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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Should I just sit back and wait for emails?      Home login  
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 dvarpala9176
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 1
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?Page 1 of 1    
I’m new at this, was married for 12 years then in two 3 year relationships back to back, so I don’t have much experience.
Seems like women message me, more then I get responses from my messages?
Is that how it works these days?
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 2
Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/26/2018 6:29:17 PM
You're in charge of your life big guy, I can't tell you what you should do.
 dvarpala9176
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 3
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/26/2018 6:39:29 PM
I guess the question is, do women actually respond to emails, or is it just my emails?
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 4
Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/26/2018 8:00:11 PM
It probably depends on the reason the woman is on POF. If she is truly looking to meet someone, she likely puts effort in her profile, reads her messages and talks to the men she finds interesting. If not, she may just be reading messages for attention or laughs or she may not even be checking her mailbox. (All of the above is me guessing - not facts.)
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 5
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:10:55 AM
Back to back relationships might
give the impression you were working on the
second one before the first one
ended.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 6
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:26:53 AM

Seems like women message me, more then I get responses from my messages?

Okay I am going to be presumptuous and read between the lines a bit.

You message the women you are attracted to and they do not respond.
Women you are not attracted to message you.

Three of your photos are of nothing. The other photos are basically the same. Get a full body shot. Smile with your teeth in at least one photo.
Get rid of the age restriction. Most women who are serious will roll their eyes and click next.

Adjust your rose colored lens and be realistic. Online dating is a much tougher nut to crack than real life.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 7
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/28/2018 9:39:52 AM

spot4username
Adjust your rose colored lens and be realistic. Online dating is a much tougher nut to crack than real life.

Very, very true. A whole lot of the time and effort that you put into online dating is going to be wasted, not a chance, ever.

There is another thread here on these forums, a current thread, where a good looking young woman admits that she has a boy friend, but keeps her profile up “just for entertainment”. She even talks about showing the messages she receives to her boyfriend, so the two of them can laugh together over how “desperate” the men are.

But do not give up. This can work. I have had two relationships over the last 8 years, and I met both of those ladies online.

spot4username
You message the women you are attracted to and they do not respond.
Women you are not attracted to message you.

Wow, that sounds exactly like my experiences in real life! And I do mean exactly.

The ones I want, do not want me. The ones who want me, I do not want.

But if you’re patient, and keep trying, things will click. At least, they have for me, and many others.

ON EDIT:


Get rid of the age restriction. Most women who are serious will roll their eyes and click next.

Did he change the age restriction? What I’m seeing is 43 and younger, and he is 42, doesn’t seem outlandish?

 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 8
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/28/2018 1:35:05 PM

Did he change the age restriction? What I’m seeing is 43 and younger, and he is 42, doesn’t seem outlandish?

No it is the same. However a lot of women will look at it and think hmmmm so ... a woman is expected to date men X years older than her and he will go as young as possible BUT he will basically ONLY accept email from women who are younger than him. That one year is not enough to shake the feeling that he will always be looking over your shoulder hoping for younger. It just gives one pause. No reason for the age restrictions since they are already in place. At the time that one is bombarded with messages perhaps that is when the restrictions are needed.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 9
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/29/2018 2:52:37 AM
From your profile:

"Looking to achieve financial independence, if you can help with that even better chances your the one."

No wonder the secure, preferred women are running away.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 10
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 9/29/2018 8:00:15 AM
You're a new user. You will probably get more unsolicited messages and views in the first month than any other time. Strike while the iron is hot. Message everyone you might like to meet. If someone you find appealing responds, don't stop looking and messaging. This is because your "new fish smell" will probably wear off soon, suddenly and without warning. The people with whom you are having conversations are likely to disappear, or if you do meet, there might not be chemistry.


Some gals might not like huge tattoos. This might lower the quantity of responses, but raise the quality and weed out the ones who would disappear upon discovering the tats if all your photos had been long sleeved covering them.


Some women do reply. Not all who reply are interested, and those who seem interested at first might "change their mind".


Some of the ones you don't find attractive who message you now are probably messaging a high percentage of new users. People of both genders often focus on new users when they run out. Some are selective while others mindlessly message "everyone". I believe after your new fish smell wears off, the occasional ones who message you first will be less unappealing (if they're not scammers).


Good luck.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 11
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 10/2/2018 9:17:34 AM

You're a new user. You will probably get more unsolicited messages and views in the first month than any other time. Strike while the iron is hot. Message everyone you might like to meet. If someone you find appealing responds, don't stop looking and messaging. This is because your "new fish smell" will probably wear off soon, suddenly and without warning. The people with whom you are having conversations are likely to disappear, or if you do meet, there might not be chemistry.


- being new is the worst thing..........yes, you will get more attention from the veterans - the losers who have serious problems and issues, the undesirables nobody wants. Doesn't sound too great now, does it?!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 12
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 10/3/2018 6:53:40 AM

You're a new user. You will probably get more unsolicited messages and views in the first month than any other time. Strike while the iron is hot.

I agree. If you're online later at night, you'll get spam ones (so don't mistaken that for 'real' emails)... but yes, you will get some girls knocking at the door more when New VS in 3-4 weeks after that dies out.

Also, when a gal initially writes You, she's more likely to respond to what you write her (in reply), than if you wrote her first. No, you don't sit around waiting for girls to write you, although you may get the illusion that's an OK idea if you're fresh fish for the first few weeks.

But once your profile's not so 'fresh' -- you'll realize the meager attention coming To you will drop to near-zero. And it's not like it's the ideal attention you want, although you could get lucky with it. In the end, don't prepare yourself to sit back waiting messages to come to you - lol.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 13
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Should I just sit back and wait for emails?
Posted: 10/4/2018 3:42:48 PM
Ten years ago when I first joined here I met two men. I did so fairly quickly asking after the first few messages if they wanted to meet. The first one was in June 2008 and the second one in July 2008. They both responded and there was no question that I was attracted to them because I did message them first. The first gentleman I will call Curt, because that was his name. We are still friends. The second one I will call Scott, because that was his name. He was dreamy, a nightmare.
I always have contacted the men here first that I was willing to meet and or date. I didn't wait for emails from others and quite frankly I ignored most others seeking out the men I found attractive. Not all women do this. I found it easier to navigate if I did the searching and initial messaging.

You can play the field here whatever way you wish. However I think it would be best for you to contact the ladies that you find attractive and or think you have somethings in common with.

If you need help with your presentation then I would suggest you ask for a profile review in that forum. Ask a girl will limit your responses. The nice people in PROFILE REVIEW will help with suggestions on how to improve your profile for more views and attention.

Good luck in your searches or not. I have found in general in life you don't get what you want unless you ask for it. Just saying.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Should I just sit back and wait for emails?