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 newstart1949
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 1
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Conflicting Google Results.Page 1 of 1    
It is really strange the number of people that don't realize what can be found with a simple google search on someone's name.
Just the other day I did a simple search prior to meeting the guy.
Ya he was widowed---Found his wife's obituary from 3 years ago.
Thought we had a really nice meet, but strangely he was not texting like he had before. No more good morning/good night texts or anything. No calls or emails.
For some reason I decided to look further into the names.
During conversation on our meet, Face Book came up to which he said he had not been on since his wife's death.
Turns out he still quite active on FB, which he said he had not done since his wife's death. ( was no big deal to me).
But after reading his time line I actually caught him in several more lies, some kind of small, but it was like WHY. To me if one will lie about insignificant things, they can be trusted later.
In mean time he finally answered my question about the meet saying he wanted to meet again and no he thought the meeting was good.
I have been slow on answering his texts cause I just don't feel right
Should I inform him of my discovery and/or just tell him we are not a match.
 WhatNamesAreLeftThen
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 2
Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/3/2018 5:16:35 PM
Just tell him you are not a match. I never give away my tells so that, instead of that person raising their game, others can find them as well.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 3
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Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/3/2018 7:20:59 PM
Meh,, just say ya had a good date/meet, but dont feel ya are a match. If ya did keep seeing him there would ALWAYS be doubts.
edit... checked out your profile. Very inspiring
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 4
Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/4/2018 8:05:39 AM
Yes, do tell him you snooped on him. That way, he can be the one to end it with you, and you will have a clean conscience.

FYI, there are already tons of threads on doing a background check. Some people don't react favorably upon them, equating them with insecurity.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 5
Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/4/2018 8:24:13 AM
I would at least give him a chance to defend himself. there are things that I may not be 100% truthful about on a first date. big secret? no, just second or third date material. had you snooped first and asked second, I might be offended. what was the lie, more important, what was the motive behind it? there is a slight difference between one who lost their job and has been job hunting a few weeks claiming to be employed or someone who cant get or keep a job but first impression would be the same. I would not freely divulge that on a first date but would explain after a second date.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 6
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Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/4/2018 9:21:44 AM
I don't think I'd do a background check until merging finances or moving in together was a possibility.
And I'd tell him prior.
 newstart1949
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 7
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Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/4/2018 7:42:08 PM
It was not a background check it was a google of his name.
The lie was a stupid lie...We were just chatting and Face Book came up. We talked a bit about it. Within the conversation he said that he had not been on FB since his wife's death and didn't even remember his password.
Well a friend of mine who had see the obituary found the FB page..He's not too active, only about 2 or 3 posts a week but he is currently using it. What a stupid lie.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 8
Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/5/2018 10:22:55 AM

The lie was a stupid lie...We were just chatting and Face Book came up. We talked a bit about it. Within the conversation he said that he had not been on FB since his wife's death and didn't even remember his password.
Well a friend of mine who had see the obituary found the FB page..He's not too active, only about 2 or 3 posts a week but he is currently using it. What a stupid lie.


Maybe he felt it was too soon to give out his FB information to a woman he barely knew, so he just made the excuse that he didn't use his FB account in order to deter you from asking him for it? Just a thought.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 9
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Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/5/2018 1:27:10 PM
It was a lie but the kind people tell others to protect their privacy when the other person is a stranger. Did he add you to facebook? I'm guessing not.
I did a Google search using the mans email address once and found out he was married. I would say I dodged a bullet but it was more like I just loaded up my guns.
 newstart1949
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 10
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Posted: 9/5/2018 3:42:45 PM
He was the one who brought up social media.
If he had asked for mine, I'm really not sure I would have given him it.
But like I said found he had told a few other stupid dumb lies...
Hey it over...But many this will be a heads up to others.
Simple google searches do work. Like one on this thread said, they found the guy was married.
Guess what I have found a couple of married men too by doing a simple google search.
If you can't pass a simple google name search, then obviously you don't belong on here.
 newstart1949
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 11
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Posted: 9/5/2018 4:57:36 PM

FYI, there are already tons of threads on doing a background check. Some people don't react favorably upon them, equating them with insecurity.

FYI this is "Ask A Guy" forum..I was seeking input from the other side.
Yes I did look at the other ones, which you already know about.
Thank YOU for your input
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 12
Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/6/2018 9:10:08 PM
That's why my name doesn't show much when googled. I don't put my business out there for random people to judge.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 13
Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 9/7/2018 11:00:28 AM
In dating, the best thing to do is to go with your intuition/gut feelings. If you think he's lying at this early stage, you are probably right, and it's best to date others.
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 14
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Posted: 9/10/2018 3:16:42 PM
anyone can answer the questions you post, cupcake.
 newstart1949
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 15
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Posted: 9/15/2018 9:47:33 AM

anyone can answer the questions you post, cupcake.

Yes I know that anyone can answer the question. But the Forum is "ask a guy"
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 16
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Posted: 9/16/2018 1:29:23 PM
I mind being snooped on.

Last year, an old gf got in touch with me on fb. That was fine, I rather liked talking to her. I started seeing her fb posts. Most of them, I ignored. One was political, and I made a comment from the conservative point of view. In short order, I was scolded for it. So I ignored them all after that. I wasn't going to make waves. About two months later, she started giving me what for, for comments I made on posts other than hers.

I saw what she posted on others, and I didn't comment on them because I didn't want to make waves. But I'm not allowed to comment on what I want to? So I tossed a 30 day block on her, and I haven't heard from her since.

Go control somebody else. I want no part of it, or her.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 17
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Posted: 10/2/2018 6:56:27 PM
I have no fear of what the internet might show about me - only the decisions jumped to from a fragment of information, and the idea that people hold onto those bad assumptions more than any words or actions I may show in real life.

The amount of control people wish (or try to demand) about their privacy is usually in direct relation to their level of insecurity. Control freaks have a SERIOUSLY hard time dealing with the fact their identity can be dug up in seconds from nothing more than a photo, last name or a phone number. That IS the internet right now, whether you like it or not. Using a fake alias name on Plenty of Fish, but using your real name on Tinder -- using the same profile pic in here that you use in LinkedIn (that has your entire employment history) - I mean, cripes, a twelve year old can Google that stuff up faster than I can.

Having privacy is precious, but in the end, it's only as good as your trust in the public at large. Trying to control someone - anyone - from doing a little data mining - is utterly futile. You are better off learning to snoop THEM out - playing the same game - than demanding ANY measure of control over an internet stranger. Once you realize that some azzhat out there is threatening you from just a fragment of info they dug up off Facebook - then there is probably more dirt on them in the local police blotter if you spend a couple minutes digging.

Another thing to keep in mind is that someone looking you up does NOT mean they are instantly hostile and 'invading' your privacy. Someone that 'worth' Googling up means more than likely I want to see them again, and am curious to know more. If you don't know what you are posting publicly on social media sites, I'd strongly recommend browsing through from a friend's computer or even a non-friend or co-worker and realizing just how much of your stuff is NOT private. Lots of people out there have no idea.

There should be a difference between someone asking a question out of curiosity and someone asking to manipulate - and a lot of that has to do with how afraid you are to answer. Admitting faults or flaws means you are not afraid of them - and means the manipulators will need to work harder to find an angle from which to manipulate. Fear is not mitigated by controlling the other party - it's done by confidently embracing who you are, and not letting some schmuck intimidate you.

That being said, people don't share my confident view of the internet, and many see it as a hostile and scary place. Revealing YOUR snoopage should be done with a high amount of discretion, and usually is better to not mention it at all. Asking questions to probe a field of curiosity can usually be done without generating a full blown internet identity attack, and doesn't take much to confirm or deny what you have already read on your glowing screens.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 18
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Conflicting Google Results.
Posted: 10/12/2018 6:01:52 PM
"Should I inform him of my discovery and/or just tell him we are not a match."

No don't inform him. Just tell him you are not interested... in the very kindest way. You obviously don't want to meet him so what is left to say? You don't trust him already so there can't be a relationship to begin with and if you tell him you are Snoop Dogging him it will only make him upset. You snooped and you found something wrong. That's usually what happens. If your looking for something wrong, you find it.
If it doesn't "feel right" why do it?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 19
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Posted: 10/14/2018 11:40:57 AM
If you read the forum rule than you would know any of the 7200 genders can answer on these threads.







But I guess you did not read the rules where it says there are only 20 responses on this page.. cuz you keep wasting posts telling us you want men and you act like someone that really needs one. If not for nothing even just for an hour or so.
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