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 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 1
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Red Flag Lists in People's ProfilesPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles


How do you feel about profiles that list red flags?

I see a lot of people on dating sites with profiles that contain certain statements these days. I thought I'd start a topic about it.

What would you think about a man who had this in his profile (or a woman with similar requirements)?

I'll admit it's a long, exaggerated list, and some of the items may be personal preferences and not necessarily red flags for everyone. I have seen most of these on other peoples' profiles.


Looking for a partner in crime for love & disorderly conduct (not all at once, only if we make a special connection - later).

Please don't contact me if you have:
Serious mental or medical problems, are still married or separated (and by the way, separated IS married), have never been married, are not edjumicated, if you don't believe in exercise, if you have a stalker ex, work in any power position, work in the armed forces or police, are less than 5'2", are foreign, don't live in the area, are a scammer, have drama, have Pit bulls, guns, tats, missing or rotting teeth, are not christian or Catholic, don't have a driver's licence or a car, don't smile for pictures, are afraid of crowds or having your picture taken, are not a positive thinker, are an introvert, can't carry a conversation, don't ask me questions, have a dirty car or house, are a hoarder, are on the rebound, recently widowed or divorced and haven't healed yet, are looking for a one night stand, FWB, or FB, have drama, throw your ex under the bus, are a go-go dancer, a prostitute, are a race other than what I'm looking for, are a liar, er, lawyer, don't ever wear makeup even on date night, treat store help and wait staff poorly, are a dead-beat mom, are a party girl, if you did not vote for Trump, if you don't drink, have ever been to an AA meeting, are co-dependent, are addicted to drugs or gambling, are on the wagon or a recovering addict, cuss at the other drivers on the road, or still live with your parents, or have five different baby-daddies or are a crazy seven cat crack ho!

Let's connect the old fashioned way and have a conversation. Nice to see you here.


- I'll admit, many of these things I watch out for and try to avoid. But some might not be that serious....... for example, a separated person might be okay to date if they are healed...... reality is many single people are on the rebound and not ready for a relationship either. Also, if you are not religious, Christianity won't apply to you. So take this list with a grain of salt.

How would you feel about a man with a profile like this? What would you like or dislike? Would you talk to him?
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 2
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 9:37:18 AM
I just checked out a woman’s profile stating....Looking for someone real!!!, yet she had so much makeup on, she must use a jackhammer to remove it every night...not sure if it could be considered a red flag, but is definitely a common eye roller
 ShawnP1120
Joined: 1/21/2018
Msg: 3
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 10:42:12 AM
I think "red flags" are unique to the individual. Also, and I've noticed this here in a lot of cases, people tend to see what they want and feel that their reaction is the only logical one. Not saying you, just a tendency I've noticed as pretty common. They don't seem to understand that sometimes things that are "red flags" to them are on the poster's part meant to be filters.

For example Partner in Crime... It's a phrase that's used in some circles and it denotes one's significant other. I read it and I get it. Some read it and get put off. And at least to a degree I think that's intentional.

Some are just serious deal-breakers for an individual. For me, still being married or separated are deal breakers. Esp. married, but even separated is not something I want to deal with. They may be perfectly over the past relationship, or have a good reason the marriage hasn't ended, they aren't bad people, but I'm not interested, that doesn't make me bad or strange, I'm being honest about something that's really going to be an issue, and result in, at best, a waste of both our times.

Some may indicate a past, or be a red flag, take Pit Bulls. If they or a child or friend, family member etc, were a victim of an attack, it's perfectly reasonable they wouldn't want that in their lives. Of course it could indicate they buy into propaganda and have no clue that the "vicious" pit is a product of abuse, that normally they are extremely loyal and safe dogs.

Armed services/police, again if I lost my SO or was very close to certain situations that would be a total deal breaker, it's understandable.

Some are poor attempts at humor that try to convey something they don't want to deal with.

And then after all of that you decide there's something there then you talk and you find out that they actually are looking for someone to go on a cross country crime spree and play Bonnie and Clyde... lol
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 4
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 12:20:54 PM
I got to ‘stalker’ and lost interest
Admittedly a goldfish has a longer attention span
So for me, it wouldn’t matter if I was on his list
If I weren’t in the first few, I’d miss it.
Tbh....pics first then skim read the profile.
You know lists can be good (focused, targeted etc)
You know lists can be bad (rigid, inflexible)
I never did do well in terms of finding a long term partner online so maybe I should just shut up.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 5
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 12:30:08 PM
I'm with Roxy...my attention span is that of a chipmunk on crack.
But...
I always figure profiles are personal and people can put
whatever the heck they want on them. My profile has nothing
on it, and I still get messages.

What we might see as "red flags", others see as shopping
lists.

I always look at photos at first as well.
I'll read a profile if it's not too long, but I always stop
if it says something like read all the way to the end.
People should be able to express themselves in as few
words as possible...IMHO.

(I'm looking at you Norwegianguy!)
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 6
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 12:53:46 PM

How do you feel about profiles that list red flags?

I would feel that we aren't a match and click next without a second thought.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 7
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 1:07:38 PM
People who list red flags is a red flag. The longer the list, the brighter the flag.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 8
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 1:09:07 PM
You know, since my very earliest days in OLD I have had a negative vibe about “partner in crime”. I think it has something to do with my belief that damn near every one of the women who use that phrase are too strait laced to ever cheat a parking meter, never mind go on an actual crime spree.

If they really were seeking someone to participate in rule breaking behavior that would be one thing. But you know, unquestionably, after reading the rest of their profile, that they have never, not once, in their entire life, colored outside the lines. And the very last thing they want in their life is a man who WILL color outside the lines.

So I guess my problem is that I see it as hypocritical. Something like:
Let’s you and I go and pretend to be naughty, while never doing anything that would possibly shock the neighbors.

 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 9
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 1:18:19 PM


Looking for a partner in crime for love & disorderly conduct (not all at once, only if we make a special connection - later).

Please don't contact me if you have:
Serious mental or medical problems, are still married or separated (and by the way, separated IS married), have never been married, are not edjumicated[sic], if you don't believe in exercise, if you have a stalker ex, work in any power position, work in the armed forces or police, are less than 5'2", are foreign, don't live in the area, are a scammer, have drama, have Pit bulls, guns, tats, missing or rotting teeth, are not christian or Catholic, don't have a driver's licence or a car, don't smile for pictures, are afraid of crowds or having your picture taken, are not a positive thinker, are an introvert, can't carry a conversation, don't ask me questions, have a dirty car or house, are a hoarder, are on the rebound, recently widowed or divorced and haven't healed yet, are looking for a one night stand, FWB, or FB, have drama, throw your ex under the bus, are a go-go dancer, a prostitute, are a race other than what I'm looking for, are a liar, er, lawyer, don't ever wear makeup even on date night, treat store help and wait staff poorly, are a dead-beat mom, are a party girl, if you did not vote for Trump, if you don't drink, have ever been to an AA meeting, are co-dependent, are addicted to drugs or gambling, are on the wagon or a recovering addict, cuss at the other drivers on the road, or still live with your parents, or have five different baby-daddies or are a crazy seven cat crack ho!

Let's connect the old fashioned way and have a conversation. Nice to see you here.



- I'll admit, many of these things I watch out for and try to avoid. But some might not be that serious....... for example, a separated person might be okay to date if they are healed...... reality is many single people are on the rebound and not ready for a relationship either. Also, if you are not religious, Christianity won't apply to you. So take this list with a grain of salt.

How would you feel about a man with a profile like this? What would you like or dislike? Would you talk to him?


Nope. Paragraphs are your friends---I don't communicate with men who haven't learned to use them.
 bizzmanmatt
Joined: 11/25/2017
Msg: 10
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 1:33:23 PM
OP, that profile seems to be more for shits and giggles. I don't think the person is serious.
 ShawnP1120
Joined: 1/21/2018
Msg: 11
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 1:39:01 PM

If they really were seeking someone to participate in rule breaking behavior that would be one thing.


If they're posting on an OLD site looking for an actual criminal partner, they've already disqualified themselves as someone worthy of committing covert operations with, lol
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 12
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 2:06:35 PM
Shawn
If they're posting on an OLD site looking for an actual criminal partner, they've already disqualified themselves as someone worthy of committing covert operations with, lol

+1
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 13
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 2:22:02 PM
LOL I couldn't read the damn thing..............in it's entirety. The little I could read, I took it to be a joke.
When reading a man's profile, if he listed the things he did not want, I moved on.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 14
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 2:29:16 PM
I work for the secret service





Oh Shit......






Abort.....delete
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 15
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 3:51:41 PM
it's either a bad joke

OR

someone who has too much negative energy
 ShawnP1120
Joined: 1/21/2018
Msg: 16
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 4:25:51 PM
I just realized this is all in ONE profile.....Holy Hell

I thought it was a composite. Yea, that's just a bit much, lol

What's funny though is if he gets an honest answer, she'll be damned near perfect for him
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 17
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 5:06:14 PM
But is the crazy seven cat crack ho still able to take good care of her cats? :-).

Love the list. Made me laugh a few times.

I guess to each his/ her own, but honestly, I've met some really great 5,2 folks who had at least a couple of the other traits listed that I think would make great partners to those looking.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 18
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 5:40:26 PM

How do you feel about profiles that list red flags?


That depends on what someone considers red flags.

Reasonable and logical red flags are fine.
Nitpicky things that are more whimsical than mature reality, not so much.

Taken in total, that list eliminates 99.9% of the people on the planet.

These are examples of whimsical red flags:


have never been married,

,
are less than 5'2",
(5' 1 and a 1/2" is not good enough?)

are an introvert,


are foreign


are afraid of crowds


don't live in the area,
(What do they consider their "area"?)

None of those really have any bearing on someone's ability to conduct a responsible, problem-free, mature relationship.

Most of the rest are pretty reasonable.

Everyone is foreign to someone.


How would you feel about a man with a profile like this?


He'll be making a lot of reservations for one.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 19
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 6:58:08 PM

(5' 1 and a 1/2" is not good enough?)


Nope, it isn't. We're not a good fit, to coin a phrase. Actually 5'2 and a 3/4" just misses.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 20
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 7:37:28 PM

crazy seven cat

LOL when I met my current spouse, I had 8 cats, now we are down to 6. I refused to remarry w/o my cats. One was re-homed, & one died of old age.

We have a cat door & 5 acres.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 21
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 1/31/2018 9:59:47 PM
Love my cats! All 100 lol
Ok only 99

At least I made the cut 5'3"
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 22
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Posted: 2/1/2018 12:23:49 AM
I find lists of Red Flags to be insulting and very useful, so I approve.

They're insulting by their very nature - creating a barrier between people to keep them away. Doesn't matter the detail - no one wants to be rejected without a word. "I'm a smoker, but I smell like menthol, not an old shoe!"

They're useful, because even to a small extent, they rebuff the unwanted, and warn the unheeding & arrogant. So, your 5'0" suitor knew their message would be rejected even before mentioning the 5 baby-mommas and no car.

The very sad thing is that people outright LIE and conceal facts to get around the red flags. "No, I don't have kids ( they live 50 miles away )."

I don't think these lists make dating any tougher or rougher. You're gonna hit a wall with someone's prefs sooner or later. Red Flags are not always Deal Killers. Do we need another list?
 DINNO76
Joined: 1/22/2018
Msg: 23
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 4:31:19 AM
When they have a picture of a red flag in their profile.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 24
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 6:17:09 AM
GENERALLY SPEAKING, someone who posts red flags, likely hates them due to too much experience with them. I just found out today, markus is cleaning out all profile photos that don't have a human being in them. Too bad, that used to tell a lot about some people. memes they thought were wise or funny, for example. For example, someone might require a partner to travel, and have a bunch of travel photos. well, duh, their requirement makes sense.

A man or a woman who is an 8, a 9, even a 10, gets approached by more people in life. They probably get exposed to a wide range of people, and want to cull that number down to normal people. The rest of us, who have to do more chasing b/c we don't get chased, likely choose who's in our life b/c we're inviting them in. we could very well be chasing people with red flags like our own, and don't notice the results until they bite us in the ass. I'll admit, I only chase women attractive to me, and when they've said something about partners in crime...they are beautiful enough to get away with #$#, which is why they find it fun to do it.

what is the general response to people who put up barriers? if they look hot in their photos, then people who are dating in order to feel better about themselves, will try hard to win that person over. Or complain when they can't. others will just decide that person isn't attractive with all those barriers, and move on to someone else.

age may be a factor, as well. someone may have engaged in lots of drama when they were young 'n' dumb. Now, they may be older, may be divorced, and they now know what they don't want to go thru, again.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 25
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 7:29:44 AM

I just found out today, markus is cleaning out all profile photos that don't have a human being in them.

Do tell, GTO!

I thought Markus no longer was involved in POF so I was like...hmmmmm!

And GTO, how are you in the know? ;0)
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