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 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 1
Blue-balls Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Were you aware that quite a few, lets say, "worldly" women do not believe that blue-balls is a real thing?

I've done a wee survey on pof a while ago and I've come across a few such ladies who claim that blue-balls is just an excuse or a ploy men use to get into their panties by appealing to their overly sensitive/merciful/humane nature. That made me wonder: are women these days a little too cynic about men and our nature? Why should that be the case in you view?

Despite the empowering of the human female and the shunning of the traditional moral values, my impression is that gettin some cat has never been this hard (shrugs)
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 2
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 7:41:23 AM

Were you aware that quite a few, lets say, "worldly" women do not believe that blue-balls is a real thing?


I had to google. So glad I did though, every day is a school day


I've done a wee survey on pof a while ago and I've come across a few such ladies who claim that blue-balls is just an excuse or a ploy men use to get into their panties by appealing to their overly sensitive/merciful/humane nature. That made me wonder: are women these days a little too cynic about men and our nature? Why should that be the case in you view?


Except it's caused when a man doesn't ejaculate, is that right? So what is the problem with a man having a wank and then ejaculating?


Despite the empowering of the human female and the shunning of the traditional moral values, my impression is that gettin some cat has never been this hard (shrugs)


Get. The. Violins. Oot.
 rekirked
Joined: 11/7/2017
Msg: 3
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Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 7:41:42 AM
Are you saying empowered women lack morals because they won’t let you fvck them just to relieve your alleged blueballia?

Selfish lezzers.
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 4
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 7:44:47 AM

Are you saying empowered women lack morals because they won’t let you **** them just to relieve your alleged blueballia?

Selfish lezzers.



Buster Gonad is the name of a cartoon character in the British comic Viz. It involves the surreal adventures of "the boy with unfeasibly large testicles". During a storm, Buster's gonads were zapped by cosmic rays which enlarged them to an enormous size. Buster's gonads are so large, that he needs a wheelbarrow to carry them around.[1] As a result, they are impossible to conceal and are therefore out on open display for everyone to see and marvel at.

The plot-lines vary, but are always bizarre, revolving around Buster's outstanding physical attributes being a blessing or a curse. For example, in one episode Buster climbs a tree whereupon some children standing below mistake his hairy scrotum for giant horse chestnuts, deciding to pelt it with sticks and stones in order to knock it down so they can play conkers. Moments later, a passing farmer attempts to help the children by blasting the "horse chestnuts" with his double-barrelled shotgun. Finally, an endangered species of bird decides to build a nest on Buster's scrotum and lays eggs in it. It is illegal to disturb the rare bird's nest, so poor Buster is forced to stay up the tree for the next few weeks until the eggs hatch and the fledglings have left the nest.


Is there a reason why you said cat instead of pussy? Have you gone all PC on us?
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 5
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Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:02:52 AM
As long as they are glittery they’ll look great on your Christmas tree x
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 6
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:07:57 AM

As long as they are glittery they’ll look great on your Christmas tree x<


Do you not feel sorry for the wee soul and his poor wee (or big) blue balls?

It's so cold in Scotland just now Paul I'd be very surprised if your balls weren't permanently blue just now anyway.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 7
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Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:18:39 AM
C’mon we know they’re wee, everything shrinks with the cold :)
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 8
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:24:17 AM

C’mon we know they’re wee, everything shrinks with the cold :)


Everything?

Surely not?
 rekirked
Joined: 11/7/2017
Msg: 9
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Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:32:34 AM
*turns heating up*
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 10
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:48:20 AM

The obvious answer: orgasm. But we’re betting that if that were possible, you wouldn’t be reading this. Since blue balls is caused by increased blood pressure and a lack of blood flow, the most effective treatments are those that increase blood flow and lowers blood pressure. Here are a few simple treatments that can alleviate blue balls:

Exercise: Get in some cardio and get your blood flowing away from your balls.
A cold compress: The cold compress mimics nonadrenaline (the hormone released after orgasm that relieves blue balls). It constricts the blood vessels, limiting any additional blood flow to the genitals.
Lift a heavy object: It may seem bizarre but a new study shows that lifting a heavy object can actually cause something called the Valsalva Maneuver. The Valsalva Maneuver is essentially that feeling in your lower abdominal muscles when you lift weights, and performing it causes a change in blood pressure, relieving some of the blood pressure in your genitals.
Time: We know. Waiting sucks. But blue balls will typically go away in about an hour, without causing any damage to the family jewels.


Goes away in around an hour!

Never told us that when he started the thread.

I thought you'd been suffering for weeks lad :)
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 11
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:51:17 AM
Sorry for digressing (not like me)

But has anyone tried blue bols?

https://www.thedrinkshop.com/item/331/bols-blue?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgrH4tLyM2AIVq7_tCh1ZFwMNEAQYASABEgLAx_D_BwE

See if you have a voddy, peach schnapps, blue bols and orange juice (not had one in around 30 years or so)

Cant even remember the name of the drink, the drink is a very odd shade of green.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 12
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Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:52:07 AM
^^^lol I know! And he called me a princess ;)

Kirky.......keep that heating on.....I need to borrow your penis.....it’s for science I swear!


 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 13
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:53:53 AM

^^^lol I know! And he called me a princess ;)

Kirky.......keep that heating on.....I need to borrow your penis.....it’s for science I swear!


LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats the best chat up line in the universe (not that Im suggesting you are chatting kirk up), why didn't I think of that years ago!

Paul is going to kill us when he gets back on here.
 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 14
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 8:56:03 AM
Violins aye paulette!? Aye it apparently happens if you don't ejaculate. You did get that right. (-_-)

Kirk, pal, you should be on my side. I thought I could explain myself to you ... a shoulder to cry on aye? (¬_¬)

-Rox
LMAO!

PS: I'm watchin, paulette... I always am.
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 15
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 9:01:36 AM

Violins aye paulette!? Aye it apparently happens if you don't ejaculate. You did get that right. (-_-)


I can't type, I am laughing so much, seriously. Apparently! You mean you've never suffered from it yourself?


Kirk, pal, you should be on my side. I thought I could explain myself to you ... a shoulder to cry on aye? (¬_¬)


He's not though!

-Rox
LMAO!


PS: I'm watchin, paulette... I always am.


I know this lad x
 rekirked
Joined: 11/7/2017
Msg: 16
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Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 9:03:24 AM

Kirky.......keep that heating on.....I need to borrow your penis.....it’s for science I swear!


Have you been shopping on Amazon?
 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 17
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 9:04:24 AM
^^
Is your c0ck on auction or something? (scratches head)

-Paulette

Well, you know, I do. Not being a tosser, I tend to suffer from blue balls often. That is why women should help. I cannae help but not being a tosser. Then again, that is how nature designed it to work after all aye? Why should a dude have a wank when there's 4 billion women in the world with at least a billion of them decent looking?
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 18
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 9:06:29 AM

I’ve been a bit grumpy in work because of this stupid secret Santa.
What to buy for someone you hardly know.
Then pure chance someone mentioned Star Wars and I immediately thought of the big black dildo.......so I’ve ordered one online


This is what Rox posted elsewhere on the boards

I think Kirks Xmas dinner is going to be the least of his worries v shortly.

LMAO
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 19
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 9:17:39 AM


Well, you know, I do. Not being a tosser, I tend to suffer from blue balls often. That is why women should help. I cannae help but not being a tosser. Then again, that is how nature designed it to work after all aye? Why should a dude have a wank when there's 4 billion women in the world with at least a billion of them decent looking?


Trying to tell me you don't wank lad?

Why am I not sure you are telling me the exact truth on that one x
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 20
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 10:42:34 AM
........And now, a word from our sponsor -

Max Factor knacker lacquer adds lustre to your cluster -
-get some TODAY !

 scareymush
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 21
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/15/2017 4:30:02 PM
.....and perfection to your erection!

If this forum wasn't already suffering acute bromism I'd recommend an age old cure for the terrible affliction of prolonged sexual arousal.

Meanwhile, I know of at least one person who'd be willing to give the OP a pity fvck.

Clue: It ain't me!
 Paulineandsalem
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 22
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/16/2017 6:09:18 PM
Good luck with those blue balls lad. X

Pity shag? Maybe you want to retract that statement in the light of the view that you now think pauls profile us fake and he's not who he says he is

I don't shag people out of pity. Some people might but not me.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 23
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Blue-balls
Posted: 12/17/2017 8:17:26 AM
Now i can only post if i use so many words. Hence why the whole post below is quoted..........


"Were you aware that quite a few, lets say, "worldly" women do not believe that blue-balls is a real thing?

I've done a wee survey on pof a while ago and I've come across a few such ladies who claim that blue-balls is just an excuse or a ploy men use to get into their panties by appealing to their overly sensitive/merciful/humane nature. That made me wonder: are women these days a little too cynic about men and our nature? Why should that be the case in you view?

Despite the empowering of the human female and the shunning of the traditional moral values, my impression is that gettin some cat has never been this hard (shrugs)"


As for blue bols (yes the bottle of spirit/liquer thing that no one ever guzzles) did you know if you insert it into lager it turns it a nice shade of green?

And green chartreuse turns your lager blue.

Interesting that eh?
 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 24
Blue-balls
Posted: 12/17/2017 11:29:31 AM
^^
I wasn't aware of that actually. I rarely drink c0cktails. To be honest, although I'd drink anything, I do not really like alcohol except beer (any time of day) and good wines (with dinner). Even beer, I'd drink anything but I actually like lagers only. Usually, I'd drink stella. Your Innis & gunn is pretty good too. West is good too. I like that. Don't know.. maybe I just am not a drinker you know.

PS: Yes, there is a word-count limit on here. When you are told that you cannot post a comment, I/most people on here would copy and paste the message which appears i.e.:

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread. Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.


to beef it up
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 25
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Blue-balls
Posted: 12/17/2017 1:04:49 PM
10
"I wasn't aware of that actually. I rarely drink c0cktails. To be honest, although I'd drink anything, I do not really like alcohol except beer (any time of day) and good wines (with dinner). Even beer, I'd drink anything but I actually like lagers only. Usually, I'd drink stella. Your Innis & gunn is pretty good too. West is good too. I like that. Don't know.. maybe I just am not a drinker you know."

Well to be honest it's no a****ail it's to wind up supporters at the football who hate us original wearers of the green.

I'm a wreck the hoose juice man myself (stella) although i get bladdered quick on draught stella for some reason. We had a cracking Scottish red wine on friday night in the argentine steak hoose. Nearly £30 a bottle. Made up in aberdeen i think. Ill find oot fae ma mucker. Hes the red wine man.
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