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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I hand      Home login  
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 marymary20172017
Joined: 10/25/2017
Msg: 1
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??Page 1 of 1    
Hi guys so I found out my ex has been running his mouth to my former friend who is now running his mouth to my high school mates saying that I had body odour, HPV (which is not true) I got tested and I was negative , I didn’t wash my hair , I had to beg my ex for sex and that my ex kicked me out which is true because I was living with him .. these rumours are very damaging to me and I’m really struggling on how to get on with my life .. I feel like they will follow me forever... how can I deal with this ??? I don’t know how to cope with them
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 2
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 7/24/2018 5:57:26 PM
Are they 12? Be yourself, you have no reason to bother to react to stupid behavior. Cut them out of your life, pay no attention to them or anyone telling you what they are doing. Anyone who knows you will know that they are lying, move on.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 3
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 7/24/2018 7:46:31 PM
^^^^^

I'm going to agree with Dayna here, and add:

The less you deny these rumors, the less credible your ex will sound, and the more credible. Say nothing to anyone re: these stories unless you are asked about them.

Any accounts of these tales you are approached with should be met with surprised laughter on your part.

Just laugh them off -- NEVER go on the defensive. And never say anything negative about him to anyone.

Practice at home if you have to. This technique will make HIM look like the fool here -- not YOU.

This room, shall pass, as soon as the next ugly rumor is spread about someone else in your circle.

In the meantime, the folks who continue to spread this junk about you are NOT your friends, so no worries.
 ItCouldBeNice2
Joined: 4/5/2018
Msg: 4
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 7/26/2018 5:25:46 PM
Hmm... some people are just negative that way. Knocking someone down makes them feel better.

I wouldn't make THAT person the center of your life or let them have control over your life. Do your own stuff and go on with your life, focus on your work, or your good friends as though you hadn't received the feedback from this third party friend of yours. Friends often vent with other friends. This stuff happens probably more than you realize. It should be no big deal... especially since more than half of the story isn't true.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 5
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 7/27/2018 4:13:17 PM
I agree w/ the other Ladies, Just laugh, shrug your shoulders, say Bless his Heart and then carry on w/ what ever you have planed.
FYI,,, Bless your heart is taken several ways. so if ya say it regarding him it comes across as eh/meh. And the person then thinks,, hmm, maybe my pall is bs-ing me.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 6
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 7/28/2018 4:22:53 AM

these rumours are very damaging to me and I’m really struggling on how to get on with my life

They don't sound that bad to be honest, best just cut anyone that has anything to do with them out of your life so you can't be affected by rumors.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 7
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 7/29/2018 10:18:18 AM
Living well is the best revenge. Don't let this clown ruffle your feathers. They are "damaging to you" because you are letting them be. I'm old, but I don't care what people might say about me or have. It is none of my business what other people think of me, it is my business what I think about me.

Shake it off. When I was young some guy spread a rumor that I slept with him so I publicly confronted him and lambasted him. It was worthless and a waste of my energy. "When you argue with a fool you become one." ( Proverbs 26:4 ) I learned my lesson.

People lie and create rumors to bond with friends that engage in gossip. Gossip is dangerous to the soul. Do you want to be amongst gossip mongers? These people are not your friends and if you gossip, ask a higher power to help you stop. It is a shortcoming and it does no good.

It takes two people to hurt you with gossip. The one who speaks it and the person who brings it back to you. Tell these people
" I DON"T WANT TO HEAR IT" plaiin and simple. Do not socialize with them. Find others who are not so childish and immature.

People speak without asking themselves questions is it True, Helpufl, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind. (see the acronyn?) People who gossip don't think much about what they are saying. In my experience a person who gossips is deflecting from speaking about their own follies, mistakes, disappointment in their own lives.

My Dad used to say "Nothing is forever". As you see in the media trending stories change day to day. Every bad thing they say about you will be forgotten when they find a new "dead chicken to pick apart"... You will be old news. It will not "follow you forever" in fact I would bet that by next month no one will even remember.

Cope? Just keep your nose clean, set some goals to help you move on, dissasociate with these low lifes. Do not take it personal these types will gossip about anyone, they perhaps gossip about eachother. They are backstabbers. Leave them, Let go, Let God and LIVE WELL..

as I said from the start... Living well is your best revenge.
 DL12three
Joined: 8/1/2018
Msg: 8
My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/9/2018 3:50:58 AM
I know a guy





joking...maybe lol
 LoveOnAShip
Joined: 7/24/2018
Msg: 9
My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/9/2018 4:26:40 AM
Get a nice, thick, dense metal pipe

hand to above guy who said


I know a guy


Then do the Nancy Kerriggan thing ;0P
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 10
My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/9/2018 9:47:29 AM
Why would you care what he says to kids you went to high school with?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 11
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/9/2018 9:31:15 PM
Ignore it all. Dont react. Your true friends will know the truth. People soon move on to something else and it will soon be forgotten. I dont know how old you are but I would not let these lies and rumours impact your life.
 marymary20172017
Joined: 10/25/2017
Msg: 12
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/11/2018 12:09:47 AM
hi guys thank you for all your advice and support but this has now gone too far.. they got hold of my contact list and they are saying hurtful nasty things and people seem to be believing them.. most people are now just avoiding me.... i'm beyond angry as some contacts were business associates and now they are acting funny towards me.. i'm angry maaaaaaaannn .. this is like reputation theft.. what should I do??
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 13
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/11/2018 5:47:56 AM
You are supposedly a 23 year old adult female in the UK. Unfortunately, you do not sound like it.

Are you completely unaware of the extremely strong privacy laws that were recently implemented in the EU? Their pending arrival has been trumpeted for at least 2 years around Britain.

What you SHOULD do is go to the local police station with whatever "proof" you have and begin criminal proceedings for invasion of your privacy by using your email contact list (I assume that is what you mean) to contact your friends and associates. Do it NOW, since 29 March 2019, is when Britain officially leaves the EU.

From now on, you should post these issues in the UK Forum, where you may get more applicable "help."
Also, you should seek mental health counseling, as your posting history (my BF blocked me on social media, is my BF gay? Etc.) reveals that you seem to have the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old, and you make very poor choices in friends and boyfriends. Also, if you really are developmentally challenged, please talk to your parents or a trusted adult in your circle of family and/or friends about these troubling developments, because we can't help you. You may need some supervision in your life.
Good luck!

P.S. Change your passwords on EVERYTHING and NEVER give them to your friends, ex-BF or BF.
 marymary20172017
Joined: 10/25/2017
Msg: 14
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/11/2018 6:00:48 AM
thanks for the advice.. and my ex was gay ... i come here to ask for advice.. and what's wrong with that?? i'm a very normal person thank you and i went through something so traumatic but regardless i'm still a normal human being..
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 15
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/11/2018 6:57:09 AM

i'm a very normal person thank you and i went through something so traumatic but regardless i'm still a normal human being..

Many normal people endure traumatic events during their lifetimes. However, it MAY be that the "something so traumatic" you suffered still plagues you on an emotional and/or developmental level.

Some of the situations you describe are not "typical" for someone in your age range. In addition, it appears you may be somewhat deficient in the tools that are necessary for taking good care of yourself.

I hope you are now living in an emotionally and physically safe environment, with people you trust in your circle of family and friends. Even if you received previous counseling, please consider a "refresher" and find a counselor or a support group in which you feel comfortable. People who have suffered emotional/physical abuse often become re-victimized because they do not have the tools to take care of themselves properly, and do not trust their own feelings and perceptions. They are easily exploited. The people who are tormenting you are NOT your friends.

I sincerely wish you the best.

P.S. It is quite appropriate to turn to the police in the event your accounts were hacked.
 LoveHonorFriendshio
Joined: 7/15/2018
Msg: 16
My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 8/24/2018 8:18:55 AM
I dated someone this summer that was totally 100% perfect from the beginning.

Then once this emotional vampire had me, he changed.

Out of the blue, he flipped a switch and turned into a moody, brooding backstabbing s**t starting a** hole.

When we broke up, he badmouthed me to my own family and tried to get me fired from my job.

I would like to call myself street smart, but some people can be completely unpredictable.
 missvixen22
Joined: 7/28/2018
Msg: 17
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 9/2/2018 6:26:03 AM
Get a restraining order and fast!
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 18
My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 9/3/2018 4:26:54 PM
Pennyante (see message 7) has some GREAT advice.......but what I WILL add.........

is those that truly matter in your life.....KNOW the truth. Your actions speak louder than words. Meaning, what you do versus what you say speaks volumes. Get into positive action.

Not only that......you can use the opportunity to find new interests, and friends and leave him in the dust.

HE is just pissed off because the relationship, for what ever reason ended. HE is the one who needs help. In time, he will find someone or something else to occupy his time and headspace.

Don't let him continue to live rent free in your head. Do NOT hang out with him or anyone who is associated with him.

Rebuild YOUR life and live it the way YOU choose. Do yourself a huge favor.....Go back to school, get your degree, and get your career off the ground and forget about relationships for a while. You are 23 years old and need to take the time to grow as a person.

calliopedreams (see message 13) had another GREAT post. Keep all the messages and texts and yes, by all means, go to law enforcement if you need to. She has some fantastic advice. Make sure you follow it.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 19
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My ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumours about me .. how can I handle this??
Posted: 9/3/2018 4:54:01 PM
Definitely go the police, dunno what they're like in your area but they did prosecute someone who was online harassing my neighbour here.
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