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 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 1
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When is it ok to say I love you?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Tonite I have my 4th date with my new girlfriend. We are very sweet and affectionate with one another but we haven't used "the L-word" yet.How long do most couple wait before confessing their love to each other?
 Tyro327
Joined: 4/5/2018
Msg: 2
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 1:25:03 PM
That would be relative to the progression of the relationship everyone is different on it, people can vary when they want to hear it as well. I wouldn't say I was in love with someone until I was positive that I was cause of my understanding of the word. Love is not a commodity to use as one sees fit to use it for their own advantage, it's special and unique not something people should just throw around like a hello. 4 dates highly doubt you would know if you love someone or not, but that would also depend on how long you knew them for.

Like a lady you know for years you just recently dating well you might love them but not in the sense of "man/woman" love but more of a friendship type which might to lead to it. Other times love at first site it does happen usually not for both parties so have unrequited love can be a huge set back as they don't feel the same way, if you say it and their not on the same level they might run for the hills. So it's best to allow time to dictate when you feel appropriate saying it to each other. Could be a month, or 2 even as long as 4 it just depends how long honeyphase lasts and you actually get over infatuation period.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 3
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 1:35:32 PM
Yeah,I don't want to spoil it all by saying something stupid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKsbx4meBTY
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 1:54:29 PM
I'm going to say, Tyro's post made a lot of sense. Maybe just say, "I like you a lot" for now.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 5
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 1:59:49 PM
If a man told me he loved me after only 4 dates. I would think either he does not know what love is, or he is desperate to find love and is willing to fake it hoping it will become love. I doubt I could ever take him seriously afterwards. I would want to wait for the dust to settle before even questioning myself as to if I was in love.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 6
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 2:48:16 PM
I usually heard it from my partners during the 1st time we had sex.

I had few partners in life & waited till I felt very sure of my feelings until I had sex, so it was not premature.

I was able to say " I Love You Too" back!

Each relationship has it's own dynamic, with holding a declaration of affection is just as gamey IMO, as blurting it out too soon.

Love is not formulaic nor does it adhere to a timetable & for me, it waxes & wanes in response to daily life.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 7
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 3:51:58 PM
Wait until you've had your first spat/argument that every new couple will have as they get to know each other, and find out each other's quirks and habits, and what bugs the other person. If you can make it through that unscathed, that's the first step. Then decide if you can see yourself with the other person over the long haul. There's no point saying The Words if either one might be thinking of bailing at some point.
 47Seagulls
Joined: 3/16/2018
Msg: 8
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 4:42:19 PM

Tonite I have my 4th date with my new girlfriend. We are very sweet and affectionate with one another but we haven't used "the L-word" yet.How long do most couple wait before confessing their love to each other?


Does your daddy know that you are using his computer and have logged in to his dating website?

I can't believe a question like this from someone over 18.


If a man told me he loved me after only 4 dates. I would think either he does not know what love is, or he is desperate to find love and is willing to fake it hoping it will become love. I doubt I could ever take him seriously afterwards. I would want to wait for the dust to settle before even questioning myself as to if I was in love.


Nailed it.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 9
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 4:53:58 PM
^ I think OP is a particularly sweet man & doesn't deserve any disrespect by any person, male or female, who may be bitter.

He asked a valid question.

Maybe he is loveable & has met a loveable person!

Their timeline is theirs, not another's.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 10
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 5:02:40 PM
Since you would be making it up I would assume that's your line. That's me, many women would swoon and say they loved you too.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 11
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 6:17:09 PM
I'm only speaking for myself. Even if I was feeling enamored right away, I know it's just that fun and exciting feeling going on, so I would not say anything. If someone said it to me early on, I would figure they felt the same way, and it really wasn't real love yet.

Should you say it? I would say do what you feel is right for you. The woman seems to really like you. If you went by what I'd do or say, it would be like the woman was dating me. She likes you, be you.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 12
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 6:23:44 PM
OP, you say it when you truly mean it. However, don't say it just in hopes that the other person will return the favor.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 13
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 6:42:44 PM
.... I'm of the opinion that " true " love ~ begins with attraction. It then progresses to friendship & culminates in devotion. This devotion is a continual growing & living thing. When two people bond together through love, they form a united force ~ they become twice as strong, as they face life together ...

As great as being together is ~ it also allows for each individual to remain such. A completely different / independent set of needed inputs is generated . This makes it easier to deal with the our complex equation ~ known as life.

.... I personally think, you should get to know each other for quite some time before using the word ~ this is just my thought ..
After all , it is the most powerful word in the world ...

One that requires not only long term commitment, but many actions as well. In addition, finding lasting love is not easy ~ not for the weak at heart. Some search all their lives and never find it.

Those that do, are the luckiest people on earth ~

heart / sun
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 14
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 7:21:23 PM
As other's have said, it's YOUR timing...

for me though, (and your mileage may vary) if I heard that - especially that soon... (four dates) I'm gone... done... I've been burned way too harsh from 'love bombing' and have the battle scars to prove it...
In fact, I dare say nobody will hear that quotation from me for the remainder of my life...
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 15
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 7:33:02 PM

Tonite I have my 4th date with my new girlfriend. We are very sweet and affectionate with one another but we haven't used "the L-word" yet..

NRE - New Relationship Energy is always exciting and fantastic (been there...) :-)
But as others have advised, don't be too quick to use the "L-word" too soon.

It can definitely scare people off... but it's your call on how receptive she may be.
If her reply is "I LIKE you, but I really don't KNOW you..." you may have blown it.
Now - if she says it to YOU, I guess you have your reply ready... ;-)
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 16
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 6:32:02 AM
Some men rarely say it.......only in times of tragedy. Some of you watch too many movies.

Anyway, women can tell when a man loves them.

Woman: "I love you" Translation: Now you say it!
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 17
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 6:53:12 AM
No sooner than 6 months in.
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 18
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 8:12:47 AM
I thought this was a post written by someone in their early twenties!

Some people like the idea of being in love so feel love but I believe it is infatuation. One can't get to know a person in such a short period of time. You're confusing love with infatuation imo and have lots of oxytocin (the love hormone) being released.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 19
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 8:31:09 AM

Yeah,I don't want to spoil it all by saying something stupid.


Ross: :I love you, Emily".

Emily: "Ohhh....thank you".

.....

Ross: "I love you, Mona".

Mona: "Oh, and I love doing things with you, too".

"Friends" fans will understand.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 20
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 8:54:42 AM

Does your daddy know that you are using his computer and have logged in to his dating website?

I can't believe a question like this from someone over 18.


And I can’t believe a woman can be so judgemental! Sheesh! It’s a totally legitimate question.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 21
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 9:28:25 AM
When I was young, I made the mistake of saying it too soon. Which can be very embarrassing for everyone concerned (see message 19).

Now that I am older (and hopefully at least a little wiser), I would wait until I felt fairly confident that the feeling was mutual, and she was just waiting for me to be the first to say it “out loud”. Actions having pretty much demonstrated it already.
 N2U18
Joined: 3/16/2018
Msg: 22
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 9:33:35 AM
“Voodoo in the Vibes”

The beginning of a relationship is the best part. Why rush things and complicate the situation? So many questions yet to be answered and each discovery can be euphoric.

Have an argument and see how it goes.

Into her but not in love!
 47Seagulls
Joined: 3/16/2018
Msg: 23
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 9:35:02 AM

^ I think OP is a particularly sweet man & doesn't deserve any disrespect by any person, male or female, who may be bitter.


No one has said the OP wasn't a sweet man. And my comments weren't meant in a disrespectful manner to anyone. And the "bitter" portion - don't assume or make up stuff.

The comment coming from someone in their 50s or 60s after a marriage or two or three or half a dozen relationships seems a tad juvenile. Its like asking someone how to ride a bike after you been on half a dozen cycling trips.


OP, you say it when you truly mean it. However, don't say it just in hopes that the other person will return the favor.


Exactly.
 47Seagulls
Joined: 3/16/2018
Msg: 24
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 9:38:25 AM

And I can’t believe a woman can be so judgemental! Sheesh! It’s a totally legitimate question


If you are a man who has never met a woman before, had a girlfriend or been married. Or lived in a cave. OP is 64, with kids. Not a dating virgin. Not a virgin.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 25
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 9:44:24 AM

Have an argument and see how it goes.


Good point. I do not advocate starting an argument just for argument's sake but after you both have seen each other at your best, worst and everything in between - see if the loving feelings are still mutual. See how they handle conflict resolution, anger, sadness, disappointment, etc. How you two weather storms is a truer test of longevity & demonstrating love for each other than being on Cloud 9 only 4 dates in.
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