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 horsesmylife55
Joined: 11/2/2016
Msg: 1
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Why? Clueless herePage 1 of 1    
Why would a guy tell u everything u want to hear, and u are getting along. Says he will txt back and totally lead u on. Then he doesn't text back. You ask questions why and he dumps u and then u find him on pof searching. I guess it was all lies.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 2
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/8/2018 6:58:47 AM
Why? Because he can.
Nature of the beast.
Shrug.............Next!
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 3
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/8/2018 7:21:11 AM
The path of least resistance is always easier.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 4
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/8/2018 8:36:28 AM
Maybe he got back with an ex. Maybe he found someone else new he considers better. Seeing how things are progressing with another prospect. Maybe he became aware of something about you that got him to lose interest. Maybe he didn't share your view that you two were "getting along".

It's quite possible he thought he would text you again at the time he said he would, then changed his mind for the above or many other reasons.

He "dumped" you? You were in an official relationship? Maybe he didn't think he was in a relationship. What did he do to "dump" you? Block your messages? Tell you it's over? Tell you not to contact him again? Ignore you?

For the zillionth time, a gal goes on POF, sees that some guy might have been on POF recently, and speaks of it as if it's a negative thing even though she is also on POF! Unless you saw him doing searches on POF, it's not possible to tell what he was doing online. He may have received new first messages and he went online to read and possibly reply to the messages without doing any actual searching. But if he did search, he didn't break any laws or violate any relationship with you because you two aren't in one. If you want him, other women probably do to.

Most people experience situations where the other person doesn't call or text anymore. Typical reaction is to shrug and walk on, and to be especially indifferent if a second message got ignored.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 5
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/8/2018 9:46:54 AM
Was there an agreement in place to be exclusive and don't talk to others after the first text message?

"Then he doesn't text back. You ask questions why..."
The problem with someone sending a "I'm not feeling it. Good bye" text is some people can't handle rejection, and end up sending a nasty hate-filled reply. So a lot of people have adopted the procedure of ignoring/blocking if they're not feeling it with someone they've contacted. It sounds like you never met the guy in real life. Isn't it better this way-instead of meeting in person and being rejected afterward?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 6
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/8/2018 9:56:55 AM
This is common with OLD. Some possible reasons why....

1. They got cold feet or aren't completely over ex.
2. They are married, in a relationship or went back to ex.
3. They went out with someone from OLD that they liked better.
4. They were never interested in you to begin with and were using OLD as an ego boost or a way to pass time when they are bored.
5. They became unavailable because of other things going on in their life.
6. They decided something that was mentioned during one of the conversations was a dealbreaker.

I think he should have been upfront with tact with OP and tell her he is no longer interested. In particular when 2 people had at 1 least date/meeting or had discussed setting up plans for a first date/meeting. Even a "white lie" is better than the disappearing act. The difference is the timing. When a person is upfront with tact, I will know sooner and can move on sooner. That being said, when a person doesn't respond to 2 consecutive texts / emails / calls, I don't contact that person any more.

Some people might also be concerned with possible backlash. However you can ignore/block the other person if necessary after telling that person you're not interested. Also the "disappearing act" doesn't always prevent backlash. Some people can get mad because you didn't respond and send you rude messages.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 7
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/8/2018 9:09:10 PM
While he's telling you everything you want to hear, he is most likely also telling other women what they want to hear.

Then if his first choice pays him attention he, drops contact with the second and third choices on his list while his first talks to him. If she ends up ditching him for her first choice then he may get back to you.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 8
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/9/2018 5:22:24 AM
Someone losing interest and breaking off contact is not a gender specific issue. There are just as many women who will break off contact with a guy if the she feels the guy doesn't meet all of her requirements. It happens all of the time. That's the nature of the beast with OLD. The OP needs a thicker skin if not getting texts anymore from a stranger sets her off enough to start a thread about it.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 9
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/9/2018 8:06:07 AM
Wrong thread.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 10
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/9/2018 6:30:44 PM
Another woman picked ANOTHER wrong guy to get to know.

Film at 11.

p.s. Did he have a smiling picture on his profile?
 sundress1
Joined: 10/29/2017
Msg: 11
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/11/2018 7:24:20 AM
Did the OP have any dates with him? If so, then I think it's tacky for him to ghost her. If not, then I don't think this is a big deal. That being said, I agree with the person that mentioned the OP could be his plan B in case his plan A (another woman) doesn't pan out for whatever reason.
 Cindy020663
Joined: 2/1/2018
Msg: 12
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/11/2018 11:52:10 AM
same thing happened to me last weekend. most guys are heartless creeps
 Tyro327
Joined: 4/5/2018
Msg: 13
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/11/2018 1:20:40 PM
Because the guy lacks integrity and proper values also don't know what you said that might have trigger a thought in his head as you might not be legit can't say what is going on in his thoughts for sure. Like was texting with a nice lady but she kept repeating things about herself like same personal information so I just stopped messaging. Not time to play with bots anymore maybe he thought you were to good to be true hence bot hence done toying, or he could be nothing more than a flake. Better to find out sooner than later and be thankful for it being so early in communication is always a bonus.
 oneofthefew13
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 14
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/14/2018 7:26:55 AM
I'm going to say he moved on because he wasn't going to get any sexual action any time soon, and decided to look elsewhere for someone who would give it up to him easily. When someone tells you everything that you want to hear and it seems to good to be true, there's a extremely high likelihood that it is and he told you these things in hopes of getting into bed with you from the start.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 15
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/14/2018 9:39:00 AM
Hmmm, did you even meet?

Or was this a 'text' relationship?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 16
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/14/2018 4:00:47 PM

Shrug.............Next!

That's what He said (first). Hence, OP's confusion.

Why would a guy tell u everything u want to hear, and u are getting along. Says he will txt back and totally lead u on. Then he doesn't text back. You ask questions why and he dumps u and then u find him on pof searching. I guess it was all lies.

Usually -- no. He's usually not Lying, and he usually doesn't find out something wacky/crazy about ya out of the blue, if you can't point out anything he would. So... what is it?

Well, it'll Kinda make you feel better thinking he was lying this whole time. I say Kinda, because it's to make him look the worst. Kind of like envisioning our Ex embarrassingly naked in front of a crowded room, and focusing on their flaws. It makes us feel better.

So if you're Actually wondering the "Why?" -- most of the time, it's in-the-moment. You have a great chat, he/she says all the great things -- You get really Giddy about it -- then "poof" they disappear. It doesn't mean they were lying. Not at all a requirement. Just like you shouldn't get too caught up into it off an initial convo or two -- neither should they... and they were. They came down to earth. They were lonely, talked, no motive to manipulate or anything like that. Otherwise, they'd just be wasting their time. But in the Moment, they weren't.

It happens to us all the time, say, mingling after having some drinks, at the bar. We exchange #s with someone, we Really like them after a long fruitful conversation.... we text each other goodnight after we part ways from said restaurant/bar.... but then after that -- they're not talkative, busy, and they fizzle out. WHY?! Was she lying to me?? I didn't even get a chance to make an a$$ of myself yet! :)

No, she was caught up in the moment, like we all can be. It's an unintentional thing people do, that's done far more than society gives credit for. Even for non-dating but social things.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 17
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/15/2018 10:36:45 AM
There's a few guys who probably think I'm a jerk but what happens is when someone messages me, I'm polite and kind and enter a conversation, not really interested but when there's no one else online I'm talking to at the moment, I'll let the conversation go a little while. I figure, maybe they'll say something interesting at some point and maybe I'll like talking to them but most of the time I realize the person just doesn't interest me so I say goodbye nicely and next time they message me I either ghost them or I give one word answers and I become a purposefully bad conversationalist so they either lose interest or realize I'm not too interested.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 18
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/25/2018 8:43:39 AM
Why ask WHY? If a man doesn't text you back, that is your answer already. He has lost interest.

If you chase them asking them why they did not text you back on whatever device his thoughts maybe are that you are somewhat demanding. A text asking why they didn't text can look like desperation.

I don't play hard to get games. If I want to end contact with someone I tell them once, after which I would just ignore them. He "dumped you" in your mind and now you are chasing him again searching on pof to see if he is searching. That is not healthy for you.

I think you should just stick a fork in this one. He is done.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 19
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Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/25/2018 10:08:58 AM

same thing happened to me last weekend. most guys are heartless creeps


The group of guys here are not most guys. Touché!
 VeeDub_EVO_III
Joined: 3/10/2014
Msg: 20
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/28/2018 10:19:15 AM
I thought the explanation would be obvious... but whenever people cease contact on POF, it's usually because they've encountered somebody else they're even more attracted to.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 21
Why? Clueless here
Posted: 4/29/2018 5:04:44 PM
He spotted a deal-breaker somewhere, or something you said turned him off. It could have been anything. Maybe it was about something he knew you couldn't change, so he felt there was no point in telling you what it was.

OLD is not for the thin-skinned; if rejection hurts you this much, it's probably not for you.
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