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 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 1
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
How has dating life been working for you in the last half decade? How many people have you gone on a second date with and had it be a good second date?

What even constitutes a date? Going out somewhere? Or are home hookups included?
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 2
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/5/2018 5:20:21 PM
I dont see a hook up as a date, at home or not. In last five years, just one Relationship and it lasted a year (2015) We did get engaged, i called it all off when he saw no prob w/ his ex trying to meddle in our relationship, i think he liked the attention.
I have had 3 meets in last two years. They didnt evolve into a date. Guess its a good thing i enjoy my own company. Lol
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 3
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/6/2018 11:01:30 AM
I haven't had any dates in the last 5 years since my last relationship ended in 2013. I've enjoyed my extended break so much that I'm in no hurry to resume.

Now if Diana Ross fell into my lap...
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 4
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/6/2018 11:46:17 AM
Two second dates but only one I'd consider as good. That was this year. The first dude dude A was weird, all over me on the first date then he took me to dinner on the second date and he didn't even touch me. Pretty disapointing. Then he acted flakey and said he didn't want to date me because I was anxious (probably not his type, he seemed to want confident dominant women) and I went on a cruise overseas to vanuatu and kept talking to guy B I liked then the guy A wanted to date me again but I turned him down because I felt he hurt me and he seemed unstable and manipulative. I didn't want to jeopordize what I had with guy B so I wouldn't even meet guy A.
Met guy B in April and he got us pizza and we ate it by the lake then on date 2 he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. We had so many dates in a short period of time it's hard to keep up with. He's very dedicated. We have been together 4 months I'm so glad I met him.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 5
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/6/2018 3:55:36 PM
A second date?

That would require finding a first date. I had a date with my best motorcycle yesterday. Does that count? She didn't complain at all.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 6
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/6/2018 8:05:55 PM
Maybe a handful. Getting a second date can sometimes be tough. In particular from OLD.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 7
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/6/2018 8:36:46 PM
From 2013 - 2017, I was in a relationship, then engaged. We called off the engagement last June and I began dating in July. Since then, I've been on 3 second dates but nothing ever materialized. Most of the dates I'd been on since my engagement ended were one and dones.

Out of the three men I went on second dates with, only one (guy #1) I really liked but he turned out to be shady and a liar. We went on a total of 6 dates. Guy #2 was closeted gay (we went on 3 dates, fooled around, he now has a boyfriend) and guy #3 I wasn't feeling. We went on 3 dates but I stopped seeing him after that. I was still hung up Guy #1 so that killed any chance of progressing with Guy #3. I met #1 on Bumble, #3 on Tinder and #2 at a house party years ago.

Out of the three, the only second date that was "good" was Guy #1, probably because I liked him the most. We went hiking at a beach trail near my place and then sat on a big log and just talked.
Guy #2: Our second date wasn't bad, but not that memorable except we went to a beach at night and made out in his car. He was giggling like a little girl as we were kissing so that should've been a sign that that was not going to work out.
Guy #3: Our second date was at a bar where we chatted and then watched people sing karaoke.

Hook-ups don't count. The first guy I met after my engagement ended and I did everything but intercourse on our first date. The next day, he came over, we had sex and then went out to eat afterwards. I don't count that as a date though.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 8
How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/7/2018 8:20:45 AM

I had a date with my best motorcycle yesterday. Does that count? She didn't complain at all.


If she let you sit on her and straddle her, I can see why it would be considered a good date.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 9
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/7/2018 9:34:00 AM
I know I've had 10 second dates in the past 4 years and 9 of them were good.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 10
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/7/2018 1:10:31 PM
Only had one second date in the past 2 years and she wanted to start a family so I took a pass.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 11
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/8/2018 9:08:48 AM
Since my LTR ended, I was only on a total of 1 date. I don't count meetups or going to someone's place to hook up or fool around.

The date I went on was a first in-person meeting though we'd talked on the phone and via video chat quite a bit. He was way more into me than I was of him but he had so many good qualities but he kept calling me babe and honey and it just grated on my nerves plus the attraction factor wasn't there when we met. We went out for supper and for a drive up to the beach after. He was such a nice guy and was trying so hard and I really wanted to like him. And he bought supper and it was a nice restaurant and I felt bad just leaving him with nothing. He'd been hurt many times before and I didn't just want to give him a quick text later to tell him I didn't want to see him again. So I had sex with him, thought maybe I could cushion the blow a bit plus I really wanted to try casual sex, something I'd never done before. It was awful sex, his truck was really hard to get a comfortable position in plus his manpart was less than stellar.

My goal is, after I end my current dating hiatus (I'm taking a 3-month break to deal with stuff in my life) my goal is to try for a relationship, not necessarily a serious one, but I want to experience a second date. Which means I have to learn how not to have sex with someone on a first date if I like them.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 12
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/9/2018 6:24:57 AM
I've had tons of second dates, probably 30+. But ask me how many 3rd dates I've had........the number goes down to less than half of that. I had one relationship but the poor thing got cancer, so I'm single again.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 7/23/2017
Msg: 13
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/11/2018 2:03:39 PM

What even constitutes a date? Going out somewhere? Or are home hookups included?

To me, a date is any time I'm meeting a man who has the potential to become a romantic partner at an arranged time and place. In this case a home hookup could be a date but I don't do home hookups. I'm one of those weirdos who consider a first meet a date.

How many people have you gone on a second date with and had it be a good second date?

I lose track but I think I've had one or two second dates in the last 5 years. Zero were good; just confirmed there shouldn't have been a second.
How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/11/2018 2:18:14 PM
5 years? I can't even tell you how many I've had in the last 2 years. There are a few that stand out. Probably because we dated for awhile. I had two woman who I dated off and on for over a year. We had a good time together but no love connection (at least on my side). I think it's easy to make it to a second date, maybe harder to get to a third. Things are starting to look good for a relationship if it gets to 4-7 dates. At least that's how it usually works for me. 3-4 dates is usually when the other person and I consider ourselves a couple unless it's just going to be dating with no commitment.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 15
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/11/2018 2:40:22 PM

To me, a date is any time I'm meeting a man who has the potential to become a romantic partner at an arranged time and place. In this case a home hookup could be a date but I don't do home hookups. I'm one of those weirdos who consider a first meet a date.


Same here. In my viewpoint, it's about intent. The first meeting with someone from OLD can be considered as a date because the purpose is determining whether there is any potential romantic interest. It's just often a casual date.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 16
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/12/2018 1:23:47 AM

Only had one second date in the past 2 years and she wanted to start a family so I took a pass.

Yeah, at 38 it's definitely too soon for you.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 17
How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/12/2018 7:21:39 AM
What do you mean by "good second date"? Does that mean there will be a date #3, 4 and so on to infinity if #2 is good?

I've experienced either one date and gone or multiple dates, because most people rely on instant chemistry within a nanosecond at the first meet/date to determine if there will be more dates or not. If the stars and Martians align properly, along with instant chemistry, it usually leads to 2 plus dates, unless someone does or says something crazy to kill any chance of a second or third date. Any hidden red flags or deal breakers start to pop up the more you date someone. Those deal breakers can show up on the second date or the 50th date-so it's hit and miss.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 18
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/13/2018 8:43:36 AM
I think a good second date is just a sign that there's a chance of finding someone you sync with. When you go on too many first dates/meetups without finding someone you want to see again, you really start to get discouraged and you believe that:

a) nobody you like will ever be interested in you (everyone you like is above your league)
b) you only attract people who you are not attracted to
c) there's something wrong with you

When you go on a date with someone you actually like and are attracted to, and they want to go on a second date too, that mutuality gives you a lot of hope that maybe its possible you can find someone.

I only ever had one good second date in my life. Just one. I remember we went bowling and then for a walk under the night sky. Lots of first dates with other guys and all of those I was the one to nix a second meeting. There were a lot of guys I liked over the years though and I used to look at who they dated and I could see that I was nothing like those girls. I guess I could have tried to change myself into a different person but I wanted to be myself. I look at pictures of myself in my early 20s and I believe I was good-looking. I always found myself the object of attention from the guys I didn't like. Often the friend of the guy I actually liked. You spend a lot of time wondering what you are doing wrong, what signals you are giving off. My best friend said my major problem is that I wouldn't flirt. With guys I liked, I acted calm and casual, which gave them the idea I wasn't interested. I remember one time she invited guys back to my dorm room in university and she tried to get me to massage a guy's shoulders and I wouldn't. I kind of regret it now. She was a great flirt. I was terrified to flirt. I was so nervous around guys I liked and it would take a bit to get me out of my shell. I could be myself around guys I didn't like though which maybe is why I find myself the object of attention from them. So I am really trying to work on being able to let my guard, down, be myself, around guys I do actually like. Obviously the person I am when I'm myself is attractive to many guys so I need to stay that person around a guy I like. I guess I'm really very much afraid of outright rejection and I need to get over that asap.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 19
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/14/2018 7:03:35 AM
I had a great second date after a g reat first date. First date we met at a thai restaurant. Had dinner. Then decided to go bowling, then after that we kissed in the car, then decided to go to a pub, sat on a couch in the back and talked and made out. We spent 8 hours on the first date.

Second date i took her to niagara wineries and we spent the day tasting wine and having fun. We spent the weekend together. the next weekend was my birthday and she took me to dinne, and we spent 4 days together that weekend. We've seen each other every weekend since then except one weekend when i went on a boys getaway.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 20
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/19/2018 8:37:55 AM
A dozen. My definition of "date" doesn't require going out somewhere, though we at least walked somewhere on each of those second dates.

Good is subjective. About half of those second dates did not lead to a third, but were pleasant enough not to say they were bad.
 GingersnapWA3
Joined: 11/20/2017
Msg: 21
How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/19/2018 7:42:08 PM
People actually go out on second dates? Really? What's that like?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 22
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/20/2018 4:06:34 PM

People actually go out on second dates? Really? What's that like?


I know, right?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 23
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/21/2018 8:22:31 PM

How has dating life been working for you in the last half decade?

Just fine!

How many people have you gone on a second date with and had it be a good second date?

A decent % in both directions. A good 2nd date meaning a 3rd one would be lined up (and not out of apathy).

What even constitutes a date?

Sex.

Going out somewhere? Or are home hookups included?

Kidding about the above. A date is merely arranging spending time together 1-on-1 (or within a group, with a 1-on-1 focus for couples-dates), with more than platonic intentions. That's it. It can be at your place, it can be at Tim Hortons, at a fancy restaurant, etc. It's pretty simple.

I will say though that "dating life" doesn't Purely consist of arranged Dates. It includes any beyond-platonic interludes with the opposite sex... which aren't all arranged, but, also include on-the-fly interactions in social arenas that can make a night of things sometimes, too. Which is why my grandfather used to always say "Sex before the 1st date is better than sex on the 1st date. The waiter doesn't get upset."
 mikeparkin2
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 24
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/22/2018 4:50:18 PM
Not had many dates so not many second dates.
However, I have refused a couple which must have been insulting for them.

I tend to get cold feet due to distance or the thought of the amount of effort which goes into a relationship.

Probably been alone to long now to put up with someone else in my life.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 25
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 10/29/2018 11:49:06 AM
I met two men here in 2008 one in June and one in July. I've dated the first one for the past ten years. The second I stopped dating in Jun 2014. I don't date either of them now and I'm not sure if I can get back in the game.
I don't know if I want to deal with having "real" dates and getting dressed up perfect, and going out to plush restaurants wondering if the guy is going to pay. It just seems so tedious and I'd rather cook at home. I'm doubting if I'm ready to get back out on the field so if I make a date with someone now it's usually a meet and greet to first see if we can have decent conversations and hit it off. I haven't had a second date since last summer when that handsome **stard told me he was married. I could've picked him for #1 too. Loser.
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