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 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 1
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Using different names?Page 1 of 1    
So do the same people have accounts on different dating sites with different names?
It's like deja vu when I go to another site.
Why don't they use the same name?
The sites are all owned by the same parent company, lol.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 2
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/24/2018 12:39:36 PM
are ya trying to stalk them?? lol
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 3
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/24/2018 1:28:28 PM
When you see a pic on one dating site, it kinda sticks in your mind.
When you join another dating site and those pics show up again, the human brain has a remarkable ability to make the association.
I've already communicated with a couple of them on POF.
Just wondering why people choose a different name..
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 4
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/24/2018 1:44:45 PM

Just wondering why people choose a different name..

In a word... Google

It's just far too easy to find someone with the same identity markers across websites - and the composite knowledge from a few of them is all that is really needed to find out far more than they want you to know.

The same pictures used across sites is easily the worst crime. A nice, smiling professional photo in here will more than likely e on a couple other dating sites, their LinkedIn page, and Facebook, to name a few. Using the same nickname or alias does happen, but not as often.

If I see the same mugshot in here as on something like Tinder, and the nicknames are at least similar (say, "Jen_1973" and "JGirl73") it proves to me - they are a legitimate, congruous person and not afraid to allow someone to at least know their first name. It gives them a bit of credibility. If they list their profiles by a legitimate name, but use a totally different name on another site (say, "Tammy" and "Michelle") - that leads to suspicion that EITHER name is honest - or that they are capable of being truthful. You can argue anything you want about internet security - but a lie is a lie - just like someone fibbing about their height or age - and we CAN be skeptical about them until proven otherwise.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 5
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/24/2018 2:43:48 PM
The pics are the same.
The profile text is the same, including spelling mistakes.
Name is often very different.

I thought the whole purpose of using a different site is to reach a wider audience, not necessarily to appear like a different person or to avoid cross-site detection by a search engine.

The clientele tends to be different though. One site that begins with M has a lot more uppity people than a site that begins with O. The site that begins with P has many disgruntled people who indicate their frustration in their profiles.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 6
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/24/2018 6:56:50 PM
One thing I am not doing is hiding. I can be found rather easily on multiple sites. I have stated before, here in these forums, anyone who wants to send me a private message but is blocked by the silly rules can find me on Ok*Cupid, same userid, and no silly rules. But of course that’s no longer true, Ok*Cupid is trying to go the way of Bumble.

One interesting note, I have found several women from here over on the more adult oriented sites. Quite illuminating seeing the difference in the profiles. I asked one woman (a former regular here in these very forums) about that. Her reply, “POF is for finding Mr. Right. AM is for finding Mr. Right Now.” She went on to tell me that when she dated married men she could have younger, better looking men who were not cheap.

Hey, whatever floats your boat.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 7
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/25/2018 12:25:26 AM
I have no doubt that the attention can be pretty
addicting.Thank the lord that that would never go to anyone's head!
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 8
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/25/2018 11:10:42 AM
Might be a good idea to hide political affiliation.
I hear users on POF are getting blocked because of their political affiliation.

Is that blocking abuse?
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 9
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/25/2018 11:30:47 AM

I asked one woman (a former regular here in these very forums) about that. Her reply, “POF is for finding Mr. Right. AM is for finding Mr. Right Now.” She went on to tell me that when she dated married men she could have younger, better looking men who were not cheap.


Were you on Ashley Madison at one point? From what I remember, you could not view/read others' profiles unless you had a profile set up yourself.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 10
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/25/2018 6:40:03 PM
I've used the same name for 7 years. Same name on Twitter. If I signed onto any other site same name, but I don't use them so people would not find me there.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 11
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/25/2018 8:12:30 PM
I think I had different names on every dating site, they never accepted the same name. It always took hours to get a username accepted. I haven't been back to any of them in years, can't even remember the names of the sites. LOL. The names didn't have a thing to do with any trickery, it was about the site excepting a username. And yes, I would block a Trump supporter, my life is too short to talk with someone that to me would be repulsive, as I would be to them.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 12
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/26/2018 4:31:26 AM


Might be a good idea to hide political affiliation.
I hear users on POF are getting blocked because of their political affiliation.

Is that blocking abuse?


The blocking might be inappropriate. If you voted for Trump and don't say or show so in your profile, and someone sends you a first message and you see "No Trump supporters" in their about me, I would consider it blocking abuse if you block them. They're not psychic and can't tell you voted for Trump. Odds are they won't message you again if you simply don't respond.

Blocking should be to prevent likely future unwanted messages, not as an attack by emotionally unstable people.

Now if your profile clearly states your politics, and some idiot with incompatible politics sends you a message indicating they didn't read your profile, then the blocking would be more justified. Or if you exchange a few messages and the other person says something repulsive, then it might make sense to block them. Though you still can probably get away with just deleting the conversation and not responding.

One line I see often is "Don't contact me if you voted for Trump". Many of us who cast a vote for Trump in November 2016 don't actually like Trump. We chose the lesser of two evils and were forced to vote for Trump to prevent Hillary from winning. I voted for Sanders in the primary, and probably hate Trump more than most people who didn't vote for Trump hate Trump. But I will comply with their wishes and not message them.

Hiding political affiliation has the advantage of keeping your profile positive and not reminding the other person about unpleasant issues. It has the positive of preventing players from lying and claiming they're on your side so they can have a one night stand (one example of creepiness about politics was in the movie Taxi Driver where the cab driver stalks a girl and says he favors a candidate so he can be around her).


Hiding politics has the negative of delaying the discovery of incompatible issues. Wasting time, energy, and possibly money. If they had it in their profile or showed it in a photo, you could have avoided.


One of my favorite things about OKC back when they were a viable site was the questions. Before messaging someone, I always went to the questions section and chose the "unacceptable answers" to see where we disagree. Knowing these increased confidence messaging those who still seemed compatible.


I like being able to recognize someone I've seen on a different site. Typically they use the same first name. A distinctive photo makes it easiest to remember someone from a different site.

Bumble recently added fields for smoking, drinking, height, pets, kids, politics, etc, so I'm glad to see their settings on someone I already saw on Tinder whose setting might be a mystery. The vast majority of Bumble users seem to be liberal, as was the case on OKC.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 13
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/26/2018 10:18:29 AM

siisaa
Were you on Ashley Madison at one point? From what I remember, you could not view/read others' profiles unless you had a profile set up yourself.

I first signed up on AM back in 2009, when I was separated and going through a divorce. I discovered quite quickly that “separated” was the kiss of death on “conventional” dating sites. And yes, I’m still there, and yes, I have (and continue to) date married women. Those who are separated, and those who are in open marriages. I don’t sneak around and have “afternoon rendezvous”, but this world is a very big and very complex place, and every situation is unique.

The average profile on AM has no picture, and very few (if any) words. You pay a couple of dollars to send an initial message (all messages after that are free). You send that initial message, they answer (or they don’t), you start a conversation, you exchange pictures, and after that it’s pretty much like any other OLD site.

I have been roasted on these forums for recommending AM to those women who claim they cannot get a date to save their life. Down over the years, I have known (in real life) several women who followed my advice, and did get dates. And at least one of them is now married to a man she met through AM. No, he wasn’t married, and neither was she. These days, the majority of profiles on AM are from single people. AM has replaced Tinder as the hookup site, and many adults have discovered that hookups can lead to much more.

Your life, your choice. If you’re tired of sitting home alone, well …
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 14
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/26/2018 12:31:14 PM
Interesting, Henry. How do you know these women are in open marriages? Do you somehow get confirmation from their husbands or just go off their word?

I once knew a guy who claimed he and his girlfriend were in an open relationship and he wanted to smash.....bad. Although he was sexy & I was attracted to him, I never took him up on his offer (and boy, did he try) because I had a sneaking suspicion that he was lying (i.e. just a cheater) and I had no confirmation from his girlfriend, either. Though I could've asked her, I didn't care enough to find out. He and his d*ck were not worth the hassle. Eventually he stopped pursuing me.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 15
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/26/2018 5:09:15 PM

siisaa
Interesting, Henry. How do you know these women are in open marriages? Do you somehow get confirmation from their husbands or just go off their word?

How do you know that anyone you meet though any online dating site isn’t married and cheating? We quite often see women here in the forums complaining about the number of married men they encounter through this site.

Basically, if she is willing to go out on the town, dinner in a nice place, dancing at a high end establishment rather than a dive on the other side of town, then you just go with your instincts.

I know I’ve told this story before, but not recently, so here goes …

A few years back, I had an initial meeting with a woman from either POF or Ok*Cupid, doesn’t matter which. We met on a weekday evening for drinks at a trendy hangout not that far from my house (and hers). She spent the best part of the evening complaining about how all of the men that she met turned out to be married. After she asked me for the third or fourth time, “Are you sure you aren’t married?”, I responded with “What would it take to convince you?” That questioned silenced her momentarily, so I followed up with, ”Would you like to go through my house and see for yourself?”

Much to my surprise, she enthusiastically took me up on that offer. So there I was, on a first date / initial meeting, with my date going though my house, checking out all of the closets and medicine cabinets. Sheesh.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 16
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/26/2018 5:53:08 PM
The last long term relationship I had was about four years ago. The only evidence a woman was ever in the house is a few pink disposable razors and a pink travel-sized can of shaving cream in the medicine cabinet that are probably five years old. Visitors and relatives STILL find them on occasion. I tell them if you are not going to use them, leave them for the next needy soul that needs a trim.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 17
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/27/2018 7:50:50 AM

One line I see often is "Don't contact me if you voted for Trump". Many of us who cast a vote for Trump in November 2016 don't actually like Trump. We chose the lesser of two evils and were forced to vote for Trump to prevent Hillary from winning. I voted for Sanders in the primary, and probably hate Trump more than most people who didn't vote for Trump hate Trump. But I will comply with their wishes and not message them.


I would give you a cigar. The libs tend NOT to understand that. In a country where the choice is one idiot vs 1 buffoon, we don't often have a choice. That being said Trump is a disappointment I think to many who voted for him.

On topic. I don't care what name they use. We are "ALL strangers until we aren't" an no one has obligations to anyone else. There use to be a nut job on here who would do online searches for the names of guys she was meeting and would ask everyone in town(postman, butcher,etc) if they knew the guy.Just knowing some women would/can do that is enough reason to make up names.

Any person who thinks you owe them your complete disclosure without knowing them is clingy and isn't worth the effort in the 1st place.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/27/2018 11:17:28 AM
My stance on Trump is not the same thing as someone voting for a different person than I am, it's that Trump is a horrible gutterscum who has always been known for what he is. No one was shocked by Trump, they voted for what he is. Totally different from most elections. So no, I have no interest in anyone who is a Trump supporter. I was not happy with Hillary as a choice, but next to Trump...Hillary was so much better. Nothing would bring me to vote for a thug like Trump.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 19
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/29/2018 1:30:27 AM
How is blocking someone simply by virtue of his political affiliation any different than blocking someone because of the color of his skin, or his religion?
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 20
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/29/2018 5:36:01 AM


One interesting note, I have found several women from here over on the more adult oriented sites. Quite illuminating seeing the difference in the profiles. I asked one woman (a former regular here in these very forums) about that. Her reply, “POF is for finding Mr. Right. AM is for finding Mr. Right Now.”


POF is a place to find a cheapskate who whines about paying for a cup of coffee, brings his own in a cup to a Dunkin Donuts -- sexy.


She went on to tell me that when she dated married men she could have younger, better looking men who were not cheap.


She's right: younger, better looking men aren't cheap. They are also great with expressing themselves and their emotions and are very nurturing and encouraging.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 21
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Posted: 10/29/2018 5:38:54 AM

How is blocking someone simply by virtue of his political affiliation any different than blocking someone because of the color of his skin, or his religion?


It isn't. In the world of intimate relationship, this is appropriate. Consent is important in a relationship and nobody should be forced to bed/date somebody they don't want in their lives.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 22
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Using different names?
Posted: 10/30/2018 2:53:36 PM
"So do the same people have accounts on different dating sites with different names?
It's like deja vu when I go to another site.
Why don't they use the same name?
The sites are all owned by the same parent company, lol."

Well, they are now. Years ago, POF was independent, and so was Match and OKC and the others. Then as American businesses are wont to do, one started buying up the rest (Match, mainly). Match closed out some of the services they bought, and screwed up the processes on others. Not sure why anyone would spend money on something so that they could sabotage it. Maybe to try to violently force everyone to buy paid memberships.

Anyway. I used to have different names on different sites, for a variety of reasons. Not to avoid being recognized (I always post a picture of me, or not at all). Sometimes the site wouldn't let me use the the name I used on another site, sometimes just because I had a different thought when I was signing up. When I signed up here, there were already several other Young Frankenstein themed names, and I liked the way that the running joke in the film about changing the pronunciation of a name was silly, that I chose a similar silly appellation.

However, I also discovered that SOME sites actually steal profiles from other sites, change the names on them, and add them to THEIR site, to "fluff up" their apparent membership. Almost like having a party, and setting up a bunch of mannequins in the room to make it appear that you have more friends, and the party is more "happening" than it really is.
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