviously the forums were more active back then with an influx of new posters and lurkers. I was around for the mass deletions. I received many a message from "one side" or the "other side" asking me to report profiles. I never did. I do see these same posters still around and yes, it does color my perception of them knowing that they are adults who formed groups to delete people they did not agree with.

I do believe that all in all the forums are better without moderators. Is this because we don't need them or because the former moderators were unable to act as neutral? I see a few posters take advantage of there being no mods. They regularly violate


CIVILITY: No Insults or baiting others into an exchange of insults. Condescension, derision, rudeness will not be tolerated and neither will personal libelous/defamatory characterizations - period. This forum was designed as a place to exchange and promote intelligent conversation, not as your personal medium to entice people into a meaningless exchange of hatred against one another. If this is your intent, then you will lose your privileges to participate.

Important One discusses the subject matter, not the poster's character.

and a few other rules. Of course as there are no longer mods there is no one to stop a poster from violating any of the rules. Except us. The ever present members. We can choose to ignore people who behave in an uncivil manner. We can tell them their behavior is vile by ignoring them. Most of the time these people crave a reaction. They need feedback. They are like a toddler who is ignored. Any attention is welcomed even if it is because they said horrible things to/about another. There will always be another poster who is also desperate for attention and will "side" with them. The original violator of the rule knows this. After all misery does love company.

So yes, it would seem that you can say anything now but should you?

As my grandmother used to say "Pretty is as pretty does". I try to keep that in mind when I want to take to the keyboard after I see a particularly uncivil post. She also used to say "consider the source" and that is the one that usually stops me from responding. I know that my words won't make a difference to the source.

*passes my soapbox to the next person*
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 20
Can say any thing now but should you?
Posted: 12/15/2017 5:38:18 AM
Does anyone remember when Abelian and Moose Allison had it out on the forums, and it resulted in the forums disappearing for a while? I was the root of that. Abelian saw just how much she was f*cking with me. He finally had enough, and ripped her a new ass. After that, he deleted himself, giving up the mod position.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 21
Can say any thing now but should you?
Posted: 12/15/2017 7:56:56 AM
"we can tell them, their behavior is vile, by ignoring them"

>>>apparently, another way to do it without getting deleted, is don't attack their character or call them names. just refute what they proclaim, with actual facts. For all I know, I avoided the mod squad b/c back then by sticking to just the post, rather than the poster.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 22
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Can say any thing now but should you?
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:01:48 AM
Oops, while I was writing my post in Winword, GTO snuck in an intervening post. My writings below are in response to message 20 from TPOYD.

^^^ It was a little more complex than that. The forums “disappeared for a while” after Abelian had deleted his profile. It seems that the idiot software that drives the forums grants you “moderator” privileges based only on your “name”, not on your guaranteed unique user number. And trust me, you do have a number, the site could not run without using numbers.

After abelian deleted his profile, someone who knew how this worked, and had a grudge, created a new profile, and named himself “abelian”. Bingo, just like that, he had moderator privileges on the forums. This person (and I’ve never heard who it actually was) wreaked havoc, so badly they had to take down the forums for several days and attempt to rebuild.

Actually, it was a little worse than that. Cowboy, who was a former moderator and knew how the system worked, created a profile under the name “abelian” as soon as he saw that the real abelian had deleted his profile. He did this to try and prevent the mayhem that did eventually occur. After creating this fake abelian, Cowboy attempted to notify the powers that be of what he had done, and what they needed to do to prevent mayhem.

By that time, outside of the real system administrators, there was one and only one forums moderator, the woman who runs the events forum. She told Cowboy that he was in violation of the rules for having two profiles, and to delete his second profile immediately.

If you do a google search, you can find interviews with Markus wherein he brags about how cheap this place is to run (not the forums, the dating side). He gets by with a ridiculously small number of servers, and almost no manpower. And it shows. Boy does it show.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 23
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Can say any thing now but should you?
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:14:55 AM
^^^^
Yes and there are still plenty of signs of the havoc that went on when there was a "fake mod". Just go to the s3x forums and notice how the Alabama rules still sit on top. At one time all of the rules were either deleted or replaced. Here and there you will notice signs of the carnage if you know what to look for.

> GTO

I didn't call people out either at least not on the forums (save one exception which I will note below). I got deleted after I did the bikini photo with the red flag cliche profile. It was good fun while it lasted though. I don't know if I pissed off more men or more women with that one but it did get a profile that was almost a decade old deleted. *shrug*

The one time I broke all rules was when Rogue Vamp... was around. He doxxed more than one poster and went after people hard. He went to their social media and tried to play tough guy. He was also completely and totally full of sh!t. I didn't dox him in the forums but I did mention that my inbox had no restrictions and that I would be happy to share what I knew. I did share and all hell broke loose. He could dish it out but he couldn't take it. I am pretty sure that all of those threads/comments have been deleted. There were hundreds.
 magicstillaroundme
Joined: 10/2/2017
Msg: 24
Can say any thing now but should you?
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:33:50 AM
It's hard to tell. I suppose it comes down to individual users. A friend of mine of many years Blonde Angel gets banned the moment she appears. It doesn't matter what she says. She is gone at her first post.

Last time, I was banned by alebian for calling a girl fat. I never swore but did post some unpopular things. We'll see how long I last this time.

Lots of people have a potty mouth these days. They don't seem to be in jeopardy.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 25
Can say any thing now but should you?
Posted: 12/15/2017 10:12:35 AM
sorry. spot, I wasn't trying to insinuate you got the boot for being rude. if I don't type fast enough, these past few weeks, my post gets lost along with the page its on. so I threw up a quote, so that people might understand where I was going. You are likely correct, it may very well have been the photo that got you the boot. There is more than one way to get it.

but personally, I've seen posters go, "hey, wtf, why did I get booted out?" and I thought, "apparently you didn't realize how personal you were getting in your last few posts?" of course, its a habit a bunch of us do in real life, as well. Someone says something, and we think the comment is so stupid, that they have to be stupid as well. and we get angered by their stupidity enough to question their intelligence out loud.

I guess we mostly agree, we went in here from, "There are rules, but they aren't followed fairly" to, "There are no rules to follow". The latter seems to strike most of us as more fair, but in comparison. To someone lacking scars from the old days, having no rules probably doesn't seem fair.
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