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 xerxes78
Joined: 9/4/2018
Msg: 1
What’s the deal with hey there messages?Page 1 of 1    
I get quite a few messages from women and 90% of them are “hey there”

I don’t respond to all of them, but the ones I’m interested I’ll respond to. But when I do, I have never gotten a reply back. So what’s the point in sending a message to someone and not responding or starting a conversation. The first “hey there” implies interest or they wouldn’t have taken the time to message you in the first place right?

I just don’t get it. Any insight or opinions on this?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 2
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/25/2018 2:58:29 PM
It's a mechanical response - pretty much the same kind of thing as guys clicking on the green checkmark in the "Meet me" window.

There are fake profiles of women that pop up by the dozens every hour in here - and a lot of them are foreign scammers who really can't carry a legit conversation - they want to grab your attention and lure you to chatting offline - usually through e-mail on another site. They click on the 'Hey There' thingy to see if you are dumb enough to chat with them. POF is trying really hard to weed out these scams - but as a free site, they can keep coming back with a different e-mail again and again.

If you get another "Hey There" message and nothing following up -- wait about an hour or two before replying. Most scam profiles are wiped out by POF within an hour. Their picture window will be blank if they are a fake.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 3
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/25/2018 3:11:03 PM
When a woman views a man's profile under your main profile photo it says:

Send a Flirt with a clickable button labeled Show Interest

Clicking that generates the messages you are referring to. It is like a wink and it is lame. Previous poster is correct. Ignore them until a bit of time has gone by. If it is a fake the profile will go away.
 xerxes78
Joined: 9/4/2018
Msg: 4
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/25/2018 3:17:12 PM
Ahh I didn’t know you had that “flirt” option. I don’t think men have that option as I’ve never seen it.

I’ve been around POF for sometime, on and off and I know the fake profiles. I usually can tell if it’s fake or not. They make it pretty obvious. And I usually wait awhile to respond to see if the message gets deleted or the profile gets banned.

The ones I’m referring to that I’ve responded to, I still see them online all the time and it’s been days or weeks since the initial contact.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 5
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/25/2018 5:04:39 PM
I send hey there messages...
I don't know what else to say... usually these are not replied to.
 xerxes78
Joined: 9/4/2018
Msg: 6
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/25/2018 5:14:51 PM
Hey there messages are very hard to respond to, even for men. Even if you get a reply usually the conversation will fizzle out because there isn’t much substance or much to go on after that.
 HDphotog321
Joined: 7/7/2017
Msg: 7
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/25/2018 11:34:37 PM
well with ME? I figure that...its SUCH a WASTE of time, typing this nice creat letter ONLY for the chick to sit there and say...ah, sorry dont think were a MATCH. after I put all this work into trying to wooo here and write a nice letter.
SO....if I actually DO get even so much as a "actually letter responce" . then I'll put more effort into thing. ''
 MtRushmore1970
Joined: 10/3/2014
Msg: 8
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:35:00 PM
Hey there messages are hard to respond to, particularly if their profile has nothing to go on. I used to respond to them, but 99% of them were from scammers.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 9
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:59:47 PM
Thanks for the feedback... I THOUGHT that hey there or something like that is a good way for a female to indicate interest without scaring him off... to get his attention and if he finds you attractive he'll connect... please give me examples of successful first messages from women that are not hey there and not over the top.
 HDphotog321
Joined: 7/7/2017
Msg: 10
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/27/2018 1:59:17 AM
If I actually get a REAL letter from a women that puts some effort into things, then I will certainly responce back. That said, what KILLS me is....some will write and say__ oh tell me more about myself. huh? MORE about my self. what MORE do you wanna know. its ALL right there!
 HDphotog321
Joined: 7/7/2017
Msg: 11
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/27/2018 2:09:49 AM
what kills me as well is....Id MUCH rather TALK on the phone, then go back and forth on this lovely site. then again the handfull of people that have been NICE enough to actually respond back. are SO anti phone people. unreal! so its beyond me that...this site TOTS itself on being the number 1 site for relationship. yea? BS! AND this stupid MEET me thing? or when I get the notification that. xzp wants to MEET you? yea? BS!!! if they want to...MEET ME so bad when not just WRITE me, instead. AND 55 out of 60 usernames are FAKE anyway. and whats with this...wanna meet someone to CONNECT with? hey people if you dont, MEET someone IN person, how that heck are you gonna GET to know them enough to know wither your gonna connect with them or not. what by just 2 emails? or only if the GUY is INKED up enough, then its an automatic HE's a COOL guy? unreal.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 12
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/27/2018 4:52:52 PM

Thanks for the feedback... I THOUGHT that hey there or something like that is a good way for a female to indicate interest without scaring him off... to get his attention and if he finds you attractive he'll connect... please give me examples of successful first messages from women that are not hey there and not over the top.


I usually send a sentence or two, commenting on something in his profile, and it's usually a question. If the profile is very vague, then I come up with some other question to ask. The success rate was hit and miss, probably depending more on his level of interest in me than on whatever I wrote in my message.

I will say I also found it difficult to respond to hey there messages, and usually ignored them.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 13
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:37:44 AM
It sounds like a question an alfalfa male would ask!
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 14
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/28/2018 9:24:32 AM
90 percent of the messages I got were "Hey there" some would add a smilie face.

Lots also came from women with profiles saying that if you message them say more than just "hi"

I called all of them out and made fun of them. One thing women hate is being called out.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 15
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/28/2018 9:31:16 AM
I can’t even remember the last time I had anything develop from this site. These days I do not look at profiles or send messages here. I use Tinder and Bumble, and Bumble seems to be a lot more active in my area than Tinder. On Bumble, where the woman has to initiate, I get mostly “Hi” or something like that. No problem, I’ll pick it up and run with it.

No woman who is attractive will ever have to work hard to get dates, not in my experience. We have seen a few women come and go here on these forums, women who look quite attractive but claim to have no success at dating. I usually attribute that to being too picky. Hard for me to imagine any other reason.

Back 2 or 3 years ago, I had an initial meeting (a dinner date actually) with an attractive widow. She and her husband did everything together, they were inseparable, and what they most enjoyed were sailing and snow skiing. She was looking for a replacement for her dead husband. And she told me all about her experiences trying to find said replacement.

There was the guy who claimed to be an avid skier, but when they went on a skiing trip, he would only ski on the beginner slopes. And the guy who said he was an experienced sailor, rented a sail boat so they could go sailing then didn’t really know how to operate the boat. What struck me was that she had found 2 men who liked her enough, were attracted strongly enough, to put in that kind of effort. But that wasn’t good enough for her.

I expect she’s going to be alone for the rest of her life.
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 16
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/28/2018 10:37:17 AM
I think. a number of hey there messages are created by clicking the send a flirt button on the sender’s profile. It’s a sign that the person is interested in you.

However, I agree that it can be from people who don’t know what to say in their first messages or don’t make an effort to strike up a convo.

I always ignore these hey there messages.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 17
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/29/2018 5:27:37 AM
There is nothing wrong with the flirt for women/hey there message. Haven't you ever heard the phrase, "You had me at 'Hello'"?

As a matter of fact, usually the guy writes first, so that's even less than a "Hey there". Some of you people have a stick up your butt!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 18
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/29/2018 6:59:37 AM
I don't see anything wrong with them . I used to send "hi there ;)". It is pinging for mutual interest. In an ideal world men get that button as well. It is faster than spelling out wink and flips hair.
As someone said there are a lot of scammers out there but they have better tactics than that.
 bearcat44
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 19
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 10/19/2018 10:23:12 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npBKT6ZV9Xg
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 20
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What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 10/21/2018 2:06:57 PM
I don't have a problem with "Hey there" of "How are you?" messages for the first email. The purpose of the first email is determining initial interest from the profile and pictures. If there mutual interest, subsquent emails can help determine how articulate or lazy someone is.
 bearcat44
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 21
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 10/21/2018 3:53:05 PM
"Hey there" messages are wonderful! When a woman does this, she is letting you
know that she is not worth your time, no matter what.

Either she is lazy, boring/stupid or simply a scammer.
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