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 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 1
Instant turn awaysPage 1 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
When you look at a profile or get a message, what is something that is an instant turn away for you? Be honest here.

I will say that for me its when a guy has no pics or a pic where he's in bed because then it seems to me that he just wants sex. Also, if he has a beard or is shorter than me I won't give him a second look. I'm 5'8 and a half so I won't look at anyone under 5'9. I also turn away if he has a dog in his profile pic with him because though I don't mind dogs, I'm not a pet person per say.

When it comes to getting messages, as soon as a guy calls me honey or sweetie or babe I instantly delete the convo.

Something that I do do is I won't talk to people that I don't think I have a chance with. If they are super good-looking or have a good profile I instantly think "what's the point?" and I won't pursue things. If this were real life in person I would because then I know that they've seen me and are still choosing to talk. I'm not thin, I weigh 216 pounds so even if I thought a guy might genuinely like me, my self-esteem would prevent me from embracing it. Does anyone else here think the same way as me or am I just being idiotic?
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 2
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 2:26:10 PM
When I was using this site for dating, I did not like to date anyone more than two years younger than me. I used this site for dating when I was 23-24.

my self-esteem would prevent me from embracing it
You should work on this.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 3
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 2:28:38 PM
Well, if anybody really cares, any mention whatsoever of astrological signs is a definite no for me. Our belief systems are just way too different. I do my best to tell people how to think (har har), but this is super hard to reason with. Either people understand the concept of suggestibility or they don't.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 4
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 2:29:55 PM
I cannot edit my post. I know this isn't profile reviews but I would remove the below line:

I am currently in the process of working on myself, on finding out who I am again after a longterm relationship where I kind of lost myself for a while.

This brings the self-esteem issue to light.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 5
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 2:51:48 PM
I did delete it but I think I'm at a place right now where I'm going to take a break from trying to date. I just discovered these forums and they are actually quite informative.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 6
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 3:04:06 PM
A few deal-breakers for me were men with minor children, nondrinkers, sedentary men, men who didn't enjoy air travel, religious men, and men with political views that conflicted with my own.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 7
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 3:09:58 PM
Women who weren't going to put out until they were married.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 8
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 3:21:16 PM
I did delete it but I think I'm at a place right now where I'm going to take a break from trying to date. I just discovered these forums and they are actually quite informative.

Yeah these forums are very helpful. You can always hide your profile and unhide it later.
 prettybrwneyedone
Joined: 6/1/2017
Msg: 9
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 3:23:27 PM
For me:
1. No photos, favorites your profile, then they proceed to send you messages asking you to be understanding as to why they contacted you when they don't have any pics.
2. The guys that looks like a potential serial killer, the ones that have a scowl or disturbing look on their face. I prefer men that smile, even slightly.
3. Hi, short one word messages get deleted. I would hope that people can type a few more keys and attempt to be engaging.
4. The weird default pics of one's tongue, their lower torso (and the front of their boxers).
5. Dreads, braids, gold teeth, sagging pants...no thanks.
6. Hats and shades in every pic - it makes me wonder if they're in hiding.
7. Those that state they're looking for sex/a hookup. To each their own, but that sounds like an std-fest waiting to happen.
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 10
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 4:00:01 PM
Women with kids still at home, smokers, too many tattoos, no car, short hair(some look good with it), too tall, too chubby, too far away, too slutty looking
 Canelas19
Joined: 7/17/2017
Msg: 11
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 4:08:56 PM
If they do drugs, are looking for a hook up only or have pictures in underwear. I don't like dreads, gold teeth or sloppy looks either. I don't answer if in the first message they ask for more pictures, accuse me of being catfish, drop their cell#, or make a sexual comment. Also, I prefer not to date guys shorter than me, with too many tattoos, or are younger than me (might make an exception).
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 12
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 4:34:12 PM
the more you learn about yourself, your beliefs, and where you wish to go in life....the more you learn what is a turnoff in a partner, uniquely for you. That's because you will want from a relationship, things that are different than what other people want, or need, from a relationship.

someone, for example, may only want sex, so someone seeking a relationship turns them off. and vice versa.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 13
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 6:00:16 PM
Instant turn off......................"I hate motorcycles".................NEXT!
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 14
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 6:04:01 PM
Yes, and as you go on more dates or talk with more men, you tend to figure out what you are looking for. So many times I've thought maybe I'm being too fussy so I give someone a chance that I wouldn't ordinarily and then I feel guilty about it because I just can't ignore something I knew was a deal breaker to begin with but chose to ignore.

Coming out of a longterm relationship that was horrible, when I see something that reminds me of my ex, I immediately turn away even though maybe I shouldn't have.
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 15
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 6:26:46 PM
Snow on hair big no no
Lets not forget ladies in mud dangerous stuff there
Acting all foolish yeah that is kinda of turn away no fun allowed it's dating serious stuff only.
Cleanliness is next to Godliness no messy stuff.
Perfect hair not shots like you just got out of bed even though you probably did.


Wouldn't it just be easier to eye catchers rather than instant turn aways?
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 16
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 6:42:32 PM
You are right. Eye catchers would be a much better topic.

For me, eye catchers are guys that like the outdoors, like hockey, smile in their pics and and look like they tried when they wrote their profiles.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 17
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 6:59:59 PM
EYE CATCHERS

If I were younger & single, I'd go 4 a man like Nestaron, bec. of his love for his family & excitement over a new grandchild.

There are many men in the forums I find kind, funny, smart, etc. The guy who dated flu lady is a gem, there's another guy in here who almost made me cry w/ a post he made about a meal at Valentines day.

Why are y'all single guys?

Lots of good guys in the forums.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 18
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 7:34:07 PM
having a good personality, is great for friendships. but it doesn't make the heart race, if you catch my drift.

when I was younger, my pretty female friends would occaisionally set me up on blind dates...with their average looking friends. It was a good clue as to the type of woman they thought I had a chance with--certainly, they did not want friends coming back to them with some form of, "WTF!?" If I asked about an attractive friend of their's, typically I heard some version of,

"oh, she's crazy! i'd never do that to you!"

but then they'd "do that" to some good looking male acquaintance.

:)
 DrivingHarmony2018
Joined: 2/10/2018
Msg: 19
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 7:48:43 PM
Instant turn aways:

=If a guy answers yes to drugs or smoking
=If a guy specifically indicates 420 friendly. (hate the weed smell.....super skunky)
=If a guy wants children (been there, done that, no more for me.)
=Separated men
=I know this will be unpopular, but widowers....I pass as well. Makes me sad.
=Of course, the shirtless 8 pack ab photo in the bathroom....mainly because the bathroom is filthy and the toilet paper roll is found under not the proper over
=If the guy looks unclean or unhealthy
=If a guy has a photo where he is with a bunch of women
=If the profile is negative
=If a guy takes photos with all of his alleged toys: boats, expensive cars, etc...
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 20
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 8:19:25 PM

Instant turn off......................"I hate motorcycles".................NEXT!


I don't "hate" motorcycles per se, but I don't ride them anymore. I've lost too many people who rode and just had a friend lose his leg last Christmas.

I meet a lot of women who ask about my "bike" and want to see my "ink". I have neither.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 21
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 8:38:25 PM
People that have a long list of rigid requirements or dealbreakers.
Negative profiles complaining about past OLD experiences or men in general.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 22
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 9:07:02 PM

I'm 5'8 and a half so I won't look at anyone under 5'9...


I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I'm 6'3 1/2. If you are both height appropriate, geogtsphy and age are minor issues.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 23
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 9:10:46 PM

=I know this will be unpopular, but widowers....I pass as well. Makes me sad.


Widows, particularly if they mentioned that they were married 38 years and 2 months to the love of their life. If I walk into their house and Good Ole Fred is staring at me from the fireplace mantle, I'm out of there.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 24
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 9:51:33 PM

what is something that is an instant turn away for you? Be honest here.

- She's taller than me (but technically, not if she wrote me)
- She has young kids + mentions how she's really busy, can't get out much, etc.
- She's clearly unattractive (body-size+face combo)
- She mentions how she's just trying to get by from job to job
- She's looking for her next husband (or projects being in love with being in love)
- She goes off on what she Does Not Want in Men as an integral part of her profile

Also, if he has a beard

Shoot, these are Instant turn-aways, not points-against. You sure about that? Some guys grow it out a bit, try it out for a while... I can understand not looking good for your taste, but, you should open up about that. :)

I also turn away if he has a dog in his profile pic

You don't have to be a pet person. Remember: Going out on a date and it going well does not = meshing lives with him next week. Especially if you're trying to get some "just dating" at-bats out of the way, this should mean a hell of a lot less.

Something that I do do is I won't talk to people that I don't think I have a chance with. If they are super good-looking or have a good profile I instantly think "what's the point?" and I won't pursue things.

I can't criticize that, if you're already spending a good amount of time writing guys. But, you're a girl, so it's not the same for you as for us guys, in two ways: (1) What if he writes You? (2) If he's super good looking and looks like some great catch, yeah, you can have a skeptical eye about it as far as instant-ride-off-into-sunset.... as you should... But If you were into casual dating, and you were on that level with him about it too -- you have that option moreso than us guys do. I only say this (as a side note) because you're not in position to be settling down anyway.

I weigh 216 pounds so even if I thought a guy might genuinely like me, my self-esteem would prevent me from embracing it.

Well, assuming how you measure up yourself as a girl VS other guys is more-or-less accurate... I can understand that, as far as you doing the pursuing, yes. But if a guy like that does hit you up, I would say your POV is okay if you're in a Relationship-or-Bust mode. But, as I said, it wouldn't be wise to be in that mode anyway, at this point. He probably does just want something real casual... which doesn't mean he doesn't respect you as a person, but, given your previous posts, you may not be able to emotionally handle casual-flings, FWB, booty-calls, etc. For those who can, it can be a self-esteem booster when they're down and out. Handle with caution. :)
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 25
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 10:11:32 PM
-If it openly says on his page he is not looking for anything serious etc
-smokes
-has beard
-has dead fish in pic lol
-has kids
-is into stuff that I'm obviously not
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