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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?      Home login  
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 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 1
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
hi, I am divorced for over 8 years, and i am new in this online dating, or dating, period. I met a really nice guy on POF and met in person about a month ago. While he is nice and polite, but it seems like he only wants to meet once a week and there is not much communication during the weekdays either. I understand being busy but I am just not sure if he only wants a weekend companion (just meet, dine, watch movie and talk, nothing else), or he is not really into me? Is one month too short to know you really like this person or not? I am just confused. Please share your thoughts on this? Thanks.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 2
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 12:00:59 AM
There could be reasons to only see you once a week, but if you're not comfortable with this arrangement you should talk to to him to find out why. If you're still uncomfortable or suspicious this isn't the right fit.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 3
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 2:54:20 AM
Don't bother. Find somebody else.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 4
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 5:17:20 AM
Some people don't talk on the phone, and save the talking for date night. Also, one date a week is reasonable.....especially in the first month, where you guys have not fallen in love yet.

However, you have to find a communication and dating frequency and relationship that's right for you.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 5
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 6:55:18 AM
It's the way I am.

Work keeps me hopping. By the time I get home, I turn into a zombie. Between work and home chores, about once a week is all I have time for. My mind is tired after work. I used up all of communication skills at work, it's time for something else to make noise at me. If I get extra busy, it's even worse for me. I doubt you'd want to listen to me yap about work. That's where my mind is.

Tell him about that. Word it the same as you did to us. Then go from there.
 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 6
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 3:44:45 PM
Thanks everybody for the input. Dating these days, after 45, is just so mysterious to me, :-)
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 7
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 4:11:36 PM
Did he at least give you his phone number?
 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 8
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 6:07:29 PM
yes, he gave me his phone number and seems very sincerely and nice.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 9
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 8:24:06 PM
Since you are looking to remarry do you honestly want to spend your life with someone who barely communicates with you?
 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 10
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 8:56:04 PM
Thanks, that's exactly what I am asking myself and hope to get some thoughts from you guys. Last time I dated was almost 25 years ago, maybe I just don't know how people think these days...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 11
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 10:21:17 PM

lionfishgirl
Last time I dated was almost 25 years ago, maybe I just don't know how people think these days...

It does not matter, not one iota, what “people think these days”. What matters is what YOU are comfortable with, and does this man make you happy.

I think purplerider1200 gave you the best advice. Talk to him, not to us. All that matters is what you think, what you feel, and how he reacts to that. But you have to talk to him, not to us.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 12
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/30/2018 2:01:49 AM
He is treating your relationship/dating scenario as something very casual. Not a good sign in my opinion. You could ask him about why it's only a weekly thing.
At this point if you aren't happy with how things are, probably a good sign you just need to find someone else where you are happy.
 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 13
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/30/2018 3:06:22 AM
Thanks everyone! I did talk about it with him and I was going to see how things go for a couple more weeks. I asked for help here because I am not sure if I am asking too much in general. Thank you guys for telling me that what "I" think or feel matters the most.
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 14
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/30/2018 7:54:09 AM
I think this question has no specific answer. It’s very individual and depends on how you want your relationship.

I don’t live with my bf yet , we’re about 30 mins by car from one another. I work full time, long hours. I can’t see him more than once a week, otherwise, I’ll be too exhausted to concentrate on work. I do have friends to go out with and other things in life that I enjoy. I also need my me time every so often. And my bf is ok with this arrangement as well.

So if you want to see him more often than the current arrangement, speak to him. Bring up the topic casually and ask him what he thinks about your proposal. If you come on too strong too early, he might be scared away.

Good luck.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 15
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/30/2018 2:32:53 PM

He is treating your relationship/dating scenario as something very casual. Not a good sign in my opinion.

and you know this... how?

you are projecting your own feelings onto this man...
we have no clue what his thoughts are...

some of us don't feel the need to spend all our free time dating...once a week suits my...and many others, needs perfectly.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 16
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/30/2018 6:33:23 PM
My situation is exactly like Polly's, and I agree with Ms Micki.
For my BF and I, weekends are together. During the week, is for work.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 17
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/30/2018 9:18:40 PM
I've encountered a couple single moms who have their schedules so micro-managed that they only have windows of opportunity every other weekend when kids are gone, and even then, have dates already booked for hen parties, ladies night out and stuff like that. Another lady with two kids in sole custody basically made it a rule that the guy would have to take a morning or afternoon off from work during the week for her first date while the kids were in school, or she wasn't interested.

A guy making time once a week is generous in comparison.
 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 18
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/30/2018 9:34:26 PM
I guess we all have different needs and I do need to find out mine. Thanks everybody.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 19
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/2/2018 8:59:48 AM

I've encountered a couple single moms who have their schedules so micro-managed that they only have windows of opportunity every other weekend when kids are gone, and even then, have dates already booked for hen parties, ladies night out and stuff like that. Another lady with two kids in sole custody basically made it a rule that the guy would have to take a morning or afternoon off from work during the week for her first date while the kids were in school, or she wasn't interested.


- yup! kids are the main priority, not dating. That's just the way the cookie crumbles!
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 20
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/2/2018 4:37:46 PM
Hemingway writes
- yup! kids are the main priority, not dating. That's just the way the cookie crumbles!

I have had 2 meets in the last 2.5 years. And am currently baby sitting my 5 month old Grandson on weekends while my daughter is at work. A dating or relationship at this point in my life... really have no idea how it would even work. lol.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 21
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/2/2018 5:48:00 PM
I've been catching up with a 'dimly viewing' person this way for two months now... he lives much farther north of me, comes down my way on weekends to stay with his family and grandkids... he's also trying to establish a new business for last years of his life...
I've been studying industry recertifciation and home educating... so my weeks have been swamped with everything...

Coffee afternoon on Sundays when he returns home... and a once in a while Friday evening when he comes down to my part of town. Sometimes we even chat on social media while playing a 'word' game in our lazy evenings..

Where's the rush??

"normal"... is about finding what works for you... (as the famous Charles Addams quote goes... "what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly"... )
 apriloveswhiteroses
Joined: 7/28/2018
Msg: 22
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/2/2018 7:08:41 PM

He is treating your relationship/dating scenario as something very casual. Not a good sign in my opinion. You could ask him about why it's only a weekly thing.
At this point if you aren't happy with how things are, probably a good sign you just need to find someone else where you are happy.

+1
A man who really likes a woman and wants a serious relationship, communicate everyday by phone to say at least good night or good morning!! Only one month and he
Behave like that?..ask him about it!!


=========

The fact that many women accept this situation doesn't mean it is
Normal or a good relationship...unless YOU / the woman asked for whatever reason to be that way!!
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 23
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/2/2018 8:40:00 PM
I was in a long distance relationship where we only saw each other once a week -- and that relationship lasted for three years. He had obligations in his hometown, and I had obligations in my hometown. It worked for us for the time, but such a relationship doesn't work for everybody. He lived alone and so did I; and we were kind of used to having our own "space" during the week.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 24
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/3/2018 3:50:33 AM
lionfishgirl did you notice that most of these replies are talking about dating only and don't take into account that you are looking to remarry
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 25
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/3/2018 2:12:01 PM

did you notice that most of these replies are talking about dating only and don't take into account that you are looking to remarry

That's called logic. You can't put the cart in front of the horse.
Couples need to grow into a relationship through dating, not get married first and worry about compatibility later.
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