Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Fancy my friend      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lemmy89
Joined: 10/5/2018
Msg: 1
Fancy my friendPage 1 of 1    
Hi all,

This girl I used to work with for around 8 months(I was sort of her boss) with in London went back to home to Sweden about 3 months ago. We always got along really well in London and we went on a few trips together around the UK. We could always joke with each other and could we could have a conversation for hours without a break. I really enjoyed her company!

We talked about me visitng her in Sweden before she left so I went in September and visited her while staying at her mothers home for a week about 3 weeks ago now. We had a great time doing lots of touristy things. Also did a trip along with her mum aswell! It was during that time that I began to really like her more than a friend and develop feelings for her. I tried to be all gentlemanly possibly impressing the mum more than her but I don't think I expressed to her that I had feelings for her as... well... I am English.
...
I have arranged to go on holiday with her again in 1 month to Mallorca for one week and am hoping to see if I still feel strongly about her.

My issue is whether I should be direct and tell her how I feel during the holiday and if so when during the holiday? I do not know why but I have a feeling she does not feel the same way about me and sees me more as a friend as she is still using dating apps like tinder and she is quite open with me about previous relationships. I talk to her quite frequently over text messages, sometimes on a daily basis or every other week.

I am the kind of person who is best to just get things off my chest rather than let them bottle up inside me and drive me crazy even if there is a chance it could ruin our current relationship.

I look forward about any advice

Thanks!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Fancy my friend
Posted: 10/12/2018 6:10:07 PM
You don't need advice. You already answered your own question...

"I am the kind of person who is best to just get things off my chest rather than let them bottle up inside me and drive me crazy even if there is a chance it could ruin our current relationship."

You don't want just a "friendship" any more so by all means "get it off your chest". "To thine self be true" ~ Polonius in Hamlet. William Shakespeare.
 lemmy89
Joined: 10/5/2018
Msg: 3
Fancy my friend
Posted: 10/13/2018 9:13:12 AM
Thanks Penny for your graceful advice!

Now I am just in the pickle of when to tell her how I feel and how I go about it. It is something I'd rather do in person than over a phone call or text message. I think to have a chat with her after a few days after spending time together is the best time to see if I still feel the same way. Telling her and beginning or at the end I think would be more awkward.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Fancy my friend
Posted: 10/13/2018 4:03:47 PM
The next time you are with her just kiss her. You'll know the answer by how she responds.

If she does not have the same feelings for you, no problem - get out there and date and meet new ladies.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Fancy my friend
Posted: 10/14/2018 9:22:14 AM
You are in a pickle if you think you are. Relax, the right moment will present itself and when that time comes you will know it. Don't worry about the setting or the timing or the words. Just express yourself. Use your intuition and if you're a religious man, pray. It's only going to be awkward if you make it awkward. At least one way or another you will know how she feels. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
 vtgirl0063
Joined: 1/12/2018
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Fancy my friend
Posted: 12/15/2018 2:47:04 PM
Hello all I think if we treat each other
 MsIffy
Joined: 5/9/2017
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Fancy my friend
Posted: 12/17/2018 2:15:21 AM
"Now I am just in the pickle of when to tell her how I feel and how I go about it. It is something I'd rather do in person than over a phone call or text message. I think to have a chat with her after a few days after spending time together is the best time to see if I still feel the same way. Telling her and beginning or at the end I think would be more awkward."

OP, Just have a great holiday and on the last night of the holiday arrange a romantic surprise date night and tell her how you feel, explain to her when you started developing feels for her ie the trip to Sweden in this case she knows your friendship was genuine from the beginning . It won't be awkward telling her at the end as you both will be heading home the next day so she will have time to think about it within the next few days when she gets home and she won't feel under pressure to give you an answer straight away.

Good luck.
how to handle his pickle
Posted: 12/17/2018 10:20:57 AM
from experience, i would say...be careful how you drop that bomb on your female friend. she may return to tell her friends how it ruined the whole trip. i might suggest waiting until after you both return and mentioning, "hey, i had a thought, we spent such a time together and it made me wonder..." but everyone's mileage may vary.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Fancy my friend