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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Guy slept with me then blocked me?      Home login  
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 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 1
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?Page 1 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
So pretty much I was talking to this guy for 9 months basically on and off andb when we finally met the date was good and we slept together but then he pretty much ignored me and went cold after then blocked me about 5 days after (on the day of my cruise). I did not know till I got back from my trip and saw he had blocked me. At first I thought he was just tired (that was his excuse) but he was brushing off anything I said, like flirting and basically everything.

I honestly couldn't figure out why. I asked him if he still liked me when he started being more quiet but he never said no or anything. I don't get it.
Was this his plan, to just use me and ditch me? Kinda seems like it.
Feeling really hurt now after this.

He kept saying 'no labels' and he didn't want to 'repeat history', but wouldn't explain really what that meant.
I think I just got played :/

It's hard for me now to be so enthusiastic about meeting someone new after this. Guys just seem so fake now. Had enough of being used, this is the second time.
I'm going to wear a chasity belt from now on in future dates. Ugh
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 3:19:18 AM
Nine months before meeting? That is nuts.

Sounds like you were a willing participant in the evening from beginning to end.

He said no labels. That means not dating, not a girlfriend, not a fb, not a fwb, etc. Sounds like he was crystal clear. You made the decision to meet him and sleep with him. He did not use you. You just didn't listen to him. Next time listen to what someone is telling you.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 3
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 4:04:47 AM
No he said we went on a 'date' and referred to it as a date before and after.

After we slept together, it was then he was saying 'no labels', then same thing when I asked him about it later online.
This is after acting like he cares about me online and actually gives a crap about me.

Was like after he got what he wanted he was telling me by the way you don't mean anything to me really.
The heck does no labels even mean?

So dishonest, he should of been saying 'no labels' BEFORE the sex, see what I mean?

He probably didn't ever even want anything serious but knew he had no chance of sex if he was honest.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 4
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 6:20:06 AM

It's hard for me now to be so enthusiastic about meeting someone new after this. Guys just seem so fake now. Had enough of being used, this is the second time.
I'm going to wear a chasity belt from now on in future dates. Ugh


Only because it's the season it is, I will be gentle here.

OP, please REREAD your own words.

"this is the second time"

Every hear, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." ???????? We should all learn from our past experiences, which includes the good, the bad, the ugly. You should know by now, that "guys" your age are still learning and discovering too. With that, they really don't have a clue or care about much in the future. Remember when I say this, I once was one of those "guys".

You are allowed to make choices, and with those choices comes the responsibility. The responsibility to own the result or outcome of those choices. You don't have to beat yourself up about it, just learn from it. It will also be a little more positive if you quit pointing your finger at others. Use the mirror. It works but, only if you want.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 5
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 7:18:41 AM
Thank you.

I think I'm getting to a point where I'm past the stage now of trying to figure out what I could of possibly done wrong to of caused this. I spent ages going over it in my head.

Just think he was not interested but wanted the sex then to leave, which obviously sucks for me as I didn't know and since he had been talking for so long I trusted him and didn't expect him to just do something like that.
I thought he would be more honest and decent with me and at-least say he doesn't want to see me and is not interested.
I guess you never expect people to treat you so poorly like that huh.

So I'm thinking in the future I will wear a chasity belt on dates, which would stop this kind of thing from happening in the future.They always want to have sex and do sexual stuff when I am apparently 'nothing' to them, I guess it is just a 'normal' thing for guys to do but I think if I am nothing aka 'no labels' to you, I don't want to be having sex and be being touched by you. Problem is they usually just do it, so the belt would protect from that.
My male friend says guys will stop dating me if they find out I'm wearing one though, is that true?
if it is, why is that?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 6
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 7:25:55 AM
^^^

If you were my daughter, I would be giving you a good cuff to the side of the head right about now.


After saying this.....


So I'm thinking in the future I will wear a chasity belt on dates, which would stop this kind of thing from happening in the future.They always want to have sex and do sexual stuff when I am apparently 'nothing' to them, I guess it is just a 'normal' thing for guys to do but I think if I am nothing aka 'no labels' to you, I don't want to be having sex and be being touched by you. Problem is they usually just do it, so the belt would protect from that.
My male friend says guys will stop dating me if they find out I'm wearing one though, is that true?
if it is, why is that?


it has been exposed that you are not ready to be doing any kind of "dating" for awhile now. It's time to look in the mirror and figure a few things about you and your own body.

That's it for my Daddy advice, cause nothing will help until you start helping yourself.


And people are all freaked out about Pink and her label less household????? Those naysayers can take a look at this thread about the results of certain types of parenting.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 7
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 7:30:43 AM
Walts, the naysayers are closed minded doorknobs who I wouldn't doubt were residents of Salem in past lives
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 8
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 7:36:37 AM
Is the OP really 25 as her profile says-or is she actually about 15? It sounds more like teenage stupidity. Who else would keep a texting relationship go on for 9 months before meeting in person? Was the decision (a decision YOU made) to sleep with him after the first meet an attempt to snag/trap him into a relationship? If you try to force or trick someone into a "relationship" immediately, that rarely works out. Try a different strategy if you're ever in a similar situation: Cut out the never ending texting crap, and meet in person after one or two messages. If the other person is making excuses why they can't meet soon, end all contact and move on.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 9
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 7:47:23 AM

it has been exposed that you are not ready to be doing any kind of "dating" for awhile now. It's time to look in the mirror and figure a few things about you and your own body.

I don't know what that means :/


Was the decision (a decision YOU made) to sleep with him after the first meet an attempt to snag/trap him into a relationship? If you try to force or trick someone into a "relationship" immediately, that rarely works out.

It wasn't, he just went really weird in the days after. Also was going kinda weird leading up to it. Once we had the date secured he hardly talked. I wanted to call it off actually but didn't because I was stupid and liked him and knew if I did it would ruin all my chances probably. Like you can only say no so many times.
He wanted to meet me sooner but I wasn't sure about him because he just didn't talk that much and I thought it was weird, like is he even interested at all? can't make enough time to actually talk?
Thought he was the type that had to meet in person before they invested much time really chatting online and stuff.
I was wrong though.
That is why I think, well another reason why I think he was just wanting to sleep with me, like 1NS or something. Unsure.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 10
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 8:12:07 AM
K...I may get lambasted for what I am about to say to you...If you are being honest about your experience and age..
For 25 you seem very naive about guys and life in general.
I was married with 2 kids by your age...not that I am promoting that either..:)

In my opinion...most if not all guys ultimate goal is to have "sex"....they will not tell you that.
It's just a given.
Even men in their 60's-70's...I know Gross...eh.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing....it's enjoyable...so why not?
Some consider themselves "players/desperate" and will have sex with anyone...some want to be in "love"....some have some finesse...on and on.
As someone also said....YOU made the choice to participate....so it's not HIS fault alone.

Chalk it up as an experience and move on.

Chastity Belt? Do they even make those anymore...lol.
That would be a great gag gift for someone I know....she goes to bed with everyone...then complains.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 11
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 8:48:45 AM
OP,
there are men who categorize women. They have their "upper echelon women" (who "deserve" proper treatment) and "Chipotle and netflix level" (with whom all bets are off). There is lots of dating advice out there on how to impress such a man into moving you into the upper echelon women category. I avoid men with this thinking altogether. A man to hold on to is one who respects women period, and is a good person overall. Yes, we have to wait for sex. If the connection is to continue, the man will have to find other ways to impress you and keep you interested than in the bedroom. Some will do so, and some will leave - good riddance.
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 12
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 10:29:54 AM

Was this his plan, to just use me and ditch me? Kinda seems like it.
Feeling really hurt now after this.


Sienna, you're fine, and I agree with the comments about waiting so long being an obvious flaw here. You developed an emotional intimacy via text, and he simply was not feeling it the way you did - and you recognized that by describing it as "weird". There is no need to stereotype guys about "the type that isn't into investing too much into chat before meeting".

Your average commentator has been 50 years old here, and been around the block a few times here, and though we give good advise, there is something to be said about being a young adult, growing and experimenting. You were not "used for sex", and you never stated why he was dishonest. It just looks like a normal rejection to me. You are a very pretty girl, and that is enough to excite a guy into wanting you physically. Getting physical is not a bargaining chip, and as a psych (grad??) student, I'm sure you know this, and I'm sure your putting a picture of you lazing on your bed caressing your cat is is a male stimulus you completely get. Doing stuff on the first date is so common nowadays, it is well within the norm and even a screening tool for many.

What if you had rejected him afterwards? You'd find a way to justify yourself, maybe in a way he didn't understand. Some other good advice above, was learn more about your own feelings and don't do things you don't want to do. Your thinking is the fallacy of the excluded middle, either on the first date or an iron chastity belt.

Next time if the sour taste of rejection ruins the past for you, all you have to do is develop a real relationship first, and stop relying on text for something real. Just because people do things your age, doesn't mean you are obligated to do them.

 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 13
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 10:50:30 AM
siennarh, Do you realllllyyyy want to go thru alllll the same questions we answered for you before?
 CrazyCatLadyLookin
Joined: 9/21/2012
Msg: 14
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 11:30:37 AM
Oh...Amazon really DOES have everything!

https://www.amazon.com/Metal-Chastity-Belt-Lock-Key/dp/B0026A1TIY
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 15
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 12:27:53 PM
Or should we call you............
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014

Broken Hearts

Was my ex using me/a jerk or misunderstood?
Posted: 2/15/2015 7:05:04 AM
   
So he is 26, I met him on here, ...............
Pretty much he rushed me to meet him, even though I said I was uncomfortable. He said it would be 'too late' if I waited a few weeks (aka gave me an ultimatum that if I didn't see him when he wanted he would go).
Rushed things to be sexual on the first date, and planned for them to be sexual in the future.
Rushed me into a relationship, even though I said I didn't want to I ended up giving it a chance (even though I told him I wanted to wait). .........................


Then when he finds out I don't actually intend on having sex (which I obviously didn't durrr) he gets all whiny and entitled then blocks me!!!.....................................................................................


The above copied from the Forums. History repeated.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 16
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 1:06:20 PM
While I didn't read the entire post.....the "no labels" terminology jumped at me......

what this means is yet ANOTHER variation of One Night Stand/No Strings Attached Sex, or even Friends with Benefits........is in the offering.

One thing I learned out here.....is if a man tells you he wants "no labels" or NSA/FB/FWB and you DON'T want that......run like hell.......

If a man tells you he doesn't want a relationship or "casual/nothing serious"....believe him.

If he truly isn't what you are looking for.......run......don't walk away......RUN!

And for your own sake and sanity......don't hop into the sack with someone unless you are in a committed situation.........

If it is on/off again.....forget it.....it isn't worth your time. I've seen that many times out here and that type of stuff is unstable, unhealthy, has LOADS of drama and can erode your self esteem/worth.

If I ever hear a man tell me "needs to take a walk" or "needs space".......I let him take the longest walk and give him all the space he needs......permanently.

and I dare say.....you might want to take the advice of Walts to heart on this one.......Thanks Walts for your posts on here.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 17
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 5:31:55 PM

So pretty much I was talking to this guy for 9 months basically on and off andb when we finally met the date was good and we slept together but then he pretty much ignored me and went cold after then blocked me about 5 days after

You shouldn't put too much stock in talking with someone for 9 months. Definitely don't wait it out for 9 weeks let alone 9 months before meeting. Playing the Pen-Pal GAME is silly (unless they live Far Far Away; even then, don't aim for a relationship; LD relationships basically don't work).

After we slept together, it was then he was saying 'no labels', then same thing when I asked him about it later online.

Yeah, you only met once, and you were probably clingy or giving off the vibes you Could be, so he was letting it be known for that. There shouldn't be any labels after just a measly date. You're more than platonic. That's it.

This is after acting like he cares about me online and actually gives a crap about me.

If he was wanting to chat with you for 9 months -- he did, but meeting you in person was probably disappointing for him to a certain extent. He didn't want it to go into dream land. Neither would you, if the roles were reversed....

The heck does no labels even mean? So dishonest, he should of been saying 'no labels' BEFORE the sex, see what I mean?

Wait, if you don't know what it means -- why are you saying he should have said it before sex, not after?

"He should have said 'no maricorpkus' before sex, not after!" "What's maricorpkus mean?" "I dunno! But he should have said it before sex!" :)

I think you know what no-labels mean. You say that to a gal (or guy) after a 1st date when they're Way Too Clingy. By default, there shouldn't be. But if you talked for a long time, and they're seemingly clingy -- you just want to put things in perspective.

I think he wouldn't have Blocked you or anything unless you were being too tenacious -- expecting that because you had sex, that means you're "his girl". It doesn't. See, if you spent All That Time chatting for 9 months, finally meet, have a date that seemed to go OK, he invited you over but you said not on a 1st date -- and he seemed to lose interest, you'd think it was because you Wouldn't have sex. Lose lose situation. It's not about that. It's that he wasn't that into you, and you really liked him.... and your clinginess scared him off. Maybe he was a little "ehh" when meeting you, but with some drinks he felt OK about it, rolled with it, had fun, you two porked ("condoms are for sailors, baby!"), and your clinginess seemed to crank up after sex, and he said what he said.. and you being WTH, ya scared him off.

Either way, you wouldn't be Happy about it. At the end of the day, you'd still be extremely frustrated, even if he told you mid-way thru the date in convo that he doesn't jump into going steady until he really gets to know someone in person.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 18
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/9/2017 7:34:44 PM
Bottom Line: You don't get a prize, an award, a relationship, or even a guaranteed "thank you" for screwing a guy.

If you want all those other things, better get them FIRST. Not "promises". Get the stuff before you give it away. In today's world, it means you will probably be lonely a long time. You must decide - is it better to be alone or to take random chances with one-night-stands?

Those will be your choices until you learn to communicate and negotiate better.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 19
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 12:46:53 AM
He's either a player (not into any one woman) or he decided after the date he was not into you. Either way, he just was not into you at some point.

Until they fall in love with you, which can take a couple of months of dating - you have no hook so it's easier for them to leave you. Try to wait longer to have sex next time....that can weed out most of the guys who are not serious.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 20
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 6:35:01 AM
^^" Try to wait longer to have sex next time....that can weed out most of the guys who are not serious."

I don't agree with using sex as some kind of reward in exchange for something more serious. Maybe she wanted sex as much as the guy. If two adults agree to have sex, whether it's the first date or the hundredth date, that's their prerogative. Too many people view a woman as a victim if she has sex and it doesn't turn into wedding bells right after. The only thing I see wrong with the whole situation is being pen pals for nine months before deciding to meet in person.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 21
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 8:17:01 AM
I guess I found out the hard way what kind of person he is.

Yeah you're right I think I should definitely not sleep with them in the future. Wow it was a bad idea.
Like I don't even know for sure that that wasn't the reason why he stopped talking. Maybe he felt like it all went too fast and it freaked him out.

If I knew what kind of person he is and how he would treat me in the future I obviously wouldn't of slept with him.

Issue with guys is they want to sleep with you and act like it is essential but at same time say they don't really know you and you don't really mean much to them (maybe they're dating other) etc, doesn't make sense to me.
Like if you don't think I'm anything to you and you're gonna be cold and weird like that, then I don't want to sleep with you.
No labels = no sex. I should say. Like oh I am no labels etc huh ok well I don't feel comfortable sleeping with you with No labels haha. Gosh
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 22
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 1:29:25 PM
"No labels = no sex. I should say."
Good approach... a normal man will respect that... like any normal person will respect someone else's healthy boundaries.
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 23
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 1:52:59 PM
OP, there's no way to know for sure what a guy thinks of you. It is possible that his interest is there at first but this can change. People change their mind all the time. Long term couples break up, even those who're married might fall out of love.

I agree that holding out having sex for no reasons or as a way to reward/punish a guy isn't quite the right approach. But waiting to have sex until you know the guy and his intention better is the right thing to do. There's no hard and fast rule when is best to have sex. Everyone does it differently. We've heard of couples who had sex on their first date and later lived happily together for years and years.

If he doesn't want the same thing you do, walk away, don't wish for anything different. It's not gonna happen. If a guy says he doesn't want a relationship with you, believe him the first time. Men aren't wired the same way we are, I'm afraid. Most will want sex regardless of their plan (or lack of) to continue to date you.

Once you've been intimated, let it go. Don't think about it or expect anything:labels, commitment etc.

Forget about this guy. Move on. He might need some space. If he likes you, he'll come back. Then it'll be up to you whether you're gonna give him another chance.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 24
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 2:04:06 PM
^^^^

and it's amazing how they come back when their options and prospects have run dry, they are bored, lonely, and just want to get laid.......

OR the Holidays are coming up.....and oh golly gee.....the office "Holiday Party" is coming up and they don't have a date......

Just this past week I had 3 exes leave me voicemails and texts asking me to call them to "get together to catch up over lunch/coffee".

My answer......I haven't and won't even give them the time of day. What for??? What's done is done......

Never, EVER give someone the chance to disappoint you again.....for if you do.....they will. - One of the best pieces of advice I've been given out here in the dating cesspool.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 25
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 2:11:01 PM
OP, did this guy at least offer to buy you breakfast at Waffle House the next morning?
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