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 beachbumin
Joined: 3/12/2014
Msg: 1
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Her new job is getting in the wayPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I guess im having some relationship issues. Ive been dating this girl for awhile and she just got a new job at a restaurant. We used to go out after her work but not so much any more. I am thinking because of her new job is too much for her but Im not sure on a few things. The new job does seem to make her more tired because she is a lot more drained and tired looking with this new job than from her previous job. All that's understandable but theres one questionable thing. The biggest thing though that Im questionable about is that she gives me the excuse that some times she gets out of there too late. The restaurant closes at 9 pm but some nights she texts me that she is just leaving the restaurant at 11 pm. Ive worked a little tiny bit at a restaurant but I never heard of a place that takes so long to shut down. She says there is late diners in there but dayum I find it hard to believe there is so many inconsiderate diners at this place? Am I being bull honked?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 2
Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 5:08:58 AM
normally, I wouldn't say park across the street or drive by yourself at 10pm and see if the lights are still on or if her car's in the lot with the windows fogged up...but you'll either have to trust her, or risk losing her by pressing for more information.
 ImNotAFish75
Joined: 5/22/2018
Msg: 3
Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 5:43:43 AM
How long have you been dating? If not that long... if it smells bad, it is bad. Does she have any noticeable changes in behavior? Has your physical intimacy slowed down or stopped all together? If so, follow your gut and move on unless you have kids together or have invested more than a year together.
 BretIAm
Joined: 3/25/2018
Msg: 4
Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 6:14:22 AM
Please define the length of time associated with "dating this girl for awhile."

On the one hand, restaurants that close at 9 PM don't shut off the lights and go home at 9 PM. There is work to do afterwards. Whether or not it lasts two hours depends on the type of restaurant and other variables to consider. Jobs are what pay the bills for most of us, so you will need to be flexible with her.

On the other hand, as ImNotAFish75 mentioned, your suspicions may be correct. If you're seeing red flags there is probably a good reason to trust your instincts. Besides, you're 24 (according to your profile). There are plenty of fish in the sea. Heh
 LDC9999
Joined: 9/16/2017
Msg: 5
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 6:26:35 AM
Is this the same gal you talked about in your other thread?
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 6
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 12:40:43 PM
She is working, and you're complaining about it?
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 7
Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 2:33:15 PM
Most restaurants dont close that early. Do you mean the kitchen closes at 9pm? If she is a manager or assistant manager, she would prolly be the last person to leave at night.
 Chambella_
Joined: 7/10/2016
Msg: 8
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 5:42:36 PM
You two should have a 'talk'.. no use asking us, ask her
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 9
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 7:16:20 PM

you two should have a ' talk ' ...


^^^^^
now that just makes ~ too much sense
who said blonds, are mainly just nice, to look at ??
not I ~
col ( chuckle out loud )

heart / sun
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 10
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 7:30:56 PM
btw ms bella ~ loved the dot dot ( .. )
after the word ' talk ' ..
I'm a dot dot doer myself, col
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 11
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 9:08:33 PM
Go w/ what your gut says.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 12
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/6/2018 10:47:49 PM
A two hour clean up is not unheard of in the restaurant business. It depends on a host of factors, like how do the kitchen staff work, or how many people are closing. Sometimes it is just 2-3 people who close the shop, including the manager. It can get very crazy, and dishes get stacked up to high heaven. If you are having trust issues, it is time to sit down and recognize what you are feeling. Is this really about her job, or are you just being insecure? You need more evidence before you start accusing her of stuff like cheating.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 13
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/7/2018 12:41:35 AM
I think you answered your own question by saying she looks and seems tired. What I think you should do is take an interest in her job, and ask what a typical night is like at the new job for her routine. Though, it seems like she already told you in a vague way. If she senses you're questioning her faithfulness, she may be pretty ticked off since you have no real reason for doing so.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 14
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/7/2018 10:08:10 AM
I think you know it's her job.
That's why you titled it "HER NEW JOB is getting in the way"

Way of what, I wonder.

But there's been a lot of good advice here.
Take it.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 15
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/7/2018 10:13:28 AM
From the title and from what you have written it sounds like the job is only getting in the way of time with you.

Shes working. People who work can be tired if their jobs have wierd hours. Why are you worried? Are you jealous that shes not spending as much time with you all of a sudden? Let her be, and when shes tired give her a massage and let her sleep.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 16
Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/7/2018 3:55:04 PM

That's why you titled it "HER NEW JOB is getting in the way



OP, maybe she should revolve her entire life around you?
 JGL209
Joined: 5/1/2018
Msg: 17
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/9/2018 3:14:12 PM
You know just because a business or restaurant is closed to the public doesn't mean the employees get to go home after hours ? There's clean up and prep for the next day. Maybe she's getting use to her new schedule? You should know better than anyone how she feels about you and how she acts around if.. if she doesn't act in love and doesn't want to make love as much might want to ask her why?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 18
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/11/2018 12:09:31 PM

The restaurant closes at 9 pm but some nights she texts me that she is just leaving the restaurant at 11 pm. Ive worked a little tiny bit at a restaurant but I never heard of a place that takes so long to shut down.

It certainly can. Many stop serving/ordering @9, not that the last people eating/drinking are out the door @9. Ymmv depending on house rules, day of the week, busyness, etc. Last customers out could be closer to 10pm. Not that they can't get a bulk of closing-down done -- certainly the kitchen can, although 15m more than usual isn't unheard of. But doing the last count of checks and all -- that can extend longer, or tending to your last customers who are staying in later-than-usual will get in the way of closing down some, as with someone needing to leave early and another having to pick up their slack too, etc.

But in the end, if you two are an item, her being able to come over and crash at your place after work and such should be an option. But yes, her new job is going to make things less convenient. You work with her & adapt, and be more understanding about it.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 19
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/12/2018 4:50:22 AM
Yes, restaurant hours are late and she's tired, so she's busy working - not cheating.

The big question is, why do you have trust issues? Who cheated on you in the past?
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 20
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/12/2018 1:36:25 PM
OP lists his profession in his profile as 'being meeeeeeee'
Sometimes the more free- spirited among us have a hard time being in a relationship with someone who has a 'real job' in which their work day is done only when the job is done.

OP you may need to find other ways to pass the time while your friend is out earning her daily bread.
I do not see this as a 'bull honk' situation.
 beachbumin
Joined: 3/12/2014
Msg: 21
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/12/2018 9:08:15 PM
Thanks everyone for your input. I didn't know this posted properly days ago. When I tried posting this it said error go figure.
 beachbumin
Joined: 3/12/2014
Msg: 22
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/21/2018 9:13:01 PM
reading a little to much into it boss
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 23
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/21/2018 9:16:11 PM

The big question is, why do you have trust issues?


Exactly. If her new job is an issue, then you've got bigger issues.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 24
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/22/2018 3:14:13 PM
It's been a few years, but I've worked in some restaurants. however, I had working hours perimeters. You never stated what hours she is supposed to work. If she supposed to get off at nine but leaving at 11 on a regular basis, then there is a problem.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 25
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Her new job is getting in the way
Posted: 6/24/2018 7:28:40 AM
FFS... she is working. Why are you so insecure? Is she hot and you're not? You're going to end up being alone if you continue to act like a child.
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