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 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 1
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have seen this several times. upgraded has a few perks that I miss having but not really sure why you would block someone that didn't have it. is that to insure you only get serial daters? or maybe the guy who couldn't get a date in years? it seams that the upgraded only option would rule out some decent guys. what am I missing?
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 2
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Posted: 9/11/2018 1:34:01 PM
*what am I missing?

You probably aren't missing much. I'm sure that you are aware that there are phony profiles out there for the purpose of getting some hapless dude to pay more money.

As for why an actual person would do that, I have no idea.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 3
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Posted: 9/11/2018 3:28:26 PM
Some members have upgraded profiles, this allowes them to have 16 pics, it also seems to dis allow ya to msg them if they only want other upgraded members.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 4
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Posted: 9/11/2018 3:41:50 PM

it also seems to dis allow ya to msg them if they only want other upgraded members.
that much I got, I was wondering why they would want to dis allow to begin with.
 Cloud_Interpreter
Joined: 8/18/2018
Msg: 5
only accepts messages from upgraded users
Posted: 9/11/2018 5:15:09 PM
Anyone can choose to only allow messages from upgraded users. (Done from Edit, under "Mail Settings".)

Some might think that since a user shells out for PoF experience that they might be more serious about finding someone to love, while us lowly peons matter naught.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 6
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Posted: 9/11/2018 5:20:16 PM
Upgraded user....

I’d assume it’s a filter for someone with money they can spend on useless or frivolous things.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 7
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Posted: 9/12/2018 3:44:46 AM
It's a stupid feature. The people who turn it on probably do so by mistake.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 8
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Posted: 9/12/2018 3:53:56 AM
You're missing where it's the person's choice. Move on to the next prospect.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 9
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Posted: 9/12/2018 6:17:09 AM

You're missing where it's the person's choice. Move on to the next prospect
no, I didn't miss that. I am missing WHY one would make that choice! scammers? I get that. somehow thinking upgraded means better? maybe. but in all reality, is the pervert spending 24/7 that paid to upgrade 'better' than the guy that decides to check out online dating but doesn't let it rule his world? "move on to the next prospect"? sure, but if that was why I posted the question, I could of just paid!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 10
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Posted: 9/13/2018 9:47:40 AM
I am not upgraded and would not pay to upgrade because to be frank, it doesn't matter much for women, they dominate these waters.
I have the option to only allow paid members to contact me in mail settings. This doesn't matter because I am not here for dating. If I tried
to contact a man here and that was his option to only be contacted by paying members it wouldn't phase me much. That's their option and preference. One thing that can help you here with your searches OP is to try not to have any expectations. Move on when or if you are rejected by their options or by their actions. After all... there are plenty of fish in the sea.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 11
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Posted: 9/13/2018 12:25:09 PM
^^^Great new pic there Pennyante!
;-)

How do you do that?
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 12
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Posted: 9/15/2018 5:22:48 AM

I am not upgraded and would not pay to upgrade because to be frank, it doesn't matter much for women, they dominate these waters.
I have the option to only allow paid members to contact me in mail settings. This doesn't matter because I am not here for dating. If I tried
to contact a man here and that was his option to only be contacted by paying members it wouldn't phase me much. That's their option and preference. One thing that can help you here with your searches OP is to try not to have any expectations. Move on when or if you are rejected by their options or by their actions. After all... there are plenty of fish in the sea.


You do look very nice. Please don't take my comments the wrong way, because they aren't aimed at you, specifically.

I see a face like that, and is scares me away. That face I see, tells me that woman has champagne tastes, and I have a beer pocketbook. Would I want to see that face everyday? Of course I would. Could I keep up with the demands that face wants? No, because I know better. That looks like a 24/7 job, and I'd like to keep my life that I established in tact. If I had it for my very own, I wouldn't be looking around. Because few could match it. If it isn't broke, don't fix it.

It says trap, in big capital letters. Priceless works of art come with a price tag to match. And I don't relish the idea of sitting there with a shotgun, guarding my prize.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 13
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Posted: 9/15/2018 6:06:27 AM
I just shook my head so hard that I may have whiplash.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 14
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Posted: 9/15/2018 7:55:48 AM

see a face like that, and is scares me away. That face I see, tells me that woman has champagne tastes, and I have a beer pocketbook. Would I want to see that face everyday? Of course I would. Could I keep up with the demands that face wants? No, because I know better. That looks like a 24/7 job, and I'd like to keep my life that I established in tact. If I had it for my very own, I wouldn't be looking around. Because few could match it. If it isn't broke, don't fix it.

It says trap, in big capital letters. Priceless works of art come with a price tag to match. And I don't relish the idea of sitting there with a shotgun, guarding my prize.
I view profiles in a similar way. from the expression on their face to what is in the back ground of their pic, I often get the impression that we live in different worlds. however, I did have a woman contact me that was dressed well in a nice setting $$$$$$ and after meeting her, found it was at a wedding in borrowed clothes. she was on welfare and stayed at her daughters house.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 15
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Posted: 9/15/2018 8:39:46 AM
re:msg#10<<<

I do believe MsPenny Ante is just having a little fun with photo shop. Nothing wrong with that! These boards get pretty bogged down with snark sometimes---a little levity is just what's needed~

(Smile)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 16
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Posted: 9/15/2018 2:26:30 PM
Oh, durn.

Still looks very nice.

Now you'll make me question any "faux-to" on the 'net. rats.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 17
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Posted: 9/17/2018 11:39:31 AM
Hey purple. I posted the untouched photo next to it. Facebook photo made me look like I did when I was 25 years younger.
I was never considered "high maintenance" by anyone that knew me. I raised 4 daughters on my own and never asked a man for his resources or help except for my husband before he passed away when he was 47. I lost my mother when I was ten years old and a very strict Sicilian father raised me to be fiercely independant.

Maybe the old addage or idiom applies here... Don't judge a book by it's cover??
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 18
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Posted: 9/17/2018 8:58:08 PM
upgrades are a waste of money and dont ensure a better class of poster. Why anyone would only want people that have that, I dont know..
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 19
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only accepts messages from upgraded users
Posted: 11/18/2018 8:31:03 AM
POF *encourages* people to activate "only accepts messages from upgraded users" as an alternative to hiding their profile!

If you click "Edit Profile" while logged on, you will see the following:



To hide your profile from others click here
Hiding your profile prevents you from showing up anywhere on the site or app in bars of images and search results.
Instead of hiding your profile, Allow messages (first contact) from only upgraded users: Click to Enable



I consider this really stupid. If you've met someone who seems good so you're not looking, and you don't want to lead people on, and don't want to get in the way of people who are actually looking, it makes sense to hide your profile. If you follow POF's suggestion of doing the alternative by setting the upgraded only, you will still show up as a potential match. People will view your profile and possibly try to send a message.

The worst thing about that setting is it does *not* show up among the regular settings for age, distance, etc. Therefore the people who write a message have no idea until they have already composed a first contact message and hit send. Then they get the screen saying the user only accepts messages from upgraded users (and of course there is a big button to purchase an upgraded membership so you can message that person).


If you upgrade and send a message to that person, your message will be unread or ignored because that person isn't looking! They put that setting because they stupidly followed POF's advice instead of hiding their profile. If their attempt at a relationship lasts a month, your message will expire unread.


Just tried to message someone this morning and got the "only accepts from upgraded" nonsense. Thankfully my message was short: 5 words. Didn't think much to compose the message.


Let's say hypothetically that girl was seeing someone and had that setting as an alternative to hiding. Let's say things don't work out and she removes the setting so anyone can message her. I'm not going to try to message her again. First of all, I have no way of knowing she removed the setting because it doesn't show. Second, she made a bad impression by having that setting, so even if I knew, I am unlikely to pursue her.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 20
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Posted: 11/18/2018 10:23:45 AM
When this whole thing (“only accepts messages from upgraded users”) first came up, it really p_____ me off. You can’t see it until you have read her profile, spent a few minutes composing a witty, thoughtful reply, and then Bang! You’re blocked. Your efforts were for naught. One of the reasons that I quit shopping on this site (that, combined with a much higher success rate on Tinder and Bumble).

I strongly suspect that when you run into it, it is most likely a “cheat”. A fake profile, put up by the people running the site to try to induce you to spend some money. It’s hard for me to imagine why a legitimate user would choose that option. I suppose it is possible, but it just doesn’t seem very likely.

And I agree, 100%, with Meramec, just above. Some woman choosing that as an alternative to hiding her profile makes absolutely no sense. The very idea is ridiculous.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 21
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Posted: 11/18/2018 12:11:14 PM

upgraded has a few perks that I miss having but not really sure why you would block someone that didn't have it. is that to insure you only get serial daters? or maybe the guy who couldn't get a date in years?

It's to get people of "higher value" -- those taking it more seriously that they'll pay the site. It's a way to use a free site, but only correspond with those who are on the level of a paying site. One has to admit that on a pay site (Match), the prospects pound-for-pound are better for those who do pay to use it. On a free site & paying, those are likely better ones, too. Problem is, you're throwing some babies out with that bathwater, because many aren't going to pay on POF because you don't have to and it isn't worth it, as far as functionality goes -- so there's a lot who Would pay if it was a pay site, who wisely aren't.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 22
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Posted: 11/22/2018 8:58:45 AM
I was a paid member for several years, no longer. The biggest benefit was the ability to see previous interactions, which saved me quite a bit of time. The ability to see, right there on her profile, that I had messaged her 2 years previously, kept me from wasting my time by messaging her again.

Cowboy and I used to argue about that. He claimed that he could remember every woman that he had ever messaged. The math just didn’t add up. Cowboy had been on here for many years, he admitted to a response rate of around 10% (pretty much the average around here), and he also said that he had been on several hundred first meets. All of which meant that he had sent thousands and thousands of initial messages. And he could remember EVERY single woman that he had ever messaged?

I think that would require some extraordinary talent, like a photographic memory.

I miss Cowboy, RIP, we used to have some interesting discussions.

Another benefit that I was forgetting: As a paid member, I could see the last time she logged in, which kept me from wasting time on someone who was no longer active.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 23
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Posted: 11/23/2018 6:27:35 AM
They tell you the last time a person logged in on searches.

I can't remember all the women I've sent messages to. Heck, I can barely remember who I am!
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