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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > What is holding you back      Home login  
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 realtysucks
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 1
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What is holding you backPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
This got me very curious

I’m not new to on-line dating. However, it begs several related questions.

It’s like the former or the latter

1: people are confusing the difference between decision and a choice

2: ethics and lack of knowledge

3: economy and social media

4: insecurity

If one is not making a effort to pursue a relationship.
Why contradict yourself and joined a on-line dating site.

There are many important subjects on here.

If one would to view my profile. I have a logical reason for my profile.

Since I’m almost 40 years old, it just puzzling how many single people
are out there.
 realtysucks
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 2
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What is holding you back
Posted: 8/31/2018 9:05:19 PM
Just looking for honest replies

The real issue for me is

Economy and Social Media
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 3
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What is holding you back
Posted: 8/31/2018 9:21:25 PM
Forums. The only reason I stay.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 4
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/1/2018 3:25:13 AM
A lot of people on here are not single and are looking to cheat or escape a relationship by hopping into a new one (where they will continue the cycle).
I was pursuing a relationship personally, found that most single people are cruddy and so gave up but also stayed for the forums until they got on my tits.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 5
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/1/2018 6:02:13 AM
Not everyone with an online profile is looking for a relationship.
Some are just looking for sex.
Some are looking for fun and dating and meeting new people and have no problem being single.
Some are just not interested in YOU.
All of these are fine.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 6
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/1/2018 11:20:08 PM

people are confusing the difference between decision and a choice

What is the difference?
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 7
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/2/2018 12:12:25 AM
I think ya have WAY to much time on your hands.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 8
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/2/2018 7:40:01 AM

Forums. The only reason I stay.

Forums. The best reason I stay.
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 9
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/2/2018 10:02:41 AM
“It’s just puzzling how many single people are out there “ I do think you mean people who’re not in a relationship, not all of them are single. They could be divorced, widowed, etc.

To answer your post, I’m now here for the forums only. I do get private messages from other users who want to talk to me off the forums. I no longer look to date, having found my bf on here.

I agree with you that some users aren’t put effort into dating whilst on a dating site. Is this why they’re still single?
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 10
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/2/2018 10:09:59 PM


If one is not making a effort to pursue a relationship.
Why contradict yourself and joined a on-line dating site.


Many women do not want husbands anymore, rather than men in their lives, so they do not feel lonely or rejected. They are already fine financially; either through the money they took from the government, cash assistance, food stamps,...etc, or their ex-bfs or husbands via alimonies or child supports. Why on earth a mom with a kid or more that is fine financially needs a man in her life?

Think about it?

Focus on yourself and do not waste your money and time. Take your money and visit other countries, work on yourself, and you will see a different world. If you need kids, adopt a kid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCpBa4ITEcI
 realtysucks
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 11
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/2/2018 11:00:08 PM
It is my goal to be in a relationship, not the opposite

I chose those 4 topics that can affect the ability for one to have a relationship if one doesn’t
think through how it will affect their current life and living conditions if one succeeds.

I always look at the bright side of things and live with it.

Anything is possible.

I chose my reason

So far, I have not read any responses on this thread that holding them back.

I’m being technical here
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 12
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 1:52:32 AM
what is holding me back?

The fact that I am me. That is what is holding me back. It is kind of hard to get in a relationship when the very core of your personality is warped and broken.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 13
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 2:17:57 AM

If one would to view my profile. I have a logical reason for my profile.


One sentence that states "On-line dating is so depressing" is not a logical reason. It's a general statement or your opinion.



The real issue for me is

Economy and Social Media


Again, a general statement. How has econony and social media held you back?


I'm being technical here


Hardly. Like pulling teeth...
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 14
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 5:47:25 AM
Well gee maybe it is a "dating site" you know it dating does not mean relationship it means dating they are not the same thing. There are many reasons to date none have anything to do with finding a relationship. Take a look at the intents, or what you are searching for complaining and telling people what you think dating sites are for doesn't make it fact.
 RareLiam1994
Joined: 8/12/2018
Msg: 15
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 6:35:25 AM
Probably my ugly face, aspergers, less than desirable height, OCD, social anxiety, not being able to drive for fear of killing myself and everyone else, depression, skinny body, no job, no future prospects, and natural selection.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 16
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 7:19:14 AM
@Onelionheart
You forgot to mention women that have a JOB that pays well enough for them to support themselves. Not all women rely on alimony or government assistance to get by.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 17
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 8:50:32 AM
^^^^^^^
Thank you!
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 18
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 9:12:08 AM

They are already fine financially; either through the money they took from the government, cash assistance, food stamps,...etc, or their ex-bfs or husbands via alimonies or child supports.

How about the frigging money they earn at their own jobs?
Nor is any woman who survives on government assistance or alimony doing 'fine' (unless the ex was a multi-millionaire and even then it usually depends on who had the better lawyer).


Why on earth a mom with a kid or more that is fine financially needs a man in her life?

I don't believe anyone NEEDS another person in their lives.
We desire another person.
And I am not eloquent enough to explain why.
 realtysucks
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 19
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 11:48:47 AM
Now the debate begins
 realtysucks
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 20
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 11:57:58 AM
I was being in general

Since the subject women was brought up. It works both ways.

As for job and profession, it was never a competition from my perspective
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 21
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 12:01:49 PM

Many women do not want husbands anymore, rather than men in their lives, so they do not feel lonely or rejected.


Nah. I think there is a shift and people are looking at is as companionship/relationship rather than ownership. It's possible for people to connect without feeling like they own each other. I think what's dangerous is the expectation that somebody in your life is going to live a life in the way you want. You can still set ground rules and boundaries for yourself, healthy enough to maintain a relationship and protect yourself, at the same time.

I think it's healthy for prospective partners to explore a friendship before developing something more. (I have a manfriend in my life and we have a strictly platonic relationship. He's a great person. I like spending my time with him and he, me. We have not maintained our long-standing friendship to keep each other single or hold on to each other of loneliness or fear of rejection. We're both fiercely independent people and we unconditionally love each other).


They are already fine financially; either through the money they took from the government, cash assistance, food stamps,...etc, or their ex-bfs or husbands via alimonies or child supports. Why on earth a mom with a kid or more that is fine financially needs a man in her life?


Good point.

It's true. Financial independence means one doesn't need to link on somebody else for money. Sometimes, even that doesn't help. Greed gets in the way. OTOH, because women DO have options outside of financial reliance to choose a man based on what she desires rather than what is needed (understanding that trust is must). A woman doesn't need her parent, a husband, or even her children to be valued as an autonomous human being with her own rights. Motherhood is often woven into how we value women as people. A women can be or not be a mother and still have value as an autonomous human being with meaning.


Think about it?
Focus on yourself and do not waste your money and time. Take your money and visit other countries, work on yourself, and you will see a different world. If you need kids, adopt a kid.


Love this.

As far as your link, I don't put anything into any representative of Faux News where is concerns valuing human relationships without imbuing fear and shame for expressing problems with relationships.
 beercookies
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 22
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 6:50:39 PM
Wth op, are you talking about? You need to explain what you are asking or forget about this thread.

“1: people are confusing the difference between decision and a choice

2: ethics and lack of knowledge

3: economy and social media “

People join sites but they don't need to choose you, op. That doesn't make them game players.

Same for guy who claims women don't want husbands. People still get married. They don't choose you because people expect a lot in this day and stakes are higher/ more demanding online, and you are highly demanding, yourself.

Or else you did not find your needle in haystack, but you go around generalizing because online doesn't work for you.

It doesn't work for many people, so why can’t you meet people locally, in life? Online doesn't make it easier to connect.

It’s a fantasy fulfillment online, where people seek out the exceptional, not regular people, unless they are desperate or willing to settle for good enough, which is not very many people.
 realtysucks
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 23
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 7:54:08 PM
My options where the 1st 3 in the first thread.

The rest was not what I wanted to hear.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 24
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 10:18:49 PM
^^^ You only put up 4. Why leave that one out? You also said...


The real issue for me is

Economy and Social Media


How has that issue affected you?

Again, like fücking pulling teeth...
 realtysucks
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 25
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/3/2018 10:57:09 PM
It just does, it’s awkward because, I can be a nice guy.

Nice guys finish last

Do not want to be Sith just get the girl.

Star Wars

This concludes my reason
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