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 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 1
DivorcePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Women divorce their husbands because they THINK they can do better, but that is usually a poor decision especially if they have children.
Men divorce their wives because they have already found a replacement. However, if they have children that means they lose their children because without custody the children are theirs in name only. It's like having title to a house that another person lives in rent free.
 BretIAm
Joined: 3/25/2018
Msg: 2
Divorce
Posted: 5/1/2018 6:30:41 PM
Or maybe men and women divorce because they married for the wrong reason(s), one person lacks individual identity, there is no shared vision of success, the intimacy disappears, financial reasons, they are unable to resolve conflicts, or other reasons no relating to having someone on the side.

Just my $0.02.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 3
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Divorce
Posted: 5/1/2018 6:35:13 PM
To Kelly, And you know this .....how?

I divorced my husband, so my children and I could be safe.....AND I wouldn't go to jail for murder.
I certain thought THAT would be BETTER!
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 4
Divorce
Posted: 5/1/2018 7:04:40 PM

And you know this .....how?

Ladyinred, granted 3 people is a very small sample. However, I know 2 men and one woman that got divorced. Both men, a doctor and a contractor both immediately got remarried; I assume, but don't know, they were already having sex with the women. The plump mid thirties woman was a secretary and believed the flattery from men visiting her boss when they told her things such as "Your boss sure knows how to hire pretty women." She may have been pretty when she was twenty, but certainly not when she divorced her husband.

Of course you will justify your actions, but that reason is so improbable, I don't believe you. Women blame their husbands; never themselves. I know that from reading the forums. Very few men on the forums, say anything about why they got divorced.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 5
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Divorce
Posted: 5/1/2018 7:22:40 PM
Well in reality, women initiate over 75 percent on divorces and most women have a back up plan (guy) who is just a friend.

Women divorce because they feel that they can get a guy with more resources and status.
Men leave women because they cant put up with the woman or feel they can get a better looking one.

Either way , lots of people divorce because they rushed into marriage and settled .
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 6
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Posted: 5/1/2018 7:32:02 PM
Well Kelly, Whether you believe me or not is nether here nor there.
Carry on, wearing your rose colored glasses.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 7
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Divorce
Posted: 5/2/2018 4:27:44 AM
Obvious troll is obvious.

*yawn*
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 8
Divorce
Posted: 5/2/2018 5:41:47 AM
^^^
Obvious troll is obvious.

*yawn*


+1

Troll in disguise as 19 yr old know it all~
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 9
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Divorce
Posted: 5/2/2018 11:59:39 AM
I'm always suspicious of newbies that can use the quote function better than most.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 10
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Divorce
Posted: 5/2/2018 1:20:00 PM
LOL That didn't take long~~~~~~~~~~~~~Pfffft.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 11
Divorce
Posted: 5/3/2018 2:56:13 AM
Me thinks a moderator called the OP back.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 12
Divorce
Posted: 5/3/2018 10:35:22 PM
Definitely a troll. I think it's a man in disguise. I know as many marriages that ended in divorce that were initiated by men.

I wasn't technically married but I was in a common law marriage and I was not the one to do the leaving. We ended because I had enough and quit trying to fix what can't be fixed and he had no power over me anymore so found a new woman.

My dad left my mom for another woman. Knowing everything I know now I think my dad was just an emotionally damaged person who self-sabatoged. His second marriage ended when his wife left him for his cousin. He left his third wife because she was a crazy person and he had enough.

My mom left her common law husband after 11 years because when all the kids were out of the house she was bored out of her tree because all he wanted to do was watch the hunting channel.

My sister-in-law left her first husband cause they had married at 17 when she got pregnant and she realized a few years later that she didn't even like him.

Lots of reasons for divorce. You can't generalize the reasons.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 13
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Posted: 5/5/2018 6:59:07 AM
YOu may know a lot of men who initiated divorce, but stats show that over 75 percent of divorce is initiated by women.
Exceptions aren't the rule.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 14
Divorce
Posted: 5/5/2018 7:39:12 AM
Ok, I just looked this up and you are right, 69% of divorces in the U.S. (according to just one study) were initiated by women BUT one of the biggest reasons for divorce was infidelity on the man's part. Which makes me wonder, was the infidelity a way to get the woman to initiate a divorce or were many men just thinking they'd get away with it?
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 15
Divorce
Posted: 5/5/2018 9:25:42 AM
^^^ That’s not my experience. My ex-wife was so controlling that she got suspicious if I even had any female friends, and she told me that I’d better not look at other women. Apparently this didn’t apply to her because she cheated on me with another man. She initiated the divorce saying that she never really was in love with me but only liked me as a friend.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 16
Divorce
Posted: 5/5/2018 10:51:01 PM
I was reading even further with this topic and I learned that the 69% applied to the person who's name was as the plaintiff in divorce papers and a major reason its often the woman who is the plaintiff is because its usually the woman who is going for child support. Men often have nothing to gain by initiating divorce proceedings. Men often just move out and avoid going to court as long as possible.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 17
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Divorce
Posted: 5/12/2018 6:22:43 AM
The main reason people divorce is because one or both fell out of love........usually the woman. Women file for divorce first twice as often as men.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 18
Divorce
Posted: 5/12/2018 10:28:35 AM
Yes but as I said above there are reasons for that. Most men usually have nothing to gain by filing for divorce first. Women file for child support often. Spousal support is more fommon in the U.S. than here where its not common practice except when a couple was married prior to 1963.

Married men also cheat more. Married women cheat too but not as in high of numbers. So it's to be expected that women will be the one to file for divorce.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 19
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Posted: 5/12/2018 10:49:18 AM
?Filing for child support?
Since when?
To the best of my knowledge in the USA,
IF ...........When an unmarried woman gives birth to a baby, she may claim who she believes to be the father of the baby. He in turn will/ can, either claim to be the father, or submit to a paternity test. The mother of the baby, or in the case of a state aid recipient, will then petition the court to order child support.

Not connected to a Divorce at all.

When a child is born to a couple legally married, the child becomes the dependent of both husband and wife. IF and when either the husband or the wife file for a divorce, the custody of the child, either physical or legal, is decided by the court. Either party may petition for child support, in whole or partial.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 20
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Posted: 5/21/2018 9:53:16 AM
Money is not the major cause of divorce. Most people get divorces because they have fallen out of love with their partner.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 21
Divorce
Posted: 5/21/2018 2:08:39 PM
In Canadian law there isn't much different between marriage and common law relationships. I have the separation papers right now and they have 3 sections: separation, divorce if applicable and child custody/support if applicable. It's all done together. When no common law relationship or marriage has occurred, then you can file separate papers for child support. However, if a relationship has taken place then an individual must initiate divorce/separation proceedings to figure out child support/custody. This is usually why the woman is often the one to initiate the divorce/separation. It doesn't usually benefit the man to do it unless he is going for primary custody.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 22
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Divorce
Posted: 5/21/2018 6:13:13 PM

Most people get divorces because they have fallen out of love with their partner.


Yeah, it's perplexing how that "love" location thing works.

First you're in it, then you're not in it, then you're in it again, then you're not in it again.(multiple marriages)

And you have no control over when you're in it or not.

Makes it hard to plan things.

I wonder why most people just don't put it in their marriage vows- "until one of us is not in love anymore", instead of "until death do we part".
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 23
Divorce
Posted: 5/21/2018 7:54:46 PM
Falling out of love is not the most common reason for divorce. According to stats (https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/) these are the 10 most common reasons people divorce:

1) Infidelity
2) Money
3) Lack of communication
4) Constant arguing
5) Weight gain
6) Unrealistic expectations
7) Lack of intimacy
8) Lack of equality
9) Not being prepared for marriage
10) Abuse

I found it surprising to see weight gain as the 5th biggest reason for divorce. I have observed that in many marriages both the man and women get flabbier. However, I know many women gain weight while their husbands do not and its usually due to weight put on when pregnant. I would say those marriages that end because someone gains too much weight were not strong marriages to begin with, built on superficial qualities. If you love someone, you won't leave them if they gain weight. Unless they refuse to take care of themselves and continue to overeat for years, in which case it would be like living with an addict.
 JGL209
Joined: 5/1/2018
Msg: 24
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Divorce
Posted: 5/22/2018 2:33:02 PM

Women divorce their husbands because they THINK they can do better, but that is usually a poor decision especially if they have children.


Pretty much. But if women only knew what men think of a woman with 2-3 kids in tow. Especially is she speaks ill of her ex.. it leaves the logical man thinking why did she have kids with him if he was truly not for her or there was red flags from the beginning.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 25
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Posted: 5/25/2018 7:51:05 AM
Thats exactly true. We see these women with 3 or 4 kids and they talk about how lazy and irresponsible their ex or exes were ... My first though is.....well then why did you have kids with the guy? Seems pretty irresponsible of YOU.

You would think that because women are the ones that end up with the kids that they would be more responsible and picky when it comes to having kids....but nope, lots of women just pop them out and hope one of the fathers sticks...
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