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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Possibly getting into a FWB situation      Home login  
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 83austin83
Joined: 7/24/2017
Msg: 1
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Possibly getting into a FWB situationPage 1 of 1    
Okay, so not a dating question in particular, but a question I am hoping to get some help with.

Yesterday I saw a woman on POF who had no qualms about essentially saying she was looking for a FWB (or FB, whatever term you want to use). Her profile had one picture. She indicated that she preferred talking via e-mail as compared to on the site here. I think she knew her profile would probably be deleted soon (and it was). I decide to bite and give her my e-mail. At this point I figure she's some sort of bot like most are and will just send some short message directing me to some website.

To my surprise she sends me an e-mail that does have her name from her profile on it. The e-mail has no link but a short paragraph. I am going to put on here what she sent (I will be eliminating information that could identify the woman):

"Hello babe. I got your E-mail on POF. I am ****, **** **** active fun girl to be honest, I am single Looking to get back to having fun and I will enjoy all that a man can offer. I Love to explore I'm very willing to try new things. I'm Looking for my match when it comes to adventures and explore sometimes in bed. I want someone to teach me or to learn together with and beside that I play softball in my spare time, I don't smoke but drink occasionally. I like hikes and I love to travel. Can you tell me more about you and are you into friends with benefits? btw where do you live? I hope to here from you soon and btw this is me.."

She did attach 3 additional pictures that did match her profile. They were of course a little provocative but not crazy. None of them were completed exposed, 2 butt pictures and 1 slightly exposed picture.

So here's my point, I've never done the whole FB or FWB thing before. At this point I've pretty much given up on dating. I've never really had any luck with dating and I don't have the social skills for dating. I know that I will be single the rest of my life, so I will need to find companionship another way. With that said, I've never even thought about doing the whole FB or FWB thing before and I'm a little nervous about it.

From the above message and overall situation, do you think she's legit or do you think this is still some woman trying to pull something on me? On a subsequent message she indicated wanting to either meet at my place or a hotel, as her place has roommates and she doesn't want them knowing about this lifestyle. I figure this could be true or she could conveniently be protecting herself, letting me take all the risks. I'm very torn on this, part of me wants to pursue it and part of me (the part that has always been overly cautious) does not. What do you think?
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 2
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/22/2018 10:40:18 AM
I get these ALL the time... Damn!! Be careful.
Could be first steps in a scam anytime they steer you away from POF messaging...
That also why her profile disappeared from POF...

Reverse search her pic to see if in comes up anywhere else. Google her name...
At some point she'll want you to sign onto a website with your Credit Card for "verification"
that you're safe before agreeing to meet. That's when your headaches begin...

Keep chatting, but be ready to drop it...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 3
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/22/2018 11:10:12 AM
A big +1 to the above. I have had so many of these I have lost count.

Always remember these 3 things:

1) nothing is real until you meet
2) if it sounds too good to be true,
3) never give your credit card info

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 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 4
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/22/2018 12:08:13 PM
I don't watch Dr Phil...................however I watched a few clips the other day on You Tube. I was absolutely flabbergasted, with the few clips of shows where Dr Phil reveals the true identity of "women" (profiles using false identities / voice overs) on dating sites that these men "fell in love with".
The one man sent over 200K to get his "fiancé" home from overseas.
The internet is full of fakes, spammers, scammers. I'm leaning with the others. Why jump off an OLD site, why profile deleted???????????? I smell a skunk!
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 5
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/22/2018 12:24:37 PM
meet in public first, like maybe even the hotel bar (you pick the hotel, not her, in case she's working with someone there). feel out how real it feels to you. with summer coming along, maybe you two can make out in a dark corner or in a secluded part of a park, so its not public, but not too far away to scream for help. Unfortunately this is a scenario where you do have to take a little risk, but yes, it can actually be true (usually they are married). Don't do any bondage, don't go to a place she knows (unless you want a video of it to show up on the internet and never leave). Personally I suggest a hotel, so she doesn't know where you live, and of course, don't bring any more credit cards or ID you need, always watch your beverage glass, don't eat or drink what she brings.

and obviously, use condoms and dental dams for oral.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 6
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/22/2018 1:55:36 PM
No she sounds weird and incoherent almost. Seems weird she says "active fun girl to be honest" like what is this? sounds weird to me. The loving to explore thing sounds weird too. She sounds like a hooker or a fake/scammer
 BretIAm
Joined: 3/25/2018
Msg: 7
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/23/2018 6:49:07 PM
Sounds like she's catfishing.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 8
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/25/2018 8:56:18 AM
Women don't call guys babe. It's a guy, be careful.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 9
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/25/2018 9:23:57 AM

To my surprise she sends me an e-mail that does have her name from her profile on it.

Takes 2 seconds to set up an email with any name you want. Scammers prefer email as it leaves less evidence than an online website, but emails are traceable so i suggest your first step is to see where these emails are coming from. I'm not going to give out any more additional info on a public forum of where scammers fail, even if they use a proxy IP, but i think you will find their first mistake when you trace their emails.


The e-mail has no link but a short paragraph. I am going to put on here what she sent (I will be eliminating information that could identify the woman):

"Hello babe. I got your E-mail on POF. I am ****, **** **** active fun girl to be honest, I am single Looking to get back to having fun and I will enjoy all that a man can offer. I Love to explore I'm very willing to try new things. I'm Looking for my match when it comes to adventures and explore sometimes in bed. I want someone to teach me or to learn together with and beside that I play softball in my spare time, I don't smoke but drink occasionally. I like hikes and I love to travel. Can you tell me more about you and are you into friends with benefits? btw where do you live? I hope to here from you soon and btw this is me.."


Babe, women tend not to use this term, nor hun, or any other affectionate terms that are popularly used by disrespectful men.
The english is ok but not quite right and i suspect this person does not use english as their first language. Nothing wrong with that per se but maybe this person is really a nigerian prince.
They just dotted their hobbies in randomly? Why? Seems like a rushed spam mail to me, i did google it as i suspected they use this message in a lot of places but nothing turned up for me.
They don't even know where you live yet wanna be FWB? Ok...


She did attach 3 additional pictures that did match her profile. They were of course a little provocative but not crazy. None of them were completed exposed, 2 butt pictures and 1 slightly exposed picture.


Most genuine women have loads of pictures online, it'd be easy to download them. The person messaging you may also have traded pics with someone to get these pics. Unless there was dirty chat with those pics then a woman did not send them probably. See if women want you they will really let you know, but a guy won't put much effort in as he may feel uncomfortable dirty chatting to another guy and so won't do that.


So here's my point, I've never done the whole FB or FWB thing before. At this point I've pretty much given up on dating. I've never really had any luck with dating and I don't have the social skills for dating. I know that I will be single the rest of my life, so I will need to find companionship another way. With that said, I've never even thought about doing the whole FB or FWB thing before and I'm a little nervous about it.


Go for it. A lot of genuine women would be up for that. It's unlikely they'd message a guy randomly and take him off site to do that though. They found a patsy and swooped, they'll probably have loads of accounts on here so it's no big deal to delete the one that found somebody.


From the above message and overall situation, do you think she's legit or do you think this is still some woman trying to pull something on me? On a subsequent message she indicated wanting to either meet at my place or a hotel, as her place has roommates and she doesn't want them knowing about this lifestyle. I figure this could be true or she could conveniently be protecting herself, letting me take all the risks. I'm very torn on this, part of me wants to pursue it and part of me (the part that has always been overly cautious) does not. What do you think?


Honestly. Defintelydo not spend any money on a hotel, in fact if they start talking about you spending money on anything i would delete that email account they messaged you on as it's now gonna be flagged as open to being conned.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 10
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/25/2018 5:21:24 PM
Be mindful of using protection and be careful about STDs.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 11
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/25/2018 7:20:54 PM
I get these in my gmail spam box... I even responded to one that sorry I'm not guy... Got an even more interested message back. Concluded they're sent by robots.
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 12
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/25/2018 10:37:16 PM
Maybe it is a scam, but so what? Maybe it is not. Invite her to meet for ice cream at Baskin Robins or somewhere for pizza. That is very inexpensive and takes up very little of your time. If she shows up and you like her, then or later invite he to your home. Unless she is an ax murderer (1 change in a 100 million) it is not possible that knowing your name and where you live can harm you. If by chance she asks for money, tell her that right now your finances are such that you don't have it, but you might be about a spare a ten ($10) if that would help.

If you end up buying a pizza and giving her $10 then she disappears, so what? That is less that going on date and buying a girl dinner, after which she doesn't want to go out with you. Therefore, take a chance, you are not going to be out any money or much of your time if she is not legit.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 13
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/28/2018 7:35:10 AM
Its more than likely a scam. Generally, it is not a good idea to invite a stranger to your home or let them know where you live or to give them money. Not good advice.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 14
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/28/2018 8:48:04 PM
It’s scam. Women don’t need to go on dating sites to find sex. Even the hookup sites out there are scams- messages sent by bots, not real women. If you tell them they’re obviously a catfish or a scammer, they’ll leave you alone.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 15
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/29/2018 3:35:29 AM

Maybe it is a scam, but so what? Maybe it is not. Invite her to meet for ice cream at Baskin Robins or somewhere for pizza. That is very inexpensive and takes up very little of your time. If she shows up and you like her, then or later invite he to your home. Unless she is an ax murderer (1 change in a 100 million) it is not possible that knowing your name and where you live can harm you. If by chance she asks for money, tell her that right now your finances are such that you don't have it, but you might be about a spare a ten ($10) if that would help.

If you end up buying a pizza and giving her $10 then she disappears, so what? That is less that going on date and buying a girl dinner, after which she doesn't want to go out with you. Therefore, take a chance, you are not going to be out any money or much of your time if she is not legit.


This is a very legit response. Although there are many ways to go about it, as everyone is an individual you have no idea until you meet.



Be mindful of using protection and be careful about STDs.


I could not have put it better myself. This is right at the top of the list with safety! Cause given the circumstances, it is almost impossible to predict what is going to happen but if the opportunity arises that is one are to be very concerned about.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 16
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Posted: 4/29/2018 7:39:19 AM
This smammer/bot sounds exactly your kind of gal.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 17
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Posted: 5/1/2018 5:43:20 PM
You got one of those obvious scammer messages and you thought "oh boy its my lucky day!" ? You didn't think it was fishy ?

Well to be honest I have some magic beans, PM me for details.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 18
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 5/2/2018 2:01:39 AM
It is a straight up scambot. I smell it all over the email as if it was sour milk. Don't do it.
I understand about being desperate, but do you really want to be desperate AND broke?
You will have more luck finding new hobby groups in your area and trying new things around town to see if you enjoy them.
It kind of worked for me, a little, I guess... Even if it doesn't work all the way, learning a new skill is worthwhile endeavor in itself.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 19
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 5/2/2018 2:22:09 AM
UPDATE: I got one in my email right now! I am bored so I am messing with it. It has pretty standard lines so far. Unfortunately, I don't think a human is on the other side.
I am sad face :(

I heard that they made a bot that can speak ok English.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diMl3Nro9lQ

Why can't they invest in good technology for once!?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 20
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Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 5/9/2018 7:07:30 PM
sounds like a scam to me but get her to meet you in the flesh for a drink and then see how she reacts. If she prevaricates move on.
I would not get too worked up over someone you have yet to meet. Just dont give her any money. lol!
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