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 ScottDoncaster
Joined: 5/7/2018
Msg: 1
Can anyone help?Page 1 of 1    
Hi, can anyone help with my profile? I have tried my best but not sure what is wrong.
The only thing I seem to attract is the nonsense popup profiles!
I get no responses to any of my messages and sometimes even blocked for no reason.
 cliffordjuju
Joined: 7/30/2018
Msg: 2
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/23/2018 1:32:50 PM
Your not the only one. I only get the stupid pop up profiles as well. I have just started reporting the user. It is not you it is all pof and i have noticed that any "real girls" just have a bunch of attitude and want some rich guy to sweep them off their feet and do everything else for them. Do yourself a favor and just meet someone the old fashioned way.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/23/2018 1:47:34 PM
You need better photos. No selfies, no children, no sunglasses. Your first photo is backlit, leaving a shadow on your face.
If you were trying to sell a car on Craigslist, wouldn't you get good photos?

POF can work, it takes time and effort.

Your write-up is good.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 4
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/23/2018 2:15:18 PM
The 'blocked for no reason' reason is because the woman you've contacted isn't interested and wants to avoid the potential for a vulgar follow-up. (yeah, some guys do that and it messes things up for regular guys) Nothing deeper than that. Move on.

Do remove the obvious selfies and replace them with smiling photos. There is no valid reason to have a photo of your underage child on an adult online dating site. Like anything else, your main photo and then your gallery are going to determine if your viewer reads any further. The idea is to look approachable and friendly and like you have a life outside of your house and car.

Why 'prefer not to say' for the kids question? Either you want more kids or you don't, or you're not sure. If you're thinking about someone who may already have a child(ren) at home, you can mention in your profile if you're open to meeting someone with kids. If not, don't. You say they're not with you full time, but does that mean weekends only? or Summer and holidays only? If you're not sure how to answer, I saw it once on a profile that said something like "I have two daughters, 5 & 7, that I don't get to see as much as I'd like". The end. It implies occassional visits and a good relationship with the kids.

For me, there really wasn't enough in the profile to get an idea of your sense of humour or what you'd be like to spend time with, or really who you're looking for. It was a bit generic. Same with the Interests - instead of a generic subject, why not note a one or two-word specific example? (ie: instead of Sports, you could put Ice Hockey or whatever...)

Even with The Golden Profile, this process takes time, patience, and a sense of humour. This shouldn't be your only method of meeting someone new.

NOTE: In the time it took me to write that the guy in message #2 has deleted his profile. I guess he was expecting this to be a drive-through dating service.
 ScottDoncaster
Joined: 5/7/2018
Msg: 5
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/23/2018 2:33:42 PM
Thankyou for your comments..

Are selfies not allowed? Although I get the part about children in photos I see it all the time on other profiles?
I will try to find better photos when the time comes. I hate my own photos.

The 'prefer not to say' is because, simply, I can't have any more kids, but I am happy to date someone with kids.
Are you saying I should put this reason in my profile?
I will add more about the child arrangements though.

I'm definately not expecting a drive-through dating service on here. This is not my first profile (I had one last year for a while, deleted and thought I would give it another try).
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 6
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/23/2018 4:22:27 PM
There are no rules against obvious selfies but they're just lame. Learn how to use the timer on your camera or get a friend/co-worker/kid to take some photos. The same for putting children in photos. There's just no valid reason to do it in this day and age. Your stats say you have kids, you mention the kids... we don't need 'proof'.

For the kids question - you can say "no" as you won't be making any new babies. Deal with the 'happy to date someone with kids' in your profile body.
 ScottDoncaster
Joined: 5/7/2018
Msg: 7
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/23/2018 11:47:40 PM
I have had this discussion before on this forum about the kids option. A lot of people do not get the "do you want kids" question.
If I say no here they may think I don't want any more kids in my life, even their current kids when scanning through. So respectfully I'll leave that as its
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 8
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/24/2018 8:29:23 AM
I agree. It's more complicated than I want or I don't want. And you know our advice here generally sounds the same for everyone, but situations are different.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 9
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/24/2018 12:45:32 PM
And, I think the category "prefer not to say" is not the best choice of words. It does sound shady/secretive. A better option might have been "will share upon acquaintance" or something along those lines. A lot of the questions POF asks, are really none of strangers' business. Such as religion for example. I am of a mixed religious background and am interested in/sort of practice both, to honor both sides of my heritage. And, I would be interested in meeting followers of both religions. I would like there to be an option "mixed heritage" or "will tell you more."
 ScottDoncaster
Joined: 5/7/2018
Msg: 10
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/24/2018 1:35:15 PM

And, I think the category "prefer not to say" is not the best choice of words



I was thinking the same thing really. There should be a lot more options on these questions!
Even if there's an option of "read my profile and I'll tell ya " to explain.

How much you earn is another one that grates me. Where does it even show on your profile?
Why does POF even need this information?
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 11
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/24/2018 1:37:19 PM
Salary doesn't show on a profile - you can enter any figure you want.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 12
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History
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/24/2018 4:21:34 PM

I get no responses to any of my messages and sometimes even blocked for no reason.


Disappointment will be your closest friend.


not sure what is wrong.


What is wrong is that, overall, women just do not participate as fully in the online dating process like they used to back in the glory days.


I'm definately not expecting a drive-through dating service on here.


That's good, because they boarded up the window.
And you can't even get any fries with that.


Are selfies not allowed?


Oh, they're allowed.
But some people are fussy and nitpicky about every little thing, and make this process much harder than it needs to be.


Why does POF even need this information?


They don't.
Really all this is, is an introduction site, to see if you want to get to know someone better.
But people make it so complicated and difficult.

Best of luck.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 13
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Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/24/2018 6:54:47 PM
It is the nature of this particular forum to be picky. People come here and ask us to pick apart their profile. That's how it works here.


But some people are fussy and nitpicky about every little thing, and make this process much harder than it needs to be.


It is possible to find someone on here. It takes time and effort. You need to be pleasant and cheerful when communicating with a new prospect. I must have taken 50 photos. I was rejected countless times. My BF found me after a dozen or so profile revisions with my umpteenth set of new photos.

Many people rely on their phones for searching. Your photo shows up as a tiny square on a phone, if it's dark, or unsmiling, why would she bother to read the profile? Good photos make a difference.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 14
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/25/2018 4:48:44 AM
I don't think there is any thing wrong with your write up. As for the pics, it would be great to have some that weren't selfies....if you don't have other pics right now I would take down some of the selfies until you have other pics.
As for women blocking you, it is unfortunately something that women do just in case men keep messaging and get nasty.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 15
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/25/2018 4:55:28 AM
Some people might disagree, but I would rather see pics of some of the places you like to go in the country (add a caption to explain it) rather than multiple similar selfies..try to paint a picture of what spending time with you would be like. Hope that helps..its brutal out there :)
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 16
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/25/2018 6:24:20 PM
Do you want children? "Prefer not to say" implies you hate kids. Or you hate other people's kids. There is the option for "Undecided/Open". That would be the smart choice in your situation.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 17
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Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/26/2018 1:28:33 PM

It is the nature of this particular forum to be picky. People come here and ask us to pick apart their profile. That's how it works here.



But some people are fussy and nitpicky about every little thing, and make this process much harder than it needs to be.




I was rejected countless times. My BF found me after a dozen or so profile revisions with my umpteenth set of new photos.


Do we have to go through this every time?

YOU ignored your BF's 1st 2 messages.

You weren't impressed.

You judged him unworthy.

So he "pestered" you again with a 3rd message before you finally responded.

Is THAT a positive and inspirational beginning?

Is that what every guy should have to go through?

Why isn't your advice to every guy simply, "Just keep pestering them with messages, that's what worked on me?"
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 18
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Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/26/2018 6:58:48 PM
No, you really have it wrong. We don't have to go through this, you can ignore me.

Yes, I ignored 2 messages. Trust me, you may be pissed by that, but he is not. When he tells the story, it's with humor. But I did not judge him unworthy. I was tired of OLD, and tired of putting myself out there for men who didn't appreciate it. He also lived 185 miles away. I had tried communicating with men at a distance before and it never went anywhere. I wasn't impressed by his photos, that's true.

He did not pester me. He wrote again, pleasantly and respectfully. No, every guy shouldn't have to go through that. But if it takes an effort to be pleasant and respectful, maybe more guys should make that effort. I noticed because an unacceptable percentage of men who wrote to me were rude and crude. I don't advise men to pester women, because I'm pretty sure that won't work.

I don't post here to provide my own story as inspiration. I tell people how I think they can improve their profiles. You can do that too, instead of offering discouragement.

But most of all, as I said above, we don't have to go through this, we can offer people advice, and we can ignore each other.

Scott, I'm sorry to derail your thread.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 19
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Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/27/2018 11:40:26 AM

we can ignore each other. .


Like you ignored my posting when you posted your message 13?


you really have it wrong..


No, I don't.
I'm only repeating the information you have provided in previous posts.


But I did not judge him unworthy.


If you didn't respond to his first 2 messages, you judged him unworthy of a response.
Simple.


I tell people how I think they can improve their profiles. You can do that too, instead of offering discouragement.


If you had paid any attention in the past, I have advised numerous men to use as much clean humor in profiles and messages as possible, as that used to work well. I also tell it like it is now in the world of OLD, so as not to provide false hope. If people are going to be nitpicky about every little detail in a simple profile, what are they going to be like in a real-life relationship?


He did not pester me.


Based on the all the past threads already started by men asking about sending SECOND messages, and being mostly advised against doing so, I suspect that if your BF had asked a question about sending a third message after the first 2 being ignored, the overwhelming response here would have told him to move on, that sending a third message would be pestering, creepy, and make him appear desperate.


Scott, I'm sorry to derail your thread.


Actually, you didn't derail his thread.
He wanted to know what was wrong, as he gets no responses to any of his messages and gets blocked for no reason.
And your tale provides him some of the answers.

Oh, and if you respond to this message, than that won't qualify as "ignoring".
 ScottDoncaster
Joined: 5/7/2018
Msg: 20
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/27/2018 11:59:12 AM

Do you want children? "Prefer not to say" implies you hate kids. Or you hate other people's kids. There is the option for "Undecided/Open". That would be the smart choice in your situation.

In my eyes, saying "Undecided/Open" could give out the false impression I wanted to have more of my own and could be construed as lying?
If I could physically have more then I wouldn't be totally against having more I love kids.

POF should really expand on this selection,
What does anyone else think?
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 21
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/27/2018 5:29:16 PM
Honestly, you have a great profile. The main photo is nice. Are you still receiving fewer responses than you would like?
 ScottDoncaster
Joined: 5/7/2018
Msg: 22
Can anyone help?
Posted: 9/28/2018 12:23:01 PM
[quote)] Honestly, you have a great profile. The main photo is nice. Are you still receiving fewer responses than you would like?
To be honest I've not had a good week so not been on here to text other people.
Been ill and on top off that caught my little toe on the edge of the sofa walking passed and broken it 😖.
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