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 Jonathan01990
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 1
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POF Waste Of Time For The GuysPage 1 of 1    
I only joined this site after someone I know knew someone that had been successful on here and I've tried all these different methods but nothing works.

1. I already knew that a basic simple Hi, how are you message will not get any response so I didn't try this method.
2. I tried an advertising type message from my about me description sent multiple times and although this method did get 1 reply I soon founded out that it violates the terms of service rules and immediately stopped that before getting done.
3. I tried long messages commenting about their profile and mutual interests but that didn't work.
4. I tried shorter messages in the same way but that did nothing.
5. I tried sending humour funny messages to see if I was being boring to them and this only got a message telling me I had to grow up.

So how does the POF site work then if your a guy? What should you say without offending anyone? Is the site even worth it?

I know I would never do these things but I have seen videos where guys on here have experimented by going on fake girl accounts to find that if your female then you get bombarded with messages or also if they changed their profile picture to a male supermodel they had many replies.
 VeeDub_EVO_III
Joined: 3/10/2014
Msg: 2
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/11/2018 1:30:32 AM
I can't give exact numbers but here is my opinion:

1) Your level of success is directly related to how attractive you are, and how much effort you expend.
2) For every 100 messages sent, you will get one response.
3) For every 20 responses, you will get 1 phone number.
4) For every 5 phone numbers, you will get 1 date.
5) Fore every 10 dates, you will get one relationship.
6) For every 10 relationships, you will get 1 wife.

POF does work.... but only if you're patient.
 freshtak
Joined: 1/15/2018
Msg: 3
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/11/2018 12:10:23 PM
Does this mean it takes 10,000 messagers to get a date?
 ForumLurker
Joined: 9/14/2015
Msg: 4
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/11/2018 4:45:15 PM

Does this mean it takes 10,000 messagers to get a date?

It looks that way. At least according to VeeDub's math.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 5
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/12/2018 1:23:09 AM
My numbers were slightly different.

1) Your level of success is directly related to how good your photos, profile and messages are
2) For every 100 messages sent, I got around 15 responses
3) For every 15 responses, I got 7 phone numbers
4) For every 7 phone numbers, I got around 5 real life meetings
5) I got 2 relationships from around 30 meetings
6) From 2 relationships I got one keeper.

I didn't count the messages as I sent them but working backwards it works out around 600 messages over the course of a year, which matches my estimation of around 10-15 messages sent each weekend.

But if your profile and photos suck then yeah, 10,000 is probably more accurate.
 VeeDub_EVO_III
Joined: 3/10/2014
Msg: 6
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/12/2018 9:24:19 AM
Ummm... yeah. 10,000 is a conservative estimate. Maybe 20,000 is more realistic?

I've been on POF very sporadically (on one year, off the next) since 2009. I've had untold messages, numbers and dates. But nothing too noteworthy over 9 years.

I've found only two women that made it to the "girlfriend" status, and they turned out to be such mental wrecks, I sent them right back to POF anyways.

1) "Plain looking" women are numerous and obviously I could go that route. However I'm used to a higher calibre of lady, and I always start getting unhappy unless I'm extremely attracted to them. Mental stimulation and great personalities or money alone does not suffice. Attraction is not optional.

2) The women I'm actually attracted to are usually so flippin bombarded with rude messages, genital pictures, harassment etc etc... they respond to absolutely nothing... and they have their pick of the most attractive, richest men on POF. So they never amount to much.

3) There's alot of single moms. I've found them to be more receptive. Problem is their world revolves around their kids, family, and their ex so much they can't maintain a relationship. They hide you from the kids upwards a year... and you're basically just a dirty little secret nobody in her life knows about. I'm rapidly losing interest in single moms. They never have time. And parenthood is a frequent excuse.

4) I am receiving a fair amount of attention from older (40-50) single mothers where their kids are adults. They're much nicer to deal with and very pleasant. My problem is that I find myself not wanting to go for 45yr old women when 35yr olds message me. For obvious reasons. I'm 39...

5) I do receive about 10 messages a week unsolicited. Meaning she messaged first. Most of them are nice people... but not necessarily my type.

So yeah... sex appeal and the law of averages is what governs your success on POF. You must be regarded as somewhat attractive, and send thousands of messages. The majority of attention you actually do receive may be unwanted.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 7
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/14/2018 3:19:00 PM
just be yourself and accept you aren't gonna click with everybody and not everybody is looking for what you have to offer. and don't rely on the internet for dating, or whatever else you're looking for. if you're not successful offline then it's unlikely you will be online coz online you have less to promote yourself with.
 Jonathan01990
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 8
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/14/2018 3:30:59 PM
So I got this today:
1. An email from the site saying this girl I'd previously contacted with no luck wanted to meet me.
2. I message her to question about it.
3. The message gets deleted with no replies.

Just how fake can something get as she isn't even interested?
How the hell POF works for people I just don't know.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 9
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/14/2018 3:56:53 PM
OP you should get a profile review. Yours is awful. If you spell as poorly in the messages that you send to women as you did here in the forums I am not surprised that you are getting ignored. Little things like that really do count.
 Jonathan01990
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 10
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/14/2018 4:06:52 PM
And what word did I spell wrong in that last post? All my spelling looks correct from what I can see. As for the profile suggestions yes I may not be very good looking and ugly but I can't go downloading and using a picture of a supermodel off google. Not only it violates copyright but the POF terms of service too. If you know what I should put in profile description about myself then tell me.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 11
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 2/26/2018 4:14:14 AM

I may not be very good looking and ugly but I can't go downloading and using a picture of a supermodel off google

No, but you can get a picture of yourself that doesn't look like it's a screen grab from a bad VHS copy of The Mist.

If you want a profile review then you should post in the profile reviews forum and ask for one.
 _Traveller
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 12
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 6/16/2018 12:02:57 AM
That's a reasonable order-of-magnitude estimate.

I find that it takes me about 500 contacts/messages to get one date. It's about the same ratio everywhere; either online or in real life. There's just too much competition nowadays, and expectations have gone sky-high.

Welcome to the brave new world of relationships.
 _Traveller
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 13
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 6/16/2018 12:10:29 AM
How it works is that if you are tall, good looking and rich, then you will have a lot of success. If you're poor, short and ugly, you're pretty much out of luck. In between, your milage will vary.

And remember, it's not what YOU think that matters, it's HER opinion that counts. And women's standards today are extremely high, and going nowhere but up. Good luck.

By the way, this is true everywhere, not just here. POF is actually one of the better places.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 14
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 6/16/2018 1:53:37 AM

And remember, it's not what YOU think that matters, it's HER opinion that counts. And women's standards today are extremely high, and going nowhere but up. Good luck.


You mean the considerably younger women who have more dating options and the same women most men want?

It's time for certain mean to get real with their own standards, choices, and circumstances and stop thinking they're entitled to a younger piece of azz because they exist. If you're pushing women aside that don't match what your ego wants, you're not being 'cheated,' you're being stupid.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 15
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 6/16/2018 8:33:45 AM
^^Tall, good looking and rich guys arent on POF looking for dates.
 FireandFizzing
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 16
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 7/24/2018 1:25:18 PM
Use it as a supplement for flirting and asking girls out in real life, nothing more.

Your success will be much greater in real life since people are...well, seeing the real you. You can interact and flirt directly with someone rather than sending a message they probably won't even read.

It also takes guts to approach a woman in real life, and that is very attractive to most women. Online, every guy can approach just by being a keyboard warrior - which strips away one of your main advantages.

If you're going out every Friday talking to girls in bars, clubs, hobby meetings, conventions, activity groups...whatever...you're going to have a good deal of success. Then when you check your email on a weekend, PoF might give you a few messages from ladies that like you and that's a nice bonus for getting more dates.

If you're 100% relying on OLD for dates, it's going to be extremely difficult.
 Prettiestgirl33
Joined: 8/12/2018
Msg: 17
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 10/29/2018 11:53:10 PM
It is a bigger waste of time for women.

If you don't look good (in shape, at least reasonably, dress well, comb your hair, speak nicely) don't expect to get responses. It isn't what you say, it is how you look. That's why it's a photo post site.
 Prettiestgirl33
Joined: 8/12/2018
Msg: 18
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 10/30/2018 12:00:11 AM
Traveler: No man on this site is rich.

Expecting a man to be employed above minimum wage, to have a car, his own place to live, and to dress neatly and cleanly with good manners is not extremely high standards. Those are BASIC things that adult men do.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 19
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 10/30/2018 9:37:29 AM

If you don't look good (in shape, at least reasonably, dress well, comb your hair, speak nicely) don't expect to get responses. It isn't what you say, it is how you look. That's why it's a photo post site.

Then do something about it. Get in better shape. Dress better. Style your hair. Take more flattering photos.

Those are easy things to do. Instead of whining about the site make self improvements.
 HeneryDanger
Joined: 12/9/2018
Msg: 20
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 12/27/2018 3:44:32 PM
Hey there,

Henery Danger stepping in here with my two cents. First of all it does not seem to matter how attractive you are, I am obsessed with fitness keeping a stick healthy diet and working out seven days a week for an hour before work, you could do laundry on my abs. I have a dream life living on a beautiful yacht and working at a prestigious resort. I have a great sense of humor and exceptional spelling, no debt, no kids, no alimony, no baggage.

If you happen to look at this profile, its a gag one I made to see how many messages I would get if I just posted what ever I wanted. My real one is much more tasteful. Surprisingly the inappropriate one got better results. The moral of the story is, as with most dating sites they are geared for the woman not the man and this site sucks hard.



Very entertaining though
 Chris485367
Joined: 2/10/2018
Msg: 21
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 1/4/2019 1:29:10 PM
That's not bad Mark_It_Up. I am talking to about 15-20 women at once on there usually. But that's after sending hundred+ messages, yes. And many of them are "slow talkers" meaning they take days or even a week or more to reply again the next time. However those slow ones in the past have still eventually gotten to phone numbers, and meet ups, and dating. It's worth to not just ignore and move on.
In general I only go for beautiful women or at least considered attractive by most guys. I am not the best looking guy, you just gotta learn what works in messages and what doesn't. It's definitely a learning process haha. It's so much easier in real life. Just go up to a cute girl let's say if she's next to you pumping gas. "hey I thought you were pretty cute, are you single?" bam, if she was I got a number. Already right on to texting, and a date a few days after that. Unline POF where first you have to do the messages for a while on there, before asking for a number. Have gotten blocked for asking for numbers, or for dates too soon. No matter how good the conversation and getting to know each other was before.

My issue is different. I don't find it takes 30 meetings/first dates just to get 2 relationships. In the last I don't know, 3-5 months, I have gotten plenty of numbers, gone on plenty of dates, and those QUICKLY turned into her coming over to my place and immediately hooking up. Probably, 10+ girls in the last year. My issue is they don't stick around lol. All of their profiles say they want long term, but they almost like use me for a while, and move on. The hard part from this site is definitely finding something LONG TERM for real. Which is even what *I* want ideally. Even though I was dating three women at once back a few months ago :o Terrible, I know. But in my mind I was thinking "which one will actually stick around?" and one by one they started not spending as many nights, not communicating much. And eventually disappearing. All of them. The story of my life from POF. Lately I am trying to make sure I start dating new women with actual dating. When they try to push for already coming over (you know what that means), deny it, and force more dates first. I think it shows you're more serious about something long term! I am trying this currently with a new girl or two. Let's hope they don't visit these forums and see this? Haha. But I'm curious if the "less is more" theory, about not getting together at each other's places so fast, actually works for something long term and lasting. I'll find out I guess.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 22
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 1/7/2019 10:43:50 AM
I've been a POF Member for years.....have not once gotten a date from here, and that's after ....oh...easily 10,000 messages, so the math is off. I keep trying, but I think I am more of a glutton for punishment now LOL
 MrHandy1911
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 23
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 1/7/2019 12:13:53 PM
It's always tougher for guys on here because we do the chasing. If you have a female friend that has an account have her show you her inbox. My female friends have it made their inbox is full of messages and guys wanting to talk to them but at the same time they hate having to go through all those messages. Their inbox is full of the same repeated messages or perverts. So basically I think they look at the guys profile real quick if he is somewhat attractive to them then they will read what he has to say and if it is witty enough maybe they will respond.
 Chris485367
Joined: 2/10/2018
Msg: 24
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 1/8/2019 10:26:02 PM
Hmm Joey. Maybe you're sending the wrong kind of messages, I don't know.
When I first started messaging on here a year ago, I barely got responses. Quickly learned what works and doesn't. Now I get lots of responses, it's hard to keep it going up through getting a phone number sometimes. But consistently I'm getting numbers like once a week or two at least, and going on dates from there. Texting is a whole different game than messaging on here, you can still easily mess it up and not have it lead to a date. Asking for a date too soon, being too aggressive about subjects like sexual talk which may come up, sending pics at the right time, asking pics at the right time from her, if at all, etc, etc can all still kill it before a date. Women are really too damn sensitive, because of the hundreds of dudes after them constantly. So you have to play it just right.
I could copy/paste some of my conversations from the last I dunno, 5 to 10 women who I started chatting with, and just give example of how I continue toward getting a number or a date. Sometimes I get aggressive fast and it works. Sometimes it scares them away. Have to try and judge it.
I had one going just fine the other day, got a number, was texting, gorgeous blonde very fit, and planning on a meet up. Then she says outta nowhere "Sorry but you're just not fit/physical enough for me. I do need that in a partner. Sorry for wasting your time but nice talking" lol. Shouldn't have shown her the shirtless pic. I am muscular! Those pics on texts usually get WOW! responses back, but she was a work-out nut. Shouldn't have shown her and let her imagination think whatever she wanted. Woulda gotten laid. Ugh! What a regret ;p Not sending shirtless selfies for a while again.
 NICKBLACK1
Joined: 8/20/2017
Msg: 25
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POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 1/13/2019 11:29:04 AM
Have no idea where you got your numbers or information from....But it's entirely wrong....It's all about first impression when you contact them..As to what you say ... I'm an older fu cker and not handsome, And I do get over 85% replies...a lot are very attractive women in the 40 to 60 year old range.. And I have had a lot of intimate dates from here. So it's not about how you look, but ""WHAT YOU SAY"
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