Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 1
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black MenPage 1 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Hello Everyone,

I have been on this website for a while, and dated some women. However, recently, I started to get some responses like, "You are a good looking guy, but you know, I do not date Muslims or Jews." or sometimes as, " I do not date Muslims or Black men.", or another time., " I am not interested in Muslims."

I think women have the right to date men with backgrounds or religions, where they feel comfortable. I am not really mad at their responses or think they are racists at all. In fact, I think their responses are fair enough.

I just wish if they could be clear about it in their profiles, so we do not bother and waste our time reading their profiles or messaging them.

Am I asking too much out of these women?

Thanks
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 2
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/22/2018 2:58:12 PM
Stating I don't date [insert group] in an email or profile is negative and tactless. That can be a dealbreaker to people that actually meet these requirements. If anything they should state what they want to date. Such as "I'm attracted to white men" or "I'm interested in dating people from the same religion."
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 3
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/22/2018 4:54:32 PM
I get what you are saying. It's a difficult topic. If you put something like "I won't date ____ or _____" you come off as racist but at the same time a lot of people are not comfortable dating outside their cultural group. And I get a lot of messages from guys of other ethnicities but I often ignore them. There's also people who you can tell in messages don't speak English as a first language. I have dated outside of my cultural group before and it just didn't work. I had a Turkish boyfriend a long time ago but his mother told him to quit seeing me because apparently he wasn't allowed to date at the age of 22, we tried seeing each other in secret a bit but I got tired of it. Dating anyone outside one's cultural group is a risk. I was a Saskatchewan farm girl and I ended up with a Northend Winnipeg(think southside Chicago for comparison) boy and the cultural differences were too much to bridge.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 4
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/22/2018 5:07:17 PM
I know in my experience, I am wary/fearful of dating men from cultures in which women are often subjugated.

I recently got a message from an Egyptian man. He seemed nice enough, but had only been in the U.S. for six years.
I started looking into the treatment of women in Egypt and learned that according to A recent U.N. report, Egypt is the "the worst for women" out of 22 Arab countries. The stats on the treatment of women there were really awful to read. Because of this, I decided not to respond to the Egyptian man's message.

I'm sorry to say it, but maybe a lot of women have these concerns, but I would never write something like that on my profile.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 5
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/22/2018 5:12:05 PM

I just wish if they could be clear about it in their profiles, so we do not bother and waste our time reading their profiles or messaging them.

Am I asking too much out of these women?


Some are, I have seen them here.

However, they also usually add a request not to be sent hate mail about it, so apparently when women do express that, they get nasty emails about it.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 6
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/22/2018 5:14:47 PM

Some are, I have seen them here.

However, they also usually add a request not to be sent hate mail about it, so apparently when women do express that, they get nasty emails about it.


This is why many people will not put this in their profile.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 7
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/22/2018 5:39:45 PM
Cinnamon_Girl, I think you hit the nail on the head with your post. I am very wary of dating someone Muslim because that religion/culture has a bad rep when it comes to how they treat their women. Watching movies like "Not Without my Daughter" has affected my perception of Muslim men.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 8
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/22/2018 7:30:29 PM
_Cinnamon__Girl_

I know in my experience, I am wary/fearful of dating men from cultures in which women are often subjugated.
I recently got a message from an Egyptian man. He seemed nice enough, but had only been in the U.S. for six years.
I started looking into the treatment of women in Egypt and learned that according to A recent U.N. report, Egypt is the "the worst for women" out of 22 Arab countries. The stats on the treatment of women there were really awful to read. Because of this, I decided not to respond to the Egyptian man's message.
I'm sorry to say it, but maybe a lot of women have these concerns, but I would never write something like that on my profile.


I respect your idea about dating. However, I wish if you widen the scope of your reading. I will appreciate if you can show us a link for the U.N. Report. On the contrary, according the U.N. Study stated, the Egyptian women number one in beating husbands.

The data, obtained from the Egyptian Family Court, shows that 66% of wives who abuse and beat their husbands apply for divorce in the Family Court.

Interesting, right. Far away from what you have read. Please see the link below

https://tribune.com.pk/story/1158555/egyptian-women-number-one-beating-husbands-shows-un-study/

It is all about the individual himself/herself, rather than his/her religion, background, or color.

julystorm7

Cinnamon_Girl, I think you hit the nail on the head with your post. I am very wary of dating someone Muslim because that religion/culture has a bad rep when it comes to how they treat their women. Watching movies like "Not Without my Daughter" has affected my perception of Muslim men.


You have the whole right for not dating Muslims or non-Muslims. However, have you ever read about the percentage of American women that are beaten up each year? The percentage of Muslim in American is between 2-3 percent of the whole population. Do you think all of these women are beaten up by Muslim husbands or boyfriends?

In the United States, one of the most dangerous places for a woman is her own home. Approximately 1,500 women are killed each year by husbands or boyfriends. About 2 million men per year beat their partners, according to the F.B.I. Please see the link below for more information.

http://www.pbs.org/kued/nosafeplace/studyg/domestic.html

Again, I respect your choice to date the man you like. However, just be honest with yourself.

If you tried to take DNA test, you may find some of your roots go back to Middle East, Africa, or India. It is so sad that our ancestors were smarter than many of us, and had relationships without problems.

I think it will be nice if a woman does not want to date outside or her background, to leave a hint about it in her profile.
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 9
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/22/2018 11:32:58 PM
Quit kvetching about what others put in their profile. Even women who date Muslims may not want to date YOU.

Omar Sharif was Muslim, and he got dates.

https://www.albawaba.com/entertainment/omar-sharif-may-not-remember-them-all-these-were-women-his-life-701958

HOWEVER, he was extremely attractive and 5 inches taller than you.

Your photos seem to indicate you may be blind and bald.

Maybe it is just an "excuse."
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 10
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 4:15:59 AM
calliopedreams

Quit kvetching about what others put in their profile. Even women who date Muslims may not want to date YOU.
Omar Sharif was Muslim, and he got dates.
https://www.albawaba.com/entertainment/omar-sharif-may-not-remember-them-all-these-were-women-his-life-701958
HOWEVER, he was extremely attractive and 5 inches taller than you.
Your photos seem to indicate you may be blind and bald.
Maybe it is just an "excuse."


I am really surprised to get this comment from a woman whom does not any photos in her profile. Omar Sharif never married any of these women. The only woman he married, was the woman who refused to have sex with him before marriage. If that type of men you are looking for, good for you. If some women are looking for men for sex purpose, I really do not mind. Everyone has the right to make his/her own decision.

If you read my post carefully, you would see I said that I dated some women here. If a woman messaged me back saying she was not interested in me, I'd still respect her opinion. I do not personalize things, and believe every man will find some women like him and some women do not. That is so normal for a man who is psychologically balanced. The person who refused rejection should be psycho and may be ended up being a stalker.

However, they stated the word "Muslim, Jewish, or Black." It does not need someone with a high IQ to understand the problem is not the man, but the religion or the background. If you still evaluate people upon their appearance, then your thinking has not developed enough compare to your age. I'd understand teenager thinks this way, rather than a woman in her 50s.

I just have a wish for women to simply be clearer in their profiles about what they are looking for, and wish good luck for all.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 11
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 6:30:59 AM
"I just have a wish for women to simply be clearer in their profiles about what they are looking for"

Instead of saying you wish women's profiles were clearer about they what they want and don't want, why don't you suggest wording that wouldn't make them sound racist, but also lets men know they wouldn't date someone of a certain culture, color, or religious affiliation. Is there a polite to put that without making it sound racist?
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 12
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 7:31:46 AM
You also have stories in that same paper like the following:

ISLAMABAD: The Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) has proposed its own women protection bill, recommending ‘a light beating’ for the wife if she defies the husband.

https://tribune.com.pk/story/1110571/name-protection-cii-bill-proposes-curbs-women/


If you tried to take DNA test, you may find some of your roots go back to Middle East, Africa, or India. It is so sad that our ancestors were smarter than many of us, and had relationships without problems.


I don't think attitude towards women is genetic, it's cultural, so one's roots isn't what is important. And if you need a DNA test to determine your roots, then the influence of Middle East, Africa, or India is obviously a minor influence. Though I guess if we go back far enough, we are all out of Africa.


It is all about the individual himself/herself, rather than his/her religion, background, or color.


I would disagree with you about that.

One's religion, background, or color help to shape who you are as an individuals. Statistically a male raised in Egypt is going to believe that women would defer to their husbands and not be an equal partner.

You as an individual may well not follow the norm for your society, but odds are that you will.

Part of my job was statistical analysis. BUT I take people as individuals and don't assume they will reflect their culture, however, if I take 100 individuals at random, maybe 80 of them will reflect what their culture would indicate one should expect.

BUT you are already an exception to your culture, as you immigrated to the USA, which most do not do. Statistical I would have to look at men who immigrated to determine how they differ from their cultural norms.

As to your main issue, IMO any negativity in a profile is a bad thing, so excluding groups based on religion, background, or color is going to turn off a lot of dates that are in one's preferred group. And people do make exceptions to what they think they want based on attraction and other factors.

So I don't think you are going to be able to make your job easier by getting people to express negative sentiments on their profile.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 13
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 7:58:37 AM
from site to sight


"I just have a wish for women to simply be clearer in their profiles about what they are looking for"
Instead of saying you wish women's profiles were clearer about they what they want and don't want, why don't you suggest wording that wouldn't make them sound racist, but also lets men know they wouldn't date someone of a certain culture, color, or religious affiliation. Is there a polite to put that without making it sound racist?


Yes, they may say something like. "I prefer white men.", "I prefer conservative christian." Many women and men who prefer to have relationships within their backgrounds, are not racists at all. We do not call women racist, because they do not want to date a vegan or sober man?

It will be nice if POF added a box in every person profile asking if s/he is willing to date someone outside or her/his community or religion, do not you think?

I also wish if women do not give responses like, "I do not date Muslims or Jews,..etc." I am not sure if this type of responses fulfill a psychological problem inside them. If they do not like the guy, just block him. That will save the time of writing response and get bothered by a response back or another message if you did not reply at all.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 14
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 8:12:38 AM
dragonbytes


You also have stories in that same paper like the following:
ISLAMABAD: The Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) has proposed its own women protection bill, recommending ‘a light beating’ for the wife if she defies the husband.
https://tribune.com.pk/story/1110571/name-protection-cii-bill-proposes-curbs-women/


I think you are not following what this topic mainly about. It is not a religious discussion. Please if you want to talk about Islam and treatment of woman, open another topic in a religion POF forum, and I will reply you back there.

However, meanwhile, here is a link from the Independent, a known British Newspaper,

Woman beaten by husband refused divorce because 'violence isn't a reason', say Israeli judges. Religious leaders described domestic violence as 'non-recurring' despite man being arrested on three separate occasions. Please see the link below

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/woman-beaten-by-husband-refused-a-divorce-because-violence-isnt-a-reason-to-end-a-relationship-a7572986.html

I brought this up just to point out that your analogy could be easily refuted. The links I brought before were from inside the American community. Please bring for us the percentage of Muslim American husbands beat up their American wives in the United States. Speaking about Turkey, Israel, or any other country is a false analogy with a wrong proposition.

Again, this topic mainly about if women could be more open in their profiles about their ideologies toward the man they want to date.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 15
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 8:49:51 AM
I actually think a box with that exact question you suggested would be beneficial:

Will you date someone outside your religion or culture?

I think it would save both parties a lot of time or effort.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 16
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 9:27:41 AM
julystorm7


I actually think a box with that exact question you suggested would be beneficial:
Will you date someone outside your religion or culture?
I think it would save both parties a lot of time or effort.


Thank you, I totally agree and respect everyone's decision.

Meanwhile, please check the 2 day ago news below. I am hoping they could help you evaluating people upon their identities, rather than their races or backgrounds. These are true events, rather than fake movies.

Man jailed for life after murdering woman he met on Plenty of Fish. Anthony Lowe changed his plea to 'guilty' shortly before his trial was due to start.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/anthony-love-plenty-of-fish-murder-cardiff-katherine-smith-online-dating-a8266146.html

Pair accused of luring teen to Hamilton Co. using Plenty of Fish dating site. Investigators say the girl called police after the men tried to get her to have sex

http://www.wlwt.com/article/pair-accused-of-luring-teen-to-hamilton-co-using-plenty-of-fish-dating-site/19506420

I wish you and everyone help good luck.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 17
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 12:35:34 PM
Guerrero
I also wish if women do not give responses like, "I do not date Muslims or Jews,..etc."

I totally agree with this. It's graceless. If there is no interest in the person who messages, why not simply not reply, or, if one feels a reply is necessary, why not use the generic "No thank you"?
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 18
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 1:02:29 PM
Well you can do as I do and wait for them to message you first, if they do, then obviously they didn’t mind what they saw...it is strange that they ask if you would date a chubby person/BBW, But not whether you’d date outside your race or religion
Good luck
 Belleatrix
Joined: 12/17/2017
Msg: 19
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 9:01:52 PM
That's crystal clear in my profile, so no one can say they didn't know. I still get messages from unsuspecting men who acknowledge what I've stated yet feel they are the exception. I think I've been around long enough to know what floats my boat, and I have occasionally met those who are not my type, and confirmed that it simply doesn't stir anything in me, no matter how charming, gainfully employed, physical attributes, etc.

I recently went out with someone who was not my type, because he asked that I give him an opportunity. He asked if he could kiss me when the night ended, and while I respect his confidence, you already started by not being my type, how far you want to push the envelope? He invited me out again, and I explained that while I had a great time, I don't see anything happening between us. He blocked me, lol. Not sure if he ever unblocked me, but I blocked him anyways, to prevent that "situation" from ever resurfacing.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 20
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/23/2018 10:13:49 PM

Stating I don't date [insert group] in an email or profile is negative and tactless.

Exactly what I thought too. You can try a non-offensive way to include it in a profile, but respond to a man "I don't date your color"? Now we got one more POF man frustrated with POF women, like we don't have enough.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 21
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/24/2018 3:32:01 AM
I only date men with a heart.
Skin color, culture and religious status doesn't bother me till other wise proven to be an issue.
I feel everyone deserves to be judged on their own merits.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 22
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/24/2018 4:22:44 AM
Honestly I think if someone really doesn't want to date a muslim, jew or black man they will just not reply.
They aren't often going to reply and be like "No sorry I don't date XYZ".
There SHOULD be a option of religious or ethnic groups you will or won't date on POF however so people don't waste their time.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 23
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/24/2018 5:13:37 AM

(Guerrero, Msg. 13) Yes, they may say something like. "I prefer white men.", "I prefer conservative christian." Many women and men who prefer to have relationships within their backgrounds, are not racists at all.


Of course they aren't. However, no matter how subtly, delicately, and tactfully, a woman states such a thing, someone will get butt-hurt over it, and throw out the accusation of "racism".

I think it's smart for a woman not to reply, or just with a bland, "Not interested.". Even then, though, some people will get all whiny and PA about it. Maybe they think they can guilt the woman into dating them?


(julystorm7, Msg: 15) I actually think a box with that exact question you suggested would be beneficial:

Will you date someone outside your religion or culture?

I think it would save both parties a lot of time or effort.


I appreciate your intent to be more inclusive, but this would deteriorate into long-winded, pointless discussions along the lines of, "What *IS* culture, manyway?", and "No religion is superior to another!", in attempts to both deflect by raising irrelevant sub-topics, and atttempting to guilt anyone who actually answers these sorts of questions, and claim the moral high-ground, often in a snotty, condescending, manner.



(sun___flower, Msg: 17)
Guerrero
I also wish if women do not give responses like, "I do not date Muslims or Jews,..etc."


(sun___flower) I totally agree with this. It's graceless. If there is no interest in the person who messages, why not simply not reply, or, if one feels a reply is necessary, why not use the generic "No thank you"?


Because, many men will wheedle and whine with, "But, why *NOT*???", leading to women simply not responding, and then some butt-hurt guy starting a thread about how women don't reply, and that's *JUST SO RUDE!!!" Face it, women can't win when they try to please everyone.


(SiennaBear2, Msg. 22) Honestly I think if someone really doesn't want to date a muslim, jew or black man they will just not reply.
They aren't often going to reply and be like "No sorry I don't date XYZ".
There SHOULD be a option of religious or ethnic groups you will or won't date on POF however so people don't waste their time.


They already exist -- they're the restrictions on who can message you.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 24
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/24/2018 5:33:36 AM
Taking into consideration how many complaints there are about not even receiving a response after sending a message why do people feel the need, both men and women do it, basically stating "I don't date people of another race." Why don't they just ignore the message.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 25
view profile
History
I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men
Posted: 3/24/2018 7:38:18 AM
Maybe the issue with someone Muslim is because of what's apparent in you. You think women should play by your rules. That's not the American way. Is there something wrong with hitting up Muslim women? Are you turned off by women of your own culture? If you can be picky, understand so can women, and they don't have to explain themselves.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > I Don't Date Muslim, Jewish, or Black Men