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 Hostess68
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 1
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I am suicidal Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/18/2018 6:59:11 PM
Is it because you can't face the prospect of enduring watching the Royal Wedding on TV?
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 3
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/18/2018 7:15:47 PM
Repeating that over and over again leaves a lot to the imagination. Care to share the reason why?
 Hostess68
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 4
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/19/2018 1:38:49 AM
Despite my suicidal tendencies couldn't help but laugh at the royal wedding comment (thank you) but yes, I'm watching lol x
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 5
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/19/2018 10:41:54 AM
If this is true, you'd be better off to seek professional help. In Canada there is a suicide hotline. Try to see if there is one in your area. Your life has value and sometimes it's hard to see especially when feeling in a dark place. Keep in mind suicidal tendencies are normally not long term so you have to find a way to ride it out and say to yourself, "This will pass", and try to learn to cope with the ups and downs of how you feel.

If your tendency is extremely strong at any given moment, perhaps admit yourself to a hospital that has a ward that deals with mental health.
 Hostess68
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 6
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/19/2018 1:05:36 PM
S'ok waves. Thanks for your concern. I called the Samaritans. I've been a nut case for years now. I usually can deal with it.
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 7
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/21/2018 10:02:12 AM
I didn't know how to respond to your initial post and not at all sure whether to do so would be helpful or just the opposite. Mental health problems are just normal though more intense for some people and that is obviously you. I'm pleased you are still here and that you did get some help from the Samaritans. I hope too you're felling better and seeking even more help.
 Hostess68
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 8
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/21/2018 2:43:43 PM
It comes and goes Chap x Thank you for you concern
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 9
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/22/2018 3:27:57 AM
What we resist tends to persist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_8KwyUTYnA
 kernowmade
Joined: 12/16/2013
Msg: 10
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/22/2018 8:45:51 AM
Many years ago after my marriage beoke up, I tried it, and my Mum came and found me on the floor. Obviously it didn't work, but I realised that it would have hurt my family so much. I swore I would never, ever attempt it again. At the end of the day, it was a cry for help!
 generalthunder
Joined: 5/16/2018
Msg: 11
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I am suicidal
Posted: 5/30/2018 7:22:14 PM
GOD will punish your Ass!
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 12
I am suicidal
Posted: 5/31/2018 1:12:54 AM
...........Shut up & grow up..........
(please)

 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 13
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/1/2018 7:45:37 AM
holy crap. This is concerning. Host, maam, tf is this about?
 mikeparkin2
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 14
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/1/2018 8:19:17 PM
I would see a Doctor.
They have pills and advice to help you.
It could be a chemical imbalance and/or life circumstances.
The Doc will assess you and might refer you to a shrink.
 Hostess68
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 15
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/3/2018 3:07:02 PM
Don't you think I have done all that mike?! God's sake! Anyway! I am ok. This stuff bites me every now and then.
As for the annoying American woman.... Pleeeeeeze! Anyway. Don't worry about me. Had this for years and still not dead
In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
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 squareslice
Joined: 5/9/2018
Msg: 16
I am suicidal
Posted: 6/3/2018 6:04:45 PM
Hostess. I suffered a lot of lows.
Change of direction did me a power of good.
Desk jockey was crap. Engineering was ok. Social worker come tourist guide come general eejit suits me fine.

Go with the flow and the flow may direct you well
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 17
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/4/2018 2:13:11 AM
Until you've gone through depression you can't know what it is actually like. Yes you can train to understand and empathise, provide courses and dispense drugs but you can't feel it. Everyone goes through some depression in their life but the one that just comes along like a steam train, knocks you down and sits on your chest for no valid reason is a luxury reserved for a big few of us.

I went through a period of depression around 8 years ago when I could't get out of bed until lunchtime and even then could sometimes be found curled up under my desk trying to sleep it away. I cursed god for letting me wake up in the morning. My life at the time wasn't that bad compared to others but looking back I'd had a few life setbacks which I think just piled in until I eventually gave up.

If I can tie it down to one thing it's my over active brain creating scenarios which may never happen.

I'm much better now, I've gradually got better. Drugs didn't do it for me though I have plenty of friends who've been on them for years and can't cope without them. The Mindfulness course which I did twice and meditation helped me. I'm looking forward to a change of direction which I'm sure will produce its own problems but at least I will no longer have to employ the prima donna kitchen fitters to whom £1200 a week is just survival mode. Twats, every single one of them I've employed in the last 12 years.

I'll let you know how I'm getting on (bore you to death probably). Hope you're doing better Hostess. The forumites are here to have a rant or whatever helps.
 Hostess68
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 18
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/4/2018 11:26:53 AM
Sometimes people like me just need a kind word.
I wish there were more people like square and chap xxx
In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
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 squareslice
Joined: 5/9/2018
Msg: 19
I am suicidal
Posted: 6/4/2018 6:05:04 PM
Been on the happy pills before but stopped them... they fried my brain cell.
I'd rather make my own way than be chemically enhanced.You can do it, Hostess... trust me.

I find it hard some days having to go on stage, but I do it. My feet may be swollen and blistered, but I put on a happy face for the punters.... 95% of my job is customer relations, after all.

As Shakespeare said, eff Trump n all politics n do it your way
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 20
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/6/2018 4:07:59 AM

If I can tie it down to one thing it's my over active brain creating scenarios which may never happen.


The human mind is very good at doing that. At best, it helps when it comes to covering all bases. At worst, it becomes a jumbled clusterf**k which leaves you unable to function. Mindfulness works by taking time out and enabling prioritisation. I'm glad it worked for you.

CBT also works, and I've successfully used the five areas model to show clients how events set off chain reactions, in order to start a change process. http://humanjourney.org.uk/articles/depression-and-cognitive-behavioural-therapy/

Realising that there are times when depression isn't apparent and tapping into those feelings when they happen can reap dividends too.

I'm in two minds about prescribed antidepressants. There is real evidence that they work, and for chronic depression, they're life changing, but they're handed out a little too readily, in my opinion.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 21
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/6/2018 4:59:32 AM
^^^

"but they're handed out a little too readily, in my opinion."

If it's handed out by a regular doctor it's usually the flavour of the month with very little monitoring of the effects on the patient.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 22
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/6/2018 6:08:29 AM
Slice
"Been on the happy pills before but stopped them... they fried my brain cell.
I'd rather make my own way than be chemically enhanced.You can do it, Hostess... trust me.

I find it hard some days having to go on stage, but I do it. My feet may be swollen and blistered, but I put on a happy face for the punters.... 95% of my job is customer relations, after all.

As Shakespeare said, eff Trump n all politics n do it your way"

My horrible year was the end of 2005 and all of 2006 and into 2007.

My missus told me by text she was going back to dundee, a good pal died between crimbo and new year. I got made redundant. My dad died 2 weeks later. Another mate died in the august of 2006. My lassies then boyfriend tried to hang himself in my toilet on new years day 2007, i had to get my lassie to get a knife and cut him down. I should have plugged the radge. Then on the 5th january my wee mate Tich fell asleep on my settee and never woke up.

I got stuck on the anti d's by my doctor and was signed off with severe depression. I just lay in bed all day. Or self medicated so i could blank out my mind. But

My mates persevered and kept visiting and cajoling. They actually dragged me from my pit and made me go to the football. And made me talk about things. Get everything out in the open.

Then i was reffered to a psychologist who helped me when the DWP said i was fit and well. I still have his letter to this day.

Depression is a fvcker if the sufferer is left to dwell on things. And although the anti d's helped it was my mates who done the business for me.

I stopped taking the anti d's and felt terrible. You need to wean yourself of them.

I still have my moments but they are mainly when I'm recovering from a hangover or on a come down.

But i would try the anti d's but with the attitude of 'this is only temporary'
 Jacknher
Joined: 4/23/2018
Msg: 23
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/6/2018 7:40:52 AM
Worst I felt was about 15 years ago when my marriage went down the gurgler.
Anyway a few weeks later I ended up in tears in the doctor's surgery....had only gone in there to get a booster jab for my son. Doctor gave me a prescription for anti-depressants and a lecture about the only people who benefit from a marriage breakup being solicitors.

I felt like sh1t at the time but still suspected I shouldn't be on anti-depressants and carried the prescription round in the car glove box for another couple of weeks.
Till one day I sat in the car parked outside the chemist for the better part of an hour watching people walk in and out of there.....and I convinced myself that if I went inside and got some mutli vitamins instead I would have more energy.....and if I had more energy everything would seem easier.....and if everything seemed easier I wouldn't need anti-depressants.

So I got the multi vitamins instead and another couple of weeks later tore up the anti-d prescription. Truth be told the multi vitamins probably made no difference.....and that few weeks leeway was likely all I really needed to pull myself back together again.

That having been said. Sometimes if it's a chemical imbalance time won't heal that and people might need to be on anti-depressants....the same as some people need to be on thyroid medication.....or insulin.....or heart meds etc etc.
 hey_suze
Joined: 8/28/2017
Msg: 24
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/6/2018 8:00:20 AM
Yes I agree with jacknher, my marriage had some major problems about 15 years ago for a couple of years, and when it ended recently, it really does feel bad, but I always knew, no matter how bad I felt, it was the circumstances I was going through, rather than a chemical imbalance, and it was only time, and things would start to improve.
Sometimes longer than you think, and maybe you take some steps back, but, I never felt I wanted or needed medical help, but I am aware other people do need it.
Anyone who thinks they need help, please go and seek help 😊
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 25
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I am suicidal
Posted: 6/6/2018 9:17:53 AM
The only time my head fell off was when my ma died.
I stayed like that for months, then slowly got my shit back together.
Time for a song:

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time

C’mon sing along if you know it :)
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