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 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 1
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Are they worse than people in general? This is only taking the temperature and seeing if I am alone in my thoughts. I'm not trying to be mean.

Much is said about relationships. Consensus seems to be that relationships start by demanding "respect", 'kicking'em to the curb" and then "moving on." Even people who are like that avoid people who are like that. In addition, it's pretty hard to build a rapport with someone who is enforcing their "rights." If you are fighting for your rights, then you are FIGHTING with all that it implies. Let's not even get started on who pays for what, how long to wait before answering a text or how many visual creatures there are.

I'm not ready to flatly condemn forum people just because they seem nastier than other people in the world. It may not be true at all. Hell, people consider me rather gentle and pleasant. A bit of a chauvinist but chauvinists have their fans too. Still, some of my own posts look bad even to me. Could it be that just words creates an uglier persona than overall demeanor? Could some of the more acerbic ones actually be very likeable?
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 2
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Posted: 9/9/2018 1:15:56 PM
There was a thread once about whether reading and participating in the forums helped or hindered you in here. I was of the opinion that it hindered me. Before the forums I never worried about who paid/what we wore/etc. I took each meet with an open heart. Now, lol, if I were still dating I would be running all these topics through my head.
In here we're using our heads, not our hearts when we post opinions. Easy to do from our chairs.
I'm sure in real life forum people are no better or worse than non forum people.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 3
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Posted: 9/9/2018 2:25:36 PM
Could it be ……………...a person who seeks the negative, will indeed find the negative.
Could it be ………….using one's cell phone, viewing the written word from a window ?4x5 give or take, does not, has not, seen everything? Read everything?
Could it be ………...the viewer /s see only what he or she wants to see?

A dog that will fetch a bone...…….will carry a bone.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 4
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Posted: 9/9/2018 4:23:10 PM
I think a lot is lost in messaging but in general, yes, people are not very compassionate nor understanding and quick to judge. I think it is the nature of the beast. with someone you know and in person, you can have a long discussion and get your message out with some tact, online is more direct and to the point.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 5
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Posted: 9/10/2018 4:01:52 AM
It's not the forum people that are a problem - it's the entire site, lol

I've seen teenage sites where they behave better than the peeps here.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 6
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Posted: 9/10/2018 4:16:26 AM

I've seen teenage sites where they behave better than the peeps here.


Lurking around the teenage sites are we?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 7
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Posted: 9/10/2018 5:30:15 AM
cool!

Thank you for typing what I was thinking.

/shudder/
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 8
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Posted: 9/10/2018 7:35:47 AM
guess that is one way to avoid the bitterness many of us 50+ share. not sure I would want the new issues it would bring. maybe have better luck dating once you get to prison.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 9
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Posted: 9/10/2018 9:25:26 AM
You weren't trying to be mean?
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 10
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Posted: 9/10/2018 9:38:39 AM

You weren't trying to be mean?
me or the o.p? me, just a bit of humor, tasteful or not.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 11
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Posted: 9/10/2018 12:07:39 PM
Oh, stop it guys!
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 12
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Posted: 9/10/2018 9:49:48 PM
Generally speaking I don't think most forum posters started out as negative as they may seem. It gets frustrating to try to help someone only to see them discount what was thoughtfully posted and see the Original Poster (OP) continue with destructive behavior. Add to this mix the trolls just looking for attention. Now stir in our egos and things can get out of control. BUT, when we're good, we're very good.
 Cloud_Interpreter
Joined: 8/18/2018
Msg: 13
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Posted: 9/11/2018 2:45:56 AM
I've been lurking here for years and sometimes pop in to post.

I've watched how some posters have stayed the same and some have, um, taken a turn. And some have always been vile.

And some come back pretending to be someone else but it soon becomes evident who they are. Syntax and arrogance always gives them away.

It's always fascinating to see what they have to say. And the backpedaling is quite enjoyable.

So yeah, some are bitter or turn bitter over time and others stay the course.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
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Posted: 9/11/2018 10:12:53 AM
No, that was directed at the oroginal post...in a humorous tone.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 15
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Posted: 9/11/2018 7:14:20 PM
I've been around a good many years....and am no different from when I first started posting...
which is no different than I am in real life.
Blunt, honest and to the point.

If you ask a question....I will give you my truth...
If you post BS....I will call you out on it...
When sympathy is deserved....I will give it
When sympathy is desired....but not deserved....I will give you the truth you really don't want to hear!!

There are plenty just like me....there are plenty that aren't...
it's what makes the world go around...
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 16
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Posted: 9/12/2018 9:55:33 AM
I think there are many bitter perpetually single men on here...
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 17
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Posted: 9/12/2018 10:26:29 AM

I think there are many bitter perpetually single men on here...


Really? Like who? Do tell...
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 18
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Posted: 9/12/2018 10:30:20 AM

Really? Like who? Do tell...


Don't worry, I'm not talking about you. You are always good-humoured and never bitter.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 19
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Posted: 9/12/2018 11:22:53 AM
Did you call?! I know, I'm just the devil!
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 20
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Posted: 9/12/2018 12:37:11 PM
not just the men! I think the forums is a place where some of this bitterness comes out when some may not show it in other areas (I would hope). some of the topics bring it out, so people vent. if it was 20 years ago and your still bitter, probably best you get it out online where most of us are or were bitter at one time. worse you will get is a bitter response! try that at the corner bar and it could get much worse.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 21
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Posted: 9/12/2018 1:15:31 PM
What did you think was going happen Julystorm? Face reality of it on here you get to see them as they really are, wait or is it how they dreamed of being, or maybe it's a role play fantasy aww shit I give up maybe it's just something or other to pass the time.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 22
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Posted: 9/13/2018 8:49:47 PM
I don't think forum folks are any worse than people in general. I mean, in the world outside the forums there are wars... There are people shooting one another.... There are people making a living and dying in the process....

Life is happening all around us and us forum folk for the most part just speak on various topics about our lives. And, maybe help others with their lives through timely advice gleaned from all of us forumites collective experience.... At least, if we're all nice it's like that.

And also I've seen forumites tear each other down and insult and degrade one another to the point of embarrassment. And, I think some folks like that and need to get in the last word and be perpetually right. In a creepy way I guess it's kind of entertaining. And probably inevitable on this forum where there are many different opinions.


I guess the forums are as good a place as any for all of these behaviors. But, I just think it makes forumites a group of elite and enlightened beings who have this wonderful medium to express themselves for good or bad. I'd rather smile than argue and if I can make you smile then that just makes the forum a better place for all..... IMHO
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 23
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Posted: 9/14/2018 11:55:04 AM

I've been around a good many years....and am no different from when I first started posting...
which is no different than I am in real life.
Blunt, honest and to the point.

If you ask a question....I will give you my truth...
If you post BS....I will call you out on it..


I'm the same way. I've noticed that there are a few keyboard warriors in here who like to hide behind the anonymity of their computers, while flaming and denigrating other users. They would probably come across as totally different people if you were to meet them face-to-face. Many, you wouldn't look at twice if you were to pass them on the street.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 24
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Posted: 9/15/2018 6:48:15 PM
I think that people are just mean in general, but when you find good, decent people, it's like winning the lottery. And those people are everywhere; they're just more difficult to spot.
 PrincessBlondeAngel
Joined: 9/13/2018
Msg: 25
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Posted: 9/16/2018 1:57:35 PM

I don't think forum folks are any worse than people in general. I mean, in the world outside the forums there are wars... There are people shooting one another.... There are people making a living and dying in the process....

Life is happening all around us and us forum folk for the most part just speak on various topics about our lives. And, maybe help others with their lives through timely advice gleaned from all of us forumites collective experience.... At least, if we're all nice it's like that.

And also I've seen forumites tear each other down and insult and degrade one another to the point of embarrassment. And, I think some folks like that and need to get in the last word and be perpetually right. In a creepy way I guess it's kind of entertaining. And probably inevitable on this forum where there are many different opinions.


I guess the forums are as good a place as any for all of these behaviors. But, I just think it makes forumites a group of elite and enlightened beings who have this wonderful medium to express themselves for good or bad. I'd rather smile than argue and if I can make you smile then that just makes the forum a better place for all..... IMHO


Mr. Doremi, I will be very gentle w/ you, as I find you to be one of the nice gentlemen on this Forum. There is oftentimes lots of behind the scenes shenanigans regarding forum regulars. In the past I have got snarky messages from sock puppets, plus doxxed on social media & via snail mail. A few years back a very sweet gal from Michigan told me that there was a small group of people, mainly women who were a "nuking committee" she even threw out a few names & another nice woman, a forum regular, also confirmed it.

I take full responsibilty for my comments, but anything other than that I refuse to own. I also see much hypocrisy, misery & flipping of the script, attempts at projecting, etc. going on.

Creepy? Getty emails from a male forum regular w/ salacious details about their supposed sexual encounters tops the list. #METOO

Various other salacious emails from male forum regulars in addition to snarky mail from women rounds it out. I read some of Dark N Juju posts, she nailed it!




https://forums.plentyoffish.com/usermessages.aspx?user_Id=158284942

If I am high maintenance because I expect a man to bring so much more to the table than a penis then sue me. I BRING SO MUCH MORE THAN BOOBS. So much more. And Why would I need to come online if all I was looking for was a warm body with a penis since when I walk to get my lunch men follow me down the street and give me their number? Or when I am in the grocery store MEN follow me around asking for my number. OR when I am headed to my office MEN stop me and ask for my number. HELLO, I HAVE HAD MEN ASK FOR MY NUMBER AT TRAFFIC LIGHTS. So you will forgive me IF BEING MALE AND INTERESTED is not enough. Sorry. It is hard work to across from a guy YOU have no interest in and who is dull as dishwater and EAT THE FREE FOOD. IT is not worth it. I am a divorced woman on the tail ended of her good looks and I would like to use these looks to find a HUSBAND who will be around when his wife isnt the hottest 80 year old in the retirement home. I really am sorry if you have to be more than interested and male because most men do not get you are at the end of a long line of interested males. I come here to find the guy who is special, different, unique who is a good match for me.



I can say that being attractive can and always has been a double edge sword. Rarely do men see me as a real person and women don't want you as a friend. I have been fired from jobs because of sexual harassment. But I have also been let out of tickets.
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