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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older      Home login  
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 FanOfYouToo
Joined: 2/20/2018
Msg: 1
Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years olderPage 1 of 1    
First the question than the story for anyone who wants more details. Thank you men for your opinions!

I look about 10 years younger than my actual age of 35 and people tell me this all the time. It's very common for men in their 20s to take interest in me more so than men who are 35+. A great guy has taken interest in me and I found out by asking a mutual contact that he is 28. Now I am worried he will loose interest in me when he finds out my age. We have amazing chemistry. He hasn't asked me out yet but the flirting is increasing each time I see him and he seems to be trying to get to know me more and more.

So men if you had amazing chemistry that kept growing with someone would you care or not care if you found out she was 7 years older? Thank you so much for your answers xoxo

It started out I noticed him looking at me a lot. Than when I started returning the looks he than added in smiles. Now he is lingering around me with no reason to. I always catch him looking at me and he doesn't even try to hide it and when I look he will make eye contact and smile. He also does a lot of eye brow flashing at me the subconscious kind when he first sees me. He seems super excited and energetic when he sees me and is around me. I've observed how he is around other younger women just to see if he is like this to everyone because some people just naturally are and he is not like this towards other young women. When we make eye contact I can just feel this intense non verbal connection. I don't think he knows what to say or is worried about saying something stupid because he will usually just say hi or ask a meaningless question like "do you know the time?." And than just lingers around me all smiles. I am 99.9% sure that he is into me and so I now want to give him strong signals back hoping he will ask me out or ask for my contact info. I'm just afraid of the age difference. It doesn't bother me because he acts mature. I'm just worried he will think I'm old and not young and fresh anymore than loose Interest :(
 VeeDub_EVO_III
Joined: 3/10/2014
Msg: 2
Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 3/30/2018 1:58:08 PM
Never lie about your age. No matter what your story is.
 FanOfYouToo
Joined: 2/20/2018
Msg: 3
Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 3/30/2018 2:28:15 PM
No I'm not going to lie. That's why I'm concerned. The topic just hasn't come up yet. I had to ask someone else if they knew his age and they did. That's how I know his. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm mid 20s at most.
 VeeDub_EVO_III
Joined: 3/10/2014
Msg: 4
Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 3/30/2018 3:09:13 PM
Ok... I'm going to be brutally honest with you concerning how some men think about age gaps. Myself included...

Women up to age 48 frequently message me. That's good... and I'm flattered. I'm not complaining... but here's the first thought that goes through my head...

"Why would I date a 48 yr old when 33 yr olds contact me regularly?"

Older women are a fetish that young guys get when they wanna rail their teacher or best friends mom like a p0rn star. It's an alpha male bragging right and the center of jokes amoungst friends. It's purely sexual, and long lasting relationships are not their intention usually.

You think he'll like you when you're 40 and he's 33?

Stick to guys a bit older than you or the same age for best results. I'm not saying it can never work.... I'm just saying that when he finds out how much older you are... there's a good chance you'll get demoted from "girlfriend material" to "Eh... why not? I don't have to keep her..."
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 5
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 3/30/2018 5:45:43 PM
Hi Fan! Though I'm female, I'll tell you my story. My ex-h and I were about those ages when we met, and he asked me out. He was the one that wondered if he was too young for me. We were married 15 years, but I found out he was a habitual cheater.

He does sound into you. While you may look young, I have a feeling he knows you're older than him, and may be concerned you'll shoot him down, which isn't something you want to happen at work. Try being more obvious that you're interested, maybe suggest/bring up something happening in your area to see if he sounds interested, then lead him into making plans. He should clue in and run with it. If not, no harm, no foul, egos spared. Make sure he doesn't have a gf, because he could just be doing workplace flirting, and enjoying your attention. Why no pic of yourself?
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 6
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 3/31/2018 11:56:08 AM
I agree with the above poster, he might already know your age or at least age range, especially if you already knew his. It's quite likely that he's asked other people about you too if he's really interested.

Don't worry too much about the age gap. As long as the guy shows interest in you, asks you out, you reciprocate and show interest back. Then take it from there. And don't lie about your age if he asks.

When I was active on this site, my now BF who is 5 years younger than me, messaged me and asked me out. I even had 32 year old guy asked me out despite knowing my age which is clearly shown on my profile. I don't feel the need to shave some years of my age. If any guy doesn't want to date me because of my age, so be it. Every one has their own preference, some guys prefer younger/older women, some don't take age into account at all. I know a lot of couple who live happy lives together for years and years despite the woman being older, much older.

Focus on his behaviour rather than the age gap. If he's interested in younger women only and decides to stop dating you just because of the age gap, he's not the one for you and unfortunately you can do nothing about it.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 7
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/1/2018 1:10:05 PM
About the only way to find out is to tell him your age!

The sooner you tell him, the better, then you won't worry anymore about what he might think. Even if he runs away in disgust, you will have closure. If he doesn't mind, you can enjoy yourselves.

Why don't you ask him out instead of just waiting for him to ask you?

It's difficult to believe a claim of "I look younger than my actual age" because a kazillion people make such claims. If I had a dollar for every time I've seen that in profile text or a forum post, I'd be rich!

If I met someone in real life and didn't know her age, then found out she was 7 years older than I am? I've never been with someone that much older (and therefore that age). It might indicate she takes good care of herself: exercise, good diet, not doing things that cause people do look older, etc. Maybe she would lose interest in me upon finding out I'm so young.

One issue specific to your ages: if he wants to create children, he will probably go younger. To have a healthy baby, the mother should be under 35. When the mother is 35 or older, the kid is much more likely to have problems such as autism. If he is still sowing his wild oats and doesn't want to settle, age might not be as important. Everything you describe doesn't sound serious, so long term incompatibility issues might not be in play.
 DrivingHarmony2018
Joined: 2/10/2018
Msg: 8
Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/1/2018 9:52:10 PM

Never lie about your age. No matter what your story is.


^^^Agreed.


I am 99.9% sure that he is into me and so I now want to give him strong signals back hoping he will ask me out or ask for my contact info. I'm just afraid of the age difference. It doesn't bother me because he acts mature. I'm just worried he will think I'm old and not young and fresh anymore than loose Interest :(


IMO, I don't think the age difference is a big deal. I know several couples where the woman is 6-8 years older and they look younger than their guy. So, OWN it. Be proud you are 35 and look younger. Maybe you just don't bring up age if you two start dating??? Maybe he will like the fact you are older?

If he finds out your age and does not like it, then guess what? NOT the right guy for you. Simple. :)

Good luck :)
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 9
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/3/2018 8:37:18 AM
So many women say " I look younger than my age, people tell me all the time!"
Well, most likely you dont look younger than your age, its just that you expect to look older than you are.

And if men are saying you look younger.... Its just what we say. We know exactly how old you are .

Dont lie about age. My ex lied about hers . She said she was my age but she was 4 years older. It did matter . It was a big red flag i shouldnt have ignored back then
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 10
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/3/2018 9:33:47 AM
I agree that people tend to be prone to tell others that they look younger, or slimmer, etc., so I wouldn't put much into that. Then again you might look younger, 7 years at your age doesn't really look that much different, people told mo for years and years that they thought I was younger, it's really not that big a deal unless you look 20 years younger. And I agree that he probably has a good idea that you are older than him, a lot of people find that flattery will get you in bed, but maybe he doesn't care, he is interested. Do you want him to ask you out, if so accept if he does. If the age bothers you, don't accept the date. No reason to make a big deal. : )
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 11
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/3/2018 1:31:15 PM
If he has already shown interest in you, where is the problem?
Assume he knows your age or he's already comfortable with it.
And 7 years really isn't a big age difference.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 12
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/3/2018 2:40:21 PM

The sooner you tell him, the better, then you won't worry anymore about what he might think. Even if he runs away in disgust, you will have closure. If he doesn't mind, you can enjoy yourselves.

Why don't you ask him out instead of just waiting for him to ask you?

It's difficult to believe a claim of "I look younger than my actual age" because a kazillion people make such claims. If I had a dollar for every time I've seen that in profile text or a forum post, I'd be rich!

If I met someone in real life and didn't know her age, then found out she was 7 years older than I am? I've never been with someone that much older (and therefore that age). It might indicate she takes good care of herself: exercise, good diet, not doing things that cause people do look older, etc. Maybe she would lose interest in me upon finding out I'm so young.

One issue specific to your ages: if he wants to create children, he will probably go younger. To have a healthy baby, the mother should be under 35. When the mother is 35 or older, the kid is much more likely to have problems such as autism. If he is still sowing his wild oats and doesn't want to settle, age might not be as important. Everything you describe doesn't sound serious, so long term incompatibility issues might not be in play.


Some good observations here.

I do differ slightly with ‘NEVER a lie.’ Lying about your age, could be one of those ‘little white lies’ as such. But, it can very easily poison a more serious relationship of the future (I said *CAN*). The problem comes, when you are caught point blank in your lie. How old are your kids ? I presume, in the parallel you, if you didn’t deliver them while you were still in high school IRL, the current math works out, as well as you were a legal adult in both cases. Did you have a cell phone in h/s ? He might have had a smart phone. Where were you during 9/11 ? He was in grade school. If you already graduated that Spring, have answers for, ‘what was school like for you’ ? What was your first computer ? Windows 95 ? ‘Ahhhh...errrr, I got a hand me down, didn’t upgrade to XP until later’ Or don’t get caught in the ‘Classic Mac OS’ string. Pop culture moves at a dizzying pace...check your ‘favorite shows’ and movies and remember when they aired originally/released.

I too share in this loose language of ‘I look younger than I am,’ being some hyperbole. People will often let that flow in polite company, because a more truthful ‘...25 ? Seriously ? I was going to say late 30‘s.’ Isn’t as palatable. Beyond that, sometimes it has a hidden dark slam behind the perceived ‘compliment.’ What they maybe really saying is you *ACT* like your mid 20‘s, which is not a compliment. Men get a little pass to it, in the ‘boys will be boys’ thing, but with women, even young girls...’You’re mature for your age !’ Sure, you don’t want to hear that now. But you don’t want to hear, ‘What’s wrong with you...are you still in high school ?’ I’m not saying that’s the case with you, and because none of us know you or there to witness events in real time, no way of knowing. But...I have seen examples of this. You want to look 10 years younger, not be perceived as 10 years younger (juvenile, sophomoric, irresponsible kid).

To the heart of the matter, there’s no trouble at all dating this younger man, where there is a perceived mutual interest. If I were he, and this situation existed, telling me you were in your mid 30's would be NO trouble to me. However, I don’t know how confident I’d be in it turning into a long term and/or marriage relationship. But, if this were to become serious and long term, this is the best time for you two.

You are now at the cougar zenith. These age gaps work best now, not ten or 15 years from now. They usually flings...and nothing wrong with that either. But, for serious relationship, most men, then, cira mid 30‘s to 40, aren’t looking for a serious/marriage relationship with a woman 10 years their senior with adult kids.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 13
Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/9/2018 8:14:38 AM
I agree the OP should be honest about her age. If the OP was 45 and he was 28, then the age difference could be a factor in a serious relationship due to both people possibly having different long term goals. But I don't think 35 and 28 is a big difference.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 14
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/9/2018 12:24:32 PM
OP, you never know. It could be his turn on. Don't lie about your age. Be who you are.
 KPOL52
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 15
Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/9/2018 4:26:18 PM
Per all of your posts OP, you have fallen into the biggest OLD trap of them all. The very same way that probably 95% fall. The same trap that very few will ever escape from. Forum history supports this over and over. The folks who have the most success using OLD care about what a person LOOKS like. What they ACT like. How another Human TREATS them. How another Human makes them FEEL.

NOT what year someone was born. Until this sinks in, you are likely doomed to failure using OLD.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 16
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/9/2018 8:23:59 PM
Lots of women hear the old "wow you look so much younger than your age!"

But we all know youre approximate age, we just know women fall for it all the time. Then they go around thinking they are actually so young looking.

Younger guys chase always chase the cougar at a certain point. Its fun .

Most of the time its just a younger guy trying to see if he can snag an older chick. Doesn't mean you cant go for it, just dont think its something else. We dont really think you look 10 years younger. Keep that in mind.
 sundress1
Joined: 10/29/2017
Msg: 17
Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/11/2018 7:06:38 AM

Lots of women hear the old "wow you look so much younger than your age!"

But we all know youre approximate age, we just know women fall for it all the time. Then they go around thinking they are actually so young looking.

Younger guys chase always chase the cougar at a certain point. Its fun .

Most of the time its just a younger guy trying to see if he can snag an older chick. Doesn't mean you cant go for it, just dont think its something else. We dont really think you look 10 years younger. Keep that in mind.


Yes. But women don't only get the "you look younger than your age" comment from younger men. They also get it from their peers. Men and women that are around the same age. If a 28 year old man was interested in the older woman "cougar" experience, I think he would be more likely to go after women in their 40's that are much older than him. The OP being 7 years older than him isn't a big age gap.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 18
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/11/2018 7:54:38 AM
I've always thought it a bad idea to lie.

Particularly to someone I plan to spend time with.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 19
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/17/2018 11:50:28 AM
You can (white) lie about your age -- but, you don't want it to last long. It's to weed out the "magazine flipping" Flaw that we all have when going thru profiles... and with some of course, age is a factor on it.

However, from your story -- it seems to be from Real Life. So he doesn't know your age. So yes, if he likes you, he'll still Like you, but don't lie and say you're Younger than him. Do what many gals do (and guys when they're a Lot older) -- say you're a little older, and try to keep it at that. If he presses, then say "I'm about 30-ish, I'm just going to leave it at that."

Again, this is a guy you're Feeling flirting in the workplace or wherever and he hasn't even asked you out yet. Just avoid the age thing, and roll with it. Yes, if he has no kids and wants them, it will be a downer for a LTR. And it's not a Positive in general for a sustained relationship, although it can actually be a Positive for the short-term fling thing. Just leave it at "30-ish" at the most, and just feel it out. No reason to come out with age.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 20
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/17/2018 2:40:13 PM
Yes. But women don't only get the "you look younger than your age" comment from younger men. They also get it from their peers. Men and women that are around the same age. If a 28 year old man was interested in the older woman "cougar" experience, I think he would be more likely to go after women in their 40's that are much older than him. The OP being 7 years older than him isn't a big age gap.

Being a man I know how it goes. in your 20s even a 35 year old is older and mature and an "older woman" Not 40s and higher, those are for men in their 30s.

For a guy in his 20s, 7 years is a big gap.

I hate to break it to you women who have been told you look younger..... You dont... its just that lots of women look older than they are.
 sloopketch
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 21
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Will he still be interested when he finds out I am 7 years older
Posted: 4/18/2018 8:00:29 PM
age is just a number...how two people act, react and deal with things and one another i think is the thing. would you want to be lied to?teased?led on? how serious do you wanna be?
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