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 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 1
Lack of effort/common sense in profilesPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Does any one else get frustrated with the lack of effort or common sense in people's profiles? Examples...writing just ask, or conversersly, a rambling profile which really doesn't share much relevant information
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 2
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/23/2018 6:05:43 AM
Lack of effort or common sense in someone's profile, to me, is a big indication of how they 'operate' in a relationship---with lack of effort and common sense. Good thing to know~
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 3
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/23/2018 6:10:31 AM
Yeah, but my best friend is the swipe feature.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 4
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/23/2018 6:27:22 AM
I guess my frustration is getting the better of me. Why be on a dating site if you aren't going to make an effort or use a bit of common sense.Most of the messages I get are generic, saying they want to know more about me...Maybe read through my very long list of interests and spark up a conversation? Then I look at their profile and it says "just ask" it's mind boggling :(
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 5
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/23/2018 7:26:09 AM
makes it hard to start a conversation when their profile is so vague or empty. then coupled with no pic! why even try?
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 6
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/23/2018 12:38:01 PM
I agree with message 2.

Don’t take things on dating sites too seriously, OP. There’re all sorts of people behind their computer screen. Some are here to cheat on their partners, hook up only or FWBs etc.

IME, how a person writes their profile tells a lot about their personalities. If they don’t put effort into writing a decent (not necessarily a long with all life details) profile, they tend to be flakes IRL.

JMO.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 7
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/23/2018 2:28:11 PM
The answer to your question, as with so many things in life, is “It depends”. In this case, what it depends on is the AQ (Attractiveness Quotient) of the person behind the profile.

A woman who is DDG does not need to put any effort into a profile. She simply throws up a picture, and waits for her mailbox to fill up. As indeed it will, and in very short order.

And conversely, for men, those of us with experience at this game have learned by now that the words in our profile matter very little. Women do not (as a general rule) search out and approach men, and certainly not based on the words in their profile. Men must do the pursuing, they must send the initial messages, and if the woman doesn’t like his picture, he is toast. Similarly, if you get by that initial hurdle, when the woman does go to your profile (if indeed she ever does, many only go by the picture and the words in the initial message, …)

Where was I? Oh yeah, if you get by the picture test, and if she does look at your profile, then you have to pass the test for age, height, etc. Then and only then (If you haven’t already been disqualified), she might read the words. Maybe.

With men, it is really much much easier. You look good, he wants you, when can we get together?
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 8
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/23/2018 4:22:59 PM
I have no problem serving up comments on forums. Profiles-I hit a brick wall. Some can paint a picture with words on a profile. Since I was never a salesman, lying was never my long suit.

I sorta suspect that a fair number of men don't have the patience to type out a long profile. (Or anyone, for that matter) Used to be, I kept a dictionary within reach of my pc. This was before spellcheck. It's still not 100%, but I still use spellcheck. I could get long winded in doing a profile. But it came to no good end, as I found out.

Back and forth conversation, live, between two people, can always bring out more personality. I've seen too many 20 word replies to know that nothing is learned about a person, when they are read. Tell me, how many times have you looked at a profile with the words "Just Ask" and wished that they could hear you say, "About What???" I've been tempted to send that back at them, just to see if they'd have the moxie to answer it. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't get a reply anyway.

This is OLD, in a nutshell.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 9
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 1:31:58 AM
I know a lot of women don't read profiles out of
fear the persons profile they're looking at will message them.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 10
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 3:37:54 AM
There are people who treat online dating like an eBay auction. Highest bidder wins.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 11
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 4:42:21 AM
You don't really need a written, "About Me" section if you don't want to. Most people go by the pictures anyway.

However, you do want to see if they can string a sentence together, so exchange a few messages.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 12
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 5:15:14 AM
I have written back to a few "just ask" types...asking, "why not put a profile together?" It didn't go over very well :)
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 13
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 5:33:54 AM

There are people who treat online dating like an eBay auction. Highest bidder wins.
I believe that to be true. back when I actually got responses, I would have several women messaging and planning dates early in the week but all would be gone by Friday night. I had always assumed they locked in a date with the best available and traded up if something better came along.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 14
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 6:18:43 AM
At least this forum proves that men and women are in fact completely capable of communicating with people they don't know....even have common sense a some humor...that makes me feel a lot better.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 15
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 6:22:46 AM
I have written back to a few "just ask" types...asking, "why not put a profile together?" It didn't go over very well :)

- why not ask them a normal question, such as, "Where are you from"?
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 16
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 6:33:03 AM
If some one is too lazy to write any thing about them self, I realize it's their perogitive, but I'm not making the effort to write and ask them about them self...especially when their message to me was generic that they probably send to any one who's pictures they like....
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 17
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 6:44:04 AM
Hemingway, for example, I just took a quick glance at your profile and could have easily sent you a short message asking a question based on the content of you wrote. I would have taken less than 2 whole minutes to do that. Those are my apparently unrealistic expectations of OLD :)
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 18
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 6:54:56 AM
Ok. I'm apparently super 😞
From my heading, to my picture, short intro and long list of interests, I thought I had done EVERY thing possible to make it easy for a man to see if we might be compatible and initiate a conversation. But absolutely nothing works...so I ended up on the forum to vent and chat..
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 19
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/24/2018 7:14:03 AM
Some women will put little effort in their profile because they assume most men don't read the profile and only look at pictures and the stats. While that is true for some men, some women will do the same thing. They would ask me a question that has been answered in my profile or they clearly don't match what I am looking for. I usually didn't have a long profile when I used OLD. But I would include some things about myself such as interests and a few basic requirements (not a long laundry list) about the type of women I was interested in.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 20
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/25/2018 5:34:53 AM
^^^^that's true, many women do the same thing as well.

Dating is the tireless search for a needle in a haystack. It's just a lot of work, there is no way around that. I feel your pain.

OP, can I ask you something? Your profile is extremely specific - you are looking for a man with a boat. Are there that many men with boats in your area to pick and choose from? If there are, more power to you! Maybe that's your problem - there are not enough boaters to read your profile, so you are just getting the undesirables who don't read!

I think you have to ask yourself - are you looking for an activity partner or love? Common interests are not necessary, people who are normal, sociable, and like each other can find plenty to do together. Who does not want a walk on the beach with that special someone? People thinking that common interests are important is a myth.

I once saw a woman on a dating site looking for a construction worker or somebody who worked at home depot.......perhaps it would have been easier for her to put on something sexy and hang out in the paint isle at Home Depot?!
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 21
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/25/2018 5:49:55 AM
I realize I am very specific, looking for a fellow boater, but that's how I spend the majority of my time...its more of a life style than a hobby..and yes, where I live there are tons of boaters, apparently not many on the dating site though.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 22
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/25/2018 6:07:30 AM
Maybe get a part-time job in a marine store? You would get asked out lots and they are all boaters. (okay, half of them just do work on boats)
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 23
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/25/2018 6:15:06 AM
Haha...at one point I actually said in my profile that I would be better off putting a message up on the bulletin board at my marina :)
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 24
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/25/2018 6:17:35 AM
Lol! Well, you might find somebody here? But they need to have a boat AND you both have to fall in love (and you both have to be reasonable catches capable of sustaining a relationship - not everyone is) - that's a lot to ask. But it could happen! Please let me know if you find someone, I'm very curious.


vvvvvvvvvv Other things you could do would be to join a boater's club or meetup group. Also, you could frequent or be a waitress at restaurants or bars near the docks or marinas where the boater's keep their boats, launch, or buy their supplies. Boat sales could be another option for a job. There are tons of ways to do this if you set your mind to it.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 25
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/25/2018 6:25:49 AM
I like you Hemmingway, you offer good advice. I work for my self and have a lot of free time and going to search Indeed for part time jobs in the boating industry. I post on here because my friends in real life can't understand why I put my self through the B.S of being on POF.
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