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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?      Home login  
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 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 1
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
A few weeks ago I joined a social group where there was a massive turn-out at the first meeting. At one point I noticed a guy standing in a different circle kept looking over at me, but seemed too nervous to approach. So I put him out of his misery by flashing a big smile, at which point he came right over and introduced himself. At the end of the night I had a strong feeling he wanted to ask for my number, but seemed too nervous to do it in front of the group.

Next day he added me on Facebook, having found me through the event function. I got talking to him, asking if he'd like to go to an event together. He said he'd love to and the date was set! We chatted once a day up until the date a week later & he seemed super excited. Date night came & he seemed very interested, complimenting me just the right amount (not love-bombing) & asking interesting, in-depth questions about me. Later some friends from the group joined us and we set tongues wagging - as he didn't leave my side all night. I would say...it was a very INTENSE first date. We talked life values, philosophy, politics, future dreams etc...oh and he casually tells me he's moving to another country (a couple of hours away) early next year!

The date ended up going on for several hours and he insisted on paying for everything. Now just before the end of the date he blurted out that he was very shy, though trying to overcome his anxieties & also let slip that he was seeing a psychologist. He walked me home & didn't try it on. He contacted me straight afterwards and then again the next morning, to see how I was doing and how my day was going.

Since then 2 days ago? NOTHING. Complete and utter tumbleweed. To be honest I just feel a bit upset because I feel bared my soul to him and vice versa, moreso than I ever have before on any first date. What is even worse is that I may bump into him tomorrow at an event and undoubtedly at more events through our mutual social group in future. I'm feeling pretty upset at the moment, as I did like him and thought he seemed decent. How to deal?
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 2
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/8/2018 12:56:54 PM
Also I've seen him online a couple times, so it's obvious he's just decided to ignore me.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 3
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/8/2018 1:22:59 PM
If it's only been a couple of days, I'd give him more time to contact you again. Maybe he felt overwhelmed by the sudden emotional intensity, and needs a little time to reassess things and get back to normal.

If more than a week goes by with no contact from him, he probably lost interest. It's possible that he decided he didn't want to get attached to you, due to his impending move to another country.
 Cloud_Interpreter
Joined: 8/18/2018
Msg: 4
Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/8/2018 1:23:56 PM
Wow. No text/message/voicemail in *two* days and you think he's ghosting you?

Here are some perhapses:

Perhaps he's overcome with what he feels for you (you did say it was an "intense" date) and is trying to sort things out.
Perhaps his shyness is stopping him from reaching out.
Perhaps he's questioning how "intense" the date was and is regrouping.
Perhaps he's waiting for you to reach out so he doesn't scare you off by seeming too eager.
Perhaps he's been busy.
Perhaps he's waiting for the next time he sees you at your group meet.
Perhaps you scared the bejesus out of him.
Perhaps he regrets telling you about his shyness and seeing a psychologist.
Perhaps he's ghosting you.

You can either reach out and discuss this with him like an adult or wait for your group meet. I'd say the next step is yours.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 5
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/8/2018 1:44:55 PM
OP:

Since then 2 days ago? NOTHING. Complete and utter tumbleweed. To be honest I just feel a bit upset because I feel bared my soul to him and vice versa, moreso than I ever have before on any first date. What is even worse is that I may bump into him tomorrow at an event and undoubtedly at more events through our mutual social group in future. I'm feeling pretty upset at the moment, as I did like him and thought he seemed decent. How to deal?


Send him a short text inquiring if he's going to the next event. Then a casual 'see you there'?

Texts are relatively non-invasive. Both can save face if it's not to be.
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 6
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/8/2018 1:53:21 PM
Oh never mind...he literally just contacted me apologising as it has been a busy few days.

He then asked me out again tomorrow night...

I actually have been processing the date ever since also. It was super intense for me too and I've been considering how to approach given he is most likely leaving soon. It's just been a while since I'e felt a connection like this, so typical that it would be with someone that isn't intending to stick around.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 7
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/8/2018 5:58:06 PM

For such a short time of knowing each other ~ we both shared super intense feelings together


^^^ There are no bounds, no people, no commitments , no restrictions or monetary problems that will prevent two who really love each other, from getting together. It's cool ~ because it's true what they say > "' love will find a way ".

...... The path has been newly created, the manner in which it will continue & grow in strength, is through constant communication. So take your hurdles slow and easy, let them happen spontaneously . With each conversation together, you may find him ~ getting " closer to you " ...

heart /sun
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 8
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/8/2018 6:07:50 PM
^^^^
... Wouldn't you know it ?? I'm reminded of a song I love ~ This will be for you two ...

* lyrics ~ " . Fly this girl as high as you can, into the wild blue ..
.................. Set me free, oh I pray ..
.................. Closer to heaven above, and closer to you ..
.................. Closer to { you }

................. CLOSER TO YOU by the Dixie Chicks

................. > turn it up ^

................... heart / sun
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 9
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/9/2018 8:37:04 AM

Oh never mind...he literally just contacted me apologising as it has been a busy few days.

He then asked me out again tomorrow night...

Remember: Anxiety. Guys are more like girls (and vice versa) than society leads you to believe. There's Far more diversity among men than society leads you to believe, too. We like in stereotyping society, that even tradition likes to falsely push. But when the rubber meats the road, it isn't quite like that.

Anyway, his 'game' wasn't optimal, but a shy/anxious guy hitting you up the day after and feeling maybe coming off too strong... thoughts in his head about how you feel about him... he's caught up with stuff a lot... doesn't want to smother (again, he couldn't muster up to ask you out early on). That said, sure, part of it could be him questioning seriously dating, and instead evaluating you some. But he followed through.

Also, never Rely on the guy hitting you up. It's a two-way street -- just the same as you find in a guy-guy or girl-girl relationship, once you've already had a date or two. And take his "breather" period as a positive sign: Relax, it's just dating. :)
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 10
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/9/2018 4:20:30 PM
Thanks Norwegian guy.

Just back from the second date :) We almost shut the bar down again, so engrossed we were! He was very complimentary, noticing little details about me and it was all extremely romantic. He kept stealing gazes at me when we were talking to other people also, which I found very endearing.

Out of the 5 hours that we were together, he mentioned his impending move once. Strangely I find myself happy living in the moment and just enjoying his company. Six months ago I was knee deep in a horrid break up and since I've met him I barely think of my ex anymore. I feel very content, regardless of what the future holds.
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 11
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/9/2018 5:19:02 PM
I hope this dude is smarter than you think and RUNS LIKE HELL from you, you psycho.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 12
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/9/2018 6:06:12 PM
^^^Damn...who pizzed in your Post Toasties?

Glad things are working out for ya OP!
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 13
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/10/2018 2:27:54 AM
Enjoy the feelings and time spent, together, but be careful, especially if he's moving away (even though it's only a couple of hours away from you).
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 14
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/14/2018 8:25:06 AM
Ok so he asked me to go to an all day music event with him next weekend but right now I'm confused.

I actually don't know if he's into me romantically! Because we haven't kissed and he barely touches me, aside from goodbye hugs/when he complimented my outfit he reached out and touched my shirt. I looped my arm through his as we walked around which he seemed comfortable with too. I mean, my instincts say he is really into me but he has made no move to kiss me yet and hasn't said he is?

Next week will be the third time we've gone out and I want a kiss, or to make it clear I want to be more intimate with him. How do I go about doing this?
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 15
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/14/2018 10:51:42 AM

Ok so he asked me to go to an all day music event with him next weekend but right now I'm confused.

I actually don't know if he's into me romantically! Because we haven't kissed and he barely touches me, aside from goodbye hugs/when he complimented my outfit he reached out and touched my shirt. I looped my arm through his as we walked around which he seemed comfortable with too. I mean, my instincts say he is really into me but he has made no move to kiss me yet and hasn't said he is?

Next week will be the third time we've gone out and I want a kiss, or to make it clear I want to be more intimate with him. How do I go about doing this?


He is spending time with you, so says a lot. The way he is acting is just being respectful. It is very likely he is waiting for you to say kiss me already :)

I've been that guy ;)
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 16
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/14/2018 2:06:11 PM
... Wait until you both are walking together, preferably near the end of a date. Drop some lipstick or some such item on the ground. When he dutifully bends down to retrieve the item , picks it up and returns it to your hand >>>>

... Grab that sucker ( lipstick, gum, whatever ) cast it to the ground & PLANT ONE EL GIGANTO ..

... WET tongue included, smackarooni kiss right on his cute lil' lips !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... ^ Grabbing his a-ss and holding onto it, is optional ( although preferred ). But at the very least > make sure to get some wet tongue in there, and don't let him up for air until both he & you ..

... Feel that hot lil' twitch, right in the correct spots !!! col

heart / sun
 apriloveswhiteroses
Joined: 7/28/2018
Msg: 17
Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/14/2018 3:24:55 PM
^^^^
Ewwwwwww

I believe That is called sexual assault :):)

===========


I actually don't know if he's into me romantically! Because .....he barely touches me, .....he complimented my outfit he reached out and touched my shirt.

You need to read what you wrote here.. And THINK.. Think again.. Your answer is there. :)


I looped my arm through his as we walked around which he seemed comfortable with too. I mean, my instincts say he is really into me but he has made no move to kiss me yet and hasn't said he is?


I am sure you already showed to him that you like him, by now he knows it, let him do next step, you already did your part by the way you behave (flirt) when are together.
Now, if you don't mind his "cold" behavior then throw yourself on him and accept whatever he give back!

========
Advise:
With this man, always feel and think with your head (brain) not with your heart!.:)
Good luck
 kpsstr
Joined: 8/17/2018
Msg: 18
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/14/2018 4:04:11 PM
I am a Libran and I wear my emotions on my sleeve every time. I do this because I know if I fall, I will fall hard, but if it does work, it's the real deal. It's a crap shoot, but if you care, you have to go for it. I get how you feel, but the bottom line is just be you. You can't lose if you just are yourself. If it was meant to be under this circumstance so be it. If not, also so be it because you give being yourself and if it was with love, you are where you are supposed to be. Anything given in love is always right.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 19
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/15/2018 6:28:51 AM
No kiss yet? Some guys don't know what to do. But it's early yet.

Don't grab his butt, that's not polite.

Him touching you was a good sign. And he did not pull away when you put your arm through his, good.

Well, it's only been a couple of dates, give it a little time. Try to get him in a comfy and romantic environment which encourages kissing, like on a couch. It sounds like it's going good so far!
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 20
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/15/2018 9:52:01 PM

Next week will be the third time we've gone out and I want a kiss, or to make it clear I want to be more intimate with him. How do I go about doing this?

Get close to him. Look into his eyes and then kiss him. Nothing wrong with a woman initiating the first kiss. Some men can be overly cautious during the first few dates.
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 21
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/16/2018 12:30:53 PM
Latest update - RE when he told me he might go to an event next week and did I want to come with? I said yes but could he please let me know around mid-week as I may end up having other plans otherwise.

So today he contacts me saying 'I'm definitely getting a ticket to X thing if you want to come'. Right now I'm thinking...is this actually a date? Will he have friends going too?' He definitely phrases it as 'I'm going anyway, would be great to see you there. I've never been with a man who arranged dates in such a way, though I think he may be inexperienced...

it makes me feel i'm in the friendzone or he just doesn't get it!
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 22
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/16/2018 12:37:18 PM

it makes me feel i'm in the friendzone or he just doesn't get it!


Going to teach you little trick in life.

Be straight to the point and just ask him if it's a date or not now. Stop **** footing around, and grow some.

Life is short.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 23
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/16/2018 12:37:33 PM
This was a shy, socially inept way of asking you out. I don't think he put you in the friendzone - he's just inexperienced, as you correctly guessed.

You're going to have to be more aggressive with him. Pin him down and ask him if this is a date.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 24
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Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/16/2018 1:45:32 PM
Too much overthinking. He asked you, it's a date. GO!
 apriloveswhiteroses
Joined: 7/28/2018
Msg: 25
Looks like I'm being ghosted - by a guy I will 100% see again. Help?
Posted: 10/16/2018 6:49:08 PM
But..But..Who is going to pay for the ticket??...
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