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 AUTHOR
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 1
Is it really that bad Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hello,
I’m looking to get some feedback on my profile. I don’t get a ton of messages or guys showing a lot of interest. I mean I think I’m pretty awesome! So I hope that other people do too. I also know that there are so many profiles on this site and I wonder if I just get lost in the sea of fish lol

Please be honest

Thank you!
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 2
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 11:08:25 AM
You have a great variety of pics and look very outdoorsy, i see that as a plus. But you also look like the type of person who doesn't take life seriously, not sure if that's what men looking for a relationship are looking for? As someone female i know this would put me off so wait for a guys opinion on that.

There's not a lot in your profile blurb but your pics do give a good representation of yourself i feel, plus guys are supposed to be simple creatures and so you'd think this is perfect?

Other than that i think your batchelors degree is probably what makes it so that you don't come up in mens search.
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 3
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 4:20:52 PM
Thank you for your feedback! I never thought about some of the things you brought up. I definitely don’t take life seriously, but never thought of that as a negative. I think I could definitely add more to my profile, I just assumed people don’t like to read wordy profiles. I’m totally proud of going and getting my bachelors degree, I don’t care if a guy has a degree or not, I wish their was an option to say that it doesn’t matter. Thanks again!
 Nyeahsers
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 4
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 4:28:40 PM
I don't see how having a batchelors degree would work against you. Your profile is great but could use a bigger blurb.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 5
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 5:33:43 PM
I don't think guys like to read wordy profiles either, mine is basically lists to make it easy for them to take in the info, lol.

The bachelor degree isn't a problem at all imo and it shouldn't really matter when it comes to dating (i doubt any guys would care either), i'm just guessing when guys look for someone using search they might not have the same education and so you won't turn up in their results? This site even takes into account things like your birth order and all kinds of stuff when it comes to search, well it seems to when i search.

Definitely get some guys opinions on the pics and looking like you don't take life seriously, I'm not sure what they are looking for when it comes to this. They might like it.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 6
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 7:00:25 PM
How about one photo without your eyeglasses.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 7
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 7:06:57 PM
Remove the ISJF or whatever that is, it's irrelevant.
Remove the line about 'just message me'. That sounds desperate. Don't do that.

Nowhere do you mention what kind of person you find attractive. Give the poor guys a clue.

Are you sending introductions/messages to guys YOU find interesting? No rule against it.
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 8
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 7:40:04 PM
Thank you for your input. I’m trying to update some of these things, and add more about me.
 sussex11
Joined: 12/24/2017
Msg: 9
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 7:40:11 PM
I think your profile is fine. That being said: I've noticed that allot of men don't even read the profile that much, they are visual creatures, so it's all up to the pictures. They typically want skinny, young pretty girls....that leaves me out. Showing a little leg or cleavage is good. Even your Christian lookers will notice you. I hate to say it: but sex sells. If your selling you, then something will have to get that attention. Hope this helps. I wish it were different for us.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 10
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 9:35:00 PM
On the other hand, I had no problem on this site without flashing any cleavage or leg. I didn't want to attract the type of guy who didn't read and wasn't already aware I had boobs and legs. Tami, I'm sure you don't, either. The beach photo is cute - no need to sex anything up. A big smile is inviting, friendly, and makes someone look immediately attractive. Play the smile card.
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 11
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/10/2018 10:46:30 PM
Yeah, I know that physical attraction is important but I’m pretty modest and don’t want to show extra skin just to get attention. I definitely think having an inviting smile is important, when I see a guys profile and he’s not smiling in any photos that is a major turn off.

Also, I’m shy and sometimes a woman of few words so It’s hard to come up with what to put in my blurb about myself.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 12
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 4:40:09 AM
Something is missing. Try looking at profiles of other women to get ideas about the types of things you could say that apply to you and what you're looking for. Funny face pic...men are pretty tired of them.

Have you joined meetup.com? It's a site that connects people for socializing, mostly to share interests. It could be a nice way to meet men and enjoy yourself while doing so. By me, there are kayaking groups, hiking groups, general going out socializing groups.

I like your high self esteem level! Don't ever lose that!
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 13
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 9:09:03 AM
Really? No silly faces! Well, I’m gonna keep it because I think it’s an accurate representation of me. As far as the conversation starters section, what do people typically put there? Thank you everyone your advice is very helpful and I appreciate it.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 14
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 12:20:04 PM

I think your profile is fine. That being said: I've noticed that allot of men don't even read the profile that much, they are visual creatures, so it's all up to the pictures. They typically want skinny, young pretty girls....



OK...a little twisted phrasing which sounds more bitter than observational. BUT...I like to build on this point.

I lived in San Diego county, I lived in LA county...I live in the SF Bay Area now. I have lived in more than half a dozen states in the Midwest and South, and I was raised in the East Coast. You know the song, ‘California girls ?’ It’s meant to be cute, but it makes a brutal point. The REAL deal...is, California is an incredibly competitive dating market.

Your profile is ok, you’re still in your carefree 20‘s and the guys you’re looking for are as well. I would advise blowing out your email restrictions. You’ll get unwanted attention maybe, so do I. On my monthly tour, I usually bank a dozen or two to the delete/block pile. It’s true guys search by types...generally ‘thin’ and ‘athletic’ are my filters. But not always.

Education is irrelevant. I think that’s becoming a catch all for ‘attitude’ and ‘opinionated.’ Oh, I’ve seen some of the hottest looking women here...with the worst attitudes. One I remember said, ‘Look, I know I’m beautiful so don’t waste my time. Before you even think of emailing me, read the requirements carefully.’ A bit ugly, but to be fair, if she was wearing Victoria Secret ? Should could EASLY be one of their models. So, she’s on a FREE internet dating site...interesting.

I’m not sure online dating, or POF is your best option. I do echo alternatives, such as MeetUp groups. You might able to connect better to someone in these kinds of venues rather than a profile thrown up on the internet. A lot of people are this way and the types of people they can impress work differently in real world situations.

Just some thoughts from the same battleground.
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 15
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 5:06:40 PM
You need better pics and to fill out your profile a bit more. I am also in the San Diego area and my fat 40 year old ass gets up to 50 messages a day..but to be fair they are probably mass messaging while I am mass ignoring. You should be having no issues getting messages but you are only 24 and it is better to meet in real life.
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 16
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 5:42:32 PM
I’m a total introvert and can be shy at times so I really struggle with meeting people. Some others suggested meet up and maybe I’ll look into that for meeting people in a different setting than a bar. When you say better photos do you mean the quality of my images? I have the pof app and they seem to look fine on there but maybe on the website they look like shit lol
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 17
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 6:06:14 PM
"Please be honest"
LOL Every time I read this, from a person asking for a profile review I know this will happen...………….The reviewers, ARE honest...………….and then ………….Oh never mind...………...Lead the horse to water...…………….
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 18
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 6:11:42 PM
I used to be very shy at your age. It never quite goes away, but can lessen with age. Even though I was about 56 when I joined meetup, still being somewhat shy, I thought it's going to be awkward for me, but it wasn't. There are established friendships, but people were welcoming. There tend to be many more women in the groups, but I was still asked out by a few men, but my real purpose was to be social and meet people after divorcing.

That conversation starter part is weird, because it recently used to say to list your idea of a first date. I thought they added that back in, that you can talk about that. I would probably gear a conversation starter with something inclusive/geared towards the guy or talk about what you'd like to do on a first date.
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 19
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 7:09:22 PM

LOL Every time I read this, from a person asking for a profile review I know this will happen...………….The reviewers, ARE honest...………….and then ………….Oh never mind...………...Lead the horse to water...…………….


If you don’t want to give feedback, or don’t like what people have said in their thread why would you reply?
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 20
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 7:12:25 PM
NewYorker58 thank you, I think meetup will be a good way for me to practice my social skills and make connections. Oh that makes sense now why I always see people saying what their idea of a good first date would be in the conversation starter section.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 21
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 7:50:37 PM
LOL I did give feedback. You just didn't like it. I DO like what other people have said. I agree with what others have advised. You are ignoring them or dismissing what they wrote.
You asked for "honest". You got it.
For example. You may love your "I'm being silly" picture. Men, no, not so much.
 tam_buk_2
Joined: 4/21/2018
Msg: 22
Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/13/2018 8:35:42 PM
Ok, I have actually changed a few things on my profile from the advice that was given on here. In the end it is my profile and I want it to represent me truthfully. I am appreciative of the feedback I have received and have chosen what changes to implement and which things I wanted to remain the same. Ladyinred0407 I think it would be difficult for you to say what men like since you are a woman, but I can respect your opinion and still choose to have my own.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 23
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/14/2018 5:48:45 AM
Best if you remove "Not here for a hookup". That line is in a kazillion other profiles, and people don't believe the claim. If anything, players will consider their chances of a hookup *higher* if they see that line in a profile.

Every paragraph starts with "I". Ideally there would be less of an "I" focus.

It's quite possible for some women to know men will probably like or dislike something and vice versa.
 2fuzy
Joined: 7/11/2017
Msg: 24
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/14/2018 10:50:38 AM
my .02 but what the hell do I know its not bad the pics are good in other words not the usual cropped shots from goofy angles that are pointless anyway
However I can only tell you things from my point of view and I would be looking for more of what makes you tick in your about section its mostly fluff yes contrary to what others have said guys do look there and fluff is slightly better then Just ask
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 25
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Is it really that bad
Posted: 6/14/2018 3:08:25 PM
I like your new pics, they're really great. Good profile imo.

I think we need to realise that people can ask for advice and the person asking doesn't need to take it, advice is just guidance and not the law or anything.

Honestly though i just got peed off because a guy is moaning about getting advice (well 2 guys this week have done this) coz they start making excuses for why they shouldn't bother trying to attract anyone. I think some people (not the OP here obviously) do just make these topics for attention.
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