Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Forum Wisdom?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 KPOL52
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 1
Forum Wisdom?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Spend enough time at these Fish Forums, and one is bound to learn something unless one sticks to just one Forum or is a 90/10 poster. 90% of time spent typing responses and 10% reading.

CORRECT? Maybe not. What is the most important or "eye opening" thing you have learned through participating here?

If you don't like the word "learned" for some reason?

How about this. Has there ever been a thread or threads you participated in or at least READ that caused you to change your SOP concerning OLD? And did that change your OLD experience for better or worse?
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 2
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/11/2018 7:59:54 PM
Well I still have my POF quote book from when I used to be on here more. A lot of people are long gone but their wisdom stayed with me. :) Nothing very eye opening other than everybody wants the same thing - to find the big love, and to get as much as possible for as little as possible, in no particular order.
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/11/2018 8:00:16 PM
I have learned that "your mileage may vary".... and "opinions are like farts, everybody has them but not all of them have to be aired in public"....


yeah, I'll have to think about a few things here... I'm sure the usual offenders (**wink wink**) will chime in before I get back...
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/11/2018 8:44:53 PM
Best teacher=Cowboy
"Nothing is real until you meet"
"Nothing matters but what you find in your inbox"

Best Example=LilliMarleen
"Be positive / stay positive"
"State who and what you are seeking"

With no credit to anyone in particular, although this has been mentioned,
Let loose, have fun, there are no rules, be adventurous!
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 2:19:55 AM
What have I learned?

That out of the regular posters very few date or have been with another person in years - in some cases a decade or more. Reading a bunch of incels giving advice is eye rolling.

Yet here they are giving dating, relationship, and sex advice. Advice about meeting a man/woman when they haven't done it in so long they have no idea how it even works anymore. And yes, it is not the same as it was five, ten, twenty years ago.

Some I laugh at but some I pity.

I have also learned that a lot of the regulars can't tell a troll from a hole in the ground. They will feed the trolls endlessly.

There is wisdom in here from the ones who are happily coupled up and/or dating in the real world. As with all advice take it with a grain of salt. What is correct for one is not correct for all.
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 6:10:35 AM
Personally, I don't think there is too much widsdom here anymore. More like just a bunch of know it alls, who know jack squat. This place was wayyy better back in the day.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 7
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 7:50:40 AM
that i'm correct? :)

I've learned in the political forum how certain people think. I may not agree with it, but its always good to get a second opinion on things. And a few times I've had to research what someone has said, and learned that way as well. I've also learned (from this forum and another) that "Those people on the net" are no different from people one meets in real life. They may be more bold in expressing their opinion, but people say on a computer what they think in real life.

also, perspective is everything. someone living in a densely-populated area has a better range of options, and they'll think that's true for everyone. And vice versa. What works easily for one person, doesn't automatically translate to others. Blanket statements have to be considered relative to the situation of the stater. Some posters are like the blind men experiencing an elephant...they aren't intending to lie, they just don't realize the limits of their observation.

finally, I learned that if one keeps pointing something out...smart people will finally get it and begin repeating it themselves :)
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 10:08:23 AM
I have learned so much from stumbling through life making mistake after mistake, it took a whole lot of pain and hurting my children for me to get to where I am. If someone thinks I am too stupid to take advice from, then skip my posts, or laugh at me LOL just because I figured out that I am not meant to be in a relationship, doesn't mean I can't give good advice. I've always learn from listening to others, I may not agree with some, but I know I don't know everything and I don't have to like someone to learn from them. Just when I think I know it all LOL someone points out something I never thought of.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 9
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 11:36:55 AM
OP



What is the most important or "eye opening" thing you have learned through participating here?

Not much other than..."Opinions are like arseholes..everyone has one"

I have to say...I was glad to not have frequented the forums when I first started online dating.
So...I didn't think of someone else experiences or perceptions. It may have tainted the experience for me.
I met lots of people...met in a public place, they asked/I asked...they paid or I paid.....it was "fun"
Choices with no regrets...K...there was that "one"...

I don't think anyone's opinion/advice on dating is any better than anothers...especially if they're a serial dater. If their goal is "sex" as a happy ending...not for me. That's the easy part of dating.
We all are so different...personalities, lifestyle, intellect, wants/needs.
Sure.....I give advice from my own experiences and thoughts.
One can choose to take it or leave it.

I have learned long ago some people don't want advice about anything.
One other thing I grimace at is too much "sharing" happens on here....but that's jmo.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 11:49:22 AM
I miss Cowboy....he was one of my fav.
For me....
I"ve healed more than learned about OLD.
The "poems and quotes" thread have been my home
for many of years.
I too miss the good old days.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 11
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 11:58:58 AM
One thing I learned is that it would be incredibly beneficial to those wanting to date from this site if there was a requirement to be a forum participant. It would certainly give a better early insight into personalities without having to wait the usual starry eyed/hormonal period where the majority of people in real life aren't portraying who they really are. You're not going to get it from a quick meet and greet after a couple of quick PMS. The forums "can be" an even better window into people's inner thought processes they don't or won't necessarily relay face to face in the short term.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 12:23:16 PM
I've learned a lot about how others' lifestyles and locations vary so much more than I ever realized.

Just for instance:
Coming from a location with a population of over 7.65 million (DFW area) it's shocking to learn that others may have as few as 2 or 3 singles to choose from. Even a limit of 3 or 4 hundred would be pretty tough for me.

However, I must admit, having no one is the exact same thing as having no one. More choices does not necessarily lead to finding THE ONE. Anyone can be lonely in a crowd.

Flip side of the coin: How much we are alike. So many reporting similar dating horror stories. People pulling the same crap on each other worldwide. Feeling glad to know that I'm not the only one that gets annoyed by the same things that annoy others.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 1:12:22 PM

Forum Wisdom?


Is that one of those "oxymorons" like "Government Intelligence"?



What is the most important or "eye opening" thing you have learned through participating here?


Not learned.
Merely confirmed what I already knew all along, through concrete examples.

There are a lot of shallow people out there.
There are a lot of dumb people out there.
Most people are their own worst enemy.
Most people can't see the forest for the trees.
There are a lot of losers out there.
There are a lot of enablers for the losers.
A lot of people are good at giving advice, but don't even take their own advice.
Common sense is uncommon.
Logic is in short supply.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/12/2018 2:41:46 PM
I had to learn that dating is not an option. If I had two or three to choose from, I think I'd faint dead away.

I couldn't stand to live in a large city, and be able to hear the toilet flush next door. Life in a closet is not my idea of living.

Since I'm a seldom dater, I'll only pass along what I do know. Plenty want to advise, but none know the lay of my land, and their methods would never work here.

Women won't answer a direct question asked of them, no matter how many times you ask it. But I guess I expect it from them. After all, they think there's a huge difference between loving someone, and being "in love" with someone. If they can split the hairs like that, then I'm smarter to stay away from that kind of thinking.

People assume too much. What works for them will work everywhere. That men don't get discouraged about writing messages, or asking women out. At some point in time, one must decide to say when, and accept what is.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 12:41:28 PM

Women won't answer a direct question asked of them, no matter how many times you ask it. But I guess I expect it from them. After all, they think there's a huge difference between loving someone, and being "in love" with someone. If they can split the hairs like that, then I'm smarter to stay away from that kind of thinking.


What is this "direct question" you can't seem to get any woman to answer no matter
how many times you ask it?
 Tyro327
Joined: 4/5/2018
Msg: 16
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 1:20:50 PM
I might have no clue until a situation arises where things said here might be used in a situation that has me stumped later no clue as of right now. I have read things that I stored for later use if that is what you mean but it won't change the way I am or how I think about OLD either. I came into the forums with open mind and admittedly knew nothing and allowed myself to absorb a lot what the future holds is well unknown. People who walked in here with a closed mind learned nothing because they didn't want to learn anything they know everything about everything and your opinion is of no use to them cause they are already ignoring it. That is on them no one else if people aren't grabbing what they need to better themselves that sounds like a them problem can't force them to learn it or try it when something is not working.

Only test of time will tell me forsure if anything was useful to me in the sense of dating, or relationships later in life but at as of this very moment only one thing I was the minor glitch in my messaging. It was something I totally forgot when it came back to me responses increased and so did initiated messages. It was triggered by a discussion on forums I was about to say it on here went oh crap I knew something was off I didn't like went and started messaging. Finished my response and before I sent it had 6 responses one's own flaws can be something so tiny as forgetting a little thing on a message and it makes a world of difference.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 17
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 4:25:55 PM
I like that this is a co-ed forum. I spend so much time around women that I don't really ever hear men's take on things. And many of the women give some sage advice on dating in today's world and their experiences.

I wish I would have found the forums before I started dating. I may have went in more prepared.
 KPOL52
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 18
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 5:31:08 PM
I started here just a few years after the inception of this site. While a lot has changed one thing remains constant. One of then first things the Forums demonstrated to me was that the folks with no luck or the worst luck had one thing in common that went hand in hand with attitude. They simply refused to change their ways. ANY of their ways. They would take no responsibility whatsoever for their lack of success. Did not matter that many women and men with far lesser "looks", who perhaps lived in some tiny little town WERE having some success. And had no reason to lie about it. That part is still true today.

Pot Meet Kettle also. It seems only the tiniest percentage of Forum participants over the years has even the slightest grasp of that concept.
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 6:38:41 PM
Fairly new here...but, I think for the most part people that are resorting to the forums are really only seeking to have their own thoughts validated.


one thing remains constant. One of then first things the Forums demonstrated to me was that the folks with no luck or the worst luck had one thing in common that went hand in hand with attitude. They simply refused to change their ways. ANY of their ways. They would take no responsibility whatsoever for their lack of success. Did not matter that many women and men with far lesser "looks", who perhaps lived in some tiny little town WERE having some success. And had no reason to lie about it. That part is still true today.


Yes, this is clear as a bell.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 6:54:39 PM
Maybe some people just need someone to talk to?
Maybe they're interested in other people's experiences.
Maybe it's just a past time.
Maybe some people shouldn't take themselves or their condescending oponions so seriously.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 6:58:54 PM

.................people that are resorting to the forums..............


Well to be quite honest, I would much prefer a warmer climate, a bigger white sandy beach, you know to dig my toes into and more drinks with the cute little umbrellas. ....................Since you mentioned it.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 7:47:04 PM
In the forums everything's a big deal. Everything! How you dress, who pays, where you meet/how you get there, text or phone, what constitutes a date/relationship and on and on.
While dating I didn't really experience any of this and reading all this may have scared me off OLD.
Some wisdom in here, some disappointed people, some naive people, just like in real life.
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/13/2018 8:45:45 PM
I came on the forums soon after I started OLD because I was ghosted after a month of dating this loser. Looking back, it was good riddance. But I felt hurt and frustrated at the time.

Reading the posts was very helpful to know that my experience wasn't unique. I learned a lot about OLD and dating in general until I met my BF on here. The advice on the forums positively changed my views on a number of things including human nature. Since then I've been on the forums to help new forumites the way others' posts have helped me. It's a way to repay the kindness and advice I recieved on here.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/15/2018 6:29:27 AM
The forums have put a few things in perspective. I have realized that negative experiences are not uncommon and a person really shouldn't hold themselves completely responsible for having some. I've also put into perspective what a numbers game dating is during one's later years (post-50). If I were younger and reading the forums, I would have gleaned that it was important to work at maintaining a partnership to avoid looking for a partner later on. I also would have gleaned that it's perfectly reasonable to not seek a partner - partnership truly is not all I used to believe it to be.
And one of my favorites is the oft-use phrase that nothing is real until you meet. As others do, I see the profile photos of others in my area, however, they are females rather than males. So many are stunningly beautiful model-like photos. Thing is, I've lived in this city a fair number of years. It's large, granted, but I am left scratching my head at how it is that there are so many beauties on here, yet I don't often see one IRL. To be sure, they could be busy working in enclosed office spaces, etc. It just leaves one curious and makes me wonder about the facades that some may put up.
All in all, I'm content that I'm no longer in pursuit. It is a relief to focus on other matters.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/16/2018 5:47:32 AM
One of the best lines of wisdom on here is "Luck favors the bold", a line I associate with Cowboy. Was already aware of that philosophy, but it's good advice in many situations here.

Learned the term "time vampires" here, another phrase I associate with Cowboy.

My first time reading the forums was the local events in my state. Quickly learned I need not attend the events, as they mostly seemed to be for 50+ year old Harley riders who all know each other. Knew especially to avoid any event hosted by the region's dysfunctional "queen bee".

My first participation here (under a previous user name) showed these forums had (ideally the past tense is appropriate) some losers who apparently had no friends in high school who try to play the role of cliquish bully by attacking new users no matter what the new user says. One of my first posts resulted in multiple hateful posts by one of the "elders", who among other things tried to bash my photos. She looked like the world's oldest and ugliest whore, so she's the last one who should try to criticize other people's photos. Perhaps she's frustrated because she wants grandchildren and her son is a loser who can't find a mate, and she views me as a threat because she knows girls would choose me over her nerd son?

Thankfully it seems like there's not as much cliquish ganging-up as there was a few years ago. At least the losers can't go crying to Alison anymore to have her ban posters who say something they don't like.

The profile reviews section, both the profiles and people's suggestions, shows repeated common patterns in profiles to avoid, so if your profile has anything in common with those common pitfalls, it's best to remove them. A phrase occurring in many profiles will get viewers to roll their eyes even if it's a bad phrase, so avoid saying what large numbers of other people say. Of course bad text doesn't matter if you have a great photo, and the best text won't save anyone with no photo or a bad one.

Not sure if reading forum posts changed my OLD experience. Can't remember any ideas for photos or profile text, and can't remember messaging anyone I wouldn't or vice versa. My first contact messages are shorter than when I began, but that would probably have occurred anyway had I not seen various forum posts recommending shorter messages.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Forum Wisdom?