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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with      Home login  
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 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 1
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someonePage 1 of 1    
What do you find are the 'big killers' of prospects once you start having regular involvement with someone (even if it's still in the POF messaging stage but you're exchanging messages every day or two for more than a couple of weeks prior to arranging to meet up in person)?

Based on my experience it's (1) distance and (2) my shiftwork. That combination is too much for a majority of people (who do initially show significant returned interest) to take once the realities of the work/life pattern are out there in the open during ongoing positive conversation.

 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 2
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 8/27/2018 6:51:25 PM
exchanging messages for two weeks IS a prospect killer! if she cant meet for coffee or even talk on the phone, I am out.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 3
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 8/27/2018 7:48:22 PM
involvement? I don't consider msging or texting real involvement.

My biggest killer of prospects, it comes out she doesn't do oral.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 4
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 8/28/2018 1:54:18 PM
That person is catfishing you.
 SingleInChurch
Joined: 8/18/2018
Msg: 5
Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 8/28/2018 2:08:58 PM
Well, I would avoid exchanging messages with anyone I considered too far away for romantic involvement, or with whom I felt there wasn't much commonality. In other words, the obvious dealbreakers would preclude me from engaging in regular communication to begin with.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 6
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 8/28/2018 2:55:26 PM
Lies.
They lead to a loss of respect and I can't date someone I don't respect.

For me, distance and shiftwork... not that much trouble.
But I am retired and have a lot of freedom.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 7
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 8/29/2018 12:27:55 PM
Yeah, distance and night shifts can be a problem, along with 100 other things. You should set up a meet or ask for their number the second day. Smart people want to meet quickly -- only in person can chemistry be established.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 8
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/5/2018 9:00:19 PM
A lacking or crappy personality. Looks will get you in the door, though.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 9
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/7/2018 5:03:34 PM

That person is catfishing you


I don't know what that means, but the site is certainly full of Plenty of Fake Fish whether they be Wells Catfish or Leeds Ichthys.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 10
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/7/2018 7:24:12 PM
have heard it used several ways, all similar to some extent. way back when they had the phone dating lines, messaged a girl. blonde hair, white and petite. went to meet after a few messages. she came to the door, dark afro, black and rather large. my friends all said I was catfished! what I have heard the most is someone using an old pic, sisters pic or something at least remotely similar, stringing the guy along until he is hooked and eventually meeting and hoping the bond is strong enough to overlook the physical appearance. only recently have I heard the version where they string you along without ever intending to meet. I have been a victim of all of them but never went past a few weeks without meeting. most women a talk to either meet after several messages or I move on.
 MtRushmore1970
Joined: 10/3/2014
Msg: 11
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/14/2018 5:10:54 AM
One excuse after another, and she backs out on the day of the first date.
 MtRushmore1970
Joined: 10/3/2014
Msg: 12
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/14/2018 5:15:22 AM
Secondly, your shiftwork shouldn't be a hinderance. Both parties should be able to work around that. If you're both free on the weekend, work with that.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 13
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/14/2018 7:27:48 AM
shiftwork could be a hinderance if your looking down the road at long term. for dating, not too serious, it is a bonus. I can devote x amount of time to them and do what I want all week. for some, coming home from work and spending time with your partner is the best part of the relationship.
Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/14/2018 10:30:53 AM
Someone making racists comments. Guys who try to skip out on their responsibility to their kids. I actually dumped someone once after they told me proudly, how they deceived their children out of child support. Someone who wants to monopolize all my time.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 15
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/21/2018 8:29:40 PM
Racism, sexism, homophobia, and poor hygiene.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 16
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 9/23/2018 4:15:25 PM

you start having regular involvement with someone (even if it's still in the POF messaging stage but you're exchanging messages every day or two for more than a couple of weeks prior to arranging to meet up in person)?

That's not regular involvement. That's playing games, if she lives in your town. YOU can make things work to meet up with a gal, and although it would be difficult to place a classic evening date with a gal out for dinner, a casual meetup would always be doable and is a Legit mainstream option known by women, too.
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 17
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with som
Posted: 9/23/2018 5:41:57 PM
The biggest killer in the scenario you posted is messaging for longer than 2 weeks.

I have very little patience, if a guy who messsages me doesn’t aske me out within 3 days of chatting online, I’m out. It doesn’t mean that I’ll meet him after 3 days of chatting on here but he must propose a date and time to meet in person which usually happens in a week after that, depending on how busy I am. During that time, I’m happy to continue chatting and getting to know a bit more about him.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 18
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with som
Posted: 9/24/2018 7:33:28 AM

I have very little patience, if a guy who messsages me doesn’t aske me out within 3 days of chatting online, I’m out. It doesn’t mean that I’ll meet him after 3 days of chatting on here but he must propose a date and time to meet in person which usually happens in a week after that, depending on how busy I am. During that time, I’m happy to continue chatting and getting to know a bit more about him.


I get not wanting a penpal or email buddy. But in my viewpoint, 3 days is being a bit rigid. If I was talking to a woman for 3 days, chances are we only exchanged a few emails each way. Not a long conversation at all. I would often ask a woman out (or for her number) after about 4-5 emails each way. Sometimes it can take more than 3 days to reach that point. The other person or myself may not check our OLD mailbox all the time.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 19
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with som
Posted: 9/24/2018 7:51:27 AM
if I message and don't get an immediate response, sure, it may take a few days but if we are messaging back and forth, I would expect a phone number fairly quick. our first conversation on the phone would include asking to meet.
 MtRushmore1970
Joined: 10/3/2014
Msg: 20
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Big killers of prospects once you're having regular involvement with someone
Posted: 11/23/2018 10:49:42 AM
Msg #9: I don't know what that means, but the site is certainly full of Plenty of Fake Fish whether they be Wells Catfish or Leeds Ichthys.

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Catfishing is when someone is pretending to be someone they're not. It's not always Nigerian scammers who catfish online, legitimate people with self-esteem problems who are bored and have nothing better to do, also catfish online, will post a picture they scrubbed off the web and pretend to be that person. If they refuse to talk to you on the phone or engage in Skype, chances are pretty high they're catfishing.
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