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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
You go on a date and have a great time but your not feeling a connection/attraction to the person. Do you tell them how you feel or just never talk to them again?

If I had to guess the majority of the answers I'd say most people just ghost.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 2
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/27/2018 7:55:44 PM
It's been the latter if they offended or disrespected me. I don't write a person off solely for lack of chemistry/attraction on the first meet. The only time I'd write them off due to lack of attraction is if they were blatantly misrepresenting themselves such as using fake or old pictures. In such cases, I'd ghost.

My longest-lasting relationships have been with men who I didn't feel an instant attraction or connection with right away so to me, it's not a valid reason to cut them off - unless there are other factors involved like mentioned in my previous paragraph.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 3
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/27/2018 8:07:34 PM
I think I made the guessing game unnecessary.
At the end of a "meet date", I said, either,
"Thank you, for meeting me and your time, Good bye"...…………….or...………...
"Thank you, It was my pleasure meeting you. I'd love to see you again. You know how to reach me."

Easy peasey, How hard can that be?
 BretIAm
Joined: 3/25/2018
Msg: 4
Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/27/2018 8:17:38 PM
I tell them if I'm interested or if I'm not. No sense prolonging the inevitable.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 7/23/2017
Msg: 5
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/27/2018 9:34:38 PM
The vast majority of the time I write to them a day or so after and say something to the effect of 'we're not a match, good luck.' There were a few first meets that were pretty obvious there was no interest in a second get together so I didn't send an email follow-up to put the nail in it. Not sure if that qualifies as ghosting since I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking for any more communication either.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 6
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/27/2018 9:39:18 PM
I will have a good meet/date. But once the figure out they aint gonna get laid right away they ghost.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 7
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 9:57:09 AM
If we have enough of a 'connection' to go out on a date then i will have the courtesy to tell them thanks but i'm not interested in meeting again. Tbh it's only when consistency changes after a meet is when i lose interest, i'm honest about that too and they try to rectify it as soon as told but i'm fairly sure they are used to using short term fixes and are not capable of seeing incompatibility so i decline to care any more.

If the guy creeped me out, rare but happens, i won't reply. I cut all contact. So yes ghosting happens here.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 8
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 10:18:27 AM
Back in the day, I learned soon enough that IF A MAN LIKES A WOMAN & CAN COMMUNICATE EVEN MINIMALLY, he would let me know & SOON.

I had 3 categories in my mind when I did OLD:
#1-YES!
#2-maybe...
#3 HELL NO

I learned fast enough to not communicate AFTER & let them initiate. Generally, if a meet went that WELL, the man would be asking me for a 2nd meeting IN PERSON b4 the the 1st meet was over, or within 24 hrs of the 1st meet. Anyone who deviated from that, I never heard from after that.

So if I was interested, I knew w/ in 24 hours or less if he was that interested.

And if it was a maybe or a HELL NO, I didn't give it much thought.

Once I found that this worked for me, it became easy. I didn't really date that much from old as the years went by, I started doing more IRL dating.

Understand I am older & of a different generation.
 somewhatJaded14U
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 9
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 10:18:57 AM
It may seem crazy but it's much easier to just tell them over ghosting them. Telling them ends it right there, ghosting them means you may find out just how crazy they are, by the way they keep trying to get your attention. Also, and this has happened to me, they may see you out with someone else and decide to but in.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 10
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 10:46:11 AM
So many first meets result in the two people not seeing each other again, it doesn't seem necessary to say you're not interested. In fact, it seems rude to say so because there's the implication the other person couldn't figure out there's no interest. Often the lack of interest is mutual, so it's needless. Can think of two women (one from POF, one from Bumble) who sent a message within 24 hours saying there's no spark. I hadn't done anything to let her think I would contact her again, for example I didn't try to kiss her. It's not ghosting if neither person seems interested. The common lines about having a nice time or that you made it home safely do not imply any interest.

I'm one of those people who, if interested, will suggest a time and place for the next date before the current one is over, or within 24 hours.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 11
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 11:12:29 AM
If ghosting is vanishing then I’m more a fade away kinda person.
I’ll avoid making future plans on the meet/date and over the phone I’ll bat away any arrangements being made.
I’m such a wuss at flat out turning people down.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 12
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 12:49:25 PM

I'm one of those people who, if interested, will suggest a time and place for the next date before the current one is over, or within 24 hours.

That is smart. I think many women do not like it when a man acts wishy-washy & doesn't ask, or waits too long to ask again. By showing interest up front, it seems the man is confident & decisive & can turn a "maybe" into a YES if the woman was on the fence.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 13
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 12:58:32 PM

I'm one of those people who, if interested, will suggest a time and place for the next date before the current one is over


That'll only work if she likes you too. There have been many instances of a woman saying "yes" to a 2nd date while still on a 1st because she doesn't feel comfortable rejecting a man to his face.


or within 24 hours


Much better.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 14
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 1:55:58 PM
When I did OLD...I always sent a message/email after the date....
it was either to say Thanks for a great evening and I look forward to hearing from you soon...
or....Thanks for a great evening but I don't think we are a good match. Good luck in your search.

This crap of women shouldn't show interest is just another mind f*k game....
 hey_suze
Joined: 8/28/2017
Msg: 15
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 2:35:45 PM
I also prefer to say thank you or no thank you, after we have parted from our date.
It’s just easier that way, more so if it’s a no thank you.
I went on a date the other night, and he seemed to want to know there and then, so when I say, I didn’t think we were right for each other, that changed things pretty much there and then. He didn’t like being rejected and he then went on to say I wasn’t a very nice person and was rude.
Maybe that is why it’s harder saying no, on the date, because you really don’t know how the other will respond .
 MissKat18
Joined: 5/18/2018
Msg: 16
Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 3:59:59 PM
Always tell them whether by an email or in person. It's always best to let them know how you're feeling as long as you say it in a nice way. Ghosting just isn't the way to go IMO.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 17
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 4:02:25 PM
Well I may have THOUGHT it was a good date but if he doesn't call back... I guess he's had better!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 18
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 4:09:54 PM

This crap of women shouldn't show interest is just another mind f*k game....


When I did OLD, I showed my interest IN PERSON when I was present on the date. If they asked to get together again & I was into them, I let hem know.

If I wasn't into them, I let them know before they even asked. Why insult/reject a man or lead him on?

If he contacted me after the fact (& they only did pretty quickly, or not at all) it was always when there was mutual interest & I said yes...so that is not a mind f^ck.

Some women are not naturally aggressive w/ men & they attract men who are naturally more assertive w/ women- making for a good match.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 19
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 5:43:04 PM
If I knew he'd take it well, I owe it to him to tell what I think, and on the phone. If I thought that by telling him I would get a battery of questions trying to undermine my choice or an onslaught of violent insults, I would 'ghost' him with all blocks and walls in full operation. The former could turn out to be a nightmare, too, so the same would apply. I don't know; it would depend, on the situation, I guess.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 20
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 6:03:35 PM

I'm one of those people who, if interested, will suggest a time and place for the next date before the current one is over, or within 24 hours.


I would feel uncomfortable if my date 'suggests' something on the spot before I have had a chance to decide if this is something I want, especially if the first date isn't even over. I would feel boxed in, pressured, and left out of deciding if this is something I want in the comfort of my personal space. Even if I were very interested at the time, I would still take a day or two to check my schedule, work things around to accommodate time if I could, and think if this is something I want. That interest could change, too.

It would also be awkward for me to have to tell a man right to his face whether I am interested or not, without so much as having a little space to determine whether I am interested or to ensure I don't have any plans which might intersect a proposed date time. So, no, that suggestion won't work for me.

You could always try to communicate with her within a couple of days to set up another date for a mutually agreed time and venue.
Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 8:21:30 PM
There are times when I'm on a date and I don't want the night to end. You can usually tell if the other person feels the same way. Especially if your parked next to their car at 3AM and they don't want to leave. I've also had dates when I couldn't wait for the night to end. Those are easy to figure out. And finally, there have been nights when either one of us thought it was great but we never hear from the other person again. Yeah, I'm guilty of that. I don't like to see someone's feelings hurt.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 22
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Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/28/2018 8:32:31 PM

You can usually tell if the other person feels the same way



I don't like to see someone's feelings hurt.


When people do OLD, they have to be mature enough to accept responsibility for the situation, & not get so emotionally invested in a person after 1 date or even 10 dates.
 Dinno76
Joined: 3/3/2018
Msg: 23
Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/29/2018 10:54:38 AM
Just ghost them. After a while they will get the message. If they try to call you just block their number. Never let them know where you work or live also.
 Dinno76
Joined: 3/3/2018
Msg: 24
Do you tell the person your not interested or ghost after a good date?
Posted: 5/29/2018 10:57:15 AM
Of course you have to do that after you have sex with them.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 25
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not a ghost of a chance--i'm just not in the spirit.
Posted: 5/29/2018 11:25:06 AM
sometimes, its just plain obvious--back before the internet, I first-dated a nurse I met via the newspaper personals. She thought the medical professional was full of perfection, and I mentioned how many times the hospital she worked at screwed up my broken bones. She may have been glad for the date to end but she got pulled over for no headlights on in the city after dark, couldn't find her new registration, and the cop wouldn't let her drive. I offered to take her to her house to get the new paperwork still in the envelope, and while i'm sure she didn't want some stranger knowing where she lived, she decided it was the best bet.

from her body language and the rubber her little windup econobox left behind on the pavement, I decided no reason to contact her again, just to shoot her down :)

But if anyone shows an interest in me and i'm not feeling it...its my duty to set them straight. Of course, as a guy, I may have less to worry about crazy women manhandling me around :) But if a guy thinks he has a bunny-boiler on his hands...I could understand the desire to ghost.
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