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 Joker906
Joined: 1/1/2016
Msg: 1
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Hard life being DeafPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I was born Deaf and i have been on this dating site for years and have no luck why so many hates!
Im sure there are some lovely lady who not bothered about it.

But i am very shy and quiet and don't do well in social situations unless im very comfortable with someone then im out of my shell.

Im sure my profile is written out well, im always changing it trying to make it sound interesting.
It would be nice to meet/chat other deaf friendly people.
 Hotbeaching
Joined: 5/21/2017
Msg: 2
Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/2/2018 12:09:46 PM
Ahhh, bless you, we are all here probably having the same probs to a lesser or greater degree.

Are you in touch with others in the same situation cos you will probably find a sympathetic ear

and a kindred spirit...

Very very good luck, and for my sins I was going to open my post with ‘WHAT’

Sorry x
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 3
Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/2/2018 12:11:12 PM
Please post again in the DATING site - this is Forum.
.....good luck.........

 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 4
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/2/2018 12:33:07 PM
When you say hates, is that from people you've met offline from here? Or is it just that you feel you're being ignored? To be honest, I suspect it's as likely to be down to your height as to your hearing difficulties. Keep patient. You seem to be an amiable enough chap, and there's someone for everyone.
 Wrightbus71
Joined: 11/26/2017
Msg: 5
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/2/2018 1:40:29 PM
Hi there Tiger,

Just seen your post and was interested in your view on the height thing...So do you really recon that dis regarding this young lad has a hearing difficulty his height will also cause an issue??

The world has gone mad...
 Hotbeaching
Joined: 5/21/2017
Msg: 6
Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/2/2018 1:51:43 PM
Wright, would you have the decency to just once have an opinion, address the OP and not be so ignorant and insensitive
 Wrightbus71
Joined: 11/26/2017
Msg: 7
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/2/2018 2:01:18 PM
Wow...I never saw that one coming..

My opinion is that people should have the decency and good moral conduct to accept everyone for who they are and not judge them...and if its not possible to say anything nice then just don't say anything at all...

Oh and for the record I`m probably the least ignorant or in sensitive person on here..

As for the young guy who posted this thread, well I genuinely and sincerely wish him every success on here, good things come to those who wait...
 Hostess68
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 8
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/2/2018 3:25:12 PM
Dunno why you think its cos you are deaf. No one wants me either
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 9
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/3/2018 1:43:46 AM
Joker, as has been pointed out on here, an awful lot of people are ignored. Wherever you are it is the same problem. However, the solutions are also the same. First, Pof is as likely to find you a date as any other dating site but the odds are fairly small unless you are that Greek god/ess that everone is looking for. Dating sites are just one tool in your dating toolbox. You need to get out there and meet people in real life. I know you might fid that tough but the fear is all in your mind, most people are kind.

I would recommend as an easy first step to join Meetup - it is free. Then find groups near Wakefield and go to them. All of them. If you're worried , do as a lot of others do, drop an email to the organiser and tell them that you find meeting with a group of strangers intimidating. We get loads of messages like that. We tend to meet the people outside the event, bring them in and introduce them around. You will be far from the first finding it difficult, most people struggle with it.

We are nowhere near Wakefield so of no interest to you but we do have 9 years of experience helping people in the same situation, so the above is all factual. One of our members was born profoundly deaf, Through our group he met and married one of the most gorgeous women you could ever meet. They are both very happy together.

Wrighty - is Wakefield anywhere near your Pof events?
 Wrightbus71
Joined: 11/26/2017
Msg: 10
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/3/2018 2:01:04 AM
Hi there Chapster...

Yes I can happily confirm that Wakefield is only about 4 miles from both where I live and from the pub I use to run the pof events..

So Joker, the young guy who posted this thread, if you want to get in touch with me either on here or direct to me via personal message then I`ll sure be happy to suggest attending one of my monthly events..

Bryan
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 11
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/3/2018 2:25:27 AM
I don't bite.

Remove that from your profile. A lot of women say that line is a huge put off, seriously. I know it's not profile critiques in here but just saying. And yes both your hearing aids and short height will put off shallow people, you're looking for someone caring and that anyway so don't worry about it.
 Joker906
Joined: 1/1/2016
Msg: 12
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/3/2018 1:10:07 PM
Well ever since i moved to yorkshire im struggling to make friends and i dont really know anyone up here. And Thanks.


When you say hates, is that from people you've met offline from here? Or is it just that you feel you're being ignored? To be honest, I suspect it's as likely to be down to your height as to your hearing difficulties. Keep patient. You seem to be an amiable enough chap, and there's someone for everyone.


Yeah i agree im sure i find someone one day, and yeah i thought my height would also put people off aswell haha oh well. Ignored online or offline, met a few some is rude to me some is ok.


Dunno why you think its cos you are deaf. No one wants me either

It just gotten to the point where i think it the deafness is the strong reason, from having many times of ghosting, rejections, and after they either find out or sees my hearing aid they run a mile.


Joker, as has been pointed out on here, an awful lot of people are ignored. Wherever you are it is the same problem. However, the solutions are also the same. First, Pof is as likely to find you a date as any other dating site but the odds are fairly small unless you are that Greek god/ess that everone is looking for. Dating sites are just one tool in your dating toolbox. You need to get out there and meet people in real life. I know you might fid that tough but the fear is all in your mind, most people are kind.

I would recommend as an easy first step to join Meetup - it is free. Then find groups near Wakefield and go to them. All of them. If you're worried , do as a lot of others do, drop an email to the organiser and tell them that you find meeting with a group of strangers intimidating. We get loads of messages like that. We tend to meet the people outside the event, bring them in and introduce them around. You will be far from the first finding it difficult, most people struggle with it.

Thanks for that i have went to one of the meetup groups before but never went again after, i have always done that and no idea why i keep doing it. But i do need to suck it up and keep trying. So yeah i have to agree with your post.


Yes I can happily confirm that Wakefield is only about 4 miles from both where I live and from the pub I use to run the pof events..

So Joker, the young guy who posted this thread, if you want to get in touch with me either on here or direct to me via personal message then I`ll sure be happy to suggest attending one of my monthly events.

Thats sounds good to me.



I don't bite.

Remove that from your profile. A lot of women say that line is a huge put off, seriously. I know it's not profile critiques in here but just saying. And yes both your hearing aids and short height will put off shallow people, you're looking for someone caring and that anyway so don't worry about it.


Yeah there is far to many shallow people but i know the right one will come along so i have to agree with your last bit, i shall remove it for time being.

Thanks for all of your message it made me feel better now. But i do wonder or wish there was a search bar or some sort where you can search for someone who has the same interest.
P.s this is my 1st time posting on fourm so only getting that hang of it i hope.
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 13
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/4/2018 2:26:02 AM
Well done joker, at least you are open to ideas. That you find it difficult to make friends after moving is just absolutely normal. I'm not going to ignore your deafness, it is a problem, I'm half deaf myself and was out with 3 friends last night two of whom are also about the same. Lucky we had patient staff looking after us.

IVC was invented after the 2nd World War to bring together people who had been displaced. It is still going. Meetup does a much better job of it. A lot of people join our group for exactly the same reason. They use the group to network, be introduced to other groups and gain social contacts. I do feel you need to pursue that avenue but just going along to a meeting is a recipe for failure. Very few of us have the confidence to walk into a room and work it. That's normal too. Do contact the event host first, that will make a big difference to your experience.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 14
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/4/2018 6:21:50 AM
Life must be very challenging without sound.
OP.....your pics could be much better (you kinda look a bit chavvy....don’t shoot me)
You’re a nice looking young man so improved pics won’t be difficult. On here, good pics is the first door open
If friends is what you seek, then I’d heed Chaps and Bryan’s advice
Good Luck :)
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 15
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/4/2018 7:11:00 AM
Someone will always be judgemental about something. Appearance is one; difference another.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 16
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/6/2018 3:30:38 PM

But i do wonder or wish there was a search bar or some sort where you can search for someone who has the same interest.


Just click on your own interests to find people who also have that interest on their profile. Good luck.
 Joker906
Joined: 1/1/2016
Msg: 17
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/16/2018 9:06:06 AM

Life must be very challenging without sound.
OP.....your pics could be much better (you kinda look a bit chavvy....don’t shoot me)
You’re a nice looking young man so improved pics won’t be difficult. On here, good pics is the first door open
If friends is what you seek, then I’d heed Chaps and Bryan’s advice
Good Luck :)

Thanks, and lol but yeah my pics defo need updating. >.>


Just click on your own interests to find people who also have that interest on their profile. Good luck.

didnt know that, thanks
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 18
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/16/2018 9:18:06 PM
You're welcome.
I decided to just try it now from my profile and it's people not near me so maybe not that handy after all. Maybe use google and search your interests and use POF in the search also if it's the same for you.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 19
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/17/2018 4:05:25 AM
OP that’s a really good pic you have up at the moment.
Have you tried any other advice given in this thread?
If you need a natter you can always try waking one of us dinosaurs up in here :)
 billybonds
Joined: 8/8/2014
Msg: 20
Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/17/2018 4:07:25 AM
I'm preparing a dossier on one particular lady now...

On topic.. I'm sure it is
 WakemanR
Joined: 2/4/2018
Msg: 21
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Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 5/28/2018 4:19:25 AM
Well, a good friend of mine recently had a meeting cancelled because he didn't drive.

The fact is, there are a lot of people on the site with a whole bunch of exacting criteria, some of it head scratching. Too tall, too short, have a car or don't have a car, migrant not migrant, previously married or bachelor, bald of with hair, tattoos and no tattoos, kids living at home and living alone, in work or out of work. The list goes on.

What I'm saying is - people may well pass you by because you're deaf. That's bad news. But the fact is, we're all getting passed by for a myriad of reasons every day too. There's nothing like more than judging others, it seems.

The solution is to keep at it, and if something is not working, to try a different approach. Since you know your deafness is an issue for some people, make sure you answer any obvious questions in your profile, and provide some answers/advice to put people at ease. For example - if you have partial hearing, then say "I'm clinical deaf, but I am able to carry out conversations with the help of my hearing aid." Or if you're totally deaf, explain how you have conversations with strangers.

That's my advice. We're all being judged, and often unfairly. As a man, you'd better be an adonis. :D
 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 22
Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 6/1/2018 8:09:47 AM
Oh aye. Life's tough for various reasons besides being deaf, mate; but you always make the best of the hand you were dealt innit? It's what the game is all about at the end of the day; no?

Now, listen here. When you're trying to pick up some chick, you have to keep in mind that you are doing her a favour. Yes, nothing less - and that holds true even if you leak in your pants just by looking at her. That don't mean that you have to be a willy or anything of the sort awright but proud? Absolutely! Like hell! Shy is a thing of the past; yeah?
 acrosstheplains
Joined: 8/1/2017
Msg: 23
Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 6/7/2018 1:23:22 PM
No it isnt. At the risk of being gnawed by everyone else, your profile needs reworking.
There are grammar and spelling errors, when you feel that you are against it (odds of getting a date) it falls to you to make sure that everything you do have control over, is as hot dang as possible.

Whether you are or not, never ever say:
I'm nice
I'm quiet
I'm shy
I don't bite (it's still there)
I'm building my confidence


Facts of life. You're still in the section of population that is keen on propagating rugrats. Therefore most (but not all) of the women looking at your profile are consciously or subconsciously checking out your suitability as father material


So if that's not your thing, the last thing you should do is restrict your options.
Remove the pictures only on your mail setting.
Guess what? Some women are as shy or even more shy than you

And actually you should make a copy, screenshot or whatever of your profile, then delete it.
Then after a short delay sign up again, but choose a better name.
Joker says you're not serious but your stated intent is long term relationship.
Good luck.
Yes pictures one and three are good, maybe try reshooting number two but think proud, think confident, think success .
.
That will be £47.29 for the profile review please
 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 24
Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 6/7/2018 1:49:47 PM
-across
Were we talking about some hunk or a rich guy, do you think the women would bother at all with the spelling mistakes on the guy's profile? They wouldn't even bother reading the profile let alone! Truth is, nothing matters besides looks and cash for the vastest majority of the women out there. Education, character, confidence and all the rubbish people go about telling you is mere sugarcoating.

Also, I can't even blame them (women) for that. I do the same. If she's not in decent shape and she don't have what it takes in matter of melons and behind, then I wouldn't even look at her irrespective of the rest. Sure enough, it takes more than that to take a woman seriously but step 1 is indeed that and if you don't get past step 1, then you cannae go no further. That's where the problem lies.
 acrosstheplains
Joined: 8/1/2017
Msg: 25
Hard life being Deaf
Posted: 6/7/2018 2:13:11 PM
Agree to disagree.
Agreed that some people only do this lefty righty swipe business which rules out me and others. But they're probably not actually serious about a relationship. I updated my profile to mention that walking is everything. It's not pulled the punters in yet :) But then I've not edited it 7 times to perfection. But I'm hardly complaining about a lack of interest either.
I've had erm about 20 dates over the years I've been on and off pof.
And I've had a relationship from off pof lasting 1 1/2 years which aint bad.
I ain't a chippendale. And I've dated women from pof everywhere from as pretty as Roxy to as warthog like as erm a warthog.
In my humbled opineing, appearance matters only to maybe 60% of peeps over 40. And still only 99.7% of 20somethings.
Personality counts, and with a bit of practice, you can convey it in a profile. To be honest, I'm not that bothered right now at finding new pastures to graze here, I'm making life changes which could nix any relationship anyway.
But I keep having deep and meaningful convos with the ladies. And if something happens here, well.... you never know.
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