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 greatgal1977
Joined: 3/1/2017
Msg: 1
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleaguePage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Can you guys tell me if I broke any etiquette rules here? I went out shopping with my boyfriend and run into one of my acquaintances from work. I only talk to this guy at work about work related stuff. Anyhow, my boyfriend got upset when I didn't introduce him to my coworker.

The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello
Joe from Work: Hello
Me: How are you doing?
Joe from Work: He didn't answer me, looked busy or rushed or upset about something (have no idea) and went to another isle.

Anyhow, my BF thinks that I should've said this:
Me: Hello Joe, this is my boyfriend John.

I think that my BF is being ridiculous, when did I even have a time to introduce him to Joe? lol He is a bit upset about it.

What is your take?
 DrivingHarmony
Joined: 1/7/2018
Msg: 2
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/22/2018 7:17:12 PM

I think that my BF is being ridiculous, when did I even have a time to introduce him to Joe?


I immediately said to myself, "she did not even have time for an introduction."

Of course, if Joe had stayed put for a little discussion, then yes, by all means, introduce the boyfriend.

Sounds like Joe was in a hurry. IMO, let your boyfriend know there was no time for an introduction and if there was, you would have certainly done so.

Has this happened in the past?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 3
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BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/22/2018 7:21:52 PM
Doesn't seem to me that your co-worker wanted any conversation at all, so introducing your boyfriend would have been intrusive. But your boyfriend may have thought the co-worker was mad about seeing you with a man. Who knows, people get upset over the oddest things. Now if you were standing there talking to this guy, then you should have done the introduction.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 4
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BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/22/2018 10:42:07 PM
Me, I don't need to know your work pals, 'cause I'm not going to remember them anyhow. I don't think you did anything wrong. You were out shopping, not at a dinner party.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 5
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 4:55:04 AM

( greatgal1977) Can you guys tell me if I broke any etiquette rules here? I went out shopping with my boyfriend and run into one of my acquaintances from work. I only talk to this guy at work about work related stuff. Anyhow, my boyfriend got upset when I didn't introduce him to my coworker.

The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello
Joe from Work: Hello
Me: How are you doing?
Joe from Work: He didn't answer me, looked busy or rushed or upset about something (have no idea) and went to another isle.

Anyhow, my BF thinks that I should've said this:
Me: Hello Joe, this is my boyfriend John.

I think that my BF is being ridiculous, when did I even have a time to introduce him to Joe? lol He is a bit upset about it.

What is your take?


You broke no etiquette rules. Your BF was simply worried that you had gotten a leg-over with "Joe" sometime in the past, and wanted "Joe" to know that playtime was over. *THAT'S* the discussion you should be having with "John". How he responds to this, whether correct or not, will inform *YOUR* course of action. Don't let him PA-gaslight you into thinking that *YOU* did wrong...
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 6
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 7:03:40 AM

I think that my BF is being ridiculous, when did I even have a time to introduce him to Joe?


- yup.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 7
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 7:03:42 AM
The OP's boyfriend overreacted. There wasn't enough time for a formal introduction. That being said, maybe there was some jealousy or insecurity involved. The co-worker may have a secret crush on the OP. The boyfriend may have initially thought the co-worker was an ex or the OP was cheating on him with the co-worker.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 8
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 7:07:52 AM
same as everyone else. Joe did not give you the time, it would have been rude of you to hold Joe up, and bf is upset about something. So, ask the bf the reason why he was upset, and maybe you can bring him to a social event with your coworkers and introduce him then?
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 9
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 7:08:12 AM
I’d like to be introduced if my partner and someone I didn’t know stopped to speak.
Otherwise you’re standing there feeling pretty gormless
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 10
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BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 12:52:49 PM
Well it doesn't seem if you had a conversation at all.
So an introduction is not necessary?

With that said, I've noticed it doesn't seem to be at all
common to introduce people anymore. I always introduce
people...and I always do it right away.

It is quite embarrassing to be standing there while your
friend or partner is having a convo with someone and you're
not introduced.

But I guess you'd have to be there.
It sounds like a really odd acquaintance that wouldn't answer
how are you doing after bothering to say hello. Manners are
so out of style these days.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 11
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BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 2:32:14 PM
Personally, I would have extended my hand and introduced myself... if there was an opportunity.
 sundress1
Joined: 10/29/2017
Msg: 12
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 3:53:33 PM

I’d like to be introduced if my partner and someone I didn’t know stopped to speak.
Otherwise you’re standing there feeling pretty gormless


I would too. But based on what the OP said, it sounds like she didn't really have a chance to do so.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 13
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BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 4:09:37 PM
I agree that the BF had suspicions about you and the co worker.... This co worker was not keen to stay and chat obviously so you did nothing wrong. He may have been upset you had a guy with you. I would be careful how I behave with this co worker as I suspect he is harbouring feelings.

However I would just take the time to make an intro next time a similar situation arises. Only takes seconds and it is good manners.
 greatgal1977
Joined: 3/1/2017
Msg: 14
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 5:20:48 PM
I've talked to my BF about this today. He doesn't think me and this guy had anything going on in the past. He just wants people to know that he is my boyfriend. He wants me to introduce him around more to my friends and some of my distant relatives.


It sounds like a really odd acquaintance that wouldn't answer
how are you doing after bothering to say hello. Manners are
so out of style these days.

You are right. Most people are not concerned about manners at all nowadays. Some people wouldn't even say hello to you if they don't consider you somehow useful or worthwhile to them.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 15
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 5:41:12 PM
"He just wants people to know that he is my boyfriend."

Does he want you to wear a neon sign saying you're his girlfriend? He sounds a little clingy or obsessive. I would tread lightly with this one.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 16
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 5:44:21 PM
I know you've been together long enough to call him your boyfriend, but are you sure he doesn't have a vagina?
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 17
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 6:39:48 PM

He just wants people to know that he is my boyfriend


by wanting to c.o.ckblock other men who are acquainted with you, no matter what...........thus, so much for "manners"
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 18
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BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 7:16:45 PM
He could have introduced himself. When I feel an introduction is needed and no one extends the courtesy, I most often introduce myself. Not necessarily as my significant others, but as myself. A first name is enough information unless it is a business setting/ party/ meeting.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 19
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/23/2018 7:22:46 PM
He sounds clingy and insecure. It would make sense to introduce him to your coworker if the 2 of you were friendly, but he barely said hello.
 Scareyboatrace
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 20
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/24/2018 2:03:55 AM

I know you've been together long enough to call him your boyfriend, but are you sure he doesn't have a vagina?

It sounds like you and the boyfriend are a pair of tremendous broflakes.

I agree with yule liquor and that site to site person, as the saying goes - when the papaya is in the papoose....
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 21
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/24/2018 3:42:34 AM

(greatgal1977) I've talked to my BF about this today. He doesn't t]doeshink me and this guy had anything going on in the past.


So, what does he think, that he would get all out of sorts?


(greatgal1977) He just wants people to know that he is my boyfriend. He wants me to introduce him around more to my friends and some of my distant relatives.


That actually sounds rather innocuous. Do you feel it is time-appropriate? You refer to him as your BF, so he wants the sizzle with the steak, is all...
 Scareyboatrace
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 22
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/24/2018 4:12:03 AM
It's obvious the boyfriend is putting inordinate pressure on the girlfriend....surely he'll have to wait till she and her friends and family deem it appropriate to meet him. They won't want to meet him unless she's serious about him or he's become important to her meanwhile he should be focusing on getting to know her and breaking down whatever barriers he perceives exist with love and attention.

I'd be tremendously concerned that the boyfriend only wants to make contact with all of those people so he can rob them or sell them drugs.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 23
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/24/2018 5:48:26 AM
^^some people might think it flings the mango to come to that conclusion but stranger things have happened :)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 24
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/24/2018 6:43:28 AM
reminds me of most sitcom TV shows, where two characters fall into bed with each other, and one of them gets insecure and wants a label on what they're doing together...and ruins what they have instead of just letting it go and enjoying the ride.

like I posted prior, invite coworkers to happy hour or something and have bf show up to be introduced. or have bf show up at workplace to buy OP lunch, and when the office gossips go, "oooh, who's that?" its perfect time to intro the beau. Their flapping lips will handle the rest.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 25
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BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 1/24/2018 11:01:29 AM

The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello
Joe from Work: Hello
Me: How are you doing?
Joe from Work: He didn't answer me, looked busy or rushed or upset about something (have no idea) and went to another isle.

That wasn't a conversation. That was an exchange of hellos, and Joe from work ignoring you trying to Start a convo.

Anyhow, my BF thinks that I should've said this:
Me: Hello Joe, this is my boyfriend John.

No, that's not necessary at all, and can be kind of weird, too. Especially if all you deal with is work & only work with Joe. You exchange Hellos to someone, and you introduce the person you're with.

Measuring stick: You were out shopping with your close friend Sally. You handle it the same way. If your Opener was "Hi Joe, this is my friend Sally!" -- he'd think you're trying to set them up or something. No, an opener hello is not centered around the one you're at the store with.
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