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 mcfearless89
Joined: 5/2/2018
Msg: 1
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Blocked On Everything.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I met a guy on here, but lived 6 hours drive from one another). We really hit it off and he came down for a weekend to see me. One thing he was honest about, was that his best friend was female. He had mentioned her as his sister was getting married and this female friend asked if she could crash at his place, to which he said yes.

He admitted to me they had slept together in the past and that he cheated on her with an ex gf. He said this was the first time he ever cheated and he learnt a lot and would never do it again. He told me although this female friend was in his life, he had zero feelings for her, even though he did admit she was in love with him and had always wanted more.

Naturally this made me wary, and even though we weren't dating, I think it just wore away at me knowing the day was coming that she would stay (which is this weekend), and concerns about his boundaries with friends, as he said he respected her and was acting distant so she didn't get any ideas, although it always played on my mind that he was letting her stay (he only has one bedroom). I personally felt if he wanted to not lead her on he would suggest it was best she didn't stay, and it made me wary of attempting to try and have a relationship with him.

I tried to let it go but just couldn't. I went on vacation and as he lived close to where I was vacationing, he came down and spent 5 days with me and we did a lot of fun things together. While we were on vacation she text him asking why he was being distant, and he showed me his responses to her saying he was keeping his distance because he respects her and doesn't want her thinking they are more than they are.

What I really didn't understand is why she would ask that, and this showed me that he talks to her a lot more either when a girl isn't around or when he is single, as no friend would ask why someone was being distant. He also liked her selfies a lot.

I decided after the vacation although I really didn't want to do so, to tell him we should just be friends, not because I didn't have feelings, but because I didn't want to be hurt; and he agreed it was probably for the best as I had such an issue with his female friend.

I will admit I was very upset and kind of flipped flopped back and forth, saying it wasn't what I wanted, but he just said we weren't right for each other and it was the right decision.

Anyway, I got kind of upset about the whole thing and said he wasn't being respectful and had lied about a lot of stuff. I know I shouldn't have said it and it was anger driven, but his response was to say that he doesn't deserve being questioned and his respect being questioned, and we are finished and will never be friends, and he blocked me on all social media.

I know there isn't really any advice that anyone could give as its pretty clear it's finished, but I'm very hurt because I grew such attachment to him, and just like that he cut me off like I was nothing to him, and I really did cherish our bond.

So I guess my question is, is there anything I can do? How can I move on? We never slept together either because I noticed he had something down below, and I told him he should get it checked out. He found out 2 days ago when getting it checked out that it was in fact genital warts, which he thought were skin tags, and after that diagnosis I was still there for him (actually came to find out they came from the girl mate he cheated with).

I probably hounded him a lot which was not a good start to a relationship, but it still hurts that he cut me off like I was nothing to him, and I really don't like bad feeling with people.

I know people will probably judge me for this post too for being clingy or whatever, but I genuinely want feedback to try and be better in the future, and get over this. I feel like this ended badly and I can't apologize.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 2
Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/5/2018 5:17:38 PM
He was honest about a lot of things, probably to avoid what happened with you two, and it happened anyway. You had feelings for the guy, and you had hopes it would turn into something. What it turned into instead, was finding out about his STD. Mourn your loss for what you had going on in your head, realize you ducked catching an STD (which may be part of why he cut you off, taking his anger out on you, who knows), look for any lessons to learn, and that's how you move along--one step at a time.
 mcfearless89
Joined: 5/2/2018
Msg: 3
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/5/2018 5:20:41 PM
Thanks. It just sucks I can't really apologize for lashing out. That is what bothers me.
 BretIAm
Joined: 3/25/2018
Msg: 4
Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/5/2018 7:31:05 PM

It just sucks I can't really apologize for lashing out.


Considering the bullet you dodged (STD; long, LONG distance travel; shady situation), I would count your experience as a win and don't look back.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 5
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 12:04:39 PM
First, he was right: you weren't comfortable with his female friend, and so the two of you could not be a match.

You picked up on something not-quite-on-the-level about this "friend," and he became indignant about it, and cut you off. Guess what? You were very likely right--he had lied and wasn't being honest or respectful. He had an STD and wasn't being responsible to take care of his own health, let alone a potential partner's. Who self-diagnosis "skin tags" in that region? Pfffffttt.

The real issue is, why don't you trust yourself more, and why are you becoming attached to someone who is setting off your warning signals?

You lost your temper--deal with that, and do better next time. But to feel that it ended badly because of what you did? That was a two-way street. It needed to end and no contact with him is best. Next time, don't lose your temper, but recognize that all the explanations are weird and you don't need someone with that kind of baggage in your life--and you be the one, calmly, to block all contact, so you aren't tempted back out of loneliness or desperation.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 6
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 12:13:17 PM

to tell him we should just be friends


Develop better standards for who you want to be friends with.



but I'm very hurt because I grew such attachment to him,



just like that he cut me off like I was nothing to him, and I really did cherish our bond..



but I genuinely want feedback to try and be better in the future,


Grow attachments to better quality people.

Better choices almost always achieve better results.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 7
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 12:21:33 PM
you didn't want to be in a relationship with him because he is friends with someone he used to date that still has feelings for him...

and now you want to be his "friend he used to date who still has feelings for him" now???
 ItCouldBeNice2
Joined: 4/5/2018
Msg: 8
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 12:54:13 PM

mcfearless89" I probably hounded him a lot which was not a good start to a relationship, but it still hurts that he cut me off like I was nothing to him, and I really don't like bad feeling with people. . . I know people will probably judge me for this post too for being clingy or whatever, but I genuinely want feedback to try and be better in the future, and get over this. I feel like this ended badly and I can't apologize."


Hmm... I don't think you have anything to be sorry about. You realized that something was not right about this situation. You protected your best interests by not getting involved with him sexually when the opportunity to do so presented itself. I am sure you will move on when you meet someone new who fascinates you. I wouldn't get stuck on this guy since you weren't a good match to begin with and it is over.

Cutting someone off from contact is merely a coping strategy for some people. It's nothing personal.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 9
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 2:42:40 PM
BretIAm
Considering the bullet you dodged (STD; long, LONG distance travel; shady situation), I would count your experience as a win and don't look back.

+1
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 10
Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 3:04:55 PM
You have no real history w/ this man, he sounds like lots of drama & ...

he is not the only man on earth! Why the hell are you even thinking of him, let alone posting about him on line?

NEXT!
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 11
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 3:35:39 PM

Intent mcfearless89 wants to date but nothing serious.


Maybe you are not being honest with yourself (and others) about your intentions.

You grew "attached" quite quickly to someone you claim to have not been dating:


Naturally this made me wary, and even though we weren't dating.


You did not respect your own feelings of "wariness."


I know there isn't really any advice that anyone could give as its pretty clear it's finished, but I'm very hurt because I grew such attachment to him,


Looks like you brought this on yourself. Don't do that again.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 12
Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 6:28:43 PM
Ok, let me make something perfectly clear here. NOBODY composes a post this long over simply not having a chance to apologize for something.


You shouldn't give two shits about a cheater exiting your life, but here you are. A tale all too familiar.

He handled this the way I believe any man should, for I believe nearly any problem with a woman is solved by walking the f*ck away. The vast majority of the time this will push a woman to obsess over a man she was on the fence about or minimally interested in *before* getting cut off. Mindfückery 101.

Cheater dude may be a piece of shit, but he's a piece of shit who knows what he's doing.

p.s. if you didn't sleep with him, how did you see his warts "down below"?
 mcfearless89
Joined: 5/2/2018
Msg: 13
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 6:38:58 PM
He performed oral on me. When we came to him and he took his pants off I noticed the warts. He said he had them for a long time and insisted they were skin tags, but I insisted he get them checked out before we slept together. He got them checked and the hpv genital wart diagnosis was given.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 14
Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 6:42:16 PM
See? I knew there was more to this. You can't fool this pig.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 15
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 6:59:52 PM
Wow ! I saw this same exact episode on " Days of our Lives " ~ a re-run from back in 67 ' ...
.. It got so boring, I shut it off right after they " blocked " each other.

.. Woops !!! ^^ Didn't mean blocked ~ there wasn't any social media back then.
.. I meant, they slapped each other silly !!

^^^ " performed oral " huh ? Hope he didn't have " genitaltonguewarts " ...

That could end up ~ as a bad performance, col (chuckle out loud ) ...

sarrweee !!! ^
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 16
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 7:47:12 PM
Must have been so damn good oral!
 beercookies
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 17
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/6/2018 9:20:24 PM
Some people cannot deal with conflict. That applies to you, and him. It’s hard to be cautious when you like someone, but you did it. Good for you. Sometimes we cannot wrap things up prettily. If you hear from the indignant blocker( is there an unblock feature?, don't fall for the game. Let it go.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 18
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C0ck Blocked Himself
Posted: 5/6/2018 10:25:59 PM
WTF? You broke up with him, and then you wanted to double back? You're okay with genital warts? It sounds like he's keeping her around since they both have it, and you do know they're still having sex.

You want advice, try not being desperate and dating someone that lives 6 hours away, as if you were ever really dating him.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 19
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C0ck Blocked Himself
Posted: 5/7/2018 7:09:06 AM
Ewww warts, Jesus Christ be glad you got away.
Really should of gotten to know this guy more and demanded STD tests before sexual contact, especially with the warts.
The distance alone should be enough to not date really.
Anything more than 20 mins I consider too far.
Guys WILL travel ~2hr for a meet but you know they really just are hoping for sex and don't take the dating seriously. Waste of time.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 20
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C0ck Blocked Himself
Posted: 5/8/2018 7:26:58 AM
You are lucky you you did not get more involved with somebody who has a disease and a stalker ex.

I know rejection stings, but in time, you'll get over it. Dating a new man will help also.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 21
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C0ck Blocked Himself
Posted: 5/9/2018 5:51:41 AM
From an article found on Google: https://www.stdtestexpress.com/blog/can-i-pass-genital-warts-through-oral-sex-after-the-warts-are-gone/


HPV is treatable…but not curable. It lives in your body even after the warts have been treated, and even if there are no visible symptoms of the virus. That means that you can still infect other people if you have sex with them…and that includes finger stimulation, as well as oral, vaginal or anal sex.
 mikeparkin2
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 22
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C0ck Blocked Himself
Posted: 5/9/2018 12:42:38 PM
I have never understood women who get upset about men having friends of the opposite sex.
Women are by far the worst for having lots of friends interfering in relationships.
My ex wife had a mate who was always making comments about me to my wife, saying I wasn't good enough for her, I looked old and she could do better.
What my wife didn't know was the same woman made a move on me !

I went out with someone whose best mate was a gay man. I accepted it so long as we got some quality time together.
But in the end we just never got any. So I told her it was him or me. So she had words with him about it.
Turned out he fancied me and thats why he was never away.

There will always be at least a little attraction between opposite sexes and sometimes even the same sex.
This is why it is dangerous.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 23
C0ck Blocked Himself
Posted: 5/10/2018 9:26:16 AM
It gets difficult having friends of the opposite sex when you are seeing someone else. I grew up with my best friends being guys but our friendships generally ended in the high school years when they started dating other girls. The only male friends I have now are either married to women that are my friends or they are guys who liked me that I have friend-zoned because I didn't feel the same way. I also have other guy friends who I secretly have feelings for, they probably might know that on some level but I think I was friend-zoned as well. I have no existing friendships with men where I think things are equally platonic except the friendships with guys who are married, in which case I would never hang around with just the guy, their wife would always be around too.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 24
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C0ck Blocked Himself
Posted: 5/10/2018 3:24:27 PM
I have an ex of 30 years that has met subsequent bfs, including my ex-h. My bfs/husband were friendly with him. They've all done stuff for each like household repairs, helping one move, etc. My exes know that when the romantic relationship is over, I'll never go back with someone and they trust me.
 Mmmickkk
Joined: 3/3/2016
Msg: 25
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Blocked On Everything.
Posted: 5/12/2018 9:30:59 PM
well holy sheet
You're 28 and attractive, high 5 yourself for not having your bedoohdah end up looking like a inverted chokito and get on with your life.
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