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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > I have no idea what to do anymore.      Home login  
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 Transhumanistfuture
Joined: 8/21/2016
Msg: 1
I have no idea what to do anymore.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'm getting no messages at all, and it feels like I'm fishing in a stagnant pond. Everyone seems, to be inner city, uneducated, or just advertising their instagrams. What's the deal with all the "ask me" profiles?!
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 2
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/26/2017 10:29:02 PM
Use to be a sea
Then a pond
Now a puddle
Climate change

We all suffer this change...
Good news is we still have the forums.
They too have dried up but there's
still some hope yet lol
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 3
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/27/2017 12:48:28 AM

What's the deal with all the "ask me" profiles?!


Yet more evidence to support my claim profiles don't matter anymore. Go figure.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 4
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/27/2017 2:36:12 PM
Yeah - I've been trying the "swipe" apps, and I've had to accept that if I don't swipe on the pics with no text, I'm cutting out 60% of the dating database. Wow.

Seems the "new normal" is to swipe to accept the mininmal standards, hope for a "match", then re-examine the pics and any notes if they exist, then kill it all with a lame message, "Hi". Isn't that inspirational? Heh! What a world!

Dude - you are YOUNG! Swipe right on all the pics, when a gal matches, ask her out to coffee and sort it out there. Yes, you will have many terrible coffee-meets, but you will ALSO be meeting women FACE-TO-FACE, which is the entire point of dating. Some of these women will be much more interesting than their photos and you will be surprised how much you like them.

Give yourself a freakin' chance. Get out there, and date some women, so you can "ask them" in person! At the very least, you'll be in point-blank staring range of their boobs - and they can dump you for that. Just get out there, dude!~!
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 5
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/27/2017 4:38:04 PM

it feels like I'm fishing in a stagnant pond. .


It's the mercury poisoning.

Signs and symptoms of methylmercury poisoning may include:
Impairment of peripheral vision
Disturbances in sensations ("pins and needles" feelings)
Lack of coordination
Impairment of speech, hearing, walking
Muscle weakness

Elemental (metallic) mercury primarily causes health effects when it is breathed as a vapor where it can be absorbed through the lungs.
Signs and symptoms of acute elemental (metallic) mercury poisoning include:
Tremors
Emotional changes
Insomnia
Weakness
Muscle atrophy
Twitching
Headaches
Disturbances in sensations
Changes in nerve responses
Performance deficits on tests of cognitive function.


I have no idea what to do anymore.


Have a cookie.

It won't help you get more messages, but it tastes good.

(Unless it's sugar-free or fat-free....UGH!)
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 6
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/27/2017 5:59:54 PM
^ They are much better than whats "fishy"...
 Transhumanistfuture
Joined: 8/21/2016
Msg: 7
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/27/2017 7:29:44 PM
I've tried that route and I've been met with, I'd rather talk online for a while and get to know you rather than meet up, or it's too early to have human interaction.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 8
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/27/2017 11:29:12 PM
It's never too early to meet face-to-face. The reason YOU are on a site or use an app is to meet someone in person. Other people may have different reasons:
- Massage their ego, draw in fans for social media
- Tease, catfish, play games
- Explore the dating world because they are totally green at dating or decades out of action
- Look for penpals or simply people to obsess over and label their distant heart-throbs

You don't need to spend a moment with anyone who isn't on the path to meet face-to-face. Don't try to convince someone who says "NO" to a meeting. DELETE/BLOCK and move on. You don't need pretenders, or excuses, you need people who WANT to date. Only apply your efforts to people who move in that direction.

And - YES - your next complaint will be that your dates suck, or the people you are dating suck.
Understand this - you need to get into the world of dating first, you need practice, you need to learn the cues and build the confidence that you can DEFINITELY find someone else to date if the current date is lousy.

Get into the dating world. Learn the ropes. Hone your skills. Beyond that it's a either a game of numbers or luck. Very few people are able to simply pick and choose whomever they want like a box of chocolates.

Seriously - I've been out of action over 10 years, just came back, and I had a date this month. It's not impossible.

Don't say "I tried that" like you did it 2 or 3 times. You need to do it 100, 200, 300 times. That's what people mean when they say it's a game of numbers. How many times did you play a claw prize machine until you got something? Keep at it. When you fail, keep at it. When it sucks, keep at it.

When you score, you can rest.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 9
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/27/2017 11:52:08 PM


it's too early to have human interaction.


See, this is exactly what many of the old schooler forumites just aren't getting. No one wants to fiddle fart online for weeks and months playing penpals before meeting anymore. Those days are gone.

Anyone who thinks it's an effective way of going about online dating is going to be left behind in the dust, I guarantee you.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 10
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/28/2017 2:00:13 AM

Anyone who thinks it's an effective way of going about online dating is going to be left behind in the dust, I guarantee you.


More like sitting around growing mold.
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 11
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/29/2017 4:32:46 AM
If your interested in someone's picture read the profile regardless of what it says refer to it, tell them you would like to meet to get to know them better if their interested message you back and we will set a date and time for then where we can go into more detail on our interests it's a one and done thing. They either message you back or they don't and you move on.

But make reference to certain things about their profile like interests and things they say. You can even say a time and date if they are interested but need different time and date they will tell you in their message.

To me it don't matter here or real life I am not shy and very aggressive, you need to be determined and dedicated know what your doing and why you are doing it.

They have a just ask so what you can't say hello, like your pictures you say just ask so I am asking want to grab a drink on friday night at 8 pm here, and we can see if we have the same interests? They are going to say yes or no they might even give different time and location.

See one message and done all they have is just ask. I get better when they don't even have a picture with just ask.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 12
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/29/2017 8:00:19 PM
Trahshumanisfuture- My first suggestion would be to visit the profile review forum.
You can get some good input on how to fine tune your profile.

I read it, I'll save comments for if you decide to do a profile review, but I do have one suggestion based on what I saw:

You have several very specific interests, several that have a following. You aren't going to have a lot of luck on POF finding people into what you are into (Let me be clear, there is NOTHING wrong with your interests, I'm only saying this to help you).
My daughter and her fiance are into several of the things you listed. They go to conventions for them, there, they meet like minded people and have a blast.
I highly suggest you do the same thing.

Lastly, do NOT let lack of success here get to you. I'm here mostly for the forums. I focus on IRL because I feel like that is where I'm more likely to meet someone. Online dating should never be the only way you try to meet people.

Good luck :)
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 13
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/30/2017 8:17:04 AM
This is the slow season. Things will pick up after the first of the year.
 forumzfishonly
Joined: 12/17/2017
Msg: 14
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 12/30/2017 8:33:26 AM
I’d lose the whole first paragraph of your profile, nobody cares if your clumsy, it’s a dumb first impression to give women...save it for first meet conversation..perhaps tip your coffee over in her lap if she’s not interested in you
 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 15
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 1/1/2018 5:16:54 PM

I'm getting no messages at all, and it feels like I'm fishing in a stagnant pond. Everyone seems, to be inner city, uneducated, or just advertising their instagrams. What's the deal with all the "ask me" profiles?!


I had a profile on here for years during my mid-to-late thirties and got NOTHING in the way of messages. If I could gander a guess, there's A LOT fewer active profiles and A LOT more fake female profiles on here than the site would have you believe... and the rest of the demographic is a narrow, close-minded crowd that has zero appreciation for people who are even a little different from the norm.

OkC is going to be your best best, but don't expect much there either as the userbase has dwindled heavily in the last year or two even in a big metro like Phoenix.
 RenewedVigor2018
Joined: 2/5/2018
Msg: 16
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/23/2018 3:25:06 AM
Give it a decade and the world will wake up. Until then, grab a cat or dog and enjoy the ride while going out and meeting people. POF is less dating and more entertainment value... like Jerry Springer.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 17
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/24/2018 3:44:05 PM
There you go, you know the score.

Get to my age, and you'll soon not give a flying fig about dating. Gets in the way of more important stuff.
 THEMFNMAN
Joined: 10/11/2010
Msg: 18
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/24/2018 4:07:31 PM
@ ThePigOfYourDreams

When I was dating online a lot on Craigslist for example, I reached a point where I would chat for a few emails then ask to meet without exchanging pictures. Most of the women flaked.

From that little experiment though, I started to think about what it would be like to just date without pics. A site of nothing but blind dates and a mandatory stipulation that you have to date once every so many months or get removed. As crazy as it sounds, I bet a lot more success would happen because sometimes people who don't show-through the best in a pic online can look better in-person and even boost their image due to having a great personality.

Weird side thought: Why do Canadian beef sticks taste so bizarre? I dunno...
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 19
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/24/2018 8:56:43 PM
Different idea, but I doubt it would work. What you're counting on is people being able to write a decent profile. After a couple dozen profiles that I've written over the years about myself, not one to date has been worth a hoot. I've read plenty on how to write them. None have ever worked.

Another point, ratios. Right now, the numbers point heavily in the woman favor in my area. So, had I gone on your dating website, I'd get axed just because I'd be fighting for a response that I wouldn't get. Think I'd get better at writing opening notes ? Wrong again. Not having any input to improve my skills only leaves me guessing at what I'm doing wrong. And no, the first message writing sites hasn't helped at all.

Your ideas are all well and good. You've just left out an important element. That not everyone can learn and improve by trial and error. And no input means no clues to improvement.
 RenewedVigor2018
Joined: 2/5/2018
Msg: 20
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/24/2018 11:31:23 PM

A site of nothing but blind dates and a mandatory stipulation that you have to date once every so many months or get removed.


Due to the existence of filters and image alterations and enhancements people may choose to do at home... we are already there.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 21
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/25/2018 12:46:13 PM

From that little experiment though, I started to think about what it would be like to just date without pics. A site of nothing but blind dates and a mandatory stipulation that you have to date once every so many months or get removed. As crazy as it sounds, I bet a lot more success would happen because sometimes people who don't show-through the best in a pic online can look better in-person and even boost their image due to having a great personality.


An interesting concept, but you would be hard-pressed to find people brave enough to try it.
 FatherOWhite
Joined: 2/14/2018
Msg: 22
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:30:06 PM
I can't believe I'm about to say this.

I miss the old days when you could just meet people in real life at bars and parties and stuff.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 23
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:46:10 PM

A site of nothing but blind dates and a mandatory stipulation that you have to date once every so many months or get removed.

I agree with Vigor, very hard to tell what some people look like with all the goofy filter, and horrible fish-eye angles.

Another thing about the "swipe" apps is that people are trying to "game" the algorithms so that their profiles show up more frequently. One method is that people delete their profiles after a short time, say only a month or so. Then they create a new profile and try again. A month later, wash and repeat. Because of this, many profiles are just disposable crap.

==============

In other news, after 3 months back on the scene I got my second date. I followed my own advice and engaged with a woman who messaged me enthusiastically. Less than a week after the first message we met face-to-face and she was very much as represented. Judging from the texts after the date - she doesn't hate me yet.
 Belleatrix
Joined: 12/17/2017
Msg: 24
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/27/2018 8:28:06 PM
Dating is not a necessary though, so work on yourself instead. Maybe this is just not your time.

Go read a book, join a dance class, go to meetup groups, do other things with your life. When things are going to happen, they happen.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 25
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I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/28/2018 3:06:24 AM

I can't believe I'm about to say this.

I miss the old days when you could just meet people in real life at bars and parties and stuff.

I still meet people in real life. I haven't used this site or any other dating site for dating in years. Real life is definitely where it's at!
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