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 nelles34748
Joined: 3/13/2018
Msg: 1
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First, a little background. Im a 68 yo widow trying her hand a dating sites.

Today, I had “conversations” with two different men. One started the conversation, the other I wrote to first because of a mutual meet. Each conversations was light in nature, one about cruising, the other about our mutual work experinces. Anyway, both conversations just stopped, and i dont know why.

This isnt the first time, either. One guy suggested lunch, i said great, im available on a certain day, then nothing!

Is it me, my profile, what? Are things different because of my age group?
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 2
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Posted: 7/26/2018 6:20:02 PM
My first guess is that it is the last line in your profile. Both of them could have been Breitbart reading, Fox News watching, gun partisans waiting eagerly for the rapture and the border wall. I doubt that I have to tell you that Florida is loaded with those guys.

If it is anything else then it sure isn't obvious to me.
 nelles34748
Joined: 3/13/2018
Msg: 3
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Posted: 7/26/2018 6:34:32 PM
The funny thing is is that last line was what prompted one guy to write to tell me how sane and rational I sound!
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 4
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Posted: 7/27/2018 9:39:54 AM
The men were likely corresponding with more than one woman at a time, and met someone else they thought was a better match for them. Try not to take it personally. You may hear from the men again if things don't work out with their other prospects.

If that should occur, it will be up to you to decide if you want to pick up the conversation where you left off. My personal rule was that if a man ghosted on me, and it had been more than a week since I'd last heard from him, he wouldn't get a second chance.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 5
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Posted: 7/27/2018 12:53:47 PM
This is common with OLD. Plenty of possible reasons why both men and women do this.

1. They were talking to / dating someone else that they liked a little bit better.
2. They are in a relationship or got back together with an ex.
3. They got "cold feet" about OLD or aren't ready to date yet. Such as not being completely over an ex.
4. They decided to take a break from dating because of other things happening in their life.
5. They were dishonest about their physical appearance or other things on their profile.
6. They were abducted by aliens.
 nelles34748
Joined: 3/13/2018
Msg: 6
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Posted: 7/27/2018 2:03:48 PM
Thank! What you say makes sense. The hard part is to not take it personally, but while I've never ghosted anyone, i have ignored some a lot of messages. So the show is on the other foot...mine!
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 7
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Posted: 7/27/2018 6:16:08 PM
Goodness, no way are you 68,, surprised younger men aint hitting ya up.
The last line may turn away some matches, but ya prob wouldnt want them anyway?

happy fishing,,,
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 8
Correspondece abruptly ends
Posted: 7/28/2018 7:54:34 AM
It's not limited to your age range. Younger people talk about this happening to them as well. This is another example of why I'm not a big fan of internet dating. Yes people agreeing to dates and backing out or not following through can happen offline as well. But this seems it is more common online.
 sonshine0924
Joined: 8/14/2016
Msg: 9
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Posted: 7/30/2018 2:21:30 PM
Nelles34748, I agree with you.....you have good conversation and *poof* you dont hear anything else. Okay, guys, why are you doing this? Is it that someone else comes along that caught your eye, and you throw us to the curg? lol Be honest!
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 10
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Posted: 8/1/2018 7:59:28 AM
I don't know I find it rather enjoyable got one today I am so anxiously awaiting their response to my response to their initiated message cause well it's amusing. I told them all the nice places they were currently dating on in different locations and told them I want to hear their scam right off the bat so hard to identify these people. Enlighten me on how their actions bother you again oh you fell for their little patent game did you?

Don't blame real people for guys just looking for money or to cause damage to others it's not us and never been us they are the vegabonds if a guy all of a sudden tries to get anything other than a meet it's not even a normal human being.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 11
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Posted: 8/6/2018 10:01:47 AM
Nelles...

This ‘trying my hand at dating sites,’ business sounds like you’re 'new’ to this. Thanks to the Information Superhighway, we can share ideas. Oh, sorry if I bothered you, reading your sister’s letter in the afternoon post. I hear she’ll come by motor car later this week to pay a visit. J/K, the point is, I think you are reading into OLD of TODAY with an anachronistic mindset. I’ll read plenty of posts, where women, usually over a certain age, will want to do a series of emails, which may somewhere down the road lead to a phone number. After time and a series of phone calls we might meet. Some people still choose to follow that, I don’t believe it is the common mode with general OLD. It is fast, here and now, and any impressions made in person, dwarf all those emails and phone calls instantly.

I started OLD about ten years ago, and I was somewhat where you were then. I had a handicap because of the terrible dating demographics where I lived then. So, every meet up involved a long drive for me. Sometimes and hour and a half. But, once I got into the rich local demo pool, I did frequent and heavy first dating. I learned a lot very quickly. Trust but verify, pictures don’t lie but they sure can embellish, but I also learned about myself and what to look for. I also found more engagement in conversation because before, with so many emails and phone calls, we had little to talk about then...and yet were still strangers.

So, I’m a huge fan of; an introductory email, then exchange phone numbers and set up a meet up. Nothing major, quick coffee or drink or whatever. If things are green lit, on to a dinner or whatever (on rare occasions that can happen all in the same day...and other things can continue before dawn). But, understand this, and it generally been observed, those who actually MEET, are ahead of all the ‘no meet’s in the email inbox.

As a brief sidebar to this, part of your question seems to also stem to gaining back that excitement about dating you remember from years ago. You can recapture that in OLD. I know things are different for you now, you’re not a kid and you have things in life, where you had nothing then. But, just understand it moves quickly. Getting an email at 5:48 AM on Sunday from George has nothing to do with how George feels about this on Thursday. A simple meet up with him, will give you crystal clarity.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 12
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Posted: 8/12/2018 3:18:19 AM
There are hundreds of possibilities of why they flaked. Until they date you and fall in love with you, which can take a couple of months, you don't have the hook of love to hold them, so they can flake at anytime.

Dating is a discovery process and people are constantly changing their minds.

Don't take it so seriously in the beginning. Welcome to dating, the tireless search for a mate.

So the underlying reason is lack of love level, or if you prefer, he/she's just not into you.
 SupermanATX
Joined: 7/20/2018
Msg: 13
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Posted: 8/17/2018 11:28:07 AM
Try being more aggressive or else online dating is going to be very hard for you. Send more messages.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 14
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Posted: 8/25/2018 8:54:22 AM


My first guess is that it is the last line in your profile. Both of them could have been Breitbart reading, Fox News watching, gun partisans waiting eagerly for the rapture and the border wall. I doubt that I have to tell you that Florida is loaded with those guys.

Strictly out of curiosity, what was the last line in her profile? What I’m seeing now is really innocuous, and should attract all men. And I do mean ALL MEN!



While I enjoy moving to the beat, there’s nothing like being in someone’s arms for a slow, romantic dance. “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis is one of my favorites!

I use a very, very similar line in my profiles on the more “adult” sites, not here on this vanilla site.

 newstart1949
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 15
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Posted: 9/2/2018 12:29:52 PM
I understand your frustration.
Do believe that many on here just stop communicating with no rhyme or reason..
Had one who was messaging me non-stop, then it was emails and texts for 2 weeks.
We met and had what I thought was a nice long meeting for about 2 to 3 hours. Since the meeting nothing.
Hey if something in the messaging or the meet doesn't go right, I will message or text back saying so, especially if there has been a meet up.
 4Lky
Joined: 9/12/2017
Msg: 16
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Posted: 9/2/2018 1:01:01 PM
occams razor (simplest solution tends to be the right one)

sounds like you got ghosted,
perhaps it was your profile. does it need fine tuning? have an nonobjective friend help.
i see some places where your criticizing yourself, -telling things you cant or don't do
(would you buy a care if the buyer listed the cars flaws?)
take out the negativity, try embellishing on your good points, you look full of life, be spontaneous,
show your passions, be the catch of a lifetime.

ps: not alot of people pay for POF, we all know, you don't have to list it.

please dont take it personally, happens alot here, move on and be happy you dodged a trainwreck.

the more you try, (win or lose) you learn another life lesson.

if a relationship ends that quickly, it wasn't for you.

hit or strike out, let fate pitch for you, -you just have to be there to take the swings,
 mikeparkin2
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 17
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Posted: 10/11/2018 4:45:53 PM
There can be many reasons for a man to stop talking to you.
He maybe just didn't think you had enough in common.
Maybe age was a problem as many men prefer younger women.
He maybe got a better offer elsewhere.
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 18
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Posted: 10/13/2018 4:09:57 AM
Use your own judgement....this online stuff sucks and isn't like when we used to go out and meet.....take your time and you WILL be able to weed them out meaning the game players and dumb ones that think their coy and play with lives....read profiles because most do say what they are looking for and also within a couple of emails you should be able to figure out any real reasons they are on the sight for...good luck!
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 19
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Posted: 10/13/2018 7:20:19 PM

This isnt the first time, either. One guy suggested lunch, i said great, im available on a certain day, then nothing!


In his head he got a date so he doesn't need to follow through now. It's that simple. Little boys.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 20
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Posted: 10/23/2018 12:55:32 PM
Almost everybody on these dating sites is hedging their bets.
And they all have a list of people they want, in preferential order.

You (nobody specifically) are not going to get your #1 choice partner on your list.

And your #1 partner is not going to get his/her #1 choice partner on his/her list.

We all have to compromise, find someone who is fairly compatible, and convince them that they were their #1 choice. LOL
 dynamicones
Joined: 2/7/2018
Msg: 21
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Posted: 11/16/2018 8:10:33 AM
it's ONLINE, it's text on a screen. Don't give people importance until they're real people. I met my bf a year ago on here, I live with him now for the past 6 months. Until they're real PEOPLE, treat them as text on a screen
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