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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > never give up never settle      Home login  
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 dynamicones
Joined: 2/7/2018
Msg: 1
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never give up never settle Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ok I've been single for 20 years, happily single after being miserably married for 20 years. Been engaged for 7 in the past 20, kinda engaged for 4 and according to her engaged for 1. So not like I've not been looking or afraid of relationships BUT they all had the same thing in common. Lack of balance. I do for them, thats my part, they let me do for them, thats their part. So I've remained single for 20 years. Met many from pof, in two years met 16, been purposed too 4 times in one year and met a load of bat chit crazies of all ages 20 to 60 but this has been the story of my entire life. But I've always been pragmatic.
Last Oct met yet another one on pof, usual routine (I don't do coffee meet and greets nor do I date those I'm not already in a relationship with, my last 3 gfs didn't get the first date for a month). And I expected no more from this one than a weekend. That was 5 months ago lol

Ok it's taken 4 months for her to prove herself to me and she's done so with a vengeance. 4 months because women usually only last 60 days with me so she managed to get past that, then 120 and by the 120th she'd proven herself.

When I think of all the times I could have stopped with close enough sheesh
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 2
never give up never settle
Posted: 2/12/2018 4:49:09 PM
I was going to wish you good luck with your lady friend, then read your profile and saw that you're looking to add another woman to the mix. I don't know quite what to make of that---somehow, I don't foresee this situation as having a happily ever after ending.

I suspect this is similar to one of those Hugh Hefner type of arrangements, where most of the women eventually got bored with him and left him for men who were looking for monogamous relationships, and were closer to them in age.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 3
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never give up never settle
Posted: 2/12/2018 5:13:44 PM
She has to "prove herself"?? pfft, i would been out the door, bye dude.
 dynamicones
Joined: 2/7/2018
Msg: 4
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never give up never settle
Posted: 2/12/2018 6:54:55 PM
and I'd agree with you except I set her free to be herself. We're actually so alike we separately order the same thing at restaurants. Our only real difference is taste in women, hers runs larger mine smaller. Is it an experiment? yeah, but then how many monogamous relationships fail?
 dynamicones
Joined: 2/7/2018
Msg: 5
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never give up never settle
Posted: 2/12/2018 6:55:23 PM
and you feel you should qualify by breathing? I prove myself to her
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 6
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never give up never settle
Posted: 2/12/2018 7:04:22 PM
by breathing, to qualify, um no. Really dude yall are a match made in Heaven, carry on. lol
 mikeparkin2
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 7
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never give up never settle
Posted: 3/26/2018 7:43:34 PM
It depends on what opportunities come your way as to whether you should or should not settle.

I find people have good points and bad points rather than all good points.
Just like myself, I am not perfect.

I am at an age now where I don't really need sex and female company is ok for a while but not all the time.
I have my own hobbies that keep me busy.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 8
never give up never settle
Posted: 3/28/2018 9:39:59 AM
What gives me hope is seeing all the other couples I know, half of who actually met on POF. A lot of people date on and off for years and then sometimes meet the right person. Sometimes they meet the wrong person too, I did, but I think to myself, I'm glad I am 34 and have 3 beautiful children. I'd hate to be 34 and single and childless still.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 9
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/13/2018 8:07:11 AM
Being 53, divorced for 17 years, and crumb cruncher free is the greatest!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 10
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/13/2018 9:11:26 AM
I've been divorced for 18 years.
I don't settle.
And I've got nothing to prove.
Thinking someone I might meet is secretly testing me?
I love that!....said no one ever.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 11
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/13/2018 9:20:38 AM
And I read stories like this, I keep saying to myself-

GEE! AM I GLAD THAT'S NOT ME!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 12
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/13/2018 9:49:26 AM
Wait a cotton pickin’ minute here.

The OP states on his profile that he is 43 years old. And in his opening message here in this thread, he further states:


Ok I've been single for 20 years, happily single after being miserably married for 20 years.

So he got married when he was 3 years old? Quite a feat, I’m impressed.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 13
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/13/2018 10:19:14 AM
LOL ^ ^ ^ ^ I have heard there is something magical in the water!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 14
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/13/2018 1:04:41 PM
Wimmins need to prove themselves,
but he fibs on his profile because everyone
tells him he acts younger.

My friends tell me I look like Cindy
Crawford, but you don't see me modeling.
That's what friends are for...pump you up
but don't let you take it serious.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 15
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/14/2018 8:57:16 AM

Posted By: browneyesboo on 4/13/2018 3:04:41 PM
Subject: never give up never settle
Message: Wimmins need to prove themselves,
but he fibs on his profile because everyone
tells him he acts younger.

My friends tell me I look like Cindy
Crawford, but you don't see me modeling.
That's what friends are for...pump you up
but don't let you take it serious.


Wait....you have a sloth?
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 16
never give up never settle
Posted: 4/14/2018 10:28:35 AM
^^^
Wait....you have a sloth?


Doesn't everyone?

hahahaha

;-)
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 17
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/15/2018 8:36:17 AM
Profile does not match original post.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 18
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/15/2018 3:22:22 PM
So I thought sloth stood for something but could not find an acronym that made sense in this context. Then I sought out the term in the urban dictionary. I cannot for the life of me figure out what position the definition was describing!
The OP updated his profile with his correct (perhaps) age. Interesting how many people get their ages wrong when they sign up. The excitement of all the dates to come perhaps.
That a partner has to prove themselves seems kind of one-sided but I'm sure you don't ask for more than you offer.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 19
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/15/2018 3:30:04 PM
Curvylady, LOL No secret hidden meaning to "Sloth". (At least not that I know of)
Check out Browneyesboo's main profile pic. There was previous convo with Boo. She likes sloths.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 20
Radar gets slothed, er, slaked
Posted: 4/16/2018 7:29:01 AM
Curvylady brought up an interesting point in the forum wisdom post in the relationship section:

"If I were younger and reading the forums, I would have gleaned that it was important to work at maintaining a partnership to avoid looking for a partner later on. I also would have gleaned that it's perfectly reasonable to not seek a partner - partnership truly is not all I used to believe it to be."

>>>I don't know how many people are rational enough to plan far ahead, and decide that settling now may pay off in the future by avoiding being lonely amongst a dwindling supply. But maybe some do.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 21
Radar gets slothed, er, slaked
Posted: 4/16/2018 8:46:53 AM
^^^If people were rational, everybody would have a pre-nup before getting married. But everybody thinks their marriage will be the one that lasts a lifetime-even if roughly half of marriages end in divorce. Everybody is looking for that fairy tale relationship with another perfect human being, where nothing ever goes wrong, and they live happily ever after. Maybe the legal age for getting married should be raised, since teenage marriages are almost always a bad idea, and it's almost impossible to be rational with a teenager. Too many teens have a "I know everything and older people don't know anything" attitude.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 22
Radar gets slothed, er, slaked
Posted: 4/16/2018 8:48:45 AM
Yes, there is always that "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality. I'd say in 80% of ended marriages, the people in them or one of the people, didn't try enough. Instead of persevering, people give up and they assume they'll be able to find someone better. Often, that better never materializes. I think the important question to ask is whether someone would end a relationship if they knew they would never find anyone better. If they were guaranteed that the person they were with was the bestthey'd ever get, would they still go?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 23
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Radar gets slothed, er, slaked
Posted: 4/16/2018 11:39:50 AM
I didn't walk away from either marriage for "greener grass". I ran! Self explanatory. Spousal abuse and neglect.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 24
Radar gets slothed, er, slaked
Posted: 4/16/2018 12:36:49 PM
Same as LIR...first husband abusive cheater and had a drinking problem....should have called it quit years before.
Young and stupid....I'll admit it. Going through that molded my character somewhat...for the good not bad...imo.
Met my 2nd within a year.....total opposite..
There are good guys out there.
Learn from past mistakes....make yourself a priority.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 25
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never give up never settle
Posted: 4/16/2018 12:53:57 PM

Ok I've been single for 20 years, happily single after being miserably married for 20 years.

You're 43. You've been single for 20, and married for 20. I don't think we count ourselves being single starting at age 3... I would say, especially when nearing or over 30, we start it around 18 years old.

Been engaged for 7 in the past 20, kinda engaged for 4 and according to her engaged for 1.

When you're engaged, or even just an item with a gal -- you're not single. I don't see how these #s are adding up. :)

Last Oct met yet another one on pof, usual routine (I don't do coffee meet and greets nor do I date those I'm not already in a relationship with, my last 3 gfs didn't get the first date for a month). And I expected no more from this one than a weekend.

Wait -- you don't date girls you're not already in a Relationship with?? WTH? lol

Ok it's taken 4 months for her to prove herself to me and she's done so with a vengeance. 4 months because women usually only last 60 days with me so she managed to get past that, then 120 and by the 120th she'd proven herself.

Women usually last 60 days -- yet engagement rings come out of the woodwork? :) Also -- I hope you're not pen-paling as your method. That aside and assuming not doing that, having this "They need to prove themselves to me!" like you're on some game-show, still butt-hurt over past relationships -- yikes. Not good.

Settling = going steady with someone. I agree not to go steady for the sake of "having someone". That's settling. From the sounds of it, you're not ready to be an item with a gal, and frustrated about the dating scene / relationships in general.
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