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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Does anyone entertain at home anymore?      Home login  
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 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 1
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I realize that this is a dating site, BUT:

I also realize that part of being a good “catch” is having one’s on happy life and circle of friends.

Soooo……….

Do any of you entertain at home any more?
And by this I don’t mean just a date.

I am asking this because after having several close friends move away, and just now recouping after a lengthy failed relationship, I would like to do more entertaining myself -- like I used to.

I have googled as much info as I could on this matter, but almost everything I could find related to millenials, or at least folks under 50. And most of these folks just simply don’t bother.

Reasons given were:
1. People don’t want to come for fear they will be expected to reciprocate.
2. Too many guests having food restrictions that hosts are tired of accommodating.
3. People don’t have manners – don’t RSPV when requested, don’t show up if they do. Show up at a****ail party with uninvited screaming toddlers in tow. Or even a dinner party with their dog.
4. Hosts are tired of preparing for parties, only to spend the evening watching people playing with cell phones.
5. Guests shy away due to no social skills. They simply don’t know what to do at a party any more. Or they can’t commit or make plans. Just hop in the car on the weekend, and drive around till they get a call re: last minute activities.
6. Everyone too busy with their own lives. Chauffeuring kids around to activities and play dates, or just being exhausted single parents.
7. Many people rather live their lives through electronic devices. Or only social life they seek is a hook-up.
8. Many people fear that a gathering might dissolve into a political “food fight”.
As for me, I do entertain, but limit my parties to pretty much couples only. Plus a few other very dear friends. (Had a few bad experiences with male attendees, wolfing down food and bailing . Yep! 55+ year old men flaking on middle aged get-to-gether because there were no “Hot Babes”.)

Or

Ladies only events, such as afternoon teas or holiday events. This works out pretty well, as most ladies are tired of events that aren’t some kind of shower. Only problem is women bringing uninvited grand kids.

Either way, I do invite a LOT larger group that I expect to attend. It used to be that when it came to invites you could expect about 2/3 of your prospective guests to make it. Now you VERY are lucky if ½ can come.

What kinds of events do you all host? Or do you? Why or why not? Do most people just prefer to meet at restaurants for “parties”? Are hosts of bar or restaurant get-togethers always expected to foot the whole bill? Any thoughts from anyone here? Any ideas for good events to host?
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 2
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/12/2018 4:03:36 PM
We had a house warming party. Invited about 20 people. 8 showed up.

I think house parties used to be a big way to meet people. Someone would give a party, and invite x number of people. It was encouraged to bring people you knew, but the host didn't know to parties. That way there was always someone new to meet.

No one seems to have those kinds of parties anymore. I have no idea why.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 3
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/12/2018 7:14:44 PM
I used to, sometimes, but I did go to parties and lots of Home Interior or Tupperware parties too. I really no longer want to meet up with people, I am partied out and I hate people just dropping by or regular dates with friends, etc. I like to be home alone or with my family, I like to shuffle off to my bedroom and enjoy the solitude.
 totally_single
Joined: 9/11/2017
Msg: 4
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/12/2018 7:34:43 PM
Girl....I would love to know the answer to this.....I've heard pretty much every excuse that you listed. I personally love to entertain at my home but have given up on it because I can't get anyone to come over. I have a great home with a nice covered patio in my back yard. A gameroom with a pool table and dart board. Also have ping pong, cornhole, badminton, washers, etc....all these great games and no one to play them with! I used to have a group of single friends that we would have game nights at different homes....but all the friends either got in relationships and don't go anywhere anymore, or moved out of town . Yes, I know...I seriously need new friends!
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 5
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/12/2018 9:38:53 PM
Take turns with friends hosting Game Night. Have them bring a dish to pass and BYOB so you don't feel obligated to feed an army that doesn't show up. Find a new board game or learn a new card or dice game. Dig out the classics. Stay away from the trivia contexts you need a PhD to answer. Mix it up. Make it a regular occurrence - every 2nd Friday of the month or something like that. You don't need a game designed for 12 people or a game that takes an hour to set up. If it's too nice to stay inside, play a yard game or road trip to a nearby minor league baseball game or something of that sort. Game night doesn't have to be strictly couples - and, frankly, I think THAT unofficial rule is where you lose a lot of your audience. Post it on Meetup.com and Facebook - and don't be too strict about who can attend. Some people may really suck at charades but can kick your butt at Bridge.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 6
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/12/2018 9:40:14 PM
I can answer this from several different angles or perspectives.

I guess first of all I should mention Meetup and Game Nights. One of my Meetup groups has regular game nights, 5 or 6 times a year. One of the women (always a woman) opens up her home. Attendance is limited (usually to 25 people). Theoretically it is first come, first served. In reality, they get to add the names of their good friends BEFORE the event gets posted online. So about half are the pre-invited, the other half is truly whomever saw the posting and replied quickly. When these events get posted, I always sign up immediately, as they are always over-subscribed, with a waiting list. And they are always a lot of fun.

I have (as a result of my sideline as a DJ) got to know some people who regularly throw real house parties. Once again, all women. Sometimes they feature music and dancing, and I am their regular DJ. Other times, no dancing, so no DJ, but they usually invite me anyway as I have become a part of their inner circle. I am one of the “cool kids” (ain’t it great?)

I have also been invited to dinner parties. Those are always carefully orchestrated. Usually 8 or 10 people, always the exact same number of men and women. Place cards for the seating. For those, I always dress appropriately, remember my etiquette, and avoid controversial subjects over dinner. Which gets me invited back again.


totally_single
I personally love to entertain at my home but have given up on it because I can't get anyone to come over. I have a great home with a nice covered patio in my back yard. A gameroom with a pool table and dart board. Also have ping pong, cornhole, badminton, washers, etc....all these great games and no one to play them with! I used to have a group of single friends that we would have game nights at different homes....but all the friends either got in relationships and don't go anywhere anymore, or moved out of town . Yes, I know...I seriously need new friends!

Damn, I just peeked – you’re in Houston? And over 50? You need to go to Meetup.com and search for HoustonSingleZoomers. I’m completely serious here. Completely. Your life is about to change for the better.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 7
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/12/2018 9:51:36 PM

Also have ping pong, cornhole, badminton, washers, etc....


Nothing gets the party jumping like some good ol' cornhole.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 8
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/13/2018 3:56:31 AM
Years ago I did entertain a wide variety of people & it was so much work, unappreciated & unreciprocated, so I stopped, period.

Now my home is reserved for the select few, inner circle people.

And my cats...
 hopefulhunk
Joined: 3/29/2016
Msg: 9
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/13/2018 6:59:16 AM
Since I got a bigger place (4000sqft+) I end up hosting half a dozen parties or so a year.
Never on purpose though...

It usually starts with a call from a friend.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing"
"Well open the door then effer"

They come in maybe with a friend, mate, or their kids...
Then someone else stops by.
Then folks see cars in my parking lot...
And.... it's a party.
Quite the mix sometimes.
Kids of all ages. Good friends. Folks I don't know but showed up with...
Good times.

If the weather is right we toss open the garage doors and turn the amps on,
have a jam or the kids play deejay.

Pile of pallets and a keg, the neighbors might stop by.
Depending how many scoots are out there...

I usually am like "naw... I'm tired just going to chill..."
But I don't mind really.
Folks are always respectful and bring booze and food or send the kids out to get some.
Never leave a mess either. Plenty of room for folks to mingle or crash if they need to.

It's a kindness. Gets me out of my head and forces me to be social.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 10
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/13/2018 10:32:43 AM
I think this is a good question, since we should have a good social safety net in order to not be a clingy partner. Also, having a social circle is a great way to meet someone's single friend. Certainly we see it in sitcoms, where friends all live in the same building and just walk in thru the front door :)

I always lived a half-hour's drive, so even before cellphones and the 'net, I got invited a lot but no one wanted to come out to my place. I suppose cellphones and Facebook has added to that--why leave the cocoon of one's house, get drunk and risk a DUI on the way home, when we fire up the game station and get our friends to play from their house at the same time. not to mention, all the reasons LuLu mentioned. it seems the only time people get together in person is taking the kids to "XYZ" practice, holidays, or a wedding. My friend's daughter had her shotgun wedding, and apparently a baby shower is routinely held at a restaurant or other "reception palace" these days. I guess it makes sense--let the pros do the job of making your get-together look as cool as everyone else's, there's more parking, and everyone feels like they got out of the house.

This winter, the wife of a friend (he works, she doesn't, it would be weird if it was anyone else) and I tried to get a Friday afternoon thing going, catching up on American Gods and BBC's Sherlock Holmes and other shows. But snowstorms and her son's schedule has gotten in the way. Years ago when there were not children, she would host Shakespeare nights, where one of the movies would be rented and we'd go to someone's home after dinner, but with potluck snacks.

I remember the days Hunk talked about. One time we're at an old logging camp up in Maine near the Canadian border, notice some lights on (no electrical power sources out there, so you notice these things) down by the river. its a family from Canada paddling thru. invite up these strangers, grab another family at another cottage we spotted on the way in, and the booze flows and we all have a good time. a large part of it is personalities, people have to be sociable, but I think the cellphone truly has made us an island. We can entertain ourselves with whatever narrow interests we have. Before that, we got, you know, bored :) So we looked up and outward and took an interest in what was going on around us.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 11
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/13/2018 10:58:25 AM
Dayna –

I know what you mean about family or solitude. I won’t guess your reasons for feeling this way, but I do know a lot of folks are just too disillusioned with tying to make friends. People seem flaky, selfish, not willing to put anything into friendship -- just receive.
You are blessed to have a family, and I sure don’t blame you for wanting to put them first. For single women who are alone, we find others busy with grand kids when the weekend rolls around.
I feel your pain, too re: Tupperware and Home Interior parties. Some are good. But lots of people get fed up with “strings attached” invites -- buy something or bring yet another shower (etc) gift. That gets old. And arouses suspicion. I recently tried hosting another ladies tea at my house for neighbors. Found out later that half didn’t show because they wondered what I might be selling. (my actual motive was to get neighbors to know each other better).


Totally –

I REALLY feel your pain. What a shame!. Great hostess, and place to entertain, but noone willing to commit to showing up. As you mentioned, like me, you are looking for more active friends. Maybe start your own meet-up group. Or join a meet-up with like minded members. Find some worthwhile folks who would appreciate you AND the facilities at your home. They’re probably out there wishing they could find some more friends themselves.
But as to your friends who are in relationships -- would they bring their SO’s with them?
I’m involved in a couple of meet-up groups and hope to start one of my own.


Jello --

These days I invite ‘way more than I expect to attend. That way I get enough. No idea what I would do if EVERYBODY showed up -- for a change. LOL. I do RSPV for teas or dinner. Good time to check for special dietary needs.
That’s a good idea of having folks bring other friends. Like a Plus 1 Party, but not necessarily a date.


O’Henry –

Several good ideas there. The thing I notice most about entertaining is that people are more likely to go to parties that are holiday events -- or are specifically tied to organizations they have joined.
I’m pretty space limited on dinner parties. Wonder if ok to set 2 tables of 4 in 2 different rooms? All things being equal. I did better with buffet style finger foods. People hung around longer.


Angel –

Yep. I don’t even expect appreciation. I just want to entertain more. But like, you, I’ll remember who became my friends, who contributed, etc.
Before my last terrible relationship, I used to be friends with neighborhood couples group. 2 couples had young kids, and lived adjacent to each other. We all met at their houses because it was hard for them to get small kids packed up. We all brought pot luck, and all shared clean up. We sat outside most of the time. I even came by their homes to help them “get ready” (clean house). Sadly, they have pretty much gone their own ways – moved, started traveling, became hermits, etc.


Hopeful –

Yes, impromptu parties are the easiest way to attract those who don’t want to commit ahead of time. I would just invite folks to come over, eat, and watch a flick. Didn’t tell them they weren’t the only ones invited. When they got there they were allowed to invite some others. That worked pretty good. People who were invited back tended to be willing to commit ahead after the first get-together.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 12
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/13/2018 1:20:04 PM
If you like dinners that are more orchestrated -
My church did a small social group setting where they had a bunch of couples sign up, and a coordinator would group them in threes or four couples - trying to get a wide age range. One elderly/veteran couple, someone who has been in the church/community a few years, and someone who is relatively new to the area. They took turns hosting a dinner over a 3-month period. It would never be a wild party-type setting, but being around people of different ages and experiences was always a learning experience. Religion was rarely the conversation topic - it just so happened to be our common link to the community.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 13
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/13/2018 1:46:00 PM

What kinds of events do you all host? Or do you? Why or why not?


I don't.
Never have.
As an introvert who values his privacy, such activities would be out of character and far too taxing.

However, I am an excellent guest anywhere I am invited, which isn't often anyway.

I am an excellent conversationalist, I don't mess up anyone's place, am respectful of their property, and I am willing to help set up before or clean up after.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/13/2018 6:21:31 PM
No, never had any problems finding friends, th problem was always getting rid of people I don't want as friends. I know, that sounds horrible, but most my life people have attached themselves to me, and I really, truly want a whole lot of solitude. I am very happy being alone most of the time, I get more than enough attention from strangers when I have to go to the store once a week. I am very polite and friendly when I am around others, but in my old age, I don't want friends.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 15
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/14/2018 9:59:54 AM

Also have ping pong, cornhole


I misread that. Thought it said ding ding, cornhole...

What kind of game room does she have?
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 16
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/14/2018 12:01:21 PM
... interesting thread ... I was recently complaining about a lack of friends my age ... I recently moved to another state, have no acquaintances, no friends but a few relatives ... when I was newly single in 1991, friends and I from church would throw BYOB parties and invite hordes of people from our separate circle of friends so there were a lot of new faces ... when I was married, I had "career building" **** tail parties for my husband's co-workers ... since I arrived in Oregon, I've hosted four parties, invited relatives and their friends ... two BBQs where we just mingled and two holiday themed parties where we played games ... they were quietly successful but I didn't actually meet anyone new in the neighborhood of my age ... I've recently reached out thru meetup.com ... we'll see how that goes!
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 17
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/14/2018 1:46:05 PM
There's one aspect of hosting or going to a party that hasn't been mentioned yet: It's the drinking and driving home after a party. In the days of being young and foolish, nobody was concerned about that-except maybe the parents of the party goer. But now, I wouldn't go to a party and drink, and I would be concerned if I was hosting a party/get together, and somebody was drinking and planning to drive home-unless someone offered to be the designated driver. I would offer a friend who was drinking to stay overnight, but not everybody would accept the offer. A lot of people would say "I'm not drunk. I can drive home." That might be true, but there's a difference between not feeling drunk and being legally intoxicated, if pulled over and required to take a breathalyzer test.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 18
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/14/2018 4:41:39 PM
No. I don't have a nice house or nice furniture and whatnot. My home is in a pretty bad state of disrepair. I spend as little time as possible here myself!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 19
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/15/2018 6:20:18 PM

TPOYD
Nothing gets the party jumping like some good ol' cornhole.

LOL. I’m not sure if this is a regional thing or what, but what she was talking about is an outdoor game, tossing bean bags trying to hit a hole in a piece of wood. NOT at all what you were thinking.


from_site_to_sight
There's one aspect of hosting or going to a party that hasn't been mentioned yet: It's the drinking and driving home after a party.

I would offer a friend who was drinking to stay overnight, but not everybody would accept the offer.

The NYE party that I DJ’ed for a few months back was about an hour north of town. The hostess invited everyone to bring an air mattress or sleeping bag and stay over. Around a dozen did. Many others got rooms just down the road at a motel.

Where there’s a will there’s a way.

spot4username
I don't have a nice house or nice furniture and whatnot. My home is in a pretty bad state of disrepair. I spend as little time as possible here myself!

Lucky thing for you that you’re a beautiful woman. I’m sure you have many invitations to choose from.

Truthfully though, I am in pretty much the same boat. I don’t spend money on furniture, and I don’t spend a lot of my time cleaning and organizing. My house suits me and my 2 dogs just fine, and when I occasionally have a guest over, they don’t seem to have any problem with it. But it is not large, not fancy, and not suited to entertaining.

In my experience, it’s usually women who like to entertain in their homes.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 20
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/15/2018 8:17:53 PM
I bumped into an excoworker this afternoon, and she found mold in her home, and tearing it apart to get rid of it exposed...how cheaply (read,half ass) it was built in '48 (probably 1948, not 1848, so its new). So homeownership can be fun at times. But I think for us bachelors/bachelorettes, residence is just a place we store our stuff that we wish would make us cool, and where we sleep when we aren't out trying to pick up someone.

of course, twenty years ago I laughed at the old pharts who swapped advice on what they were spreading on their lawns. to me, mowing was a job that took up time I could spend doing something else. Make it look perfect? what was that for. Weeding the rose garden and figuring out how to match the drapes with the couch? geez, are you people old.

now, I've reached the age, and now I understand the allure of feathering the nest. sorta.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 21
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/18/2018 3:05:54 PM
Today in our small town was Maple Syrup Fest (goodbye diet) and I bumped into the lady I had mentioned before, and brought up this post. She mentioned, without a doubt, she'd love to host parties like she used to--but having a kid was the damper. he certainly would not sleep the night and leave guests alone, his natural curiousity would have him out asking questions...like, you know, what does IPA taste like? :)
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 22
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/18/2018 6:08:31 PM
^^Having kids puts a damper on a lot of things, like doing things on the spur of the moment without a second thought, calling someone up to go out for a drink in the next hour, and having parties. People who have kids find out the hard way, that their life totally changes when they become parents, and their carefree life comes to an end.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 23
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/18/2018 9:39:12 PM
children are fun to make. then it all turns to...well, anyway :)

I can remember the good ol' days, when (some) parents would bring you along to the "Adult activities" anyway--the child standing outside the bar, ironically in the days when they didn't have a cellphone to occupy their time. of course, I also remember a time when you drove by a gas station in a rural area, and could tell it went out of business b/c the prices were lower than they are today. Now its the other way around--anything with prices near $3 a gallon went out of business recently.

It is ironic, the people who have kids so that they can have someone love them and be their friend, they learn too late the one-way street heads in the opposite direction. Like our parents tell us, don't be in any rush to become an adult, you've got the rest of your life to do that.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 24
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Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/18/2018 11:35:27 PM
I love to have people over. They're not big parties, just gatherings of a few female friends, and I have male friends over for dinner individually. For men, if I know they're not dating anyone and are alone, I do invites on holidays too. It's my choice to entertain, I'm not looking for anyone to reciprocate. I do happy hour out with friends for a different environment and fancy drinks.

You can attend house parties thru meetup.com or give them. Everyone is always looking for a house party instead of going to a bar. You can get to know people and just invite who you want. I've gone to dance parties, pool/Jacuzzi parties and game nights. I did want to be part of a "progressive" dinner party, but it never came together. Sometimes it's nice to have a friend over for a movie and popcorn. I'm looking forward to gatherings in my yard when the weather is nicer.

I would stick to smaller parties with people you know will show up. To not show up is rude.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 25
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/19/2018 4:43:42 AM
It's been a couple of years for me. I used to do occasional jams at my house with a lot of the local musicians and a huge one every year on Christmas night that always got a bit crazy. Big get-togethers for UFC pay-per-views were common for a while, but eventually, bad blood between so many people brought them to an end.
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