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 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 1
Where is the Error?Page 1 of 1    
At some point of my life, I believed in online dating. However, after a while, I felt like it is kinda fake and related to people with huge issues. Thus, I thought traditional dating may work better.

By chance, I got the video below; a drama marriage about a white Christian dude started his marriage traditionally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKDp2tPQB9I

I wonder if the problem is in people or the method.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 2
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Where is the Error?
Posted: 7/18/2018 4:05:28 PM
If ya do get to meet and date from IRL that may be something that would work well for you. The Vid was long, but lots of good info from that guy regarding Red Flags.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 3
Where is the Error?
Posted: 7/18/2018 8:34:51 PM

__TEXASCHICK__
If ya do get to meet and date from IRL that may be something that would work well for you. The Vid was long, but lots of good info from that guy regarding Red Flags.


I think it is one of the dilemma why many men do not want to get married anymore.

Among of other reasons, those men are simply lost their trust either in dating online or traditionally.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QQoPJqBQH8

Unfortunately, those men started to look at women as targets to fulfill their desires and loneliness, rather than potential future wives.


 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 4
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Posted: 7/19/2018 8:57:37 PM
Think about this one-

A customer/ friend has his second wife. She's nice, I know he got her on one of those date a foreign lady sites. He told me that his wife was sick, about six months ago, but he never went into detail about what she had. I found out today.

I was doing some work on a property he wants to sell. She came into the room I was working in, and started talking to another lady. That lady, was her reflection in a mirror.........Alzheimer's.

Makes me glad that I'm still single, and I feel for him.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 5
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Where is the Error?
Posted: 7/21/2018 2:34:14 PM

Thus, I thought traditional dating may work better.

How can traditional dating not spawn from initiating contact online? "Online Dating" doesn't mean you're dating online. Yeah, that wouldn't be traditional. It's a term used that instead of mingling at a bar to get a gal's # to then ask out on a date -- you're mingling online instead.

It's the platform to Find a date. Whether you date traditionally or not.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 6
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Posted: 7/22/2018 5:56:22 PM
I think some people who have trouble dating in real life will also have trouble dating online but that applies more to women than to men. I think a man's chances are way better IRL if his looks are not the best. I often glance at guys in the grocery store for instance and think if whether I saw him online I would talk to him just based on his headshot. Honestly, many I wouldn't but the way a guy carries himself in general can be a huge attracter and his energy too and that can't be shown through online. When I was younger, like below 25, single men and women were more likely to find each other IRL but after 25, the chances that someone is single is less and less. And the absence of a wedding ring means nothing. Half of men in longterm livein committed relationships are not married. So even if you meet a great guy in real life, are you actually going to come right out and ask "Are you single?"

I have known many many people who are in longterm relationships with people they met online. In fact, I would say about 80% of couples I know who met in the last 10 years, who met after high school/college years, met online. Most of the rest met through friends/family but some did meet in the community by chance so there's always hope I guess.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 7
Where is the Error?
Posted: 7/23/2018 7:47:42 PM
I think what some people want to say is the problem lies with the individuals, rather than the methods. Online dating seemed very different few years ago. However, it is much easier to lie online, than in real life.

Anyways, whatever the method is, please watch the video below, to get more about the problem in depth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KObTMXH2xaE
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 8
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Posted: 7/23/2018 11:35:40 PM

Online dating seemed very different few years ago. However, it is much easier to lie online, than in real life.

The % chance of running into a catfish is Much greater many years ago VS now. Going online is isn't traditional (yet) but it's not anti-traditional, and it is The Norm. Even for traditional folks.

I think it's that there's certain sites that reel in a high % for non-traditional dating (Tinder), but you can go back to 'traditional times' that gives people warm-fuzzy goosebumps, and you can find bars that provided the same back then, too. In the end, for more traditional folks, ya stick where you'll find more fellow traditional people -- Match, eHarmoney, Xian Mingle, and even POF (but limiting your options; yes traditionalists are here too).

Thing is, it's just frustration when one can't find a date, and wished there were more like themselves where they could at least get more at-bats where they would land a date once in a great while, at least. :)
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 9
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Posted: 7/24/2018 8:59:29 AM
I think bars in the U.S. are still pretty big gathering spots. In Canada, it's changed, at least in the prairie provinces where I live. Back in the day, most bars were packed but its because people seem to have had more disposable income back then and it was nothing to go to the bar and have a couple beers with friends on any random evening. Eventually the amount of patrons at all bars dwindled. Now, on even a typical Saturday night, a bar that can hold 150 people might have 30 patrons. I would say 80% of bars actually closed in the past 20 years due to lack of business. People just don't go out and drink and mingle anymore above a certain age. In the really big cities, clubs are still doing good but that's among the younger crowd. Take my community of Melville with about 5000 people. Back in the day there was The King George, The Waverly, The Classic and The Prince William. So 4 bars. You'd go to one bar and it would be packed and you'd be turned away so you hit another bar instead. Eventually it dwindled. The King George and The Prince William are both gone. And The Classic and The Waverly now get most of their business from people dining there for supper or lunch or they get some VLT players.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 10
Where is the Error?
Posted: 7/24/2018 2:30:45 PM
Back in time, the best place to date a woman/man was from your work. A coworker you see 5 days weekly. You watch her/his attitude for a while. You know her/his social and martial status. You could have lunch with her/him as coworkers. You know enough to build a good image about her/him, before asking for going out. However, with the new companies and states' regulations and statutes, it becomes so hard and rough to do that. You never know if you ask, what may happen or being said about you.

There was a nice type of arranged marriage, where a member or your family suggested one for you, he/she knew for a good time. Outside of Amish, American families have been parted and scattered. So, this type is almost gone.

This matter has nothing to do with religion, color, or sex. Here is Henry Cavill won't date. A white handsome guy,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsF3Qqp3mEM

The idea that men are the dilemma and keep putting laws to destroy them, in case of any problem with the relationship, must make high profile or thoughtful men to think carefully and cautiously, before having any type of relationship, especially online. Inferior men or women's pitbulls are not going to care so much, because they have nothing to lose or their self-esteem is so low.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 11
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Posted: 7/26/2018 8:27:54 PM
Dating someone from work....There are about 280 people who work in my branch of the health region (Public Health & Home Care) and of those maybe 5 are men. 5! And 1 is my brother.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 12
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Posted: 7/27/2018 6:16:17 AM
Sounds like Lion is pining for the good old days. Dating sure isn't what it was. Thing is though, it never was what it was. Believe me. I was there.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 13
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Posted: 7/27/2018 10:43:47 AM
The internet and cell phones basically wrecked dating and socialization in general. Online chat and texting is artificial no matter how real it might sometimes seem. It used to be when people got bored then they would seek out other people for companionship. Now, you just click on your phone or computer and people are available to you without having to leave your bedroom.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 14
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Where is the Error? Look no further than people.
Posted: 8/7/2018 3:29:27 AM
Idiots exist in all forms of dating, past and present, Ghosting, catfishing, fuq'ing around, Halloweening, lying, cheating, beating, stealing, and rejection have always been there. Technology makes it a little, easier, but it hasn't done anything in the way to wreck it. People wreck it, themselves and others.

In a way, I'm glad I don't have to be forced to communicate with some online azzwipe in person to tell him no. I can escape relatively unscathed from an incoming trainwreck unharmed and block the SOB on the phone. (Well, for the most part, We leave room serious dangers, but that's for the "safe dating" thread.)
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 15
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Where is the Error? Look no further than people.
Posted: 8/8/2018 9:12:36 AM
I think many of us would give up longterm dating except where the heck would we meet someone? I just don't have any real life opportunities to meet a single guy. Where do all the single guys hang out actually looking for women other than bars?
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 16
Where is the Error? Look no further than people.
Posted: 8/8/2018 10:18:05 AM
^^^The same thing applies to guys too. If we could only get the women who don't know where to meet guys, and the guys who don't know where to meet women together in one place, that would be ideal. Outside of OLD, I think most people meet each other through friends, family, acquaintances, and work-which could be a gamble to date a co-worker.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 17
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Posted: 8/8/2018 11:53:44 AM

I think what some people want to say is the problem lies with the individuals,


It does.


Online dating seemed very different few years ago.


It was.
More participation overall by women.( "icebreakers", favorites, instant chats)
 acrosstheplains
Joined: 8/1/2017
Msg: 18
Where is Errol Flynn?
Posted: 8/13/2018 3:48:43 PM
Even POF was miles different 10 years ago. I think both men and women were more serious about dating, now it's less than 10% actually have serious intent, it's just another disposable outlet like facebook and instagram, you can quickly set a profile up and look around for a minute, get bored and go.
I have't changed my modus operandi much but the responses that leads to a date have gone down by 70%. All this catfishing business and trolling and heaven knows what else has made POF et al less trusted and respected. It's a throw away society.
People have become more cynical and more wary of scammers. I have a work colleague that has never used online dating and never will. He approaches people, chats and 1 in 10 times he gets a date. All about attitude. Come across as needy or entitled, and you'll get flipped. Be natural, honest and pleasant, it's a win win. At worst you have a pleasant conversation....
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 19
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Posted: 8/15/2018 8:07:19 AM
I think there are still a lot of genuine people looking for love online. I know enough people who have found someone and I wouldn't say I've had the worst luck in the 8 months I've been online on and off. I think there are just as much people who are actually looking for love as there are that are looking for just sex. Even some of the guys who say they are just looking for sex are also looking for love but don't come right out and say it because they don't want to get a women's hopes up. A major problem today for many is that there aren't a lot of places to meet single people who you know are single in real life. Almost everyone ends up going online to find someone.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 20
Where is Errol Flynn?
Posted: 8/15/2018 10:46:26 AM
One of the main sources for meeting other singles way back when used to be church socials-but not so much anymore. It probably still is a good source of meeting singles in the Bible Belt areas and among ethnic groups, where church is still the pillar of their community and their source of social life. But any church I've been in lately has mainly very old people, and the churches close down when the old members kick the bucket.

One of the problems with OLD is we live in a digital age, where everybody expects instant results-if it takes a tenth of a second to find something on line, that's too slow. We want results in a billionth of a second. People expect to find a perfect match immediately on line within that time frame when using OLD. Getting to know someone first and meeting in person is too old fashion. It takes away time from doing the really important stuff in life, like checking your smart phone every two seconds, in case you get a text message within that time frame. That has priority over any human interaction.

If somebody wants to spend time exchanging a zillion messages before meeting in person, that's not for me. Put the cell phone down and let's meet up in real life at a real place at a real time.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 21
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Where is Errol Flynn?
Posted: 8/15/2018 1:54:58 PM
meeting in person for 5 minutes is so much better than scrolling threw profiles, sending messages and IF you actually get a response, exchanging texts. I will often ask to meet for coffee and to come casual. it scares most off but I don't care. I want to meet the 'real' person and long before we 'fall in love' via text.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 22
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Posted: 8/17/2018 3:45:04 PM
I want to meet in real life but honestly, I'm really scared to do it. For a couple reasons. Either

a) I'm just so scared and worried they'll be disappointed by what they see. I haven't really had any instances of rejection though.

b) I have felt unsafe meeting a stranger.

c) I get so damn shy when I first meet, a couple guys thought I hated them because of it.

d) I'm worried I won't like them at all but I'll feel like I need to pretend for two hours and then I have to hurt their feelings later via text.

Generally, it's the attraction thing I worry about most. Them not liking me or me not liking them. Would be so much simpler in real life because you'd know upfront if you like someone's looks/vibe in real life.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 23
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Where is the Error? Look no further than people.
Posted: 8/25/2018 10:56:17 AM

oldwxman
Sounds like Lion is pining for the good old days. Dating sure isn't what it was. Thing is though, it never was what it was. Believe me. I was there.

Lol

Reminds me of the old joke, “If you remember the ‘60s, then you weren’t there.”



If we could only get the women who don't know where to meet guys, and the guys who don't know where to meet women together in one place, that would be ideal. Outside of OLD, I think most people meet each other through friends, family, acquaintances, and work-which could be a gamble to date a co-worker.

Uhhh…. Did you ever hear of Meetup?

But I will agree that it’s generally a very poor idea to date co-workers. Not that I haven’t done it. Not that pretty much everyone hasn’t done it. But still a bad idea.

 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 24
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Where is the Error? Look no further than people.
Posted: 8/25/2018 11:02:54 AM
Meetup only works if there's enough people on there in your area. Where I am, meetup does not exist.
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