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 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 1
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What dating mode are you in?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
We all are dating for specific reasons and even though we put certain things on our profiles like "not looking for serious" and "just looking for friends" we are have a specific mode we are in. Sometimes we are looking for one certain thing but we are willing to accept others in the meantime. Which of the following modes are you in:

1) dating for a longterm relationship and children
a) with marriage b) with cohabitation only
2) dating for a longterm relationship and companionship
a) with marriage b) with cohabitation only c) with no cohabitation
3) dating for fun but not necessarily longterm relationships
4) dating just for sex
5) dating for extramarital affairs or swinging
6) not dating, just online looking for friendship and conversation
7) looking for a friends with benefits
8) looking for casual encounters.

I realize the above question is personal so don't answer if you don't want. But what are your opinions on certain modes?
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 2
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 11:08:08 AM
6

When I was dating for #2 I used other sites but I received the most attention from this back in 2015.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 3
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 12:09:54 PM
9. Content with my own company.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 4
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 12:27:45 PM
6 and 9

he he.........................................................
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 5
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 12:37:57 PM
None of these choices apply to me right now. I am here for the forums. When I was actively using OLD, it was a combination of 2 and 3.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 6
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 12:41:14 PM
I was in mode 2 and since I found a girlfriend(or rather,she found me)I've gone from dating to relationship mode. I know I didn't have to say all that but the forum wouldn't let me post a short answer.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 7
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 12:46:19 PM
#10: just here for the forums!!

when I did use this site way back when.....it was to look for a not real serious relationship!
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 8
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 2:32:34 PM
I’ve been 3,4 and a little bit of 8 over the years.
Now I’ve been single for a while and I have to say it’s going very well.
Like....it’s working out.
I think I’m the one :)
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 9
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 2:50:03 PM
I will take whatever one lands me the right lady I am not picky on it.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 10
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 3:48:20 PM

What dating mode are you in?


Pie A LA MODE.
What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 5:02:46 PM
I'm in it for 2 but will take 3, 4, 7, 8 until 2 happens.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 12
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/13/2018 6:37:27 PM
I'm not on POF to date but if I had to choose from that list it'd be 3-4. I reinstalled Tinder and Bumble on my phone.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 13
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/14/2018 1:47:29 AM
2a. At the moment since I am unsure if I want kids and even if I did it wouldn't be until at least 4 years. My boyfriend wants kids but not right now but he says he would be ok with if we didn't have kids.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 14
What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/14/2018 5:33:24 AM
Not looking for marriage, but otherwise'll accept what is given from an attractive local woman--beggars, choosers, etc :) But I like this line:

"sometimes we are looking for one certain thing, but we are willing to accept others in the meantime"

which is generally a healthy attitude. Of course, one shouldn't try to make a casual relationship into an engagement, that's making the proverbial silk purse. As long as one has eyes and ears open, any of the choices fit an individual and if they can find a consenting adult to go along, good for all of them. I don't agree with extramarital affairs, for example, but obviously they happen anyway. Be honest about it, and if you're good looking, its going to be overlooked by some partners anyway--I've watched it happen, sometimes with other married people. we've had people post here about being happily married until they found out, so apparently partners can be blissful not discussing or dealing with whatever reason led to the affair. personally, i'd want someone to just come up, raise the issue, and we solve it or separate.

"Like....it’s working out. I think I’m the one :)"

>>good news, you are not the only one. I have people ask why I live in a small town, for instance, if its so bad for dating, and I reply that there's other things in life besides dating, and a small town provides some of them. it would be nice to have a romantic relationship, but it would be nice to have a beach house, too. Both require some big costs to go along with 'em. and so not everyone pays them.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 15
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/14/2018 9:51:09 AM
I think many of us are afraid to ask for what we really want. We are looking for things we think we can get rather than what we really want...

I keep saying I'm looking for a friend with benefits. If I'm really being honest with myself though, that is really just a copout. I'm afraid of getting hurt and the fwb thing is maybe a way I can keep a shell around myself. I have this thought that maybe a guy I actually like won't want me for a relationship but he might want be for an fwb. And I think I would be okay with that for a while...What I really want is a relationship though. I'm afraid to say that though because I know what people will say, that I should be working on myself or I should be happy being single. I just have this yearning for a real relationship with a man, I want to be able to one day fall in love with someone who loves me back.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 16
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/14/2018 12:42:28 PM
^Oh I could say what I really want but God hasn't been answering prayers for over 2k years don't see him acting any time soon.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 17
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/15/2018 7:32:06 AM
Me Number 2 and just part of No 3

2) dating for a long term relationship and companionship
c) with no cohabitation

Edit to add: I am ok w/ my own Company, so no pressure for me to find Mr. Right
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 18
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/16/2018 2:00:50 PM
11 Here for the free sandwiches

12 Here to get an estimate
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 19
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/16/2018 4:48:00 PM
13.-Here for a good laugh. ( I got it with 11 and 12)
 FDB777
Joined: 7/11/2018
Msg: 20
What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/18/2018 9:36:57 PM
At first I was 3.
Now I'm 2 and open to a and b (naturally).

However, I am not looking for that on this website. I don't think that I could take a man that I met from this website seriously. Plus it would always be in the back of my mind that he was on this website hoin' it up. I can't live with that kind of pressure, lol.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 21
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/20/2018 2:27:32 PM
#2, but pretty much lost confidence that the right one is out there. I know I've gotten way too picky, but I like where I am in life. I do miss the love and companionship of a woman though.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 22
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/20/2018 7:19:15 PM
I never date without the intention of finding a long lasting commitement ,that is just us two and we don’t wish to have or see anybody else.I get that from my gran, she didn’t like a lot of her husbands ways, but they had a commitment to fall back on to ride the waves. I’ve not met anyone I actually wish to marry for real, I’ve had offers but didn’t feel I liked them after long term relationship and I’ve also had ones where I might have wanted a commitement ,but they feel otherwise so both those situations have ended any further dating with them. No point I dont have patients with something or someone ,I’m not that bothered about, or they are not bothered about or not feeling it with me. Too many potentials around that could be a great fit. What I definitely know is those that are casual and will be a die hard casual dater, either just with you or with anybody, the latter being for various reasons.The former being they just are not that into you. Men go for what they want simple. The ones that are getting something rewarding but wish to not commit will throw up every obstacle they can muster if not interested, they will do this if they sort of like you but it’s just for now with them and sometimes I’ve tested that for my own amusement to see what excuse they will come back with next, while not even being anywhere near that page myself.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 23
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/21/2018 9:00:50 AM
I've now stopped looking for now. I've taken my picture down. My life is too much of a mess to try anything and I'm struggling with a lot of wants and needs that I can't seem to figure out. What I do want is a relationship, a longterm one, but I just feel like that is out of reach right now. I go back and forth in confidence. I'll look at myself in the mirror, tell myself I'm a good person, I'm intelligent, energetic and I look nice, even if I'm not thin, that women who aren't find a guy to love and who loves them back all the time. But then I go out on another meet-and-greet and the results always evaporate that hope and confidence. I think to myself, why do I put up with this torture? Then I'm reminded why every time I see a happy couple, every time I see another long lonely person, every time I watch a romantic pairing on tv. And then there's my body which seems to be shouting for sex and a year ago I had no desire at all, how the heck to you just turn off that desire? Anyway, I'm hitting pause on things. Hopefully I'll have the willpower. Unfortunately loneliness for friendship and intimacy lead me back whenever I do. But I need to get things solved in my life. I need to get my kids' custody case resolved, I'll need to pay off the lawyer fees, and hopefully not too long in the future I can get my own place for me and the kids. I feel like being at my moms I can't control certain areas of my life.

I think another thing that really bugs me is seeing my ex with a girlfriend, them living together and having a home together. I think about how much he put me through, how mean he was to me so and I think its just not fair that he gets to move on with a good life and I am stuck living at my moms and paying for everything for the kids. Am I destined to be lonely the next 20 years? How does a person come to terms with that?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 24
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/21/2018 9:21:27 AM

Am I destined to be lonely the next 20 years? How does a person come to terms with that?

They stop being overly dramatic....and realize once they have their life back on track it will be easier to date and find a man.
Unless you honestly think that is going to take 20 years to do...o_O

I highly suggest you start putting yourself into situations that you can make a girlfriend....
at this point....IMO....that is far more important than a boyfriend.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 25
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What dating mode are you in?
Posted: 7/21/2018 10:17:04 AM
I wish there were online sites to find female friends like there is for online dating. I know many have mentioned Meetups but there is nothing for my area. I joined a local TOPS club last year and though everyone is great there, I haven't met any kindred spirits. I also work will all women and though there have been certain women I think I would really gel with, there doesn't seem to be any openings for friends with them if you can understand what I mean. Whenever I've met the best friends in my life (all who are now spread all around the country) it was usually in a situation when we were both looking for friends. In many ways it's just like dating. You can't force a connection, its either there or its not. I go to the park lots with my kids or to various rec activities with the kids and I hope one day I will just find another mom that I click with. I did find one and we actually met up a few times and things seemed to be great but then she was invited out one time with another group of women and I wasn't included in that and since then she's always been busy when I've asked if she wanted to do something. I know that there's still rumours going on about me and my ex around town and I sometimes feel like that's what makes it difficult for me. He pissed off a lot of people and I'm struggling to have people realize I'm a separate entity now and it's difficult. I think maybe they look down on me because I was with him and its forever kind of tattooed to my reputation here. I have hope though that gradually over time things will get better. I wish I could join more school or church committees or something to make connections with other women but my work schedule makes it difficult.
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