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 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 1
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
How long do most people date before they decide whether they want to(or don't want to) live together? I read this article with a survey which shows that most people decide on this after 6 months to a year of dating.What is your experience?

https://jezebel.com/how-long-should-you-date-someone-before-moving-in-toget-1685028321
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 7:00:21 AM
There is no magic formula. But if it was me, I would wait at least a year...……………..or forever? LOL
I love LAT. Love my man but not so much his dirty socks!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 3
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 7:21:02 AM
When you guys decide that's what you want to do.
You get all your ducks in a row, figure out finances and then do it.
Other people have no idea how long this will take you.
You do it when it feels right and it either works out or it doesn't.
Other people's formulas were made for them not you.
There is not one size fits all when asking when to say I love you and
when to move in together.

People can say waiting longer works best, but there are people who
didn't wait and it worked. Who knows? No one does, that's who.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 4
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 7:29:06 AM
Depends on the circumstances and how fast a relationship progresses. But I probably wouldn't move in with someone after 6 months to a year. Maybe 2 years.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 5
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 7:50:51 AM
uhm...never?!

I will absolutely not move out of my home ...
I bought it, I remodeled it and it's paid for!!
Will not give that up for anyone!!

If the time would come that we would live together....it would have to be here, cuz I'm not budging!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 6
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 8:54:43 AM
https://people.com/archive/a-pop-rock-rebel-finds-an-unlikely-mr-right-vol-37-no-1/

A Pop-Rock Rebel Finds An Unlikely Mr. Right

J.D. PODOLSKY January 13, 1992 12:00 PM
SHE WAS A VALLEY GIRL WITH A PENCHANT for purple hair and all-night partying. He was a stripe-tied Reaganite and a scion of Hollywood royalty (actor James Mason and his wife Pamela). She became the lead singer in a girlie pop group and an overnight star with a nasty drug problem. He became, at 21, heir to a $200 million-a-year company and lived like a baron in the English countryside.

“He was definitely from the wrong side of the tracks,” Belinda Carlisle, the former Go-Go turned soloist, says of husband Morgan Mason. “There was nothing to make me think we had a chance of getting along.”

“Who would’ve thought?” says Morgan. “It was destiny.”

Or maybe dumb luck. After five years of marriage, the couple are expecting their first child in June and seem as content as ever. “I did my little pregnancy test and then phoned with the news,” says Carlisle, 33, who at the time was in Europe promoting her fourth solo album, Live Your Life, Be Free. “We were sort of not trying, but then, I guess, something happened.”

“Yeah,” cracks Mason, 36. “We decided to have sex.”

That, of course, is a private joke.

When they first met in 1984, at the opening of a Chinese restaurant, neither sensed much attraction. But Carlisle’s friend, screenwriter Diane Duarte, saw some potential and, pretending to be the singer, phoned up Mason later and invited him to a Hall and Oates concert. The two-way trickery worked. After the show, “we went to Trader Vic’s,” Mason recalls, “and a couple of scorpions later we were thinking, ‘Hey, you look pretty good.’ ” No kidding. The very next day, Carlisle moved her belongings into Mason’s Century City condo. “I tried convincing everyone around me that I knew what I was doing,” she says. “They didn’t buy it. I just knew, though, and he knew too.”

Three years ago, the couple moved into a funky, three-bedroom hillside Hollywood cottage built in 1937 by actress Carole Lombard. Lombard’s foot and handprints are still molded in the kitchen floor, but Carlisle has filled the place with doodads and swap-meet detritus like ceramic vases and plastic blow-up furniture.

Despite their impending parenthood, the couple’s pairing remains a mystery to many. “I can’t believe that he found a girl as extraordinarily beautiful as Belinda who is a homebody,” says Mason’s mother, Pamela. “They seem to agree on everything.” Marvels matchmaker Duarte: “They both still talk baby talk to each other. It’s kind of sickening.”

The fact is, of course, Carlisle and Mason actually have a lot in common. “Republican, Democrat—we don’t care about that stuff,” he says. “We care about issues that are personal to us, like animal rights and abortion (they’re pro-choice) and the few other things that we think are worth fighting for.” Not to mention a few that probably aren’t: a passion for take-out food (vegetarian, Italian and Indian), lightweight TV (Hard Copy, The Simpsons), fine music (she likes Sinatra, he prefers Van Halen—”the early stuff”), and pets (five dogs, two turtles and a parrot—named Humbert Humbert after father James Mason’s role in Lolita).

“It sounds so boring,” says Mason.

“S-o-o-o normal,” adds Carlisle.

And so different from Carlisle’s San Fernando Valley upbringing. The eldest of seven children born to Walt Carlisle, a contractor, and Joanne, a housewife, she gravitated to L.A.’s new-wave scene in the ’80s and met up with Jane Wiedlin, Charlotte Caffey, Gina Schock and Kathy Valentine. “On a lark,” she says, they formed the Go-Go’s. Their first album, Beauty and the Beat, sold more than two million records, and “suddenly we were stars,” says Carlisle. “I’d never been in a band or really done any singing. It turned into something much bigger than any of us ever dreamed.”

The dream, though, eventually turned bad, and the Go-Go’s bubbly spirit was soon drained by drugs, pressure and perpetual conflict. Carlisle contended with a very public weight problem and a failed romance with L.A. Dodger Mike Marshall. Most of her bandmates scorned her because of her higher profile, and in 1985 the Go-Go’s broke up.

Mason’s own life had gone into fast-forward early. He made his acting debut at 3 (in the TV movie Panic), was 9 when his parents divorced and 16 when he dropped out of school. When his maternal grandfather, Isadore Ostrer, died in 1975, Morgan inherited a seat on the board of the family-owned Illingworth, Morris Company, a wool manufacturer based in England. After three years abroad, he sold the firm, moved back to L.A. and into a four-year romance with actress Louise Fletcher, 20 years his senior.

In 1979, Mason wrote to Ronald Reagan, offering “to do anything” for his presidential campaign. After starting out organizing fund-raisers, he was in the White House within a year, first as a deputy chief of protocol and later as a special assistant to the President acting as a conduit between the Administration and state legislators.

Quitting politics after Reagan’s first term, he turned to movie producing (scoring his first big success with 1990’s Sex, Lies, and Videotape). Carlisle recorded her first solo LP, dropped 20 pounds and, after joining Alcoholics Anonymous, ended her dependencies. “Morgan had a real settling influence on me,” she says. “I tired of the partying, of always being messed up.” After a mock marriage in front of Notre Dame in Paris (“surrounded by all these tourists and in front of a puppet show,” notes Carlisle), the two eloped to Lake Tahoe.

Mason, “ready in life for a step-up in pace,” joined William Morris earlier, where he now works as an agent. Carlisle, pals again with her old bandmates, briefly reunited with the group last year for a greatest hits album, but a future with the Go-Go’s, she says, is a no-go. “I don’t want to be a pathetic revival band trying to re-create something that can’t be.”

Now, with motherhood looming, the singer has forsaken touring, her personal trainer and her daily five-mile runs. Does she care? “What the hell,” she answers happily. “I’m letting it all go. I’m eating a lot and getting used to being a fat pig. And I’m enjoying it.”

J. D. PODOLSKY

this is an old article I thought of it immediately when I read the question CBGB

I saw her tell the story in a TV interview & saw how amazingly happy she was.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 7
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 9:30:07 AM

Who knows? No one does, that's who.

Boo you just killed the forums with this truth :)

About 5-10 years or like LIR says.....forever
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 8
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 9:37:33 AM
I will shave my head completely bald and tattoo ''Space For Rent" on each side of it before I will ever live in the same house with a woman.

I am the eternal king of the pig pen.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 9:41:38 AM
RevSwine
I am the eternal king of the pig pen.


Hahahaha

And I am the Queen of my Home Sweet Hovel!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 10
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 9:42:55 AM
Not until you've saved enough money to move out again, and don't move someone in without knowing the laws in your area as to getting someone out of your home. Love and romance is thrilling, but wait a year to get to know someone through all the seasons, etc., because resentment and hate is hell. All those great stories people tell you about instant love forever won't mean a thing to you if you screw up. A person to love and respect for a lifetime is worth waiting for.
 warmlightning
Joined: 1/15/2016
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 9:43:05 AM
Obviously, there are no set rules.

It took 2 years with my first love. But we lived together as room-mates for that 2 years. Oddly, the relationship changed after making it official.
My second love (the father of my child) took 1 year.
My 3rd and last love took 2 years -- we'd still be together if he hadn't up and died on me (the **stard! lol). And that's something to discuss (wills etc.) as we get older.

Not sure what State/Province/country you're in but common-law inheritance/taxes/debt/child support etc. can become crushing issues.

I completely agree with browneyes... Discuss financial expectations BEFORE moving in! I never did which led to surprises.

Also, you have to be willing to put your "feelings" aside and compromise, but it won't work if you're the only one doing the compromising.

There's nothing like moving in together that changes the dynamics of a relationship -- both good and bad.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 12
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 12:09:18 PM
My first 'proper' boyfriend i moved in with him straight away, we had known each other a couple of years though, it lasted almost 2 years. After him i never lived with my next partner until i was pregnant with our 2nd child, and i regretted it, it lasted a few months. And my last kids dad we moved in around 3 months and were together over a decade.

You don't truly get to know someone unless you live with them i think.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 12:49:56 PM
I've only ever lived with one guy. I was pregnant and my roomate had gotten a teaching job up north so moved away and I was faced with either having to move into something more affordable or let my baby's dad move in. We had been going out 5 months (I was almost 5 months pregnant) and I didn't want to be with him but he pushed his way in and I was worried about finances after I had the baby and was scared of living alone. Then my dad basically bought me and him a house (as a surprise gift) and with both our names on the mortgage I was stuck. He was such a deadweight not contributing to household expenses at all.

I would move in with someone again. The fact of the matter is if I can find someone who I am compatible with that I love it would be hell of a lot easier to have a two-income household.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 14
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 2:36:58 PM
A long, long time! And don't get rid of most of your stuff so she can move her nicer stuff in. When she moves out, you're left with a nearly empty home.

reverendswine, good one! Oh, and I can help you with that haircut. :-)
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 15
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 2:40:27 PM

Depends on the circumstances and how fast a relationship progresses. But I probably wouldn't move in with someone after 6 months to a year. Maybe 2 years.


That sounds reasonable. 1-2 years. I once dated a guy for 4 years and we kept our own separate residences. I had my own place so understandably, he spent a lot of time at my place because he lived with roommates and his college was closer to my apartment. He didn't start to spend 90% of his time at my place until we'd already been dating for about 8 months.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 16
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 3:41:53 PM
At least a year of steady dating/involvement in each others lives.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 4:15:08 PM
You should wait at least 19 to 24 months to move in or get married. You need to see a track record over time..........it's hard to keep up an act that long, there is a good chance you'll see the real person by then.

But you could get engaged anytime.

Also keep in mind that some people never move in or live together - even when they are married.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 18
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 4:19:18 PM
I saw this coming a mile away☺ I don't have a timeline to say when is preferable, but my suggestion would be to try it without anyone giving up their place first. Before anyone moves anywhere, I'd work out the details of who pays what, who cleans what, how you're gonna spend holidays, see if the pets will get along, etc.

Who would potentially move in with who? Is anyone having to sell a house?
 warmlightning
Joined: 1/15/2016
Msg: 19
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 4:45:11 PM

And don't get rid of most of your stuff so she can move her nicer stuff in.


Ha, ha, ha...

I got rid of my QUALITY STUFF because HE din't like it (fair enough. it's just STUFF), After his death I asked his kids if they wanted his stuff. They said it was CRAPPOLLA/SHITE and good luck with that. I gave his and my little, remaining STUFF, away (and I'm learning stuff is just stuff). But I have nowhere to sit, and I'm sleeping on the floor (maybe I made a bad decision?). Maybe some STUFF is necessary?

Come on dude. It's a two-way street.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 8:20:37 PM

Posted By: Newyorker58 on 6/25/2018 618 PM
Subject: How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Message: I saw this coming a mile away☺ I don't have a timeline to say when is preferable, but my suggestion would be to try it without anyone giving up their place first. Before anyone moves anywhere, I'd work out the details of who pays what, who cleans what, how you're gonna spend holidays, see if the pets will get along, etc.

Who would potentially move in with who? Is anyone having to sell a house?


Thanks for all the posts. Living together is a long term goal for us.Probably couldn't do it for a year or 2. My girlfriend and I both have our own houses but hers is bigger(lol). It's a 1970 split level with 4 bedrooms in the suburbs.My house is a 1922 bungalow with 2 bedrooms in the city. She has a dog and a cat and I have 2 cats. It would probably be easiest to live in her house(more room) but she likes were I live. It is a nice neighborhood and there are more things to do in the city.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 21
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 10:42:45 PM
aaaah, the ol' how long is a piece of string - which reminds me of 'what is the string made of'????

for 'me'... I'm dating 'forever' and living apart.. there will be no 'living together'... heck, I'm kinda counting on my 14yo sickish cat to depart soon so I get the whole bed to myself and running away from home when my son is 'legal age'...

for others, like each of my siblings, they met and married/moved in within 5 weeks and are on 20/30 years of marriage....

it's a personal 'between the couple' thang and (I believe) only those involved should make the decision... (but cover your @$$ wisdom from other's goes a long way)

offtopic: wow, what have I missed these last few weeks??? Things developing are they CBGB??
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 22
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/25/2018 11:22:02 PM
CBGB, I would think about renting out your house, and not selling it, if you were thinking of selling it. Continue keeping your investment.
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/26/2018 4:15:21 AM
You should wait FOREVER. Why ruin a good thing? You have made it this long by yourself what is the rest of your life time. Personally, I think, if a s/o is really necessary, they should live up the street or on the next block. No way in HELL I will ever live with a man again, I don't care how hawt he is.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 24
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/26/2018 4:19:57 AM
I think she should rent her house out & move in w/ you!

And do not wait a long time- let's face it, once you hit a certain age...why wait?

So you can shack up at the Nursing Home?
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 25
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 6/26/2018 7:21:17 AM

Posted By: TheEvolutionOfJessi on 6/26/2018 1245 AM
Subject: How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Message: aaaah, the ol' how long is a piece of string - which reminds me of 'what is the string made of'????

for 'me'... I'm dating 'forever' and living apart.. there will be no 'living together'... heck, I'm kinda counting on my 14yo sickish cat to depart soon so I get the whole bed to myself and running away from home when my son is 'legal age'...

for others, like each of my siblings, they met and married/moved in within 5 weeks and are on 20/30 years of marriage....

it's a personal 'between the couple' thang and (I believe) only those involved should make the decision... (but cover your @$$ wisdom from other's goes a long way)

offtopic: wow, what have I missed these last few weeks??? Things developing are they CBGB??


Thanks Jessi! We just celebrated our 2 month anniversary(lol).We are are a real couple now,even had a "family" dinner with all our kids and they all approve of our relationship(I am her +1 for her daughters wedding next year). Now we just have to introduce our animals to each other.


Posted By: Newyorker58 on 6/26/2018 102 AM
Subject: How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Message: CBGB, I would think about renting out your house, and not selling it, if you were thinking of selling it. Continue keeping your investment.


That is a really good idea Newyorker58,thanks!


Posted By: BLONDE_ANGEL_1 on 6/26/2018 657 AM
Subject: How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Message: I think she should rent her house out & move in w/ you!

And do not wait a long time- let's face it, once you hit a certain age...why wait?

So you can shack up at the Nursing Home?


Lol there is a senior housing community with assisted living and memory care across from the lake on my street. Everytime we take a walk it I joke that we should just cut to the chase and move in there.
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