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Do nice guys finish last?Page 1 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
So many woman say they are looking for a nice guy but they always go for the guys that don't treat them well. Or... they say the guy is to nice. Couple examples -

I know a woman who's single. She's friends with a mutual guy friend who's been trying to date her for over 2 years. He's a really, really nice guy. If I had a female friend who was looking for a boyfriend and for some reason I didn't want to date her, I'd definitely suggest him. She knows he likes her and they've talked about it a number of times. She'll send him "good pictures" and they hang out once in awhile. She ends up dating azzholes that treat her like sh*t then she complains about it. She'll stop seeing the guy then go out with someone else like that. Wash and repeat. He's pointed out that she could have had someone that would have treated her great but she keeps going after guys like that so she shouldn't complain.

For me, I met someone from here a few weeks ago. We have a good time and get along great. She went from saying she missed me and couldn't wait to see me again one day to being distant and texting to tell me she wants to talk to me about us the next. That was while she was away visiting family. I gave her a call tonight to see what was on her mind. She has an elderly family member who's health is declining so she might end up having to move in the next year or so. She said she likes me but it wouldn't be fair to continue then one or both of us gets hurt if she moves. She said I'm to nice for that and deserve better. Something else she mentioned during the conversation is she probably would have continued dating me if I wasn't so nice because she wouldn't care as much. That was a facepalm moment. I understand what she's saying but... I just shake my head.

So, do woman really want a nice guy who treats them well or are they more attracted to the guys don't care and won't treat them good?
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 2
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:00:00 PM
It's true, nice guys finish last in bed.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 7/29/2018
Msg: 3
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:00:48 PM
Finish last?

Who said they were in the race?
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 4
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:04:04 PM
^^^ Off-topic, I love your new main profile pic, Pig.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 7/29/2018
Msg: 5
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:10:53 PM
Well, thank you, ma'am. It loves you, too.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 6
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:17:01 PM
Guys who are too nice with no spine finish last...
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 7
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:27:21 PM
Women with low self-esteem or self-worth are drawn to men who treat them poorly, especially if that's all what was in her dating past. Success scares a lot of people, especially those who are accustomed to failure. That is why you'll see many people ignore, dismiss or sabotage any good catch who may be interested in them. Being treated well and appreciated is a foreign concept to them. They are only comfortable, not necessarily happy, if they are left hanging & insecure about where they stand with a person they're dating.

The entire "why don't women like good guys?" predicament has been argued to death. If women didn't continually give their time and attention to ***holes, maybe it wouldn't appear like nice guys finish last. Also, we have to have more to offer than just being "nice". Nice should be a given, or nice enough. A man could be nice as pie and respectful to women but if he's unattractive, obviously out of shape, awkward, boring, has no backbone, financially irresponsible/unstable or lacks confidence, then he'll be dismissed in favor of someone who is more exciting with a good mouthpiece...enter the possible ***hole guy.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 8
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:31:38 PM
The other dude is entitled, she Doesn't like him. He should give up already and stop being so desperate. Find someone else that is interested.

The situation with you was unfortunate but I'd ignore her reasoning about it because she probably would of split either way eventually if you are a nice guy or not.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 9
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:39:59 PM
I will go out w/ a guy who is":nice" if he is attractive "to me". I like nice fellas, they usually have good character.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 10
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:44:19 PM
siisaa
Also, we have to have more to offer than just being "nice". Nice should be a given

Agreed. Well said.
 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 11
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:53:14 PM
I know this sounds crazy but this is why I went back to dating younger ladies. I am in my 40s and my lady is in her 20s. We have been dating for 3 years and she is hot and she loves the whole "nice" thing, and I can also say that for other younger ladies I have dated in the past. I feel that many ladies in their 30s and 40s look for reasons to dislike guys and they self-sabotage situations. Maybe it is due to being hurt in the past or a generational thing. I don't know and I don't care to be honest.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 12
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 10:08:34 PM
I have no stats but it has been my observation over the years that women that are attracted to "bad boys" have unfinished emotional baggage from a father or a male role model in their lives.
They do not trust because they were some how betrayed by a man when they were children. The woman that accepts the abuse feels she deserves it. It is familiar to her and it is an unhealed wound in her soul.

They act out with "a-holes" because they have something to prove to themselves. It is not about the man as much as it is about the woman herself and her own self loathing and self destructive "habits".
The woman has low self esteem and believes she will gain confidence and happiness if she is accepted by the boyfriend that treats her poorly. In truth the problem is an inside job. It's deep seeded and appears irrational but it is about a primal trauma of some kind that is unresolved.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 13
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 10:56:17 PM
Short answer - nice guys finish last.
Long answer - nice guys finish last.
Even longer answer - don't date North American women.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 14
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 11:52:27 PM

Do nice guys finish last?

Nice guys finish last, good guys finish second to last, but we're all losers in the game. ;) But seriously, yes, the classic "Nice Guy" finishes last most of the time. The classic A-Hole solidly has better chances on the dating market.

I know a woman who's single. She's friends with a mutual guy friend who's been trying to date her for over 2 years. He's a really, really nice guy.

Classic example of a guy who thinks being friends with his crush is better-than-nothing. It doesn't take a classic "Mr Nice Guy" to do this for a while (more like Mr Naive Guy), but yeah, classic Mr Nice Guy will ride it out for 2 years (sigh).

She'll send him "good pictures" and they hang out once in awhile. She ends up dating azzholes that treat her like sh*t then she complains about it. She'll stop seeing the guy then go out with someone else like that. Wash and repeat.

And he sits there keeping the seat warm, hoping she'll "see the light" -- even if he also figures it probably won't happen. Sad. No sympathy for him. But there is also some head shaking and should be, with Her. She wants the male attention, and he's an outlet for it.

For me, I met someone from here a few weeks ago. .... She said she likes me but it wouldn't be fair to continue then one or both of us gets hurt if she moves. She said I'm to nice for that and deserve better. Something else she mentioned during the conversation is she probably would have continued dating me if I wasn't so nice because she wouldn't care as much.

I think your situation's different than your friend's.

Your friend: She's not that into him, very possibly not just because he's "so nice". It happens all the time with guys, where, on the attractiveness level, she could do better -- but he's one of the Nice Guys and he appreciates just being around her and gives her attention, sooooo, she takes advantage of it.

Your situation: You kicked it off fine. She probably got that refreshing "Good Guy" feeling around ya. Sweet. But after contemplating things being away... her Real feelings how she feels about guys sinks in. He's Nice. He's there for me even though I just met him. But I'm not into that, especially not now.

She lost interest. It wasn't like she was going to move in 2 months. Even if she were, if she liked you, she wouldn't be like that. She likes a chase, at the end of the day. You're not it, is my guess. So she kind of gave you a BS response.

I would have just called her out -- not angrily, but called her out on it. As, no, I don't understand what she's saying -- it's basically BS. My guess of what she is Thinking is: "I'm not into Nice Guys, sorry. If you weren't, you could bend me over and peel down my panties and pound me silly... but, you're not that kind of guy and I wish there were more like you out there. But I'm not in the mood for nice, kind guys like you, at the end of the day. I'm really into the guy who wants to bend me over and is a "catch" -- not a guy who's a fish jumping in my boat. Sorry. Good luck in your search!"

PS: It's not because she's moving in the next year or so. She has mixed feelings. She likes and appreciates the Nice Guy in spirit, but, sexually wants a guy who's doesn't exude that. Not all women are like her... but there's at least a Little bit of that in many gals out there.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 15
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/2/2018 1:20:11 AM
*So, do woman really want a nice guy who treats them well or are they more attracted to the guys don't care and won't treat them good?

Does it really matter? You should treat women badly as a matter of habit. Not because it might get you more women but because they deserve it. Who they are attracted to and who they are not is actually beside the point. Justice demands that if you find them in any way displeasing act accordingly.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 16
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/2/2018 2:33:38 AM
"so do women really want a nice guy who treats them well"

>>that's her male friend, and she doesn't even have to have sex with him, in order for him to show her respect. Then she can shag some dude who excites her with drama, on the side. Somewhere there's a scientific study that suggests when she's ready to settle down with kids, however, she realizes she's going to need that nice guy to be a daddy, and there's his chance to finish in last place. Meanwhile, there are women with Daddy issues who go after the jerk in order to validate their worth. There are immature women who want excitement. There are hot women who can get any guy, so the one not interested in them--but is good looking--intrigues them.

and of course, there are nice guys who really aren't. some are chasing the woman who is always broken hearted, thinking she's with the wrong guys b/c she's easy to get into bed, and are thinking their turn is coming up. Or they don't want a nice girl b/c she's boring, even tho she's the best match for him.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 17
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/2/2018 2:54:58 AM
It's true, especially when younger, some women will go for the excitement of a "bad boy". Usually as they mature they realize there's no future with these guys.
I've dated both and at least the bad boys are honest. I've dated a number of "nice guys" who really weren't that nice, at least not as nice as they thought they were.
No backbone doesn't mean you're nice. Being a doormat doesn't mean you're nice.
There's a lot of nice women out there but I don't recall ever hearing them refer to themselves as a "nice girl" vs. a "bad girl".
 LoveOnAShip
Joined: 7/24/2018
Msg: 18
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/2/2018 3:50:41 AM

friends with a mutual guy friend who's been trying to date her for over 2 years


There's no mortgage on your friend's life- he OWN's IT.

"Nice Guys" if they keep sniffing around chicks who are not into them, deserve the crap they get handed.

A smart guy doesn't waste his time on a user chick.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 19
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The notion of "nice guys" is cheap, paperback fiction.
Posted: 8/2/2018 4:41:31 AM
Nice guys are typically manipulative and think the world of choices revolve around their lives with nary the consideration of what the other person might want. Deluded, selfish, and thoughtless. Nice? Bwahahahahaha/
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 20
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/2/2018 5:23:36 AM
A "Nice guy" moan, seriously? That is exactly what is WRONG with "Nice guys." It's everyone else, not them, isn't it? They have no control over their circumstances, do they? They are just helpless, rudderless ships in the wind, who can't be held accountable for their circumstances. Blecch!

First ... your two examples are different, no matter how you would like to tie the rejection together. How do you know the gal who rejected YOU is going to go looking for someone who treats her poorly (your premise)?

Second ... from Terms of Use:

Examples of Highly Repetitive Subjects that will be removed are:

"Why Aren't there Chat Rooms"

"Men/Women who lie / cheat"

"Why do nice guy's finish last"


 Tom├ísIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 21
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The notion of nice guys is cheap, paperback fiction.
Posted: 8/2/2018 5:40:54 AM
^Relative to observe is a thank you really a reward? That's all I expect unless I paid for something their paying me on the spot for it or their not getting it. That is also relative to the person cause the ones who say I catch or pay you later rarely do no sense on taking the chance with them they already proved unreliability. A person tried it both times and I did that magically they found the money if they needed it badly enough, now their a lying too that's a new one even for her. Yes they are guys and gals alike and they only care about their own needs and wants in life yours will never matter. It's the first thing I notice on dates, meets and conversations all they care for is themselves see you later not worth my time.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 22
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The notion of nice guys is cheap, paperback fiction.
Posted: 8/2/2018 5:48:59 AM

Nice guys are typically manipulative and think the world of choices revolve around their lives with nary the consideration of what the other person might want. Deluded, selfish, and thoughtless. Nice? Bwahahahahaha/

Exactly, it comes from entitlement issues.
It's not the girls fault the guy feels entitled, to her is he just some desperate dude she isn't interested in.
She is in no way 'using' him.
She sees him just as any other friend likely, while he feels entitled to being with her and has the audacity to question her behavior and dating choices. So out of line.
 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 23
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The notion of nice guys is cheap, paperback fiction.
Posted: 8/2/2018 8:37:03 AM
Many of the women on here are proving my point. With all of the "nice guys" are usually manipulative statements, sounds to me like just bad experiences and sour grapes. If "nice guys" are jerks and "bad boys" are jerks, then what kind of guy is left? Is it possible that women who have had bad experiences start looking for a guy that does not exist? Like "the perfect guy"...which does not exist. And, is the "nice guy" always manipulative?, or is the "nice" thing not assertive and dominant enough? Maybe "nice" is sometimes mistaken as weak. Terms like selfish, entitled, and manipulative seems like "bad boys" and PUA stuff to me. Don't give "nice guys" a bad name just because some of you can't tell the difference.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 24
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The notion of nice guys is cheap, paperback fiction.
Posted: 8/2/2018 9:54:20 AM
Nice guys who are hot get women. And what's hot for one woman isn't hot for another.

Kindness, niceness, etc. are qualities that are attractive in a man. But generally when a nice guy likes me, there's been physical things that cancel them out. Of the last 5 nice guys I met here were the dealbreakers:

1 - height (the guy was the same height as me and when I met him I instantly knew I couldn't date him)
2 - clinginess (the guy texted me constantly)
3 - too skinny (sigh, I like guys to have a little braun to them at least or weight because as a girl who is tall and a little overweight I don't want to feel enormous beside)
4 - bad teeth (the guy was missing a few front teeth from a hockey injury, I just couldn't get passed it)
5 - clinginess and over-romantic (the guy texted constantly or wanted to video message and he kept talking way over the top romantically that it kind of freaked me out)
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 25
The notion of nice guys is cheap, paperback fiction.
Posted: 8/2/2018 9:58:19 AM
Being nice shouldnt be seen as something extra. People should be nice to each other. Women want a 'nice' guy that they are interested in and are attracted to, share the same values, hobbies, etc. Being nice alone isnt really enough.
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