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 Nocturne1980
Joined: 8/13/2018
Msg: 1
Looking for a profile reviewPage 1 of 1    
As a bit of background, I realize being in a small town and not having much in common with many people around here probably isn't helping matters, but having said that, I figured I would check in here and look for some (hopefully constructive) criticism or advice.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 2
Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/16/2018 10:54:22 PM
You're almost 40 and that was your entire profile? There must be more to you than that.

Got any full length photos? something outdoors? not an obvious selfie?

"Prefer not to say" is not an answer.

The profile doesn't get into much about what you enjoy besides gaming, or if it did, I don't remember. That's not a good sign. Is there anything you could say about your work that is positive? Do you have any interest in getting out and seeing the world? Any place you'd like to visit?

At 37, women in your age range are likely to have children. Are you OK with meeting someone who has a child(ren) at home? If yes, mention it. If not, don't.

There is a thread in green lettering at the top of this Forum page called Profile Writing Tips. There may be something in there you could use.
 Nocturne1980
Joined: 8/13/2018
Msg: 3
Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/17/2018 12:22:25 AM
Noted. I'll reword some things and expand upon my hobbies and my about me section; possibly trim some of the proverbial filler in there as well. I can't make a full body shot happen overnight, but I will do what I can to get one or two in there. Thanks for the input.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 4
Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/17/2018 2:12:03 AM
The photos are poor quality. Blurry, badly focused. The hand sign, gamer headset and stern expression don't do you any favours. All your pics are dull colours and indoors which makes you look boring. You absolutely CAN make good photos happen overnight (or better, during a day). Just go to your local park the next time it's not raining, ask the first person you see to take your photo. Ask them to roll of 4 or 5 and choose the best. It's really not hard.

Personality type gamer will not do you any favours either. Many women have been burned in the past by boyfriends who loved games more than them and as such will avoid even moderate gamers like the plague. You try to defend this in your about me, but they will be gone long before they get there. Unless you're specifically looking for someone into gaming, I would avoid all mention, it's simply not good bait and you have plenty of female-friendly hobbies to discuss.

As noted above, avoid "prefer not to say". The 5th amendment doesn't apply to dating profiles. If you refuse to answer, people will assume the worst. That is, driving ban.

The about me begins with a bitter rant. DELETE IT. You are absolutely right that it is a topic for another time.

"I would prefer someone who is into X, but it's not required" is a bad phrase no matter what X is. Someone into X will already know they have a shared interest, and someone not into X will be put off because "well you're not my type but you'll do" is not attractive. The rest of the first paragraph is just totally obvious, might as well say she should breathe air.

2nd paragraph another rant... oh dear... this is NOT chick bait. Remove.

Now you've deleted it all, you need to write a whole new about me. Think of it like an advertisement for yourself. It's not your blog page or rant spot. You need to sell yourself! Give the reader a reason to respond to YOU rather than the other 15 guys who messaged her this morning.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 5
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Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/17/2018 11:48:08 AM
Noc...

Come on...you can do better than this. Typically, as a contrarian, I’m not always in favor of flowery, hyperbole and flighty positive wording. Candor, even if a little negative, has it’s place, if sincere. But your draft here, does none of that. It’s not that’s it’s a rant...some people can pull that off, but yours is a confused rant, as if we were listening to you talking with a good male friend or trusted female friend. I really don’t even know what you want.

So...just reading the information I can see from your profile. Ahhh...just picking stuff off here. Music and singing. What kinds of songs ? Have you recorded stuff ? Blogging. What do you blog about ? How often ? PC building and repair. I’m still Windows 7, what should I know about 10 ? Should I consider Lenuix ? Why/why not ? Psychology...anything cute or interesting that’s ‘you’ here. Photography...what do you shoot ? Analog or digital ? Of what ? Where ? Maybe nothing earth shattering, but better than what you’ve got.

And speaking of photography. Your pictures are terrible, not you...your pics. No full body and nothing outdoor. You can do some selfies with a timer. I have an old, discontinued droid, the cell company won’t buy back and it has a timer. Mr. PC building...it ain’t that hard to snap selfie full body shots.

Think about these things, and compose a new profile. Good luck !
 Nocturne1980
Joined: 8/13/2018
Msg: 6
Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/17/2018 12:20:42 PM
Interesting feedback here. I'm glad most of the stuff here in consistent; if I'm going to learn something, it's important that I don't get mixed signals and it's good to know that most of the stuff here is consistent and to the point, and sticks to the same points.

I'll admit I haven't been on the site in a while, and haven't went to the profile review section before so I wasn't sure what to expect. Believe it or not, I honestly thought I was going to get ripped into worse than this! So yeah, these are things that I'll be typing into a document, saving into a folder, and if need be, maybe scrapping the profile and starting over with the feedback, photos, all of that taken into account.

Will it make any difference based on where I live? Well, I can't say, but it doesn't sound like the advice could do any harm. Again, thanks for the insight. It's always good to get a perspective from outside of myself from people who might be able to see something that I can't see in a first person perspective.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 7
Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/19/2018 8:10:11 AM

Personality type gamer will not do you any favors either. Many women have been burned in the past by boyfriends who loved games more than them and as such will avoid even moderate gamers like the plague. You try to defend this in your about me, but they will be gone long before they get there. Unless you're specifically looking for someone into gaming, I would avoid all mention, it's simply not good bait and you have plenty of female-friendly hobbies to discuss.

- I tend to agree, women don't seem to be into video games as much as men. Better to discover other mutual interests later, as you learn about each other.

That said, a friend of mine is a gamer girl and she looks like Xena Warrior Princes! So you never really know!

The other stuff mark mentions is pretty good too.

I do like the Hallmark quip though.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 8
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Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/20/2018 1:19:32 PM
Noc...

Two principal issues to deal with and consider, in your case; geography and dating sites. I’ll deal with the former first.

There’s no way to sugar coat things, and with all due respect, you’re in a dating desert. I also just noticed you don’t have a car. While there are people in San Francisco who don’t either, there are practical reasons not to here, it must kill you for dating there. It’s one thing not to have a car in SF, where a ten dollar Uber ride will expose you to a city of over 800 thousand souls. It’s another to have to get around a city with under 10 thousand w/o a car. It also is a knock on your status, as they think, ‘Why doesn’t he have a car ?' While you’ve gotten some real good advice, these are hurtles which will not be overcome with just better profile writing, pictures and interest.

Sites too, will be very limited in what they can do for you as well, but you MAY want to look into a few other options. OK Cupid and eHarmony, both very different, are examples to consider. They walk you through questions and points that will flush out more about you without just a blank essay answer. While I’ve personally had great success with it, eHarmony is limited because you can only engage matches, no open searches. You can choose to be matched up with people in a close ratio, geographically, or globally. There is something to recommend International dating, it isn’t for everybody and even if it might be for you, but I don’t think you’re ready for that now.

It sounds like you want to find someone to hang out, at the local bowling alley, shoot pool with the company of someone else. Online dating isn’t going to move that ball for you, you’d have better odds at the local bar or that bowling alley to begin with. As to the wider perspective, you probably need to do some soul searching to find out where you’re going from here. Once you get that figured out, it will flow much better, rather than forced and fighting.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 9
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History
Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/22/2018 11:03:00 AM
Profile has too much whining, remove all whining. It kind of makes you seem selfish like everything is all about you and what you want. Gives that kinda vibe.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 10
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Looking for a profile review
Posted: 8/22/2018 3:19:12 PM
I'll ditto every one above.


Believe it or not, I honestly thought I was going to get ripped into worse than this!

I rather suspect that the 'ripping' will come when you have a half-decent profile and there is something worth improving.
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